Now I Become Myself

My friend Louise pointed me to this poem by May Sarton:

Now I Become Myself

Now I become myself. It's taken
Time, many years and places;
I have been dissolved and shaken,
Worn other people's faces,
Run madly, as if Time were there,
Terribly old, crying a warning,
"Hurry, you will be dead before--"
(What? Before you reach the morning?
Or the end of the poem is clear?
Or love safe in the walled city?)
Now to stand still, to be here,
Feel my own weight and density!
The black shadow on the paper
Is my hand; the shadow of a word
As thought shapes the shaper
Falls heavy on the page, is heard.
All fuses now, falls into place
From wish to action, word to silence,
My work, my love, my time, my face
Gathered into one intense
Gesture of growing like a plant.
As slowly as the ripening fruit
Fertile, detached, and always spent,
Falls but does not exhaust the root,
So all the poem is, can give,
Grows in me to become the song,
Made so and rooted by love.
Now there is time and Time is young.
O, in this single hour I live
All of myself and do not move.
I, the pursued, who madly ran,
Stand still, stand still, and stop the sun!

May Sarton

May Sarton

May Sarton
1912-1995

Recently I read two books by May Sarton: The Magnificent Spinster and The Education of Harriet Hatfield. Although I knew the author's name, I had never read any of her books before. I first read The Magnificent Spinster, which is about a woman's life from childhood to her death as written by a former student. This was a woman who remained single all her life, but who had a zest for living that inspired and nurtured many around her. It is what I assume a "novel of manners" is like. It is a good story, without excitement and intrigue.

I coincidentally found The Education of Harriet Hatfield at Half-Price Books. It struck me because it was about a 60 year old woman (which is my age) who opens a bookstore for women after her partner of 30 years died. It is the story of her "growing up." There is more drama in this story than the first one.

Both books give positive attention to lesbian partnerships, which got me interested in finding out more about May Sarton, especially since she was born in 1912. She lived with a partner for 13 years and evidently wrote about their relationship in Honey in the Hive, which I have not yet read.

The Unitarian Universalist Association has an interesting article about her:

"Mrs. Stevens Hears the Mermaids Singing, 1965, is often referred to as Sarton's "coming out" novel and one she admits she could not have written while her parents were alive. With its reissue in 1974, to which Carolyn Heilbrun contributed an important introduction, Sarton's work gained academic recognition, especially by feminist critics. Subsequently her work began to be studied in literature classes and college women's studies programs. Although she appreciated the recognition, Sarton believed that the label "lesbian writer" might limit and distort perception of her work. She wanted to be read as a writer who dealt with themes of universal interest. She had, in fact, already written novels about family and married life. "

What an interesting woman. I am sure libraries have many of her books, as she started writing in the 1930's.