For daughter AE's birthday last week, I posted this picture on Facebook. I haven't looked at it for a long time, and it amazed me to see how young and thin Chuck and I were 33 years ago!

DC, Chuck, AE, and Jan 1982

Happy Birthday!

35 years ago, Chuck and I were overjoyed to have our first baby, DC and on a big learning curve to learn how to be the loving parents we wanted to be. Happy Birthday!

August 1981, DC in Bellingham, WA on Grandma and Grandpa's lounge chair.

We would go to Bellingham, WA every summer to visit our parents and experience the cool temperatures and beauty of the Pacific Northwest. It was also an opportunity for the children to play and explore in large parks with creeks and trees. Wonderful memories.

And how he looks today with Avery and Emma!

July 6, 2014: Avery, DC, and Emma

My Mother's Birthday

I always think of my mother on her birthday, April 24. She would have been 95 today if she had lived. It is funny to think that her birth certificate showed that she was born on April 23, 1919, but her birthday was always celebrated on April 24. My guess is that she was born around midnight, but at home, so there was no "official" time recorded.

She met my father while they were both stationed in Hawaii during WWII. They both served in the Marine Corps. Here is a picture of her taken in her uniform in December 1943. She was about the age of my youngest daughter (now), who is named after her.

32nd Birthday!

Chuck posted this picture of our oldest daughter AE on Facebook today to wish her a happy birthday. (He also said this is the first time he has ever posted on FB.) Today she is 32 and about half my age. (I was 31 in this picture.) It is nice to remember her birth today and appreciate her life as our daughter. Happy Birthday!

one-day-old daughter, born March 8, 1982 and her mom, Jan

Change in Perspective

This past Monday was my father-in-law's 88th birthday, which is truly amazing in my perspective because neither of my parents lived to be 80. The very next day was our youngest daughter MJ's 24th birthday.

Maybe because I spent all week last week in Austin helping and holding sweet little Emma and maybe because Emma looks a lot like MJ looked as a newborn and maybe because I always remember my baby's births on their birthdays. . . . BUT I realized that when my MJ was born 24 years ago, Chuck's dad was only 64. . . . THAT is my age (almost) now!

As a new parent, I did not think of our parents as being anything more than "parents" and "older" and now I am in that position. It is so weird for me to realize that I am the same age as Chuck's dad when MJ was born.

I am appreciating both sets of our parents much more now. It is interesting to see another perspective.

My Mother and Me

Here is a picture of my mother, Margaret Faith Cowling, with me taken in January 1981. She was then 62 years old, which is my age now. In the picture, I was half her age--31 years old and only had one of my four children at that time.

Today is my mother's birthday and will always be a day for remembering her, even though she died 20 years ago. She would have been 94 years old today, which might have been a possibility if she had not contracted pancreatic cancer. I have a few friends who have mothers still living at this age and older. Not many people live to be in their 90's with a high quality of life, even in the 21st century.

Happy Birthday to AE!

Today is my daughter AE's birthday! And I will get to spend all day with her as she is graciously taking the day off from work so I can see her before she and KA leave for Ohio tomorrow.

Nov. 5, 2012

MJ's 23rd birthday with me in Salt Lake City.

Too Many Books!

My good friend Nancy sent me this belated happy birthday card with this message in it:

"Now, if I could only remember where I put your present!"

I can totally identify with that statement, because I often put future gifts in "safe" places. I had a moment of panic last night when I started looking for daughter MJ's birthday presents, but fortunately found them. . . .after some looking and looking. 

Now those and clothes for colder weather are packed in my suitcase. I am going to visit MJ in Salt Lake City today! Her birthday is on Monday, and I will stay until Election Day. (That is why I voted early.)

In a little while, I will begin driving to San Antonio to the airport there.  Then I'll take two different planes to Salt Lake City via Southwest Airlines. I arrive at almost 11 pm so that MJ is able to meet me after the organic chemistry lab she TA's.

Birthdays are fun. I am glad I'll be with MJ for hers. Plus, I really like the birthday card I received in the mail today!

October 25

I found this on Facebook today and thought it was funny. It added to a very happy birthday for me today. FB brings wishes from so many people, far and wide.

I started the day off by voting at an early voting locale. It took a long time, but oddly I learned that the man in front of me graduated from high school the same year Chuck and I did--1968--but he lived in Corpus Christi. When I told him I'd graduated in Washington, he asked me where in WA? When I told him "Bellingham," he told me he had just moved back to TX from there. Such an odd connection with a stranger in the line to vote. . . . I am glad I have voted, especially as I will be on a plane back from Salt Lake City to San Antonio on election day.

I love cards, and I got nice cards from many friends. BEST of ALL, I received cards from three of my four children. Friends surprised me by stopping by with little gifts.

And my two oldest children mentioned me on their blogs:

Oldest son DC put a picture of Avery up and oldest daughter AE posted a recipe for applesauce muffins.

  And I realized that I am the age my mother was when my second child (AE) was born in 1982. I like to picture her at the same age, though I realize at the time I thought she was older than I feel now. My perspective has definitely changed.

And for the rest of you, this is notice that it is two months until Christmas. Growing up, I always knew that on my birthday, Christmas was two months away.

Remembering

Until he died in 2002, my dad called me every year on Flag Day to remind me that it was his mother's birthday. I always knew that. When he used to call, I would find it irritating.

Now, in retrospect, I miss him calling to remind me. His irritating habits seem much sweeter to me now as I remember him.

In ten days, it will be my father's birthday. He would have been 89 years old on June 24. Sadly, I don't know how old my grandmother would be today, except that it would be a greater age than one would expect for living.

It is odd how birth dates stay in our memory banks. I always remember my parents' and this one grandparent's birthdays.

After me, who will remember them?

Perhaps they will be thought of at times, but not on these dates. Photos will help jog memories and stories will, too. Maybe I can grow into a better story-teller for my children and future grandchildren.

Memories

Today, April 24, is a day that holds many memories for me. Since it was my mother's birthday, I always remember her; in fact, this day causes me to recall more events than for just this day, because she died in 1992 when she was 73.

With my mother's wise, curious and creative personality, I had a wonderful parent and more of a friend as I became an adult. We were very close, partly because I was her only child. My love of learning, love for books and baking are from her.

When my mother was dying of pancreatic cancer in the summer of 1992, we celebrated our oldest son DC's 13th birthday up in Bellingham. DC acted disappointed with his birthday, which is perfectly understandable for an adolescent boy to feel with no friends around and far away from his home. I have felt sad for his disappointment for these past 20 years, and then today I described that birthday to him over the phone--AND DC does not remember that birthday at all! I am relieved that he hasn't harbored regret or resentment over the years.

This makes me notice how we remember events with higher emotional content than ordinary, everyday occurrences. I just read that either great joy or grief cause impressions on our memories.

• Emotionally charged events are remembered better
• Pleasant emotions are usually remembered better than unpleasant ones
• Positive memories contain more contextual details (which in turn, helps memory)
• Strong emotion can impair memory for less emotional events and information experienced at the same time
• It's the emotional arousal, not the importance of the information, that helps memory
• Found at Mempowered: Powering Your Memory and Mind.

I am glad that DC did not carry emotionally charged memories for his 13th birthday. I obviously did, but they helped me to remember that day more clearly. That is a benefit now, so many years later. Plus, now the memory will also be colored with gratitude.

I have always liked to remember birthdays. Just today I was wishing I knew someone else with my mother's birthday, but I didn't until I looked at Facebook! FB "reminded" me of a young woman's birthday today, which I will treasure from now on. She is the wife of DC's best friend growing up. His best friend knew my mother, too, so this is a dear connection.

April 24 is a good and special day for me, for which I am glad.

Happy Birthday to my Oldest Daughter

30 years ago today my wonderfully talented oldest daughter AE was born. Her father and I like to remember the dramatic story of her birth, which she tires of hearing about. She abruptly emerged when only my husband and I were in the birthing room! He yelled for help, saying,"The baby is coming!" Of course, we didn't know until her birth that AE was a girl. I cried when I called my parents to tell them that I had a baby girl, because I was so glad. Good memories.

The cocker spaniel is in honor of AE, too, because she and KA have Morgan, a cute and pretty cocker spaniel. Almost 16 years ago, AE surprised me with a little blonde cocker spaniel puppy, who is now a surprisingly contented elderly dog who is both blind and deaf.

Avery's First Birthday!

Mommy AA singing "Happy Birthday" to Avery

TODAY is Avery's first birthday, but her birthday PARTY was this past Saturday. It was lots of fun for all the adults. Avery happily crawled among all the people.

Today she is one year old. Avery will have her one-year-checkup with the doctor and get her shots. Her daddy (my son) told me that she is starting to recognize the place or the nurse where she gets shots. . . . We can tell that her brain is developing--she is remembering people, places, and things.

We celebrate with joy Avery's birth!

Happy Birthday to MJ!!

Today is MJ's birthday! As I remember her birth 22 years ago, I will be helping in the program for Russian Methodist clergy and laity in Vologda.

6 month old MJ

Happy Birthday, dear daughter!

Birthday Pictures!

No pictures were taken on my birthday, but some were taken in San Antonio yesterday when I was with my oldest and youngest children and my only grandchild! I felt like my birthday celebration continued with them.

MJ, DC and Avery

We went to lunch at The Cove restaurant ("burgers with conscience"), where I had wonderful fish tacos. As we got up to leave, we noticed that DC and MJ had greenish stains on their shirts, oddly similar. Then DC looked at Avery's bottom and realized that something had oozed out! The shade of green was strangely familiar to what she had just eaten--avocado plus zucchini-broccoli medley (for future eliminations).

Jan, MJ and Avery
(I don't close my eyes outside, with no camera flash.)

We spent some time at Trinity University before DC and Avery drove back to Austin. Then I got to spend the rest of the day with MJ, ending with dinner at one of my favorite restaurants in San Antonio, Twin Sisters, which was first opened in 1981 by twin sisters. My dinner of butternut squash/cheese enchiladas topped with green chili sauce was memorable! So good that I may try to duplicate the recipe.

DC and Avery

MJ and Avery

After dinner, I left MJ with her homework and drove 2 1/2 hours back to Corpus Christi.

Ten years ago I was driving to and from San Antonio once to twice every week while I was take classes at Oblate School of Theology. I did that for 6-7 years and am really glad I am not doing that now. I loved the instruction and learning, but I would not like to drive so much a decade later.

Happiness!

I am so happy! Tonight I found out who the family is that will host me for five days in Vologda, Russia--a young couple with boys who are 3 and 6 years old. I'd been worrying about who would have me, and instead I am thrilled to be with this family where the parents are about the ages of my oldest son and his wife. I am so excited about being with those two little boys and their parents!

Other things making me happy:

My birthday is tomorrow. I love birthdays. My husband CB is going to bake me his traditionally wonderful cheesecake. Since he has to teach his chemistry for nursing students class in the early evening, I am going to have dinner with my first friend in Corpus Christi, Lisa.

Then on Wednesday I am driving to San Antonio to visit with MJ before my big trip to Russia. She has a two-hour break for lunch between classes, so there is time for us to go out. AND what is even more fun, big brother DC and baby Avery are going to join us!

There's lots to be happy about!

Friday Five: The Things We Do for Love

Songbird brings today's Friday Five for RevGalBlogPals:

And although love looks different depending on how we best express it, there are definitely things we do for love. So for today's Friday Five, please share the following five things:

1) Something you did for love that was a hit
CB and I went to Seattle for our good friend Dennis' surgery when he had half his liver removed due to cancer. Going blessed our friendship on both sides.

2) Something you did for love that was more of a miss
When my second child AE was an angry adolescent, I insisted upon baking her a birthday cake from scratch every year, because that's what I always did for each of my children. She did not want to observe/celebrate her birthday at all, so I did not give her her wish. I don't think I realized the full extent of her resentment about this until this year when we spoke of birthdays.

I hope that she can see now the love I tried to show her back then by doing this. I am sad that I did not honor her as she wished; I am not sure if I could give that up even now as I love birthdays!

3) Something someone did for love of you
My children and husband surprised me on both my 50th and 60th birthdays by showing up when and where I least expected!

For my 50th, I was in San Antonio taking an evening class at Oblate School of Theology. Daughter AE took me out to dinner before it at La Madeleine's, and suddenly all my children were there! DC drove there from College Station where he was a student at A &M, and husband CB got BJ and MJ out of school early to get them to San Antonio in time. Also, because CB bakes me a cheesecake every year, he'd ordered one to be served at La Madeleine's.

For my 60th, I wanted to have dinner at the Eastside Cafe in Austin, one of my favorite restaurants. I was blown away by daughters AE and KA arriving from Seattle just for 24 hours to be with me! (Their dad planned it all.)

4) Something you *wish* someone would do for love of you
I wish all my children would occasionally send me cards or write notes that they send by U. S. mail. (AE does this already!)

5) Something you've done for love of God
I hope God continues to grow me into doing more and more activities for/through God's love.

Friday Five: Birthdays

April is a month of family birthdays for me: Today is my mother-in-law's 80th birthday and on Sunday my third child's 26th birthday, so I am thinking about birthdays. Easter would have been my mother's 93rd birthday, but she died when she was only 72 years old.

I love to celebrate birthdays, but I know others don't like to as much. My second child doesn't care about birthdays that much.

How about you? What do you think of birthdays?

1. What are your feelings about celebrating birthdays, especially your own?
I LOVE birthdays. I love preparing for them, especially food and presents and/or cards.

2. Do you have any family traditions about birthdays?
Food plays a large part in our family traditions:

• Husband CB has made me a birthday cake every year since he was in graduate school at Oregon State University in the 1970's--the best cheesecake I have ever eaten; the recipe is here.

• Ever since 1980, I have made my friend Lisa's birthday cake every year--a carrot cake. I started because I was so disappointed to find out that her husband gave her a watermelon that year for her birthday (though now I know that Lisa loves watermelon, too).

• When I had my four children at home, each one could choose breakfast and dinner menus for birthdays, as well as which cake would be baked. Oldest son, DC, always made the most complicated requests--different recipes for the cake, the filling, and the icing!
  

3. Is it easy to remember friends' and family members' birthdays? If so, how do you do it?
It is important for me to remember people's birthdays. Every New Year, I write the names of friends and family on their special dates of my new calendar. It's also easy now that FB posts friends' birthdays.

4. What was one of your favorite birthdays? (or your unhappiest?)
For my ninth birthday, while my dad was stationed at Camp Pendleton, CA, my parents took me to Disneyland for the first time.

My mother planned a surprise birthday party for my 10th birthday, but I was at my best friend's house when she received the invitation. I still remember looking over her shoulder as she read the instructions of "keep the secret." AND I kept that secret all my life, never telling my mother I was not surprised.

5. Post anything else you want to share about birthdays, including favorite foods, songs, and/or pictures.

Uncle BJ and 4 1/2 month old Avery

This Sunday is BJ's birthday. While husband CB is in Seattle visiting his mother for her 80th birthday, I am going to drive to Houston for BJ's birthday.

2011 calendars

I love wall-hanging calendars. I usually have three--in the kitchen, in the laundry room, and in my office. In past years I usually got calendars with pictures of trees. This year I have Asian and Inuit art calendars, plus a Book Lovers one.

When I was in junior high school in Japan, I started writing friends' birthdays on the appropriate calendar boxes on New Year's Day. That tradition continued until a few years ago when I started writing the names on their corresponding spots a few days earlier--at the end of the previous year.

I spent 1+ hours doing this tonight, while CB was at choir practice and MJ was out to dinner with a friend. I really enjoyed doing this, loving each person as I wrote his/her name down. It was fun to write "Avery is 1!" on Nov. 22, 2011. (I only specify ages for my children and grandchild.)

Now that Facebook announces friends' birthdays, this hand-dating is not so necessary, but I like to do it. Besides, not all my friends are on FB.

I know I have forgotten some blogging friends' birthdays, because the only one I wrote on calendars tonight was "Catherine W." who intermittently blogs at Come to the Table. Email me if you want to remind me of your birthday, and I will be delighted to write your name on my calendar.