Give Us Compassion

Lord, have mercy. Have mercy on those in West, Texas who have had their world turned upside-down. Have mercy on those in Boston still struggling. Have mercy on those in Syria who are living in the midst of bombs and gunshots. Have mercy on those in North Korea who do not have enough to eat today. Have mercy on the 14.9 million children who have been orphaned by AIDS today. Have mercy, Lord Jesus. Have mercy. And in the midst of all of this, give us your heart. Give us the compassion that comes from You. Remind us that we ALL are in great need of your mercy, grace and love. Amen.

“Compassion- which means, literally, "to suffer with"- is the way to the truth that we are most ourselves, not when we differ from others, but when we are the same. Indeed the main spiritual question is not, "What difference do you make?" but "What do you have in common?" It is not "excelling" but "serving" that makes us most human. It is not proving ourselves to be better than others but confessing to be just like others that is the way to healing and reconciliation.”
― Henri J.M. Nouwen

From Renovare USA

If. . . . .

If we are to take risks,
to be free,
in the air,
in life,
we have to know
that when we come down from it all,
we're going to be caught,
we're going to be safe.
The great hero is the least visible.
Trust the catcher.

~~Henri Nouwen

Resurrection According to Nouwen

"The resurrection does not solve our problems about dying and death. It is not the happy ending to our life's struggle, nor is it the big surprise that God has kept in store for us. No, the resurrection is the expression of God's faithfulness to Jesus and to all God's children. Through the resurrection, God has said to Jesus, "You are indeed my beloved Son, and my love is everlasting," and to us God has said, "You indeed are my beloved children, and my love is everlasting." The resurrection is God's way of revealing to us that nothing that belongs to God will ever go to waste. What belongs to God will never get lost."

-- Henri Nouwen (1932-1996)

It was interesting to see the two different and unexpected reactions to this quotation today. When I used it for an initial meditation time in the Wisdom Class, everyone's reaction was quite positive, especially for one member whose wife died a year ago. (The Wisdom Class is a weekly book study--currently reading A Case for God by Karen Armstrong.)

When my EFM class was presented with it, it aroused criticism and discussion about "resurrection," which could have gone on and on. One member objected to the word "everlasting," saying she preferred "eternal." Another disliked the word "children" and concentration on Jesus. Someone else did not like the infantile ending where Nouwen writes that nothing will be lost in God. The discussion was very interesting and revealed a lot about each one of us, especially since this was the second to the last EFM class for this year (and more specifically, for seven members of the class who will "graduate").

I realize that I resist analyzing it, because I find the short quotation very comforting. When I think of my deceased parents, I like hearing that they are loved and not lost. As I grow more cognizant of my age and future demise, I take comfort from these words for myself. Plus, I liked that heaven is not viewed as a "reward."

This was another gem posted by Ellie at The Anchorhold. Please let me know if you know where Henri Nouwen wrote this, whether in a book or an article.

Lost on the Path

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again,
expecting different results.

That 12-step saying that "insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results" seems relevant to my feeling lost and stuck at the same time. Not knowing where to go has me not moving, which is a typical reaction, but not helpful. I am even finding it difficult to pray and sit with God.

And here is an interesting connection to all this from one of my Lenten readings:

Henri Nouwen writes:
". . . The descending way is a way that is concealed in each person's heart. But because it is so seldom walked on, it's often overgrown with weeds. Slowly but surely we have to clear the weeds, open the way, and set out on it unafraid.

"For me, this weeding out process is always related to prayer, because to pray is to make free time for God, even when you've very busy with important matters of one kind or another. Every time you make free time for God, you clear up a bit of the descending path, and you see where you can plant your feet on the way to love."

Nouwen, Henri J. M. Show Me the Way: Readings for Each Day of Lent. NY: Crossroad, 1994. 47.

So it is time to sit, perhaps followed by writing. . . . Then at 11 o'clock, there is the Lectio Divina group at FUMC, which will be a good place to be.

Letting Go of Our Fear of God

"We are afraid of emptiness. Spinoza speaks about our "horror vacui," our horrendous fear of vacancy. We like to occupy-fill up-every empty time and space. We want to be occupied. And if we are not occupied we easily become preoccupied; that is, we fill the empty spaces before we have even reached them. We fill them with our worries, saying, "But what if ..."

"It is very hard to allow emptiness to exist in our lives. Emptiness requires a willingness not to be in control, a willingness to let something new and unexpected happen. It requires trust, surrender, and openness to guidance. God wants to dwell in our emptiness. But as long as we are afraid of God and God's actions in our lives, it is unlikely that we will offer our emptiness to God. Let's pray that we can let go of our fear of God and embrace God as the source of all love."

~~Henri Nouwen

From the free daily message found at the Henri Nouwen webpage. Subscribe.

I really needed to read this today. I met with a teacher friend who is helping me "write" my thesis paper. Today CS guided me through the supposed introduction to the realization that I don't know what I am writing about! So I am in that emptiness again. . . .

Prayer according to Nouwen

"Prayer leads you to see new paths and to hear new melodies in the air. Prayer is the breath of your life which gives you freedom to go and stay where you wish and to find the many signs which point out the way to a new land. Praying is not simply some necessary compartment in the daily schedule of a Christian or a source of support in time of need, nor is it restricted to Sunday morning, or as a frame to surround mealtimes. Praying is living."

Henri Nouwen, With Open Hands, p. 157

Thanks to Roberta for this beautiful quote.

Our call

"So many terrible things happen every day that we start wondering whether the few things we do ourselves make any sense. When people are starving only a few thousand miles away, when wars are raging close to our borders, when countless people in our own cities have no homes to live in, our own activities look futile. Such considerations, however, can paralyse us and depress us.

"Here the word call becomes important. We are not called to save the world, solve all problems, and help all people. But we each have our own unique call, in our families, in our work, in our world. We have to keep asking God to help us see clearly what our call is and to give us the strength to live out that call with trust. Then we will discover that our faithfulness to a small task is the most healing response to the illnesses of our time."

~~Henri Nouwen

From the free daily message found at the Henri Nouwen webpage. Subscribe.

This is what I needed to read this morning as I muddle through my life.

Advent Begins

Advent begins on Sunday, which is tomorrow. I've loved reading reflections of fellow bloggers about Advent. So far these have stood out:

• Ruth's Anticipating Advent: Anglican prayer beads
  
• Fran's Advent. Calendar.: video of Rowan Williams talking about Advent
• Jennifer's Advent Beginnings: waiting and Gunilla Norris
• Jan Richardson's blog The Advent Door: Entering a Contemplative Christmas
  

Advent is a time of waiting. Henri Nouwen wrote a piece entitled "Waiting for God" in Watch for the Light: Readings for Advent and Christmas. Here are a few quotes about waiting that I need to ponder from his words:

"Waiting, as we see it in the people on the first pages of the Gospel, is waiting with a sense of promise. 'Zechariah, . . . . your wife Elizabeth is to bear you a son.' 'Mary, . . . .Listen! You are to conceive and bear a son' (Luke 1:13, 31). People who wait have received a promise that allows them to wait. They have received something that is at work in them, like a seed that has started to grow. This is very important. We can only really wait if what we are waiting for has already begun for us. So waiting is never a movement from nothing to something. It is always a movement from something to something more. Zechariah, Mary, and Elizabeth were living with a promise that nurtured them, that fed them, and that made them able to stay where they were. And in this way, the promise itself could grow in them and for them." (32-33)

"The secret of waiting is the faith that the seed has been planted, that something has begun. Active waiting means to be present fully to the moment, in the conviction that something is happening where you are and that you want to be present to it. A waiting person is someone who is present to the moment, who believes that this moment is the moment." (33)

"Simone Weil, a Jewish writer, said, 'Waiting patiently in expectation is the foundation of the spiritual life."(37)

The Death of Those We Love

Remember when my friend Joe died? His widow is a special friend of mine and today shared this beautiful quote from Henri Nouwen:

"The death of those we love and who love us opens up the possibility of a new, more radical communion, a new intimacy, a new belonging to each other. If love is stronger than death, then death has the potential to deepen and strengthen the bonds of love.

"It is only when we have died that our spirits can completely reveal themselves. The spirits of love, once freed from our mortal bodies, will blow where it will, even when few will hear its coming and going."

From Becoming the Beloved by Henri Nouwen

Road Crossing

"We become neighbors when we are willing to cross the road for one another. There is so much separation and segregation: between black people and white people, between gay people and straight people, between young people and old people, between sick people and healthy people, between prisoners and free people, between Jews and Gentiles, Muslims and Christians, Protestants and Catholics, Greek Catholics and Latin Catholics.

"There is s a lot of road crossing to do. We are all very busy in our own circles. We have our own people to go to and our own affairs to take care of. But if we could cross the road once in a while and pay attention to what is happening on the other side, we might indeed become neighbors."

~~Henri Nouwen

Copied from Roberta at Spiritually Directed.

Going Beyond Our Wants

"Sometimes we behave like children in a toy shop. We want this, and that, and then something else. The many options confuse us and create an enormous restlessness in us. When someone says, "Well, what do you want? You can have one thing. Make up your mind," we do not know what to choose.

"As long as our hearts keep vacillating among these many wants, we cannot move forward in life with inner peace and joy. That is why we need inner and outer disciplines, to go beyond these wants and discover our mission in life."
~~Henri Nouwen

From the free daily message found at the Henri Nouwen webpage. Subscribe.

This is what I needed to read this morning!

Deep Listening in a Group

I facilitate a book study called The Wisdom Class every Tuesday at All Saints Episcopal Church. Last week a member brought information about the listening practices of Quakers. He suggested that we wait 10-15 seconds between speakers. I was in a position where I could watch the second hand on the wall clock creep slowly along and realized how long a time period those seconds seemed. I'm not sure that we all waited that long between talking, but there was a definite difference in the way we were listening to each other during the two-hour meeting.

I reflected on the depth of listening during the past week, and was surprised to find a relevant meditation from Henri Nouwen this morning in my email box:

Listening as Spiritual Hospitality by Henri Nouwen

To listen is very hard, because it asks of us so much interior stability that we no longer need to prove ourselves by speeches, arguments, statements, or declarations. True listeners no longer have an inner need to make their presence known. They are free to receive, to welcome, to accept.

Listening is much more than allowing another to talk while waiting for a chance to respond. Listening is paying full attention to others and welcoming them into our very beings. The beauty of listening is that, those who are listened to start feeling accepted, start taking their words more seriously and discovering their own true selves. Listening is a form of spiritual hospitality by which you invite strangers to become friends, to get to know their inner selves more fully, and even to dare to be silent with you.

From the free daily message found at the Henri Nouwen webpage. Subscribe.

This also brings to mind the attentiveness needed in listening as displayed in Meister Eckhart's story of the burro-- Love Offers Freedom. Listening opens a space of freedom and acceptance.

Today we met again as The Wisdom Class and reflected upon last week's process. We agreed to try again to listen deeply to each other and agreed upon these guidelines:

1. What is said stays here.

2. Listen to what each person has to say:

Be open, sensitive, and tender to others.

3. Do not interrupt another speaker

4. Do not speak too often or too long;

allow silence between speakers.

5. Keep 10-15 seconds of silence between speakers.

6. Try to be aware that our desire to be present to each other is also our desire to be present to the Holy One.

It's going to take lots of practice!

The Basis for Our Security

"What is the basis of our security? When we start thinking about that question, we may give many answers: success, money, friends, property, popularity, family, connections, insurance, and so on. We may not always think that any of these forms the basis of our security, but our actions or feelings may tell us otherwise. When we start losing our money, our friends, or our popularity, our anxiety often reveals how deeply our sense of security is rooted in these things.

"A spiritual life is a life in which our security is based not in any created things, good as they may be, but in God, who is everlasting love. We probably will never be completely free from our attachment to the temporal world, but if we want to live in that world in a truly free way, we'd better not belong to it. "You cannot be the slave both of God and of money" (Luke 16:13)."

~~Henri Nouwen

From the free daily message found at the Henri Nouwen webpage. Subscribe.

This describes what was confirmed as my growing edge here at Shalem. Being a spiritual director is not about how good (or bad) I am, but about my trust in God as my security and ALL. God is the Source. Oh, to remember this each moment of my life!

So often in these days, Julian of Norwich has been quoted, which sums up spiritual direction and also life:

"I look at God; I look at you; I keep looking at God."

Building Inner Bridges

"Prayer is the bridge between our conscious and unconscious lives. Often there is a large abyss between our thoughts, words, and actions, and the many images that emerge in our daydreams and night dreams. To pray is to connect these two sides of our lives by going to the place where God dwells. Prayer is "soul work" because our souls are those sacred centers where all is one and where God is with us in the most intimate way.

"Thus, we must pray without ceasing so that we can become truly whole and holy."

~~Henri Nouwen
Henri Nouwen Society

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