Back in Bellingham

We spent four days in Seattle, visiting our daughters AE and KA and friends Terry and Dennis. AE took our picture this day when we ate lunch inside a greenhouse at Swanson's Nursery, near her home in Ballard.

Unfortunately, when we got to Seattle on Saturday, I thought I was having a huge allergy attack which ended up being a cold. (I was relieved that I wasn't allergic to Washington State, though having a cold to share was not that appealing.) So far both daughters AE and KA have caught this cold and possibly husband CB.

The weather is beautiful, with sunny days and high temperatures in the 70s F, both in Seattle and now back in Bellingham. Tonight we will walk around Boulevard Park, which was a traditional activity to do around sunset ever since the children were little and my mother was still with us.

As we drove to Seattle on Saturday, I heard the news that a dear friend, Susan Chaubal, died in her sleep. It was a great shock and is sad. I have many regrets, because I had not made time for her this past year, mostly because of my preoccupation with my health. Even so Susan encouraged me greatly to get a better diagnosis when it was not determined yet that I had RA.

Please pray for her husband Milind and daughter Anjulie.

Last Day in Bellingham

I have not lived in Bellingham since 1972, but with visits back here every summer, I find that I remember most of the roads, though things have changed. Bellingham is a more prosperous looking city: little houses have been remodeled and enlarged; new houses are often gigantic. (I always wonder who cleans all those rooms??)

It is a wonderful place to live, so why aren't CB and I in my parents' house instead of renting it? It is the only steady home I had until we bought our first house in TX in 1979, so it is precious to me.

We stayed in TX because MJ had to graduate from high school two years ago, and now we seem to be waiting until she finishes college. Another magnet for staying in TX is that our first grandchild will be born in November and will be living in Austin. That is a four-hour drive from Corpus Christi, which is easily do-able. Three of our four children live in Texas, but one (AE) lives in Seattle. The other reasons are listed in the recent Friday Five.

This visit re-acquainted me with my sister-in-law CH, and I would love to have time and opportunities to get to know her better. Her kindness, authenticity, and intelligence stand out to me now. I was also touched that she is the only one in CB's family to ask if it is difficult being an "orphan" (It is sometimes, when I'm around so many of CB's family and realize I have no parents, siblings, and other relatives. BUT I do have children, their partners, a husband and a soon-to-be-born grandchild). Still, I appreciated CH noticing that very much. It does not have to happen again, but I needed that acknowledgement somehow.

Tomorrow we go to Seattle to be with daughters AE and KA as well as friends Terry and Dennis. These are the friends who drove their two vehicles up to Bellingham on Saturday, so we could have the use of one of them! My children view Terry and Dennis as their aunt and uncle, so that's more family!

By next week we'll be back home in hot, humid Corpus Christi, TX. We still have to decide what we will do with my parents house in Bellingham. . . .Someday we have to make a decision.

Bellingham on the last day of July

Today has been a serene and quiet day at CB's parents' home in Bellingham, WA. I woke up early and went to Weight Watchers to face the truth of my vacation eating (+) and then walked around Lake Padden (3.5 miles). I am pleased that I don't have to stop and catch my breath going up one of the long ascending hills, as I found necessary in past years. I walked around Lake Padden for the first time after my mother's funeral in 1992, when CB took me there for a quiet reprieve. It has been special to me ever since then.

We went to my parents' old home, the only "home" I ever had growing up, since we moved to different base housing every few years when my dad was transferred by the Marine Corps. Since my father died in 2002, we have rented the house. We were fortunate with our first renters who stayed for six years. The last one was a con man and a suspected drug dealer who was finally evicted this past month. He left the garage full of garbage crawling with maggots.

CB's sister and her son have been cleaning and fixing up the house. They had to replace the floor and tub in the main bathroom. The house looked much better; I feel fortunate that CB's family is taking care of it. It is in much better shape since CB's sister started managing the property instead of a property management company.

As CB, his sister and his nephew looked around the house and discussed what was to be done, I wandered around the house. It was bittersweet, as I remembered my parents there. I sat for a long time in the basement, remembering how baby MJ and I slept down there while my mother was dying of cancer. (She died of pancreatic cancer only 42 days after diagnosis.)

In contrast to my lack of siblings, aunts and uncles, there will be a large gathering of CB's family tomorrow. He has two sisters and one brother, so they and their families will be here. And daughers AE, KA, and MJ will drive up from Seattle with their cute little cocker spaniel Morgan! (MJ flew from TX to Seattle today.) It will be a busy day, but I am hoping to walk around Lake Padden before people start arriving.

And here are a few posts about prayer that I highly recommend, especially as I was excited to find the time to visit some of my blogging friends today:

• Katherine E. posts about Eckhart Tolle and the present moment of spaciousness.

and

• Mike Marsh writes about prayer and the question: "How is your prayer?"

Bellingham, WA in fun and sadness

With recent trips to Seattle, where I am again, and Canada, my blogging has been infrequent, and my visits to other blogs even less. Suddenly I am learning that Fran and Jaliya are taking breaks, and I wonder who else. . . . as I seem to be doing the same.

We had a busy three days in Seattle, doing lots of sightseeing and even saw a play on Capital Hill where the daughter of one of my oldest friends was the star. It was good to see Dennis getting a little more active, though he still gets fatigued easily. My kids had two long, long visits with him on Friday and Saturday, which seemed to energize and tire him at the same time. I'm so glad they love him and Terry.

Now we're at CB's parents' house in Bellingham, WA. Today is the summer family barbecue and reunion of all CB's siblings and their children. One great-grandchild is coming; she's one year old. CB has two sisters and one brother, so this is a large clan gathering. We bring nine, counting MJ's boy friend CS. Approximately 25 will be here.

After a dinner at Chuck's sister's house last night, I was suddenly and unexpectedly struck with grief, having none of my own family around at all. Since I was an only child, my dad was an only child, and my mother had just one sister, I have no family left in Bellingham. (You may recall that I have a distant cousin Margaret in Calgary, Canada.)

I am sad that my children's partners will only know CB's family, hearing stories of their past. Yes, I can tell a few tales of my family, but the children are not seeing the places or anyone else remembering them, like CB's siblings. It's just the way it is. This is reality, which I am re-learning to accept. . . .and am surprised that I have this to do all over again.

Friday Five: Moving and Changing

Sally at RevGalBlogPals writes:


ALL IS CHANGE.... and although I am looking forward to it, it is not without a sense of trepidation, as change always brings challenges.

Changing location also means packing, so next month will be a month of clearing and sorting, deciding what comes and what gets left behind...

So with change in mind I offer you this Friday five; ( if you've never moved here's a chance to use your imagination)

1. A big move is looming, name one thing that you could not possibly part with, it must be packed ?
Now that we have no children living with us, I'd have to bring along our pets: Baillie, our old cocker spaniel; Cisco, CB's mixed shepherd; and Gracie, the furry queen cat.

2. Name one thing that you would gladly leave behind...
The HEAT/humidity of south TX.

3. How do you prepare for a move
a. practically?
Clean out and get rid of.

Having lived in the same house for the past 15 years has us packed to the gills. Moving motivates me to sort and clean out.

b. spiritually/ emotionally?
I'd check with Shalem for spiritual directors in the new area, so maybe I'd have possibilities for friends there. I have met wonderful people here, who were directed through Shalem.

Keep addresses in my address book. Try to see friends as much as possible before leaving.
I have lived here in Corpus Christi longer than I have in any other place in my life (since I grew up with a dad in the Marine Corps), and so it would be difficult to part from this "home," even though it's always too hot.

4. What is the first thing you look for in a new place?

This is what our moves usually looked like:

When we moved so much when we had children, I would always seek out the La Leche League leaders and groups, plus the local library.

Now I would seek out spiritual friends, probably first through Shalem's directory.

5. Do you settle in easily, or does it take time for you to find your feet in a new location?
One would think that moving so frequently both as a child and as a young mother, I would have gotten used to relocating. However, it has always been difficult for me to move, probably because I am an introvert.

The hardest move of all was from RI to NJ when my mother had just died. When we moved, the children (except for 2 year old MJ) were in school and CB was immediately at work, and I was alone with MJ. Thankfully, I had her.

The bonus for today; a new opportunity has come up for you to spend 5 years in a new area, where would you go and why?
This is a revelation to me.

I have been worrying about whether we should move to Bellingham, WA, where I still own (and rent out) my parents' home, but friends and three of our children living in TX hold me here. A move doesn't have to be permanent, except it seems that way with all our junk. So getting rid of stuff would bring freedom of movement, also.This is a map of Bellingham. Find Lakeway Drive and then see Puget Street--my parents' old home is about the middle of the word "Puget." CB's parents live past Yew Street on Lakeway Drive.This is a good view of Western Washington University (formerly WWSC, from which CB and I graduated) and Sehome Hill. The hill behind Sehome Hill is where my parents' house is.