Age

Yesterday was my third child BJ's birthday. He is now 24.

My oldest son DC will be 30 this summer, and my youngest child MJ will be 20 in November. (So as not to leave out a child, AE is 27.)

I remember when I was 24, my husband and I moved from VA to OR so that CB could go to graduate school at Oregon State University in Corvallis. We lived in married student housing, and I taught 2nd and 2nd-3rd grades in Eddyville, where the entire school had 250 kids for grades K-12. It was a happy time. And now BJ is that same age.

Then I wonder if I'll even be alive in 24 years. Neither of my parents lived to be 80 years old. Will I? In 24 years I would/could be almost 82.

I'm not really worried about dying. It just seems closer as I edge nearer to the age of 60. Maybe I am also more aware of it as I stopped dyeing my hair (last year) and it is going whiter. (See in the Easter pictures.)
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I've also been reading Autumn Gospel: Women in the Second Half of Life by Kathleen Fischer. I had been averse to reading it, probably due to its title, until a friend called me up and read some quotes from it. Then I had to get the book!

Here is how I so often feel these days:

"The novelist Isabel Allende explains this shift after turning fifty: 'I don't have any time to waste. I don't have time for gossip or greed or revenge or undirected anger.' She says she is concentrating on the basics, which have to do with love." (32)

Crossroads

I seem to be at a crossroads in my life. My oldest child turned 29, and my youngest is going off to college. And in a few months I will be 58, which means I have been a mother for HALF my life. Since my mother died at 72 and my father at 79, I am not sure if I will live another 29 years. But even so, what will happen in the remaining time after 2 X 29 years?

Empty nest. Final paper for the Shalem Program of Spiritual Guidance to write, which I am working on now. Three final scholarly papers for my master's degree in theology at Oblate School of Theology, as next spring is my deadline. Closets to clean. Books to either find shelves for or get rid of. (AND 40th high school reunion in August!)

There is lots to do. Average or memorable? Love makes life memorable, so I hope I remember to live with love and gratitude as I learn to live more fully in the next phase of my life.