Self-Discipline

Since I have always been someone who procrastinates, I think that I am a 9 on the Enneagram. With outside deadlines, I always get things done. (However, without them, I'm not so "efficient.") Even in graduate school in the past decade, I could write A papers a few days beforehand. It's a bad way to be, because I don't work to my full potential.

I recently rediscovered this book in my book-laden home: Making a Change for Good: A Guide to Compassionate Self-Discipline by Cheri Huber, who is a Zen teacher and author.
As a sidelight, I thought it was printed in the Papyrus font, which evidently is being used in all sorts of ways, according to my daughter in Seattle. This same daughter informed me that this book does not have the papyrus font; but now I don't know what type of font it is. Obviously, I am confused about the papyrus font, too.

I have a poor attitude about "self-discipline," because I broadly say, "I don't have any." Rationally, I realize I have to have some to survive, but I judge myself as inadequate in finishing some things, like my papers for graduate school, cleaning out years of junk in closets, dieting, etc., etc. So I am now working on a new attitude, which corresponds to my crossroads logo. This book is helping me, especially because it has a 30 day guided "retreat" with journaling at the back of the book.

I need to remember:

"Nothing in life is a matter of 'fault'; no amount of self-discipline will ever give anyone control over life (control is an illusion); happiness does not depend on circumstances; and life is always exactly as it is!" (2)

"...compassionate self-discipline is nothing other than being present rather than engaged in distracted, unfocused, addictive behaviors based in an I-need-to-fix-myself mentality." (4)

"WE DON'T LACK SELF-DISCIPLINE, WE LACK PRESENCE." (4)

The author's advice is to meditate, which goes along with my Lenten practice of sitting with God each day.

Hi. I'm an introvert.

Introvert Bench!

After an unusually busy weekend for me, I am wanting time alone, even skipping a meeting at church today. I acknowledge that I need to "recharge my energy," which I just read about here. The author cited is Marti Olsen, who wrote The Introvert Advantage, which I have not read.

"Introverts have social skills, they like people, and they enjoy some types of socializing… Introverts enjoy one-on-one conversations, but group activities can be overstimulating and drain energy."

Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D

That pretty much describes me!

Friday night there was a church choir potluck dinner, as husband CB is in the choir, at a member's house. Saturday night there was a company retirees dinner, which is made up of six couples. We were there for four hours before being the first to depart. We're almost always the first to leave (CB is also an introvert) any event, which held true for both dinners. We have a good time--and get tired sooner than everyone else!

I was one of the hostesses of a bridal shower on Saturday afternoon. 35 women came, most of whom I know from my former church (First United Methodist Church). The shower was for the sister of oldest son DC's best friend as they grew up. I was happy to participate and help and enjoyed the time there, but had to leave after three hours so I could get home and make a salad for the dinner that night!

This morning I helped another person teach a class on the Enneagram. This is a Sunday School class that will meet each Sunday in March. Just as with any type of self-reflection, working the Enneagram or spiritual path, I am realizing (again) that we need to accept and not judge as either "good" or "bad" our attributes. The way is awareness, acceptance, action, a teaching from Al-Anon that continues to reverberate in my being.

I do find that I accept myself being an introvert, which actually was the reason I gave the co-chairperson of the committee (that is meeting right now) that I could not attend--that I was "overwhelmed" and needed some time alone. Whew! That is so true.

Here's a funny but true article about introverts by Jonathan Rauch.

Dualistic Thinking can be Death

"Death is what takes place within us when we look upon others not as gift, blessing, or stimulus but as threat, danger, competition. It is the death that comes to all who try to live by bread alone. This is the death that the Bible fears and gives us good reason to fear. It is not the final departure we usually think of when we speak of truth; it is that purposeless, empty existence devoid of genuine human relationships and filled with anxiety, silence, and loneliness."

~~Dorothee Soelle, Death by Bread Alone, p. 4.

This reminds me of dualistic thinking as described by Richard Rohr. I heard him say at that conference:

"God cannot 'get in' when we are in a moral, judging, worthiness contest."

When I put myself higher or lower than someone else, I am blocking my perception of God in them and in me. That is dualistic thinking and is a trap I fall into, especially since I think my enneagram number is six and doubting oneself is one of its (my) failings. But then I may be a nine, so nine or six is my conundrum.

Enneagram

Since hearing Russ Hudson and Richard Rohr speak about the Enneagram and Non-Dualistic Thinking, I have been talking and writing about the Enneagram and reading, too. Today I read this in Richard Rohr's book:

"Meditation and prayer play a central role in this (exercises that help us grow closer to God and ourselves) , because the Enneagram cannot be mastered on a purely intellectual level, not even by a Five. It is an experiential method in which through a mind of 'inner listening' I find out what 'voices' are at work within me. The 'discernment of spirits' is that instinctive spiritual authority that helps me to realize which of these voices will free me for an 'abundant life' (John 10:10) and which will lead me to jail and to death."

Rohr, Richard. The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective. New York: Crossroad Publishing Company, 2008. 231.

Today I ordered more books online about the Enneagram, some connected to spiritual direction, which I am keenly interested in.

Here are some links to good sites about the Enneagram:

The Enneagram Institute--founded and managed by Russ Hudson and Don Riso
This contains links to descriptions for the various types, Enneagram tests, and other sources.

9 Types.Com
This has links to various components of the personality types and other sites.

Enneagram Worldwide--founded by Helen Palmer
She also has this site:
Enneagram.Com

There's a funny dinner cartoon by Elizabeth Wagele, which I am unable to put on my blog, but will write down the dialogue below as it indicates the personality of the nine different types of the Enneagram. The cartoon is from her book entitled The Enneagram Made Easy.
And she has a link to "famous personality types" that is fun to look at.

Around a bountiful dinner table are seated nine people:
One: "Not enough food groups represented here."
Two: "It's so great to feel needed!"
Three: I need to eat and run. I'm swamped."
Four: "Cheap caviar--shocking!"
Five: "It's a talkative group. Good--that gets ME off the hook!"
Six: "She's leaving early. Doesn't she like us?"
Seven: "First I'll eat, then take some pictures, then go to my class, then. . ."
Eight: "Pass it down. Pass it ALL DOWN HERE!"
Nine: "I feel so CLOSE to everybody!"

Which type are you? These cartoon figures show me aspects of the personalities I can picture immediately.

Notes from Richard Rohr's talks

I'm just going to copy down some of my notes from the talks Richard Rohr gave in Albuquerque, NM at the "Laughing and Weeping: The Enneagram as a Tool for Non-Dual Thinking" conference, Dec. 31, 2008-Jan. 3, 2009.

• highest level of thinking=wisdom=non-dualistic thinking
• honor incongruity without fixing, so you'll laugh and/or weep
• Training for conflict, to misunderstand through dualistic thinking, so the ego is invested in own opinion
• polarity thinking is the norm with comparisons, competition
• sin is self-defeating behavior; sin messes us up
• We are not punished for our sins, but by our sins.
• mystics loved and suffered profoundly, which is what destroys dualistic thinking
• Religion gives you patience with mystery, NOT certitude
• Ego is out of control when one is certain of eternity (heaven/hell), especially in judgment towards someone else
• God cannot "get in" when we are in a moral, judging, worthiness contest
  
• God doesn't need to eliminate the negative in us to love us
• If you pretend you're not wounded, you'll miss out on the mystery of God.
  

Enneagram of the USA

While at the conference in Albuquerque, NM, Richard Rohr spoke about the United States being a corporate #3 on the enneagram. Threes strive for success and do everything for praise--to put it simplistically. Here's a brief snippet of what Richard Rohr writes in his book The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective:

"In the U.S. there is no motivation not to be a Three. Anyone who has mastered the Three game here will get to the top of the system. In this country Threes become CEOs, bishops, and presidents. That is one of the reasons why we are so often disappointed by our leaders. Every now and then it dawns on us how superficially things are managed up there. All their lives these people have been so busy climbing the ladder of success that it has become the sole focus of their lives. The Three is the prototype of the white male American. . . .

"We Americans have an extremely hard time seeing through the lies of our system. America, that 'kingdom of the good,' is exalted above every impure motive. This kind of deception is part of our system and lifestyle. . . .

"The Three is a type that grows out of affluence. . . The United States has to go a long way to meet its false collective self, to confront it, and acknowledge its susceptibility to lies, deceit, and illusion." (89)

Richard Rohr expressed hope of Barack Obama becoming our next president. From afar, Richard thinks that our new president is a 9, who are excellent peacemakers and mediators (when integrated).

For a quick overview of the personalities typified in the Enneagram, go here or here.

Blogger meet-up

Ellie and I met at the Enneagram Conference! She has three blogs: Child of Illusion, Does Not Wisdom Call?, and Meditation Matters. In fact, on one of them, she wrote about the conference, more specifically about a quote from Jung that Richard Rohr talked about, so please read this.

And here are Ellie and me:


There were 649 registered attendees. Richard Rohr and Russ Hudson were inspiring, authentic, and enervating.

January 1, 2009

This morning CB and I visited the Petroglyph National Monument west of Albuquerque.We walked several miles along sandy trails with big black rocks all around. Every so often, we would see figures carved on the rocks, like serpents or birds or turtles. Some boulders had been disfigured by bullets over time. The website for the park states that over 20,000 petroglyphs are there. We didn't see that many, but I took pictures and will post some when I get home.

I have difficulties with MJ's laptop and don't know how to highlight with it, which sounds pretty dumb. Thus, I am not putting links in these NM posts. That's why I am not linking to Ellie's three blogs, which I love.

Because of the inspiration, humor and depth she provides, I am thrilled that I have met Ellie at the Enneagram conference here. She and I are excited by the insights and instruction of both Richard Rohr and Russ Hudson. Wow!

More about the conference and some pictures will be posted on my return to Corpus Christi, TX on Jan. 4.

Albuquerque!

CB and I got to Albuquerque around noon today. It was a sunny day in the high 50s F. We wandered around Old Town and visited the Pueblo Indian Cultural Center. There were and are 19 Pueblo Indian tribes!

Tonight I registered for the "Laughing and Weeping" conference on the enneagram. I am excited by all the options, especially for New Year's Eve, but am worried that husband CB is waiting each day for me to be "done." I think I'll go to half of the New Year's Eve events, so I can spend the end of the evening with my husband.

I always vacillate about which number of the enneagram I am. . . .which is why I signed up for the pre-conference session tomorrow: "Know Your Number" with Suzanne Stabile.

I waver in my belief in the enneagram system, and I have been won over by Richard Rohr's interest, this conference, and reading Understanding the Enneagram by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson. (Russ Hudson is one of the speakers with Richard Rohr for this week.) We'll see what I think by Saturday afternoon, when we depart.

Here's a quote I really like at the beginning of that book:

"In addition to giving us insight into our day-to-day behaviors, the enneagram offers an answer to our spiritual yearnings because it shows us with great specificity how our personality has limited us, what our path of growth is, and where real fulfillment can be found. It teaches us that the longings and structures of our personality are actually useful guides to the greatest treasures of our soul. By regarding our self-defeating patterns and even our psychological pain and limitations as indicators of our spiritual capacities, we are able to see ourselves in a different light. With this new perspective comes compassion, healing, love, and transformation." (4-5)

Hope it's true.

Richard Rohr Conference

By Monday, only our two dogs and one cat will be left at our house, to be taken care of by a long-time friend. MJ goes with her boy friend's family to Colorado to ski tomorrow. Also on Sunday, DC and AA will return to Austin and BJ goes back to Houston. They take their bulldog and Brittany Spaniel with them.

And on Monday morning, CB and I start our drive to Albuquerque, NM for the "Laughing and Weeping" conference. CB is not attending the sessions, but magnanimously agreed to go with me on this trip.

And I am going to meet fellow blogger Ellie at the conference. She's going, too! If you don't know Ellie yet, she has three blogs: Child of Illusion, Does Not Wisdom Call?, and Meditation Matters.

Richard Rohr and the Enneagram

I am very excited that I am going to this Richard Rohr conference over New Year's Eve in Albuquerque, NM! I am also amazed, because dear husband CB is going with me, even though he does NOT want to attend any of the meetings. And I only learned this today, because one of his fellow choir members told me that CB was talking about me wanting to go, which was news to me. I'd talked to CB about it this weekend, but he was discouraging about the expense of air fares and did not want to talk about it. With the "percolating" time, he decided to gift me with this!

It will be good to hear Richard Rohr speak and also learn more about the enneagram. I have haphazardly looked into it, but have varied between different numbers. . . .Duh!

This is what the website says about the conference:

"When we learn things deeply it is usually because we can see a pattern within ourselves, and then we cannot deny the truth in general. The enneagram is a patterning tool that moves people rather quickly beyond black and white thinking, beyond mere psychological theories, to see, instead, through the lens of human personality. This is why we find ever more knowing flowing from the Enneagram--and non-dual knowing, at that.

"Russ Hudson and Richard Rohr will lead you on a journey of laughing and weeping at yourself and the world. They will help you uncover some of the ever more fruitfulness of this marvelous spiritual tool!

"The weekend will offer lectures, practices and affinity groupings, all in a context of transformation for our selves, compassion for our companions, and prayer for the world."

It sounds like an enervating way to start the New Year!