Two new books today

I have two new books today; one bought at the church and one received from Amazon:

When a Congregation Is Betrayed: Responding to Clergy Misconduct which was edited by Beth Ann Gaede. I have only read the first few chapters, which are helping me to better understand the abuse of power that takes place when a priest/pastor has a sexual affair with a parishioner. There is a link on Amazon.com for another book that might be better than this one, though I am not sure that I need more than one book dealing with this subject: Understanding Clergy Misconduct in Religious Systems: Scapegoating, Family Secrets, and the Abuse of Power by Candace Benyei.

The other book I received in my mailbox is one written by Tobias Stanislas Haller, Vicar of Saints James Episcopal Church in Fordam, NY and fellow blogger at In a Godward Direction. I am excited to receive a copy of his newly published book Reasonable and Holy: Engaging Same-Sexuality.

Advice of My Hero

Brother Lawrence has always been a hero saint of mine. As stories and rumors circulate about our former priest, the woman involved, and even our new priest, I keep thinking of Brother Lawrence's advice about giving everything to God. I don't know the exact words, but this is how I remember his way of life in surrendering all to God:

• When I do something good, I thank God and give it to God.

• When I do something wrong, I ask for forgiveness from God and give it to God.

Only one side of the story is being told, which does not excuse a priest from crossing this professional, ethical, and spiritual boundary that resulted in his deposition. Too many people are suffering from those past actions, which continue to bear fruit in dissension, sorrow, and pain.

I dislike the various judgments that are being declared in different directions, and so for myself am trying to surrender all to God so that I will not be swayed by all the opinions circulating.

Brother Lawrence gives concrete advice for growing in awareness of God. By giving all my actions to God, I may avoid, or at least lessen, pride and shame--and increase my knowledge of my dependence upon the Holy One.

In great sadness

A certain brother came to Abbot Poemen and said: What ought I to do, father? I am in great sadness. The elder said to him: Never despise anybody, never condemn anybody, never speak evil of anyone, and the Lord will give you peace.

--Verba Seniorum [Words of the Elders], written in Greek about the early Christian hermits of the Middle East, translated into Latin in the mid-500s. From Wisdom of the Desert (pub.1960), tr. by Thomas Merton (1915-1968).

I am in great sadness, too, because we have officially been told at our church that our former priest, who had served for 17 years here, has renounced his orders in the Episcopal Church and has been deposed by the Bishop of Atlanta. A better writer than I eloquently described the situation on his blog.

It is a complicated story, which is still being revealed. I was privileged to hear the story this afternoon in a group setting. I am grieved to hear what went on. I am very sad. Even as I realize that this priest served our parish, community, and more specifically me in many healing, teaching, and preaching ways, I see that he was more flawed than we ever saw. He really helped me learn to trust men, and now I am wrestling with the contradictions of that connected to this.

This weekend starts the healing and full-disclosure. On Saturday our bishop will have a meeting with all the church that comes to the gathering, for questions, remarks, and any thing that arises. Another bishop will preach on Sunday.

Unfortunately (or maybe serendipitously), I will be not in attendance at any of these events. Tomorrow I am going to San Antonio to hear Richard Rohr and Joan Chittister speak. I am going with a friend, because on Saturday my husband has to pick me up so we can drive on to Austin for an afternoon wedding.