Friday, February 29, 2008

Prayer is an Egg


Don't do daily prayers like a bird
pecking, moving its head
up and down. Prayer is an egg.

Hatch out the total helplessness inside.

~~Rumi

Source: translated by Coleman Barks



Rumi quote is from Inward/Outward. Subscribe here.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Jesus Prayer

Κύριε Ἰησοῦ Χριστέ, ἐλέησόν με.Eastern Orthodox prayer rope
Kyrie Jesu Christe, eleison me.
Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.


During the Shalem time, another "Shalemite" told me how he prays the Jesus Prayer in Greek every morning and has done so for the past five years. He eventually told me that it resounds in him during his daily life, kind of like a prayer wheel. That is when it has become the Prayer of the Heart.

I brought my prayer rope with me to the Shalem gathering, in hopes that I would pray the Jesus Prayer, which still comes to me in English. TB told that he found that he could pay more attention to the Greek words than the English, so I thought I would try that. Back at home, I am trying to do this sporadically.

Albert S. Rossi at St. Vladimir's Orthodox Theological Seminary's site of Saying the Jesus Prayer writes this:

"We don't say the Jesus Prayer, or enter wordless contemplation, to get "some benefit." We don't pray to reduce our stress, or strengthen our immune system, or lose weight, or add years to our life. On the contrary, we enter prayer to follow Christ, to become open to Him."

God brings about our prayer. My former priest and spiritual director always said that the Holy Spirit prompts the Jesus Prayer (and prayer of any kind)--not for "benefits" but for Love. Guess that's why I call my blog "Yearning for God."


Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Love offers Freedom

Meister Eckhart (trans. Daniel Ladinsky) about unexpected love:http://new.trailsidegalleries.com/images/artthumb/9605thumb.jpg

"All day long a little burro labors, sometimes with heavy loads on her back and sometimes just with worries about things that bother only burros. And worries, as we know, can be more exhausting than physical labor. Once in a while a kind monk comes to her stable and brings a pear, but more than that, he looks into the burro's eyes and touches her ears and for a few seconds the burro is free and even seems to laugh, because love does that: Love offers freedom."

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

More about Prayer

When I wrote yesterday about prayer, using Ruth Burrows' quotes, I felt like I could not add anything else; it was too long already. So I am now going to put the rest of her words that follow St. John of the Cross' loosely translated words: "God is always at work and God's work is God," which you can see at Prayer is what God does.

"Such must be our certain faith. Given this understanding and the resolution to stand by it, there can be no problems about prayer, nor can there be any illusions. Anxieties, problems, doubts about our prayer can only arise when we are viewing prayer essentially as what we do for God; and so, of course, what we do becomes very important to us and we are anxious to get it right. Firmly grasping that this is not the case, but that prayer is always rather what God does for us, in us, through us and that our part is simply to be there, as simply and humbly as a child, for Him to act, we are always at peace, never discouraged. We might think that we fail all the time, that we 'can't pray', or that our hour of prayer seems, perhaps, a wash-out from start to finish. But we can smile at ourselves and tell ourselves it doesn't matter: the hour has been full of God because we have wanted to give God that time and receive from Him there all that He has to give." (178-179)

Burrows, Ruth. Essence of Prayer. Mahwah, NJ: Hiddenspring. 2006.

The Story of STUFF



From its extraction through sale, use and disposal, all the stuff in our lives affects communities at home and abroad, yet most of this is hidden from view. The Story of Stuff is a 20-minute, fast-paced, fact-filled look at the underside of our production and consumption patterns. The Story of Stuff exposes the connections between a huge number of environmental and social issues, and calls us together to create a more sustainable and just world. It'll teach you something, it'll make you laugh, and it just may change the way you look at all the stuff in your life forever.

Take the TIME--20 minutes--to look at this video!

Monday, February 25, 2008

Emotions


cartoon from www.weblogcartoons.com

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.


Think of all the bottles to cast aside so that the wind of Grace can more easily blow us across the sea of life to the One, as described in The Spiritual Life.

Prayer is what God does.

In the latest book by Ruth Burrows that I read, the author emphasized that our job in prayer is to receive God's love. It is not what we do, but what God is always doing--"prayer is essentially what God does, how God addresses us, looks at us." (1) ". . . we must realize that what we have to do is allow ourselves to be loved, to be there for Love to love us." (3)


"We must remember that prayer takes place at the deepest level of our person and escapes our direct cognition; therefore we can make no judgment about it." (6) How many times do I say that nothing happened in prayer; that I do not feel any presence of God? Then I'm judging my performance of prayer, looking only at myself and ignoring the Holy One. My ego is back in control.

"Keeping our deepest heart exposed, refusing to usurp God's place by making ourselves the agent, the giver, will mean that, most often, we have no sense of having prayed well or having prayed at all." (7)

This reminds me of Father Thomas Keating saying about centering prayer that the most important thing is to show up.

"So, at prayer we are starkly confronted with a choice: Do I stake everything on Jesus or do I choose to rely on my subjective experience?" (178) There's my interpretation of what's going on through my lenses of me, myself, and I, in which I always want validation and rewards.

"We must be ready to believe that 'nothingness' is the presence of divine Reality; emptiness is a holy void that Divine Love is filling. . . We must give up wanting assurances either from within or without." (6)

"To maintain this simple, trusting exposure to divine Love inevitably means resisting the temptation to 'make a success' of prayer." (6)

"The accent is not on our prayer, our 'performance,' but on being there, exposed to God, lovingly eager to receive God and certain that we do so, regardless of how we feel. God is always at work and God's work is God. (c.f. St. John of the Cross, Maxims 29)" (178)

"The principle labor of the Christian is to believe that divine love is the breadth and length and height and depth, and that there is simply nothing above, below or beyond it. It is our home; it enfolds us and is our utmost security both in this life and in death and beyond. We are speaking of faith, not of feelings or intellectual grasp." (47)

Burrows, Ruth. Essence of Prayer. Mahwah, NJ: Hiddenspring. 2006.

Ruth Burrows, an English Carmelite nun, has written books about mystical prayer, John of the Cross, and Teresa of Avila.I found much in her Essence of Prayer to be emphasizing the Roman Catholic and Carmelite way of life, which became understandable when I discovered that each chapter was a separate essay that had been published in various periodicals between 1982 and 2001. However, it was interesting to read about saints who had been in and/or associated with the Carmelite order: Teresa of Avila, John of the Cross, Therese of Lisieux, and Elizabeth of the Trinity.


And look at the post below where Eknath Easwaran describes an image of this kind of life.



The Spiritual Life

This is the spiritual life--with the parts of my ego that must be tossed aside so I can rest in God's Love.


The grace of God is a wind which is always blowing.
Sri Ramakrishna

"All that you and I have to do is to put up our sails and let the wind of grace carry us across the sea of life to the other shore. But most of us are firmly stuck on this shore. Our sail is torn and our boat is overloaded with excess baggage: our likes and dislikes, our habits and opinions, all the resentments and hostilities which we have acquired.

"But just as it is we, ourselves, who have acquired this baggage, it is we who can gradually learn to toss it overboard. The wind is blowing, but we have to make our boat seaworthy. We can patch up our sail, and unfurl it to catch the wind that will carry us to the other shore."

~~Eknath Easwaran

The Thought for the Day is today's entry from Eknath Easwaran's Words to Live By. (Copyright 1999 and 2005 by The Blue Mountain Center of Meditation.)

Select the Thought for the Day for any day of the year.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Middle Name Meme

I saw this over at View from the Pews, and since I'm dawdling, I'll do it here:

Here are the rules
1. You have to post the rules before you give your answers.

2. You must list one fact about yourself beginning with each letter of your middle name. (If you don't have a middle name, use your maiden name or your mother's maiden name).

3. At the end of your blog post, you need to tag one person for each letter of your middle name. (Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged.)

A is for asceticism. Not that I'm an ascetic, but I learned recently that a committed daily time of prayer can be considered "asceticism." That gives me a new perspective on both prayer and asceticism.

N is for nice. My eldest child DC tells me that he remembers me telling him "to be nice" when he was little, so I suppose I told all four of my children to behave nicely.

N is for Nippon, which is the Japanese name for "Japan." I lived in Japan when I was in the 6th, 7th, and 8th grades.

E
is for eclectic, because I am an eclectic Christian.

Now I tag Katherine E., Wyrdbyrd, Jiff, and Zorra.

Presidential Aspirants in Corpus Christi

http://www.thewashingtonnote.com/archives/clinton%20obama%20steve%20clemons.jpghttp://cache.viewimages.com/xc/1586428.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF1939057D9939C83F10604AB822188FE4FD35A5397277B4DC33E

In the last week or so Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Ted Kennedy, and Bill Clinton have all been to Corpus Christi, TX and its environs. The March 4 Primary Election in Texas is a bigger deal than usual. MJ has two friends who have gone to each of the four gatherings to see them. One of her friends showed me pictures she's taken. MJ went and saw Bill Clinton on Saturday morning, in a park near one of the malls. She got up at 6:30 am to go, even after getting home from a soccer game in San Antonio at 1 am(which is why she missed Barack Obama). She also went with her friends to see Ted Kennedy earlier in the week, but said that was quite boring.

It is interesting to see such big crowds showing up for these short speaking events. An AP article comments that: "Political insiders are unsure what to make of it all: No one has seen these kinds of crowds so long before Election Day." The girls say that this election is exciting with both a woman and a black man running for president. And I'm impressed that they are so interested.

I might vote in the Primary with early voting tomorrow.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Jesus and the Samaritan Woman

Time erased

By life-giving water,

Offered by a man who had no bucket,

Who knew me not, yet knew me well.

My past washed clean

In the spring that I became —

Flowing, flowing through me,

God's instrument.

Never again shall I thirst.

Judy Ritter


Jesus and the Samaritan Woman

Dr. He Qi is a professor at the Nanjing Union Theological Seminary and a tutor for master candidate students in the Philosophy Department of Nanjing University. He is also a member of the China Art Association and a council member of the Asian Christian Art Association.
Date:2001

Cleaning up some of the clutter

I really should be doing spring cleaning in my house, especially among books and clothes. For right now, I am looking at my blog. Some of the icons here are probably ignored, so I'm going to put them in this post here and take them off the sidebars of the blog. I have too much "stuff"!

The Hunger Site








502 Posts!

http://thelittlechimpsociety.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/500_a01.jpg

502 posts! 500 slipped by with my thoughts of coming home from Baltimore, but I find it hard to believe such prolific posting has occurred in the past 9 months. This is a surprise! Thank you, friends, whom I'm glad I've met in this airy blogosphere.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Night Driving in the Fog

http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/84/80/23278084.jpg

In a surprising turn of events, I drove from San Antonio to Corpus Christi last night, with the last hour in deep fog in the dark. That certainly brought prayer to my mind, as I kept asking God for help as I varied between 45-60 mph, depending upon how much I could see. I was so glad to get to the street lights of Corpus Christi!

My travel day started off very happily when I was put on the earlier flight from Baltimore to Dallas. I was smiling as I looked at the monitor and saw that my later flight was being delayed by 1 1/2 hours. So this looked good!

However, when I got to DFW Airport, I barely missed the 4:40 pm flight to Corpus Christi. That was disappointing until I looked at the overhead monitor and saw that it had been cancelled. So it looked like I had four hours to spend wandering the airport terminals. I read quite a bit of the novel I bought at a bookstore at the Baltimore Airport (and self-indulgently paid full price for): Suite Francaise by Iree Nemirovsky, which is excellent. But even a reader like me can only read so much. Then I paid $5 for 20 minutes at a kiosk computer terminal, which didn't work very well, as you can see by one comment I wrote on the MD --> TX today! post. Talking to daughter AE was fun, and eventually I looked at the monitor again, only to be horrified by the 9:25 flight to Corpus Christi being cancelled!
http://current.newsweek.com/budgettravel/monitor%20flights.jpg


I hurriedly went to a counter, where the ticket agent tapped away on her computer and asked if I'd like to go to Laredo?? But then I was offered stand-by on a flight to San Antonio that was leaving in 30 minutes, so I raced to the sky rail between terminals to get there and wait--AND they called my name! YAY!

So dear husband CB reserved me a rental car (that doesn't have cruise control), which I drove home last night. It was wonderful to come home, even if it was this morning.

This afternoon we'll drive to San Antonio again, both of us driving cars. MJ has a soccer game there, and I will return the rental car at the airport before we go to her game.

Now I'm just waiting to find out where my suitcase is!

Nelson Mandela--NOT!

Dove with flowers
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?”
Actually, who are you not to be?

Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.

There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

--Marianne Williamson


Thank you to one of my Shalem friends (Therese)--for this memorable quote.

And thank you to Traveller One for telling me the true author (Marianne Williamson) of this famous quote, which has long been attributed to Nelson Mandela.

[
"That writing is two paragraphs from my 1992 book "A RETURN TO LOVE."(In the WORK section, in a chapter called PERSONAL POWER) "--Marianne Williamson]

Thursday, February 21, 2008

MD --> TX today!

http://a.abcnews.com/images/Business/pd_airplane_071022_ms.jpg

Today is travel day! After the final Shalem conversation and the final worship, I go off with six other people on the airport shuttle van to the Baltimore Airport. I tried to print my boarding pass on one of these computers last night, but it wouldn't do it--so I went to another computer to log in to American Airlines, and then was told that I'd already checked in and "another" boarding pass could not be printed! I'd like to get on an earlier flight to Dallas and then an earlier one to Corpus Christi, but as it stands now--IF all goes well--I'll be on the last flight to CC and get there at 10:25 pm. (I hope so, because last year, when I came home from Shalem, I was delayed and had to spend the night in a smoky hotel room without my luggage.) So here's hoping I'll get home tonight!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Praying/Meditating



Thank you to Ellie at Meditation Matters to help me describe what my silent prayer too often is!

The Basis for Our Security

"What is the basis of our security? When we start thinking about that question, we may give many answers: success, money, friends, property, popularity, family, connections, insurance, and so on. We may not always think that any of these forms the basis of our security, but our actions or feelings may tell us otherwise. When we start losing our money, our friends, or our popularity, our anxiety often reveals how deeply our sense of security is rooted in these things.

"A spiritual life is a life in which our security is based not in any created things, good as they may be, but in God, who is everlasting love. We probably will never be completely free from our attachment to the temporal world, but if we want to live in that world in a truly free way, we'd better not belong to it. "You cannot be the slave both of God and of money" (Luke 16:13)."

~~Henri Nouwen

From the free daily message found at the Henri Nouwen webpage. Subscribe.

This describes what was confirmed as my growing edge here at Shalem. Being a spiritual director is not about how good (or bad) I am, but about my trust in God as my security and ALL. God is the Source. Oh, to remember this each moment of my life!

So often in these days, Julian of Norwich has been quoted, which sums up spiritual direction and also life:

"I look at God; I look at you; I keep looking at God."

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Exercise for when I get back to TX!

Today's Cartoon

People

People
No people are uninteresting.
Their fate is like the chronicle of planets.

Nothing in them is not particular,
and planet is dissimilar from planet.

And if a man lived in obscurity
making his friends in that obscurity
obscurity is not uninteresting.

To each his world is private,
and in that world one excellent minute.

And in that world one tragic minute.
These are private.

In any man who dies there dies with him
his first snow and kiss and fight.
It goes with him.

There are left books and bridges
and painted canvas and machinery.
Whose fate is to survive.

But what has gone is also not nothing:
by the rule of the game something has gone.
Not people die but worlds die in them.

-- Yevgeny Yevtushenko

This is the poem that I left on my future husband's
windshield, which I told about in the Marriage Meme.
You can tell that that was when I was in an
existentialist phase, wondering about God, which is
probably predictable in college and also because I was
dating an atheist.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Shalem Time

Hi. I'm still on Shalem time. We had 36 hours of silence, from Saturday night to Monday morning (today!). One friend here told me how she slept more than she expected in the day time, which reminds me of how I am when I go to Lebh Shomea, the silent retreat center in Sarita--I try to spend at least three days and nights there, because the first day I keep falling asleep! I think that deep fatigue under everything else finally surfaces in the quiet.

The silence was nice, as was the slower pace with no scheduled seminars. Though it is nice to have a longer period of silence, that is not practical when only ten days are set aside for the Shalem Residential time.

I am realizing that I came here, thinking I needed to find the "right" or Shalem way of spiritual direction. I am slowly integrating what I've been reading for the past few years; that I am to stay with my sight on God as much as possible and go from there. One man, a retired Methodist minister, helped me by asking questions (spiritual directing?) that prompted me to realize a further unwrapping of my last post--not to worry so much on posing enough questions, etc., but to be myself in God. The emphasis on being in one's heart with God helps me so much--and promoting silence even in the spiritual direction time to re-orient ourselves to the Holy One.

This is a good time. Tomorrow Rose Mary Dougherty will speak on discernment and reconciliation. On Saturday Tilden Edwards spoke about different traditions, chanting, and haiku. He also talked about my Episcopal Church in Corpus Christi as an example of living out of a contemplative viewpoint, especially with its Contemplative Eucharist every Thursday evening. He said he'd mentioned All Saints Episcopal Church in his new book, which is exciting! (But the publisher hasn't told him yet if it will be published.)

As Katherine E. was asking if I was still in Maryland, I'll tell you that the Shalem time will be over Thursday morning. Then all the travel starts!

And for a pertinent painting and post about spiritual direction, go to Purpletologically Speaking.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Shalem Peer Presentation

A few days ago, I presented about one of my directees to my Shalem peer group, which is made up of four other people in the program and one staff member. I was again surprised at how God guides the whole process, and much was revealed to me about myself.

The peer group process is where the members are spiritual directing the spiritual director who presents. That is exactly what happened to me.

After all the Shalem seminars about freedom and openness, I was questioning whether I act as a spiritual director in the "right" or Shalem way. They helped me to see that with this one person, I am feeling peaceful and in connection during our time together, but later I start questioning myself. Probably I am more connected with God in the time with the directee, rather than later when I am judging myself, especially when I notice myself as labeling my actions as "right" or "wrong"--there's a red flag to pay attention!

This is so true of how I have lived. Maybe it's because I grew up in an alcoholic home, with that "elephant" in the middle of the living room that was never talked about. I grew to doubt my own views and expected to be wrong and told what was "true." This has continued through life with me thinking I'm not as good enough or right enough as someone else, even though I am a smart person. Although I am growing into myself, I still sometimes act this way when I'm unsure.

It is amazing to me to think that possibly I have been listening to God in talking with this person. There is validation in this, but also another invitation to trust myself in God and trust God. I'm in awe and so very grateful.

It's the broken feather that two past spiritual directors have told me is mine--TRUST. It fits with my history.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Marriage Meme

Wyrdbyrd tagged me the day I left for MD, and with this free night tonight I am trying this Marriage Meme. Poor CB won't be consulted at all.

1. Where / how did you meet?
CB and I went to high school together, but never dated. He asked me out on my 18th birthday, when we were both attending the college in our hometown. We dated three times and then stopped. Then that May I left a poem called "People" by Yvetushenko on the windshield of his car after I heard he was having a hard time, and we started dating from then on.

2. How long have you known each other?
We've known each other for 42 years.

3. How long after you met did you start dating?
Which time?? From the first date, it was 2 1/2 years.

4. How long did you date before you were engaged?
1 1/2 years.

5. How long was your engagement?
1 1/2 years.

6. How long have you been married?
36 years.

7. When is your anniversary?
December 21

8. How many people came to your wedding reception?
About 50+.

9. What kind of cake did you serve?
White.

10. Where was your wedding?
In St. Paul's Episcopal Church and the reception was in their parish hall.

11. What did you serve for the meal?
No meal--cookies and punch. My mother and I made Mexican wedding cake cookies for weeks beforehand.

12. How many people were in your bridal party?
4 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen.

13. Are you still friends with them all?
With the females, yes. Not with all the males.

14. Did your spouse cry during the ceremony?
No.

15. Most special moment of your wedding day?
Having communion with CB.

16. Any funny moments?
After the fact, there is a very funny picture of CB and me kissing on the front steps of the church, and CB's younger brother (16 years old) standing behind us with his mouth wide open.

17. Any big disasters?
They almost forgot to get CB and Father Winn to come into the sanctuary!

18. Where did you go on your honeymoon?
San Francisco

19. How long were you gone?
Three days, because we came back late on Christmas Eve.

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change?
I'd rather have a date not as close to Christmas, because we usually have little time to celebrate "the" day.

21. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Right side.

22. What size is your bed
King

23. Greatest strength as a couple?
We've stuck together through really hard times.

24. Greatest challenge as a couple?
Communication

25. Who literally pays the bills?
CB handles the finances.

26. What is your song?
Probably "Nights in White Satin" by the Moody Blues.

27. What did you dance your first dance to?
No dancing.

28. Describe your wedding dress.
My mother made the dress--Long, with long sleeves, made of ivory silk brocade, with buttons down the back.

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding?
White roses. There were red poinsettias at the end of each aisle.

30. Are your wedding bands engraved?
No.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Spiritual Maturity

Greetings from Maryland. Tonight is our first free night at Shalem, and so I am luxuriating in the use of one of the eight computers in the computer room. Sadly, I cannot figure out how to copy pictures here, so no cute images. . . . So I wish you hearts!

The time here is enriching and intensive. So far, we've had four lectures a day, plus peer groups with presentations. I present tomorrow to my peer group and have probably been processing it way too much with the lectures today on spiritual awareness and spiritual experience. The Shalem way of spiritual direction is to wait, listen, and ask a few questions. I probably help too much with my directees!

Yesterday Martha Campbell, Director of the Spiritual Guidance Program, gave us a copy of an email from Jerry May about SPIRITUAL MATURITY from January 2005, which I will share with you:

Jerry wrote:

I really hate the notion of "development" and "maturity." I guess I'd want to use something like "way of being" or "quality of being" or "quality of presence."

Maturity:

  • involves realizing you ARE God, or a manifestation thereof. . . when the duality disappears. Keeping a dualistic notion of God and me sounds pretty immature to me.

  • is knowing that I don't know. Trusting that this is OK. Relaxing into this stance so that I don't have to try to figure anything out. Living in the mystery that is God.

  • is living in wonder and praise. Seeing/experiencing everything in God, "in whom I live and move and have my being." But not thinking about this, just being in the experience of it.

There is a stage/phase/experience on the path to maturity whcih looks like an increasing awareness of moments when I take back control. At those times rather than beting myself up just smiling, turning to God and with God's help letting go again. . . and again. . . and again, gently.

Well, I'm not there. . . .But I am here wishing you a Happy Valentine's Day!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Monday, February 11, 2008

Emmitsburg, MD

Rumors among the sisters here in the computer room at the Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton Retreat Center is that there will be freezing rain and snow tomorrow. I'm glad I flew to Baltimore today, as there will probably be lots of delays. The Shalem residential term for Winter 2008 starts at 2 pm on Tuesday, so it is nice to be here already.

It is only 22 degrees F. So it was about 55 degrees hotter in Corpus Christi yesterday!

Somehow hurt my knee, so I'm limping around, feeling much more sympathy for CB whose knees always hurt him.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Shalem Residential Time in Maryland

National Shrine of St Elizabeth Ann SetonNational Shrine of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton

Located in Emmitsburg, MD is the National Shrine of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton. She founded the Sisters of Charity of St. Joseph in 1809, and is the first native American to be canonized by the Catholic Church.

This is where the second residential term of the Shalem Program for Spiritual Guidance will be held Feb. 12-21.

I am flying to Dallas very early on Monday morning, hopefully catching my connecting flight to Baltimore. Then I am meeting other Shalem people who are going to share a shuttle to Emmitsburg to the Elizabeth Ann Seton Retreat Center, where we will be staying. It is wonderful being there, because the buildings are all interconnected so that we can visit the Basilica even when it is closed from the outside--at night or early in the morning.

I am going a day early, because it is impossible to travel from Corpus Christi, TX to Emmitsburg and reach the first meeting by 2 pm on Tuesday. I found that out last year! (Plus, after CB's problems traveling to Seattle last week, I have doubts about arriving anywhere on time!)

Just as I am flying to the east coast on Monday morning, so CB is traveling from the west coast to TX in the afternoon. We hope he'll get home safely that night with 18 year old MJ home alone--with two dogs and a cat.

There is a computer room in the retreat center, but I don't know how many opportunities I will have to get there. I will try periodically in the next few weeks to check in with you and visit as many friends in the blogsphere as possible.

Friendship

"Stay together, Friends. Don't scatter and sleep.
Our friendship is made of being awake."

~ Jalaluddin Rumi

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Focus on what God has given you

My Episcopal church made available Seeking to Serve: A Lenten Exploration of the Millennium Development Goals. It is published by Episcopal Relief and Development. The meditations are written and illustrated by the Rev. Jay Sidebotham, Rector of Chuch of the Holy Spirit in Lake Forest, Illinois.

Here is the meditation for Saturday, Feb. 9:

O give thanks to the Lord, call on his name. Make known his deeds among the peoples. (Psalm 105:1)

"Lent, a season of self-examination, need not be devoid of joy. Nowhere in the invitation to this holy season is there a call to be more 'miserable than thou.' Take some time today, the beginning of the season, to focus on what God has given you. Let gratitude shape your attitude as you embark on this journey for the coming weeks. Make a list of the things for which you are grateful. As you consider the ways you have been on the receiving end of God's grace, you may discover a new openness to giving to those in need."

Too much BUTTER!

[Butter+7+pounds.jpg]

I've always liked butter. When I was a little girl, my mother told stories about me reaching into the refrigerator and taking a bite out of a cube of butter. MJ says I like too much butter on my potato and toast.

Well, today I over did it, even for me!

My children have always loved Butterscotch Brownies, a recipe from the old 1957 edition of Betty Crocker's Cook Book for Boys and Girls. Betty Crocker Cookbook for Boys & GirlsSince it's such a small recipe, I usually quadruple it. I decided it would be a nice surprise to make a batch and mail Butterscotch Brownies to my children for Valentine's Day. After my early morning walk today, I made them, as I'm trying to get "everything" done before I leave early on Monday morning for MD.

A little while ago, I cut the brownies. MJ said they're darker than usual. Then she said that they're more buttery than usual. When I touched one and felt the grease, I suddenly remembered what I had done this morning--I'd put FOUR sticks of butter in the recipe, instead of two--as I was hurriedly thinking of 4X the ingredients.

MJ and I laughed and laughed. How silly. (And what a waste.)

Friday, February 8, 2008

Another Book Meme

This one comes from the Psalmist via Red Heeler Ranch. This is one that--depending on circumstances--could be either edifying, bewildering, or just plain silly.

Pick up the nearest book of 123 pages or more. (No cheating!)

Well, the closest pile of books, with the one on top is one I bought for going to the Shalem Residential term: Entering Teresa of Avila's Interior Castle by Gillian T. W. Ahlgren.

Find Page 123.

Find the first 5 sentences.
(The author quotes Teresa of Avila and describes her as lamenting the human tendency to ignore the divine within. You will see below how the author writes LONG sentences.)

Post the next 3 sentences.
"Without denying that Teresa play a significant (and intentional) role in the Catholic Counter-Reformation and that a Catholic interpretive system guided her understanding of human life, the fact that she identified the interior depths of the human person as the primary sphere of human-divine intimate creativity suggests that her insights contribute to a deeper sense of what it is to be human, not merely what it means to be Christian or Catholic. Thus, although Teresa clearly felt that Christian theology offered the best framework for her to understand and express the human-divine relationship, it is not clear that her theological system, as explicitly Christian as it is, is unable to enter a larger interreligious dialogue about the nature of the self, especially the self and the self-beyond-self as points of entry into human-divine relationality or ultimate reality.

"This leads to the corollary to Teresa's major premise, that understanding the self is a theological project requiring some forms of theological language."


Tag 5 people.
I tag Garlic/Salt, Fran, Jiff, Garten, and The Crimson Rambler.

Micah Challenge Prayers for MDG's


This is from the Micah Challenge, a global Christian campaign to achieve the MDGs. Part of their mission is a weekly prayer emailing like the one you see below. You can receive it in your email box every week if you send a blank email to regine.nagel@micahchallenge.org with the words 'subscribe prayer' in the subject line.

Micah Challenge International

Micah Challenge USA

"If it was not for the women, you wouldn’t have a church."

This bold statement is made by Nyambura J Njoroge in the Africa Bible Commentary on the role of women in the church.
‘There can be no denying that women and men are created equal in the image of God. Thus we must not focus on the gender roles that society, church and African cultures have assigned to women. The focus should fall on the biblical call for all human beings to discern what is the will of God in their lives.’
Please reflect on Romans 12:1-8 where the apostle Paul urges both brothers and sisters to be available to God as an act of worship.
‘Women have a critical and prophetic role to play in ‘stirring the waters’ and ‘speaking the truth’ by asserting their God-given humanity and gifts – not for their own sake but for the sake of the integrity of the gospel.’
Prayer

Let us pray:

* Nyambura J Njoroge says: ‘Women still face a daunting task in advocating and modelling gender justice in the church and in society.’ - Please pray for sensitivity and wisdom as women and men around the world boldly work towards achieving this task.

* Reflecting on the statistic below: we praise God for a closing of the gender gap in health and education. We pray that political and economic leaders will increase their efforts to decrease the gender gap in women’s economic participation and political empowerment.

* Micah Challenge coordinator in Bolivia, Roxana Villarroel, asks for prayer for the large number of poor families affected by climate change in the country. She writes:
We are expecting another year with bad news due to the Niña Phenomenon (a climatic phenomenon which causes the waters of the pacific ocean to become unusually cold and as a result produces storms; in recent decades this has been the cause of major climatic disasters) and thousands of families will be affected. A recently released government report has registered 13,883 families whose houses were damaged and at least 18 people have died.

This news must call us to reflect and to mobilize as, as so often, the affected people are those with little opportunity to protect themselves. As people of God we must learn to practice justice. Let us be sure that the church is there to act with love and compassion.

Please pray for our campaign plans this year and the challenges that we face. May God in his mercy help us to be faithful in the ministry.
* Micah Challenge Haiti is organizing a seminar on Integral Mission for all theological seminaries and bible schools in the country.

o Please pray that the participants will be enthusiastic to learn and be motivated to apply what they have learnt in the curricula of their colleges.

o Dr Elaine Storkey as she teaches the main sessions. Please pray for clarity and wisdom so that her teaching can be easily applied in the Haitian context.

Meditate on the Statistics

As you spend time in prayer and reflection, you may like to take a moment to silently understand with your heart the focus statistic we include each week (see below). Our hope is that you will find this series of statistics a useful resource in preparing presentations.

Goal 3: Promote gender equality and empower women

Indicator 10: Ratio of literate women to men, 15-24 years old
Indicator 11: Share of women in wage employment in the non-agricultural sector
Indicator 12: Proportion of seats held by women in national parliament

The global overview of the Gender gap ‘shows that the 128 countries covered, representing over 90% of the world’s population, are close to eliminating the gap between women and men’s health and education outcomes: almost 92% of the educational outcomes gap and 96% of the health outcomes gap has been closed. However the gap between women and men on economic participation and political empowerment remains wide: only 58% of the economic outcomes gap and only 14% of the political outcomes gap has been closed.’

Source: The Global Gender Gap Report 2007, World Economic Forum 2007

The Global Gender Gap Report 2007 is based on a new methodology and includes detailed profiles that provide insight into the economic, legal and social aspects of the gender gap in each country. The Report measures the size of the gender gap in four critical areas of inequality between men and women:

1) Economic participation and opportunity – outcomes on salaries, participation levels and access to high-skilled employment
2) Educational attainment – outcomes on access to basic and higher level education
3) Political empowerment – outcomes on representation in decision-making structures
4) Health and survival – outcomes on life expectancy and sex ratio


Yours in Christ,
Regine and MC team

Please view all the Friday Prayer statistics we’ve used to date at Index of Millennium Development Goal Statistics.xls

Please see Index of Reflections on Integral Mission.xls

WELCOME HOME, WYLD!


Welcome home, Wyld!

When I first started blogging in May 2007, I noticed these succinct and snazzy comments on RevGalBlogPals sites by someone named Wyldth!ng. What always intrigued me was the icon he used--the man in a bowler hat, which he does not use anymore.

the great war

Since my dad was a career Marine, I liked reading Wyld's reflections on the Marines and his time in Iraq. His honest sharing and questioning captured my attention.

I am very glad he is safely home. Thank you for serving, Wyld. And welcome back!

Shoo-Fly Cake Recipe

If you like molasses, you'll like this easy coffee cake!http://images.allrecipes.com/site/allrecipes/area/community/userphoto/small/38866.jpg

4 cups flour
2 1/3 cups packed light brown sugar (1 lb.)
1 cup (2 sticks) butter, cut into pieces, softened
2 cups boiling water
1 cup molasses
2 tsp. baking soda

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Grease a 13 x 9 inch baking pan.

2. In a bowl with an electric mixer on low speed, combine the flour, brown sugar, and butter. Work into fine crumbs.
Remove and reserve 1 1/2 cups of the crumbs for the topping.

3. In a small bowl, combine the boiling water, molasses, and baking soda; add to the mixing bowl and beat on medium speed until the batter is smooth and thin. Poor the batter into the prepared baking pan. Sprinkle the reserved crumbs over the top.

4. Bake the cake until a toothpick inserted in the center emerges clean, about 40 minutes.

5. Cool the cake to room temperature in the pan on a wire rack. Cut into big squares and serve directly from the pan.

Makes one 13 x 9 inch cake; serves 12-16.

Richard Sax. Classic Home Desserts. (out of print book)

Mystics

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"Mystics" (1924) by Xul Solar

"These are miniature structures that claim to signify the universe. As in Borges' stories, limitation and limitlessness vie for our attention. Xul's world is everywhere and nowhere; it is the symbol of the universe on a miniature plane." (by Lois Parkinson Zamora of the University of Houston)

Xul Solar was the adopted name of Oscar Agustín Alejandro Schulz Solari (1887-1963 ), Argentine painter, sculptor, writer and inventor of imaginary languages.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I look forward to going to the Shalem Residential time in MD next week, I am wondering which mystic I should do my final study on. Just as I have a strength known as "Input" (or gatherer) and have been stumped with what to choose for my master's scholarly papers, so I am in a similar position in choosing the mystic to study. I like each one I read about! I just have to narrow the search and CHOOSE--but that's hard for me!

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Friday Five: What Are You Doing for Lent?

Mother Laura brought this Friday Five to the RevGals this week.

1. Did you celebrate Mardi Gras and/or Ash Wednesday this week? How?

Since husband CB left on Ash Wednesday to fly to Washington to be with his father, who had successful heart valve replacement surgery today, I went to the evening Ash Wednesday service with daughter MJ. There was a feeling of unity with those there, as we pondered this beginning of Lent together and received ashes on our foreheads and then shared in the Eucharist. I felt very blessed to have MJ with me.

2. What was your most memorable Mardi Gras/Ash Wednesday/Lent?
I was reminded by the Ash Wednesday service why I returned to the Episcopal Church three years ago. During those Lent, Holy Week, and Easter services, I found my true home again in the liturgy, awe, and worship at All Saints Episcopal Church. I'd resisted rejoining, because I had not wanted to come for the charismatic priest, and finally during that time, I realized it was the experience of the Holy in the church that brought me there.

3. Did you/your church/your family celebrate Lent as a child? If not, when and how did you discover it?
No. See #2.

4. Are you more in the give-up camp, or the take-on camp, or somewhere in between?
I used to be in the give-up camp until I realized it was mostly a practice to lose weight. . . . So I think I'm somewhere in between.

5. How do you plan to keep Lent this year?
In my heart. I haven't decided what to give up or take on, but feel like I'm in the process. It is hard to express, but I know I am observing Lent in my attitude.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

God's Mercy

God’s mercy is greater than our sins. There is an awareness of sin that does not lead to God but rather to self-preoccupation. Our temptation is to be so impressed by our sins and our failings and so overwhelmed by our lack of generosity that we get stuck in paralyzing guilt. It is the guilt that says, ‘I am too sinful to deserve God’s mercy.’ It is the guilt that leads to introspection instead of directing our eyes to God. It is the guilt that has become an idol and therefore a form of pride.


Lent is a time to break down this idol and to direct our attention to our loving Lord. The question is: ‘Are we like Judas, who was so overcome by his sin that he could not believe in God’s mercy . . . or are we like Peter who returned to his Lord with repentance and cried bitterly for his sins?’ The season of Lent, during which winter and spring struggle with each other for dominance, helps us in a special way to cry out for God’s mercy.

-Henri Nouwen, A Cry For Mercy

This meant so much to me over at De Die In Diem that I had to post it.

Safe?

Today's Cartoon

Air Travel

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/opinion/ssi/images/Toles/c_08082007_520.gif

I am sure this is how husband CB feels, though he is stuck in the Houston terminal and not inside an airplane. He left our home at 4 am this morning for a 5:30 flight to Houston, which was delayed for three hours. He'd had a 2 hr. 45 min. layover originally scheduled for Houston, but he still missed his connecting flight to Seattle! So now poor CB is stuck in the Houston airport for the next five hours until he can get on the 2:30 flight to Seattle, which gets him there during RUSH HOUR at 5:30--IF all goes well. He's hoping (as we all are) that he'll get up to Bellingham before his dad goes to bed tonight, because the heart valve replacement surgery is tomorrow morning.

Rush Hour #010, rush hour traffic in the Seattle area, by Robert Demar, Photographer

In today's newspaper there was an article that stated that in 2007 more than 26% of U.S. flights were delayed or cancelled.

This makes me worry about next Monday, when I leave at 6 am for Baltimore for the Shalem Residential education and CB is scheduled to get back at 10 pm. And here is 18 year old MJ at home (after school and soccer practice). . . . The fear is logical, because the last flight to Corpus Christi by the two major carriers is often scrubbed, and I can imagine CB stuck in Houston, me in Maryland, and MJ in Corpus Christi. . . .

5 Minutes of Laughter!!

Take the time and LAUGH!!

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Mandalas

Thanks to Ellie at Meditation Matters, who always posts the most beautiful images, I've found a site that displays many artists' mandalas. I haven't had time to explore it yet, but there are numerous categories, subjects, colors to find art, plus education about manadalas! It's The Mandala Project. Here's one:

The artist is Sylvia Rubio from Mexico, who wrote that this was her first mandala! She submitted it to the site in 2002.

And here's one from Canada, by Shelaugh Dignam:


Spiritual Progress by Evelyn Underhill

"Do not entertain the notion that you ought to advance in your prayer. If you do, you will only find you have put on the brake instead of the acceleration. All real progress in spiritual things comes gently, imperceptibly, and is the work of God. Our crude efforts spoil it. Know yourself for the childish, limited and dependent soul you are. Remember that the only growth which matters happens without our knowledge and that trying to stretch ourselves is both dangerous and silly. Think of the Infinite Goodness, never of your own state."

Source: The Fruits of the Spirit

Go here to receive similar meditations in your inbox each day.

I constantly need this reminder! Look to the Source not at me.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Flying To and Fro

http://windowseat.travelocity.com/4%20airplane.JPG
Husband CB flies to Seattle on Wednesday and back on Monday; I fly to Baltimore on Monday.

CB's father is having open heart surgery in Bellingham, WA on Thursday morning, so CB is going up there to be with him. His dad will be in the hospital for at least five days and then CB flies home to TX on Monday(if all goes well), while I go to the opposite coast.

Prayers would be appreciated.

Let me tell you about my marvelous god

by Susan Stewart

Let me tell you about my marvelous god, how he hides in the hexagons
of the bees, how the drought that wrings its leather hands
above the world is of his making, as well as the rain in the quiet minutes
that leave only thoughts of rain.
An atom is working and working, an atom is working in deepest
night, then bursting like the farthest star; it is far
smaller than a pinprick, far smaller than a zero and it has no
will, no will toward us.
This is why the heart has paced and paced,
will pace and pace across the field where yarrow
was and now is dust. A leaf catches
in a bone. The burrow’s shut by a tumbled clod
and the roots, upturned, are hot to the touch.
How my god is a feathered and whirling thing; you will singe your arm
when you pluck him from the air,
when you pluck him from that sky
where grieving swirls, and you will burn again
throwing him back.


Susan Stewart, “Let me tell you about my marvelous god” from Columbarium (Chicago: The University of Chicago Press, 2003). Copyright © 2003 by the University of Chicago.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Transfiguration

Transfiguration by Pat Turlington

Separation is the Link

Separation by David Arthur Neri is the picture I could not manage to post here. Scroll down under the artist's picture on the right to find this painting. David Neri wrote this about his paintings:


"As an artist my work is based on my emotional and intuitive response to the subject matter--much of which is taken from memory and imagination. When I paint, I view the painting in terms of color and form. Structurally, the scene, though loosely tied to reality, becomes idealized rather than representational. The painting thus becomes a metaphor using strong color combinations which are intended to evoke an emotional response in the viewer. My goal is to create paintings which speak to the viewer on a deeply personal level of those timeless places within each of us."

Lately, my mantra has been "The Separation is the LINK."
Remember that the hiddenness, the obstacle, the alone-ness is God.
I'm trying to remember this.

The Name Game

Many are doing this silly meme, but I last looked at Zorra's.

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME (first pet, current car): Inky Avalon

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME (fave ice cream flavor, favorite type of shoe): Vanilla Keen

3. YOUR NATIVE AMERICAN NAME (favorite color, favorite animal): Green Cocker

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME (middle name, city where you were born): Anne Bremerton

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (the first three letters of your last name, first two of your first name): Hilja

6. SUPERHERO NAME (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Blue Tab

7. NASCAR NAME (the first names of your grandfathers): John George

8. STRIPPER NAME ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy): Rose Chocolate

9. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME (your fifth grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter): Nowell Newark

10. SPY NAME (your favorite season/holiday, flower): Fall Daffodil

11. CARTOON NAME (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now): Apple Jeans

12. HIPPIE NAME (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree): Crackers Oak

If you thought this was fun, feel free to play!

Fundamentalism in Islam

Yesterday I listened to Ronald Rolheiser give an excellent talk on Augustine. He repeated a quote from Kenneth Cragg twice to end the lecture. Of course, I wanted to find out whom this person was! However, I thought it was "Kenneth CRAIG" and so asked both MadPriest and Crimson Rambler about him when I could find nothing about this mistakenly named priest. I am grateful to MadPriest who wrote: "Perhaps you mean Bishop Kenneth Cragg who is a world renown Anglican scholar and expert on Islam. He's retired now. In fact, he must be in his mid 90s." This info led me to many more sources on google, especially an article from The Christian Century in 1999.

"Cross Meets Crescent: An Interview with Kenneth Craig" explores Christian and Islam ecumenism. I am posting the section of the article that addresses "fundamentalism" in the Islam faith.

What place does fundamentalism have within the full range of Islamic faith and practice?

This is difficult to discuss, because there is no equivalent for the word "fundamentalism" in Arabic. In one sense, Islam is inherently fundamentalist in that it understands the Qur'an to be a literal dictation to Muhammad of a book in heaven. His mental processes or personal preferences are not at all involved in the text of the Qur'an. It is simply the result of a mysterious process of inspiration or revelation that comes down upon him. The orthodox view (with which I don't agree) is that Muhammad was illiterate. That makes the text of the Qur'an all the more God's word, because it couldn't have come from Muhammad. The 13th-century mystic Jalal ed-Din Rumi gives a vivid image of Muhammad's role in transmitting the Qur'an: Muhammad is like a stone lion in a garden. Out of the lion's mouth comes a spout of water. Everyone knows that a cunning plumber has contrived a pipe to use as a conduit to conduct the water through the lion.

In Islam, the more something is of God, the less the human is needed. In contrast, the biblical view is that the more the divine is giving, the more the human is recruited. The biblical prophets are vivid personalities, not ciphers. Each has his own unique style and imagery.

But the Qur'an has been considered a literal scripture from the beginning. This is what accounts for the importance of calligraphy and recitation in Islam. One mustn't make a mistake in recitation, since one is repeating the very words of God. For most Christians, the New Testament is not that kind of writing. We see it as a book about what is antecedent to itself -- the person and work of Christ, the Word made flesh, teaching and suffering among us.

Though the Qur'an does need interpretation, Muslims don't approach it with the kind of almost overconfidence that sometimes marks Christian exegesis of the Bible. A Muslim once said to me, "You play fast and loose with your scripture." That is how Muslims react to our sense that we need to discern what the text could mean -- especially, for example, when we deal with the Gospel of John. We question whether we can accept the text as giving us the actual words of Jesus, as we think the parables do. Why do Jesus' words sound so different in the Fourth Gospel? What is John doing here? Those are legitimate questions for us, questions that are a part of the integrity of our faith. One Muslim has referred to "the liquidity of the Christian scriptures as you treat them." He says it's like the liquidity of capital -- we make it do what we want it to do.

Another factor is that Muslims understand Islam as the final religion, and Jesus as the next-to-last in a long succession of prophets. The Qur'an is the book that perfects and, if need be, corrects all previous revelation, going right back to Abraham. That gives Muslims an enormous sense of finality, which tends to preclude a will to be really critical or even investigative about what they believe.

The article gives this info about Kenneth Cragg:

Kenneth Cragg has been a major figure in Christian-Muslim conversations. He has spent some 45 years in the Middle East as professor of philosophy, as a chaplain, and as assistant bishop in the Anglican Archdiocese of Jerusalem. He has also taught at the University of Sussex in England. His published works include hundreds of scholarly articles and more than 30 books, most recently The Arab Christian and Palestine: The Prize and Price of Zion. Now in his 80s, Bishop Cragg still lectures at Oxford University and in Europe and the U.S. This interview appeared in The CHRISTIAN CENTURY, February 17, l999; copyright by the Christian Century Foundation and used by permission. This text was prepared for Religion Online by John C. Purdy.

Go here to read the rest of the article.

(What's funny is that Crimson Rambler also sent me a link to the same article I'd found! It's nice to have a resourceful blogging community!)

Also, here's a link to an article about Kenneth Cragg and his writings.


Saturday, February 2, 2008

Good article to read

Work That Is Real

by Kayla McClurg


The pitcher cries for water to carry
and a person for work that is real.
--- Marge Piercy

When my doctor told me, in that sudden crazy phone call at Thanksgiving, that I had an urgent heart problem and needed to get to the emergency room immediately, I went, but not before walking up and then back down a flight of 15 stairs to get a book. I realize now I actually risked death to keep from sitting in the ER for hours, maybe my last hours on this good earth, with nothing to do! In my bedroom, my 'third eye' knew this might be my last time there, and it noticed two things in particular: how topsy-turvy my closet was and how many things I own that haven't fulfilled their intended purpose....


Continue reading at inward/outward


Friday, February 1, 2008

Which Wife of Henry VIII are you?






Which of Henry VIII's wives are you?
this quiz was made by Lori Fury


Saw this over at Crimson Rambler's and had to try it.

Only in Texas. . . .

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I'll be driving to San Antonio tomorrow, and somewhere around there is this spot, though I've never seen it. I am going with my friend MB to hear Ronald Rolheiser speak on Augustine for the Christian Mysticism course.

Tonight is another soccer game, and it'll be cold--yes, especially for us way down here in south Texas! We'll be sitting on metal bleachers with the wind blowing, and it'll be in the low 50s F. That's a shock for us, especially since there was a record high temperature of 86 degrees F. just a few days ago.
~~~~~
MJ's team lost 3-1, but MJ assisted for her team's one goal.

U. S. Money


Thank you to Ellie at Child of Illusion!

This goes with the video in the post below.
If you haven't watched it, please do!