Take a Leap!

I took a leap this morning and went back to the deep water exercise class at the YWCA. I haven't been there since I hurt my shoulder in November. The water was cold but refreshing, because the water heater was broken. (Too often the temperature was too high for me though.)

I am grateful that both my doctor and physical therapist urged me to return. It was a little scary to go back after so much time and my physical pains, but it was a good thing to do.

What will you leap into today? (It can be a little hop.)

STOP, Look and Listen!

 

My physical therapist told me I had a "stop sign" placed in my life to pay attention to when I hurriedly and obliviously tried to walk through the kitchen door last week holding stuff along with my exercise stick (a former broom stick!) sideways--couldn't get through and was jolted to stop. (Duh!) I had been feeling so almost-normal that day, getting back into the busy routine of washing clothes and even trying to clean. I was more busy than paying attention.

That was a mistake, because I hurt some muscles in my shoulder, so much so that that night I had to keep putting ice on it. Luckily, I saw my physical therapist the next day (last Friday) and she carefully and minutely checked the various muscles to see what I'd hurt, while also seeing if I'd damaged my healing shoulder. Luckily, I hurt other muscles than the one that was re-attached to the bone in the surgery .

However, the muscles have remained sore and are hindering my progress in recovery and in my participating in all the PT exercises needed to strengthen all those muscles for moving my arm up, down, and around. If I can ever move my right arm behind me up beyond my butt, I will be greatly pleased. 

Pam, my physical therapist, told me that I need to remember I am fragile and am still healing. I guess this mishap reinforced that image, especially with me getting to see my 15 month old granddaughter this weekend--I canNOT lift Avery or carry her with my right arm, my usual method of holding her.

This was definitely a reminder to be more mindful of my activities. Pay attention! So I was really helped by the meditation I am copying below.



Ellie at Does Not Wisdom Call had this pertinent post about hurrying:

Artist: Margret Hofheinz-Döring

Image from Wikimedia Commons

Hmmm. Has anybody ever thought of giving up hurry for Lent?

"To be impatient is to be hooked on the future."

— Gerald Jampolsky

All of the great spiritual teachers I've ever studied have emphasized the importance and, indeed, the holiness of the present moment. May I suggest that we use whatever Lenten discipline we may have chosen as a way of helping us be truly mindful of the here and now.

Yearning for God?

This isn't the entire cartoon, but it has the kicker about "Yearning for God!" I got it from Blue Eyed Ennis. She found it here.

Whispers

A Blessing for the Journey of Seeking God
When your soul whispers of its deepest longings,
may you quiet yourself to listen.
May you follow the path of yearning to the One alone
who blends the uneven edges into a life of meaning.
May you meet and be united with God
and give thanks for the whispers
that led you there.

From Lenten Blessings on ExploreFaith.org

Black and White Photo of Avery

My son DC took this cute picture with his Iphone with some program called "instagram." I like its old-fashioned appeal.

We are going to visit them next weekend. I hope Avery won't be shy around Nana and Grandpa, because we have not seen her since Christmas. Two months is a long time for a one-year-old!

Learning

By Kristin Noelle

Always a Beginner

By Paul Bommer

I am reminded that many spiritual masters, including Thomas Merton, remind us that we are always beginners. That helped me to make my commitment for Lent--to meditate for 20 minutes upon rising each morning.

That had been a regular discipline for the past few years, even while I visited my daughter MJ in Spain. However, the trip to Russia in November where I injured my right shoulder brought forth a disruption from that schedule that seemed difficult for me to circumvent. During all that time of pain, I would have assumed that I would pray more than usual, but did not do so. There were times of pleas for aid and thanksgiving, but little time was spent in silent prayer.

Our priest reminded us on Ash Wednesday that our Lenten discipline is to pray Psalm 51:10:

Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me.

These 40 days are to commit that prayer into our lives. One step for me is to sit in silence with God every morning on awaking.

Today was the third day of doing this. I found that I awoke, yearning to pray. Remember the old adage? The more one prays, the more one will want to!

Friday Five: Emptiness

Emptiness by Bluesrose

Sally brings today's RevGals Friday Five:

I have been pondering this Friday Five over and over in my mind, but I am coming up with nothing, so I am wondering; what do you do when you feel empty of all creativity and unable to make/do anything? This is a completely open question, the only rule is name 5 things that fill/ inspire you:

1.Meditate, be in silence--even for a minute! There was a cute cartoon on FB about just taking a moment of meditation! So I'll put it here:

2. Talk to a good friend. For some unknown reason, I find it hard to call people even though I like talking to them once the conversation gets started.

3. Go for a walk.

4. Go to the Psalter. When I can't sit or pray, I can always pray/read a Psalm. I remember when I was clinically depressed in the 1990's and couldn't seem to pray, I would read Psalms, especially the laments.

5. Write a note or card to someone. Write in a journal.

How I feel with my White Hair!

Stethoscope

Changing Habits

In an email from ZenHabits, I got this wonderful article about changing habits. With Lent starting tomorrow, this is a good time to practice giving up a habit and trying to make a new one. Here are the high points from Leo Babauta's piece on "It's Not Too Late to Change Your Habits":

Here’s how.

Know as you start that you aren’t changing a mountain. You don’t have to change years of bad actions. Those actions are gone — they’ve evaporated into the ether, and you can forget them. Forgive yourself for them, then forget them.
You don’t need to run a marathon to change a habit. You just need to take a step. And you can take a step.

Consider for a moment your bad habit. You might have a dozen, but choose an easy one. Not the one you’re most afraid of — the one you think you can lick.
Take a step back and think about this habit. When do you do it? What things trigger the habit — stress, food, drinking, socializing, boredom, sadness, waking, being criticized? What need does the habit fulfill for you? Know that it does fulfill a real need, and that’s why you keep doing it.

Realize something — stop here to drive home for yourself a crucial, crucial point: you must realize that you don’t need this habit to fulfill this need. You don’t need the habit. You can deal with stress in healthier ways. You can beat boredom. You can cope. You do not need the habit, and you will learn better ones with practice.
You might be feeling a bit overwhelmed at this point, but you’ve done the hardest part. Now you just need to take one more little step.

Commit to yourself to make a small tiny insignificant but powerful step each day. Commit fully, not half-assed. Commit by writing it down, and putting it up on your wall. Commit by telling a friend about it, and asking for help. Commit by putting it on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, your blog, a forum you frequent. Be all in.

Find a replacement habit. One that is healthier. One that fulfills the need. One that is easy. One that you can do after your trigger, instead of your bad habit. One that you enjoy and will look forward to. If you need to relieve stress, for example, consider walking, or pushups, or deep breathing, or self-massage.
You’re now ready to climb out of your trench. Remember, just a tiny tiny step.

Notice your urge to do the habit. Pause. Don’t do the bad habit. Let the urge pass, then do your new replacement habit.

Repeat, noticing the urge, letting the urge pass, not doing the bad habit, doing the good habit instead. You might mess up, but that’s OK. You’ll get better with practice.

Practice as often as you can, every day. You’ll get really good at it. Don’t worry about how long it takes. Keep doing it, one urge at a time.
 .
Know, Consider, Realize, Commit, Find, Notice, Repeat, Practice.

Ideas for Lent

Today is Shrove Tuesday. Both my former church (First Methodist) and my current one (All Saints Episcopal) have pancake suppers tonight, but I don't want to eat their pancakes! I've done that for too many years and do not enjoy any of the meal. Since husband CB will be teaching Chemistry for Nursing Students at our local community college during that time, I'll probably stay home. I will contribute to the causes that are benefiting from these pancake suppers (Russian Mission at FUMC and the youth at All Saints) instead.

Today I need to decide what intentional practice I will do during this season of Lent. It's easy to give up chocolate, but that is more for my diet than for God. Robin has suggested giving up the internet. That would be like letting go of the branch from the Sufi story below this one.

I ordered free table tents for the people in the Wisdom Class to set up in their kitchens--Lenten Prayers for Hungry People.

Creighton University has Prayers for each day of Lent.

William J. O'Malley has a PDF on "Lenten Prayers for Busy People."

Robin is going to do Ignatian Spirituality practices for Lent. Terri is following these sites for Lent:
 two Lenten prayer sites: wordsmatter and Ignatian Spiritual Exercises.

I am planning to re-read Small Surrenders: A Lenten Journey by Emilie Griffin. I haven't decided upon a commitment besides that yet.

If you have a favorite Lenten link or idea, please comment here!

Trusting God?

Below is a Sufi story about someone hanging onto a branch that will soon break, which set my mind up for typical stories of being caught, etc. However, when I slowly read this short tale, I realized how much trust is involved in letting go and it is quite frightening. How much do I really trust God? How much do you?

“A man was chased off a cliff by a tiger. He fell, and just managed to hold onto a branch. Six feet below, a violent sea lashed fierce-looking rocks. To his horror, he noticed that the branch he was clutching was being gnawed at its roots by two rats. Seeing he was doomed, he cried out, ‘O Lord, save me!’

“He heard a Voice reply, ‘O course, I will save you. But first, let go of the branch!’”

Harvey, Andrew and Hanut, Eryk. Perfume of the Desert: Inspirations from Sufi Wisdom. Wheaton, IL: Quest Books, 1999. 18.

For Peace of Mind

I tell you one thing – if you want peace of mind, do not find fault with others.

Rather learn to see your own faults.

Learn to make the whole world your own.

No one is a stranger, my child;

 this whole world is your own.

– Sri Sarada Devi

Eknath Easwaran wrote:

"When we get even the slightest glimpse of the unity of life, we realize that in tearing others down we are tearing ourselves down too. When you sit in judgment on other people and countries and races, you’re training your mind to sit in judgment on yourself. As we forgive others, we are teaching the mind to respond with forgiveness everywhere, even to the misdeeds and mistakes of our own past."

Again, I am reminded of that prayer an alcoholic doctor from Alaska told me in an AA meeting at The Meadows in 1995--to pray for your enemies (though I often pray it for friends or family):

Bless ____________________, change me.



The Thought for the Day is today's entry from Eknath Easwaran's Words to Live By. (Copyright 1999 and 2005 by The Blue Mountain Center of Meditation.)



Shoulder Stuff

Most of my time these days seems to be spent going to physical therapy three times a week and doing homework of exercises for my shoulder 3-4 times each day. It is surprising to me that the sideways "walking up the wall" with my fingers is the hardest for my arm/shoulder right now.

I am lucky that I ended up with the physical therapist I did because she explains very thoroughly about my body, showing me the different views/layers of muscles around my right arm and shoulder. This gives me understanding of what happened in my injury, but also what is happening in my recovery. It makes me want to work on it, too.

It is interesting to observe how I automatically judge that I should be doing better in the different positions--until I realize that it has only been five days since I got out of the sling. Considering that, I am making progress. A minor but noticeable effect is that the day my sling got off, it hurt to try to pull the sleeve of my sweater down using my right hand behind my back. Now that does not seem difficult, even though I cannot lift the right arm up past my waist in the back. Still, that's better than it was.

As the doctor told me, "slow and steady." That's a description for any type of discipline, including prayer.

Friday Five: Freedom

After spending the past six weeks with my right arm tightly bound to my body with a "shoulder immobilizing" sling due to shoulder surgery, I was able to discard that restrictive device three days ago. Such freedom in movement is to be savored! This brought to mind how we experience freedom in many different ways in our lives.


For today's Friday Five, tell us about your times of release or detachment (freedom!) in such areas as:

1. physical
The most recent physical release I have experienced is the one related above: I saw my orthopedic surgeon on Tuesday and he told me I could stop wearing the arm/shoulder sling! He told me this after he showed me the x-rays taken some minutes before, where he pointed out the white deposits of calcium where the bone was reattaching itself.

It is wonderful to not have that black contraption wrapped around me. The freedom to straighten out my arm is delightful. NOT sleeping with my arm bent inwards (the elbow always right next to my body) across my body is so comfortable!

I still cannot move my arm in all directions or to heights I would like. Having physical therapy three times a week plus doing exercises at home give me encouragement about my future mobility.

2. spiritual
Having a group of three friends that meet regularly for lunch on Mondays since 1996 has brought me freedom to express my doubts and wonderings about God in discussions. We were originally all in the same church and same adult Sunday School class, and it was refreshing to find openness and acceptance together when we could not always experience that in the first two places.

I am still fortunate to see these three women almost weekly, with time out for trips and grandchildren being born.

3. emotional
I was clinically depressed for several years in the mid-90s. When I finally could accept that "depression" was only a part of me and not the defining characteristic/weakness of my being, then I grew healthier.

4. vocational
I only realized the freedom I experienced as a teacher in Oregon after moving to Texas and teaching for one year here. In Oregon, we were allowed to individualize and work as teams instead of coordinating with each teacher in a certain grade to teach exactly the same thing (as in TX). We had state goals or guidelines for each subject in each grade to guide us, but there was more freedom in choosing to accomplish these. (This was back in the late '70's, so these judgments may not apply now.)

5. relationships
Thomas Merton's saying that the closer you come to God, the closer you come to your true self shows forth in my relationships with others. Earlier in my life, I was very much a people-pleaser and somehow I've grown more into my own self as I've aged. I know God has provided people, books, and such groups as Al-Anon and church to bring more awareness into action in me.

Patience for Another

Eknath Easwaren wrote:

"In India, where families often make severe sacrifices to send a son or daughter to college, everyone is patient with a student who is out of cash. If you are waiting in line for tickets with two or three friends, for example, and your turn comes at the box-office window, everyone understands if you suddenly discover that your shoelace has come loose. You bend down to tie it, giving your friends a chance to buy your ticket, and everybody knows there is no question of generosity or stinginess; you simply do not have the capacity to pay.

"Similarly, when someone suddenly gets angry, you can think to yourself, “Well, his shoelace has just come untied.” He has just run out of inner resources. Whatever he was doing before, he has to bend down and look at his feet; he hasn’t got attention to give to anything else. To grow rich in love – to make yourself into a real tycoon of tenderness – have patience with others."

This reminds me of the prayer: Bless ______________, change me."
 
The Thought for the Day is today's entry from Eknath Easwaran's Words to Live By. (Copyright 1999 and 2005 by The Blue Mountain Center of Meditation.)

Enjoy it while you can!

With thanks to Trying God's Patience FB Page.

Happy Valentine's Day!

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

- e. e. cummings ~

NO to the Death of Books!

Don't let this be true! I love books!

Write More Letters!

Letter Writers Alliance has this image for free downloading for wallpaper for your computer or tablet. I thought it was just a good reminder for me and maybe a prompt for you to send a note or card!

I can hardly wait!!

I can hardly wait until Valentine's Day--when I will see my orthopedic surgeon and hopefully get permission to stop using the "shoulder immobilizing sling" and to move my right arm! I may not have full mobility yet, but it will come.

Since January 4, the day of my shoulder surgery, my husband has had to help me daily with my shower and to dress myself. He'll be glad (and I'll be even more glad) when I can do it all by myself!

Friday Five: Love!

Revjarla brings today's Valentine Friday Five for RevGalBlogPals:

Share 5 Valentines you would like to give this year, and why--but here is the hitch,
Can't give them G-d, Jesus, Holy Spirit...or your mom, your beloved, your sweet child(ren)...tell us about the other amazing beings in your life.

1. Joe and Fan--dear friends who moved to Colorado last year, but are moving back this spring! In fact, today they are meeting husband CB and me for lunch, as they are her trying to get their return somewhat organized. Not only our church but the Corpus Christi community rejoice at their coming home to us.

2. My four bridesmaids, who are still good friends--though they live in WA and CA and I live in TX.
Do you remember that picture I recently posted of them from 1971? It can be found here. I am grateful that they are good and faithful friends.

3. Daryl, Paige and Melissa, who make up my Monday Lunch group. We meet almost every Monday to talk about our families, politics, and religion. In 1996 we started out to be an Emmaus Reunion Group, but soon fell into being a support group for raising teenagers and also to ask questions, often seemingly heretical, about religion. The continuity, acceptance and authenticity of these women nurture me on a regular basis.

4. Richard Foster, founder of Renovare and author of many books on spirituality. His book Celebration of Discipline, which I read for the first time in 1994, opened me up to spiritual practices and writers from the past and the present who have broadened my mind and my heart. Thanks to the bibliography in that book, I found books I had never heard of, which led me to other books--that kept leading me out and in.

5. The Wisdom Class--I wish I had the time and determination (as well as the use of my right hand) to send each person a Valentine. This book group, which I began facilitating in 2005, has opened my heart and mind. I send love in my heart to each person who has visited and/or stayed with this weekly group over the years, especially to Georgia and Helen, who were founding members of the group before I knew of it and who have joined each other in God's Beyond.

On Prayer

You ask me how to pray to someone who is not.


All I know is that prayer constructs a velvet bridge

And walking it we are aloft, as on a springboard,

Above landscapes the color of ripe gold

Transformed by a magic stopping of the sun.

That bridge leads to the shore of Reversal

Where everything is just the opposite and the word 'is'

Unveils a meaning we hardly envisioned.

Notice: I say we; there, every one, separately,

Feels compassion for others entangled in the flesh

And knows that if there is no other shore

We will walk that aerial bridge all the same.



~~Czeslaw Milosz

Polish poet (1911-2004)

How I feel about politicians

With thanks to Terri who found it at The Progressive Pragmatic's FB page.

Beautiful Bookstores of the World



 Buenos Aires, Argentina

Until I saw on FB "The 20 Most Beautiful Bookstores in the World," I never thought of traveling around to look at bookstores. However, I must admit, that I love to go into bookstores and card stores wherever I travel. Someday, perhaps that can be more of a goal.

Mexico City, Mexico

And here in the United States:

Ojai, California

It was fun to look at the different bookstores, though I am sure there are more lovely ones not pictured.

Telling Your Story

To tell a story, one needs a good listener. Maybe that means each of us should be interested in the person we are with!

I read this about story in the "book" mystery I just finished A Slepying Hound to Wake by Vincent McCaffrey:

"'I guess I didn't have any (story) to tell."

"Or is it you never gave the story a chance? Your dad has a story. What's yours?"

"I don't know."

"Sure you do. You're in the middle of it, aren't you? It's all around you, isn't it? Isn't it just a matter of whether or not you think it's worth the telling? And whether you have someone to tell it to? Your dad told the stories he wanted to tell, and he told them to me because I listened.'" (201)
McCaffery, Vincent. A Slepying Hound to Wake. Easthampton, MA: Small Beer Press, 2011. 201.

Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to say, and I can see that it depends upon whether I can think of something that is "worth the telling" and if someone is listening.

Books, Mysteries, and Images

Lately, I am definitely reading more books than blogs.

I have found two new mystery writers by perusing the new books shelf at the local library. The first is Karin Slaughter, who writes of mysteries in Atlanta, GA. The other author combines books with mystery as the main quirky character is a "bookhound"--by Vincent McCaffery.

To find more fun images about books, both about reading and writing them, go here. This a picture album for Trying God's Patience, which is the Facebook page for auther Susan Wittig Albert, who writes the China Bayles' mysteries, which are set in the Texas hill country. Those are the mysteries that my friend Nancy got me started on this past October.

another image from Trying God's Patience

Friday Five: Images via Lectio Divina

Martha brought today's Friday Five to RevGalBlogPals:

For today's Friday Five, let's have a mini-BE 5.0 workshop. Take a look at these five portions from the gospel lections for this Sunday and next, and share with us the images that come to mind for you. Feel free to use words or pictures. (Just remember David Cassidy is taken.)

Since I didn't go on the RevGals cruise, I didn't encounter their way of looking at these scriptures. So I am going to use a mini-Lectio Divina approach and try to get some images. However, this will take longer than usual for a FF; I'll come back and do different pieces throughout the day.

1. As soon as they left the synagogue, they entered the house of Simon and Andrew, with James and John. Now Simon's mother-in-law was in bed with a fever, and they told him about her at once. He came and took her by the hand and lifted her up. Then the fever left her, and she began to serve them. (Mark 1:29-31)

With the inspiration of David Cassidy, I thought of the last episode of "The Middle," where the middle daughter Sue is embarrassing her older brother in high school with her enthusiastic dorky-ness. In this scene, she is trying to get to her next class but is always late--the funniest scene is when she decides to take all her books in her backpack and ends up falling backwards in the hall--like a turtle upside down. Her brother would not help her get up and walked away.

Eden Sher of "The Middle" tv show

How we need to help each other--and that will bring us to serve others.

2. That evening, at sundown, they brought to him all who were sick or possessed with demons. And the whole city was gathered around the door. And he cured many who were sick with various diseases, and cast out many demons; and he would not permit the demons to speak, because they knew him. (Mark 1:32-34)

Yesterday our weekly Lectio Divina group meditated upon Mark 1:32-37. In our discussion after the prayer time, we talked of why Jesus told the demons not to speak of his identity. We decided it was because in Mark, the divine identity of Jesus was a secret throughout the story.

3. In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed. And Simon and his companions hunted for him. When they found him, they said to him, "Everyone is searching for you." (Mark 1:35-37)

Even though I choose the Lectio Divina selection each week (from the lectionary) for our group, I am always surprised at the insight that comes to me in the silence. This week's selection had me concentrate on the phrase "Everyone is searching for you." I realized that every person in the world is seeking the Divine/Love, and I need to be more aware of that commonality in large groups, where I can often feel alone. Instead, we are each seeking the Desire of our Hearts and are doing the best we can in that endeavor.

4. He answered, "Let us go on to the neighboring towns, so that I may proclaim the message there also; for that is what I came out to do." And he went throughout Galilee, proclaiming the message in their synagogues and casting out demons. (Mark 1:38-39)

I loved the image Julie brought to this in her FF, because she envisioned a DE-cluttering, which makes me think of my need to get rid of stuff. Jesus cast out devils right and left. He is a model to follow--so what do I need to get rid of??

5. A leper came to him begging him, and kneeling he said to him, "If you choose, you can make me clean." Moved with pity, Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him, and said to him, "I do choose. Be made clean!" Immediately the leprosy left him, and he was made clean. After sternly warning him he sent him away at once, saying to him, "See that you say nothing to anyone; but go, show yourself to the priest, and offer for your cleansing what Moses commanded, as a testimony to them." But he went out and began to proclaim it freely, and to spread the word, so that Jesus could no longer go into a town openly, but stayed out in the country; and people came to him from every quarter. (Mark 1:40-45)

Sometimes it seems like there are too many choices to choose from. Other times, I am not even aware of a choice--there was one, but I just react. Someone once told me that her therapist advised her to remember to "Choose Health." Choosing health could be interchanged with "Choosing Love" and/or "Choosing God."

I Believe This

from Naked Pastor David Hayward

We've Got Mail!

Today is the first day of February and the first day of my letter-writing challenge.
That challenge is:

In the month of February, mail at least one item through the post every day it runs. Write a postcard, a letter, send a picture, or a cutting from a newspaper, or a fabric swatch.

Bonnie of Bonnie's Books is also participating in this effort. In fact, she and I have exchanged addresses and are going to send something to each other!

This will be fun! And if you want me to write to you, please email me your address by writing to me at hiltjan (at) gmail (dot) com.