Beloved Father Kelly

Father Kelly Nemeck 1936-2014

I have known Father Kelly for twenty years, through some of his time of being the director of Lebh Shomea "House of Prayer" retreat center in Sarita, TX. He was a priest in the order of Oblates of Mary Immaculate; he is the one who guided me to go to school at the Oblate School of Theology in San Antonio. He died last Thursday.

Father Kelly was a spiritual icon/mentor to me. Through his contemplative masses, I came to love the Eucharist and experience the presence of God. He taught me so many things that I cannot enumerate them, just as he touched many, many others' lives. One thing that stands out is him telling a class at OST that he believed at the moment of death, each of us comes face to face with the Divine One and who could refuse Him then??

I am copying his obituary below, mostly because I want a copy saved.

1936 - 2014
Father Francis Kelly Nemeck, O.M.I., known as Father Kelly, was a great influence in the spiritual lives of countless men and women - married, single, vowed religious, priests, and bishops. From his young adulthood onward, he responded to a special calling to fostering attentive listening to God and others - a life of prayerful contemplation. Born in 1936 in Prescott, Arizona, he came to San Antonio as a child with his parents, May Yeary (of Kingsville, Texas) and Lt. Col. Francis Leonard "Kelly" Nemeck (of Douglas, Arizona) and his sister, Ann. After attending St. Anthony High School Seminary, he made his novitiate year in Mission, Texas, in preparation for joining the Missionary Oblates of Mary Immaculate and professed his first vows as an Oblate in 1955. In preparation for the priesthood, he studied philosophy at DeMazenod Scholasticate (today's Oblate School of Theology) in San Antonio and theology at St. Joseph Scholasticate in Ottawa, Canada. During the course of these studies he was drawn by the thought of the Jesuit cosmologist and theologian Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, who envisioned all of creation evolving to ultimate reunion with Jesus Christ. Teilhard's thought was a lifelong influence in Fr. Nemeck's spirituality. His other model was St. John of the Cross, whom he studied very deeply and followed in his spirituality very closely. Ordained a priest at St. Mary's Church in downtown San Antonio in 1961, his first assignment was to DeMazenod Scholasticate as a professor for five years. Then, after briefly serving among the Chontals in Tehuantepec, Mexico, and at parishes in Midland and Houston, he began studies for a doctorate in spiritual theology at the Catholic Institute in Lyons, France, during which time he also taught and directed retreats in Ontario, Canada. His dissertation in 1973, under the direction of Henri de Lubac, S.J., developed the thought of Teilhard de Chardin and St. John of the Cross on the constructive value of human suffering. In late 1973, Fr. Nemeck joined the house of prayer founded earlier that year by Fr. Tom Marcoux, O.M.I., in the former main house of the vast La Parra Ranch surrounding Sarita, Texas, on the parcel of the ranch bequeathed to the Oblates by Sarita Kenedy East in gratitude for the long ministry of Oblate missionaries in South Texas. The fact that Fr. Marcoux had named the house of prayer Lebh Shomea, Hebrew for "listening heart," after King Solomon's request for a listening heart when God offered to grant the king anything that he wanted, certainly corresponded with Fr. Nemeck's own contemplative spirit. Together with Sisters Marie Theresa Coombs and Maria Meister, Father Nemeck developed Lebh Shomea during the next forty years into a nationally recognized place of silent contemplation and discernment for thousands of people from all walks of life. Fr. Nemeck and Marie Theresa Coombs coauthored several books on spiritual discernment, which have also been translated into Spanish. He also traveled to San Antonio to teach courses in spirituality and discernment at Oblate School of Theology for several years. In 1988-1991 and 1994-1999 he served on the Provincial Council (leadership group) of the Southern Province of the Missionary Oblates. When his health began to significantly deteriorate in late 2013, Fr. Nemeck moved to the Oblate Madonna Residence in San Antonio. Supporting increasing suffering with spiritual fortitude, he died there on September 11, 2014. He is survived by his sister, Ann Nemeck Henry, his nieces Elizabeth and Kathryn, and his Missionary Oblate brothers. May Father Kelly rejoice in God's abiding love.

Books and Trips

Since the Summer Conference at Oblate with Robert L. Moore as the main speaker, I have been reading books related to Jung. My interest was ignited by the various speakers, and I see that the spiritual journey coincides with the psychological journey to wholeness.

Briefly, I will tell you what I am reading and have read:

The book that surprised me by its synchronicity with the talks I heard at Oblate was a book I brought with me with the strange title of The Great Work of Your Life: A Guide for the Journey to Your True Calling by Stephen Cope. I had bought it long ago because a friend had recommended it to me, but the title turned me off. Still to counteract that, I loved the story of how her daughter-in-law was at a yoga retreat in the NE and asked at their bookstore for a recommendation for her mother-in-law that she described as a "Christian Mystic." This is that book! It is based on the Bhagavad Gita, with descriptions of famous people living out the true life of following dharma--Jane Goodall, Susan B. Anthony, John Keats, and Harriet Tubman.

Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up by James Hollis

What Matters Most: Living a More Considered Life by James Hollis

Those were easily downloaded on my Kindle and so I started reading the first one while I was still in San Antonio. (This was after a Jungian analyst I met from Houston recommended James Hollis' books).

And I got the cd set for "Through the Dark Wood: Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life" by James Hollis, which I will listen to as I drive to Austin tomorrow.

Chuck and I are driving separate cars to drive there to help our son and his wife and two little girls get ready to move into their new house. Chuck will probably stay longer than I will, because he'll be painting walls. It will be fun to see Avery and Emma (and their mommy and daddy)! And we are so lucky that we have dependable people to take care of our dogs, cat, and house.

When I get back, I will try to write about what I've been reading and also finish telling you about our vacation!

Oblate Summer Institute 2014

I have been attending the Oblate Summer Institute since 2001, when it was a much smaller event. Since Father Ronald Rolheiser became President of Oblate School of Theology, he has fostered many more programs for spiritual development, including the expansion of this Summer Institute.

This year's Summer Institute is featuring Dr. Robert Moore, Jungian analyst, professor, and author. On Monday-Wednesday, he will speak about:

June 16th:

The Flood: Facing the Growing Global Epidemic of Grandiosity

 

June 17th:

Understanding Our Need for a Psycho-Spiritual Ark

 

June 18th:

The Real Ark: Building the Fellowship of the Golden Dragon

I will be attending with other friends from Corpus Christi. I am looking forward to hearing the author of Facing the Dragon: Confronting Personal and Spiritual Grandiosity (which only costs $7.99 on the Kindle).

Master's Degree in Theology??

When I went to the 2013 Summer Institute at Oblate School of Theology a few weeks ago, I felt very nostalgic walking the halls of the Theology Building. When I walked around the second floor, where many of my classes had been held, I found this wreath on an office door.

The wreath was to honor Father Heemrood, who had been a professor of Old Testament for decades. He was a knowledgeable and very kind man. Fr. Heemrood died several months ago.

I was greatly touched that this small seminary would honor one of their professors in this way. It fits with the Hispanic culture of San Antonio, TX.

Taking this picture with my new Iphone prompted me to show it to the Dean of Continuing Education at the dinner that night. She had been a fellow student with me when I first began attending Oblate in 2001.

I always hate to intrude upon people, especially those in charge of major events, at such busy times. But discussing Father Heemrood brought our discussion around to past professors and our families, plus all the additions to the OST campus.

Suddenly Rose asked me if I had ever graduated and whether I had had enough classes to do so. I replied that I had enough classes, but that too much time had passed, so I did not think I was eligible to finish my degree plan--for a Master's in Theology. However, she reassured me that it might be possible and tht she would broach the subject with the Dean.

All that happened this past week, so that I was scheduled to call the Academic Dean on Monday morning. When I did so, he was kind and attentive, asking some questions and commenting on my academic record. Then he offered an extension for me to finish the final papers (a thesis or three scholarly papers) by May 2014!

All this was totally unexpected and almost unbelievable (from my perspective)! Until this happened, I thought I had given up the idea of finishing this degree, being content to appreciate all I had learned in the process of attending those many classes where I drove to San Antonio from Corpus Christi once or twice a week. Out of the blue, this seemed to come about. I find it amazing.

So by the end of the month, I need to have topics to present to the Academic Dean. I've already been assured by RevGal friends that they are praying for me. I am also praying for assistance, even though I already have seen evidence of assistance towards this goal.

Galship With RevGalsBlogPals

Over at RevGalsBlogPals, the blogging community for women in ministry and those who support women in ministry, we're hosting a July Blog Carnival to celebrate some changes and expansion in the blog site!

From the site: This week's blog carnival topic is: What does Galship mean to you? The phrase was originally coined to refer to RevGal Fellowship--all the ways we build community, share our lives, support each other, and have fun. So blog about Galship--have you had an experience of galship in person or online? Has galshipping changed your life or ministry? what's your favorite part of our galship? Or whatever way you understand the question--there are no wrong answers! What does Galship mean to you?

"Galship" began for me when I started blogging in 2007, following the example of minister friend Katherine, whom I had met at the Two Year Spiritual Formation Academy. She had been in my covenant group all two years, and we had become good friends. Blogging with her at Meaning and Authenticity kept us in closer contact. Through her, I first learned about RevGalsBlogPals. I was pleased that I didn't have to be an ordained minister to become a member--just a blogger for three months! When that time went by, I applied and met wonderful people connected to this amazing group.

Meeting: 

I met Diane and her husband when I went to an Episcopal Relief and Development (2008) in cold Minneapolis, where her husband took a picture of us together.  I didn't get to meet Scout, but got Scout's hair all over my black winter coat!

I also met Serena near Seattle in 2007 and here is that picture. We got to visit relatives in Seattle and Bellingham, WA every summer, but I haven't gotten to see Serena since that one time. Good intentions conflict with the amount of time available, which is even less this summer.

It is wonderful; to meet blogging friends for the first time and feel like we already know each other. Being an introvert, that is helpful for me!

Camaraderie: 

Through visiting blogs and participating in such events as Friday Fives, I have gotten to know many RevGals and have found amazing connections. And I love finding recommendations for books to read, especially theological and mystery categories.

Ministry and Spirituality:

I've gained ideas for growth AND for blogging. Mompriest at Seeking Authentic Voice brought forth the wonderful idea of the ABC's of Gratitude, which enriched my life with posts for each letter of the alphabet. It was fun to find a different graphic for each letter.

I also appreciate the opportunities to have a special day to provide prayers and once a month to bring forth a Friday Five for RevGals.  

Support:

Problems shared and prayers requested always get responses. And I am ready to ask for more support and prayers, which I will more fully blog about tomorrow:

After some years of inactivity for completing my Master's Degree in Theology from the Oblate School of Theology, I have been granted an extension to write the final papers BY May 2014. What stumped me before was choosing topics (as everything seems to interest me). I ask you to pray for inspiration for the topics of three scholarly papers that I may declare them in the next month!

I last wrote about it and thought of it in 2010 and then decided not to ever pursue it, partly because my health declined around then until I was diagnosed with RA and eventually got on the two medicines that are controlling the pain and symptoms.

Garden of Liminal Space

Father Ron Rolheiser, president of Oblate School of Theology in San Antonio, TX and member of the Oblates of Mary Immaculate writes a column. Today's is the first of six in his Lenten series:

"There's never a good time to die, to bid final good-byes, to lose health, to have a heart attack, to be diagnosed with terminal cancer, to lose friends, to be betrayed, to be misunderstood, to lose everything, to be humiliated, to have to face death and its indescribable loneliness. That's why there's a powerful resistance inside us towards these things.

"We can take consolation in knowing that this was the case too for Jesus. He didn't face these things either without fear, trembling, and the desire to escape. In the Garden of Gethsemane "he sweated blood" as he tried to make peace with his own loss of earthly life.

"The Garden of Gethsemane is, among other things, "liminal space". What is this? Anthropologists use that expression to refer to special times in our lives when our normal situation is so uprooted so that it is possible precisely to plant new roots and take up life in a whole new way. That's usually brought about by a major crisis, one that shakes us in the very roots of our being. Gethsemane was that for Jesus.

"It's significant that Jesus didn't go straight from the last supper room to his crucifixion. He first spent some time readying himself. What's incredible in his story is that he had only one hour within which to do this inner work.

"Imagine this scene: You're relatively young, healthy, and active. You've just enjoyed a festive dinner with close friends, complete with a couple of glasses of wine. You step out of the dining room late at night and you now have one hour to ready yourself to die, one hour to say your final good-byes, to let go, to make peace with death. Sweating blood might be a mild term to describe your inner turmoil. This would surely be an intense hour.

"And so it was for Jesus. That's why his liminal time is often called his "agony in the garden" (an apt term to describe real "liminal space".) What's interesting too is what scripture highlights in his suffering in Gethsemane. As we know, it never emphasizes his physical sufferings (which must have been pretty horrific). Instead it emphasizes his emotional crucifixion, the fact that he is betrayed, misunderstood, alone, morally lonely, the greatest lover in the world, with God alone as his soul mate.

"And what's burning up his heart and soul in Gethsemane? Jesus, himself, expresses it in these words: "If it is possible, let this cup pass from me!" His resistance was to the necessity of it. Why death and humiliation? Couldn't there be some other way? Couldn't new life somehow occur without, first, dying?

"In the Garden, Jesus comes to realize and accept that there isn't any other way, that there's a necessary connection between a certain kind of suffering, a certain letting go, a certain humiliation, and the very possibility of coming to new life.

"Why that necessity? What do we ultimately sweat blood over? Perhaps Job put it best: "Naked I came into this world and naked I leave it again." We are born alone, without possessing anything: clothing, a language, the capacity to take care of ourselves, achievements, trophies, degrees, security, a family, a spouse, a friend, a reputation, a job, a house, a soul mate. When we exit the planet, we will be like that again, alone and naked. But it's precisely that nakedness, helplessness, and vulnerability that makes for liminal space, space within which God can give us something new, beyond what we already have.

"There are times when we sense this, sense its necessity, and sense too that one day, perhaps soon, we will, like Jesus in the Garden, have to make peace with the fact that we are soon to exit this life, alone, but for our hope in God. That's Gethsemane, the place and the experience.

"Our own prayer there, I suspect, will be less about necessity than about timing: "Lord, let this cup be delayed! Not yet! I know it's inevitable, but just give me more time, more years, more experience, more life first!"

"To feel that way is understandable and, if we're young, even a sign of health. Nobody should want to die or want to give up the good things of this life. But Gethsemane awaits us all. Most of us, however, will not enter this garden of liminal space voluntarily, as did Jesus ("Nobody takes my life, I give it up freely!"). Most of us will enter it by conscription, but just as really, on that day when a doctor tells us we have terminal cancer or we suffer a heart attack or something else irretrievably and forever alters our lives.

"When that does happen, and it will happen one way or the other to all of us, it's helpful to know that we're in liminal space, inside a new womb, undergoing a new gestation, waiting for new birth - and that it's okay to sweat a little blood, ask God some questions, and feel resistance in every cell of our being."

Birthday Pictures!

No pictures were taken on my birthday, but some were taken in San Antonio yesterday when I was with my oldest and youngest children and my only grandchild! I felt like my birthday celebration continued with them.

MJ, DC and Avery

We went to lunch at The Cove restaurant ("burgers with conscience"), where I had wonderful fish tacos. As we got up to leave, we noticed that DC and MJ had greenish stains on their shirts, oddly similar. Then DC looked at Avery's bottom and realized that something had oozed out! The shade of green was strangely familiar to what she had just eaten--avocado plus zucchini-broccoli medley (for future eliminations).

Jan, MJ and Avery
(I don't close my eyes outside, with no camera flash.)

We spent some time at Trinity University before DC and Avery drove back to Austin. Then I got to spend the rest of the day with MJ, ending with dinner at one of my favorite restaurants in San Antonio, Twin Sisters, which was first opened in 1981 by twin sisters. My dinner of butternut squash/cheese enchiladas topped with green chili sauce was memorable! So good that I may try to duplicate the recipe.

DC and Avery

MJ and Avery

After dinner, I left MJ with her homework and drove 2 1/2 hours back to Corpus Christi.

Ten years ago I was driving to and from San Antonio once to twice every week while I was take classes at Oblate School of Theology. I did that for 6-7 years and am really glad I am not doing that now. I loved the instruction and learning, but I would not like to drive so much a decade later.

Hell

I believe that we make our own Heaven or Hell for ourselves here on earth. To have faith long ago, I had to give up the idea of the reward of Heaven or punishment of Hell, because I kept second-guessing myself, asking: "Do I believe only for the promised end?"

I was helped greatly by Father Kelly Nemeck, founder of Lebh Shomea, House of Prayer, retreat center in Sarita, TX, who spoke once about Hell in 2000. He said he did not believe in Hell, but even if it does exist in physical space, it is empty! Father Kelly is a contemplative, a spiritual director, an author of many books, and someone I admire greatly.

In classes at Oblate School of Theology, I learned that some scholars believe that Jesus referred to Gehenna for the place we interpret as "Hell." Gehenna was the garbage dump for ancient Jerusalem; the refuse was constantly burning. Poor people lived around the areas, trying to find means to live.

I have friends who fear the prospect of Hell. And so I was struck by Ken Wilber's words in his book about his wife's cancer and eventual death, Grace and Grit: Spirituality and Healing in the Life and Death of Treya Killam Wilber:

(this is a conversation between Treya and Ken)

Treya: "And you're saying that not just the eastern mystics but also the Western mystics actually define sin and Hell as being due to the separate self?"

Ken: "The separate self and its loveless grasping, desiring, avoiding--yes, definitely. It's true that the equation of Hell or samsara with the separate self is strongly emphasized in the East, particularly in Hinduism and Buddhism. But you find an essentially similar theme in the writings of the Catholic, Gnostic, Quaker, Kabbalistic, and Islamic mystics. My favorite is from the remarkable William Law, an 18th-century Christian mystic from England; I'll read it to you:

'See here the whole truth in short. All sin, death, damnation, and hell is nothing else but this kingdom of self, or the various operations of self-love, self-esteem, and self-seeking which separate the soul from God and end in eternal death and hell.'
~~William Law

"Or remember the great Islamic mystic Jalaluddin Rumi's famous saying:

'If you have not seen the devil, look at your own self.'
~~Rumi

"Or the Sufi Abi 'l-Khayr:

'There is no Hell but selfhood, no Paradise but selflessness.'
~~Abi 'l-Khayr

"This is also behind the Christians mystics' assertion that, as the Theologia Germanica put it, nothing burns in Hell but self-will." (85-86)

Not alone

Last week Mad Priest posted this nagging image on his blog; it can be taken either positively or negatively.


While I was suffering through so much pain recently, I kept remembering those eyes--as a symbol of God/Love who is always present. Sometimes we can glimpse more and even feel the presence of something, like a warm Labrador Retriever. Other times, there just seems to be emptiness. Holding onto the word or memory helps, especially through friends, family, meditation, and taking one step at a time.

I try to remember that the ABSENCE of God is actually the PRESENCE of the Holy One. That piece of wisdom is from Karl Rahner via Father Makothokat, a professor at Oblate School of Theology. How grateful I am for that insight, which helps me to go on.

~~~~~~~~~~
Yesterday I went to see the rheumatologist recommended by friends. He spent an hour with me and then sent me for blood tests, a bone scan, and x-rays. I meet with him again next week to learn the results of these tests. I am staying on the Prednisone (steroid) that my family practice doctor prescribed (again) last week, and so am moving around and am feeling optimistic.

I appreciate all of you who have been supporting me through thoughts, prayers, comments, and suggestions. You help me to sense the presence of that Dog/God!

Jan. Friends: Telephone

Remember playing with tin cans as phones when we were kids? I doubt that anyone does that anymore.

I have three telephone friends, which is paradoxical as I don't like to make phone calls. These three friends and I have scheduled times to call each week; though we sometimes miss times, we always come back to calling.

That happened today with my friend Judy, who used to live here in Corpus Christi and now lives in Fort Worth. When she moved there, we committed to calling each other once a week. One week I would call, and the next week she called. This was new for both of us, since neither of us were phone callers. But it worked and kept us together as spiritual friends.

A few years ago my best friend from junior high Nancy and I started calling each other on Sunday evenings. She is a school teacher in California and so this time works out best for her. I'll have to write about her someday because we became friends in 7th grade while our parents were stationed at Yokosuka Naval Base in Japan.

I am not as consistent with my other telephone friend, Nance. I was much more regular about calling her on my early morning drives to San Antonio starting in 2000 when I was going to Oblate School of Theology for classes. In the past few years, I have not been as regular as I once was.

I have lost touch with other friends here in Corpus Christi, since I do not call them. I guess I need more accountability, which comes from making weekly appointments (for me). It hasn't worked when friends and I have semi-agreed to call once a month--we fizzle out.

Pray for Margie

Please pray for my friend Margie. She is in ICU for pneumonia and sepsis. She just returned from a trip to Holland on Sunday night.

I have known Margie since I joined the Methodist Church in 1994. She was one of the Disciple I leaders that year when I started my Christian journey. After that, she and I were in the same Emmaus Reunion group and went to Lebh Shomea on retreats together. Margie and I loved to read and study together. One semester she even traveled with me to San Antonio every week to take a scripture class on Acts from Sister Sarah Sharkey, OP (an Adrian Dominican sister) at Oblate School of Theology. She is one of the founding members of the Lectio Divina Group that continues to meet every Wednesday at FUMC of Corpus Christi; the group started in 1997.

I'm floundering in deep water

Well, that's what I feel like at times, though it is a sunny and beautiful day here in south TX. I am always surprised at the way God startles me in our weekly Lectio Divina group. This does not happen every week, but I was overturned with the memory and invitation I received two days ago. The scripture was Luke 5:3-6 (the entire lectionary reading is Luke 5:1-11):

5:3 He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little way from the shore. Then he sat down and taught the crowds from the boat.
5:4 When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, "Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch."
5:5 Simon answered, "Master, we have worked all night long but have caught nothing. Yet if you say so, I will let down the nets."
5:6 When they had done this, they caught so many fish that their nets were beginning to break.

In the silences I kept pondering "out into the deep water." Suddenly I was surprised by a forgotten memory. I grew up on different military bases, which always offered swimming lessons for base children in the summertime at the pools on base. When I was about 11 years old, in between 6th and 7th grades in Yokosuka, Japan, I was in a small group of kids that was being taught to dive. I was terrified, not realizing until much later that I had been warned against diving ever since I fractured my skull in first grade. The instructor kept demanding that I try again and again until I did it. The authority of this young man and probably the peer pressure of the other kids prompted me to keep going. I recall fear, anguish (and crying) and eventually triumph. And I see how I needed someone to call me to account.Well, the floundering is connected with my pull to deep water, which is something I have been avoiding for years. As mentioned in intermittent posts (especially this one from June 27, 2009), I have never written the final scholarly papers to receive my Master's degree in Theology from the Oblate School of Theology in San Antonio. In fact, I think the last class I took there was the month-long trip to Zambia in 2006.

A new friend at church CS, a former high school English teacher, offered to help me get going on this project a month ago. She suggested that I contact the school and find out what needs to be done to get going again. I never did anything until the Lectio group a few days ago. I certainly tend to let things slide when left on my own. . . .

I emailed a friend at OST, who then referred me to the registrar, who then sent me to consult with the advisor for lay persons in the MaTH program. The latter finally told me that he was the one who could decide on an "extension" for me. He sent me the newest guidelines, which showed that now I only have to write ONE paper and not three.

BUT he reiterated the one guideline that stumped me all these years: "Please be careful to note that the topic must be innovative (break new ground in research) and so focused that issue is nearly exhausted in 20 pages." HOW CAN I BREAK NEW GROUND??

I am stuck because I don't feel innovative and questioning enough to come up with an idea that "breaks new ground in research."

That is why I am feeling like I am in deep water, not knowing what to grab.

The only thing I am sure of are the invitations that God keeps extending for people to help me. Can I be humble enough to tell them I am lost?

Only gratitude

ocean

I love the sound of ocean waves on the west coast, so that is the Pacific Ocean. I cannot remember that from the east coast, but I'm sure the waves look and sound just as beautiful on that side of the USA. I am grateful for the latest memory of waves while we stayed at Moclips, WA this past August.

Oblate School of Theology

I am grateful for the seven years I went to Oblate School of Theology in San Antonio. In that time, my faith and knowledge grew (just as Fran's is now), as well as confidence in myself. Often I was one of the best students in classes of mostly male Roman Catholic seminarians. I am grateful that I got to go to Zambia for a month in 2006 as a member of a class entitled: "Global Ethics, with a concentration on Zambia."

opals

Opals are my birthstone as my birthday is in October. My mother gave me a fire opal ring and a fire opal pin, though the pin was stolen when the other jewelry was taken in 2003 (while I was in San Antonio going to school at OST). I've been told that there is an old wives' tale that it is bad luck for people to wear opals if their birthday is not in October, so I am grateful the opal is my birthstone.

oatmeal

I love oatmeal for breakfast cooked with raisins and peanut butter stirred in when it is cooked. Creamy and delicious! How grateful I am for the idea of putting peanut butter in my oatmeal.

Maybe getting unstuck

Here I am sitting in the bedroom of my cousin's house in Calgary, with the window open and cool air floating in. What a contrast this is to being in TX with the heat wave that's going on there--only recycled air conditioned air in our home.

I was wondering whether to write about something that happened at the "Demystifying Mysticism" conference and only decided to do so after checking my email and finding a zenhabits article on "The Most Powerful Way to Get Unstuck." So here is what happened in San Antonio earlier this week:

The first night I was there, I was excited to see one of my favorite professors, Father M, who is from India and knows at least five languages. He was a severe and demanding instructor, and I loved his classes. It was funny at the oral final for the second class of his, he was disappointed to learn I was not Catholic and told me that I was "more Catholic than most of the other students." (I think he just meant that I learned well.)

Anyway, he hugged me and we chatted. I had not seen him for 3-4 years and he still remembered my name. He told me how the school was discussing why so many lay people in the master's of theology program never finished their degrees. That's me--never have written the three scholarly papers. Fr. M. said he was helping two students to finish their degrees.

Later I mentioned this to one of the assistant deans of the school, and she advised me to talk to the school's head dean. When I asked about maybe Fr. M helping me, she said that was a possibility because he recently retired. BUT later that evening, she told me she'd talked to him, and Fr. M said he didn't want to cross the MAth's advisor (always the same man).

I had been so excited by these encounters, only to feel my hopes dashed. For three years I have not written the papers and have had no contact with the advisor, who always seemed indifferent to me, possibly as I'm a Protestant lay woman. I know I was not assertive enough or motivated to pursue it, but I would have appreciated someone who was interested in me.

After praying, I decided to write Fr. M a letter, because conversations were difficult with the hundreds of people attending the conference. I wrote him a three-page handwritten letter, asking him to consider becoming my advisor. I said I would talk to the president and the MAth advisor if he agreed. I gave him my email address and two phone numbers and asked him to contact me.

I felt good about that, especially as I also told him how much he'd increased my faith life. Fr. M is the one who told me about Karl Rahner's teaching that the perceived absence of God is really the PRESENCE of God. He thanked me for the letter when I gave it to him, but I have not heard from him--though that was only three days ago.

At least, I took some action for a change. Irregardless of the outcome, I was blessed with Fr. M remembering me and our connection while talking.

"Demystifying Mysticism" Conference

I am leaving for Calgary, Alberta, Canada tomorrow for the next week, but I want to put some of the highlights here from the "Demystifying Mysticism" Summer Institute at Oblate School of Theology--or I'll never do it! (Next year their Summer Institute will have Walter Brueggemann as the main speaker!)

Thomas Keating:

• a mystic is anyone with a human soul
• Human problem is that we don't have a big enough idea of God
• Mysticism is the reality of Divine Presence
• Due to God's humility, God wants to raise everyone up to the Divine level.
• The Word is vibrating, so we must vibrate at the same level to receive it. Thus we need to practice in be-ing.
• To gain Jesus' consciousness is the Kingdom of God
• Greatest thing we can give God is to allow God to love us
• Gift of contemplative prayer is already given to us. It is an innate gift. It is how to consent to whom you already are.
• Humans build walls, doors, boundaries--but there are NONE.
• atheism has its own dogmas
• God's presence is deepening in us all the time.
• Practice of prayer helps us to fall away from our habitual thoughts.
• 12 Steps of AA is the deepest experience of Christianity. We become willing for God to take away our faults as our own efforts will not succeed.
  

Jan Puckett on Buddhist Mysticism:

• Begin any activity with well wishes for others
• "Don't believe everything you think." --Pema Chodron
• wisdom + compassion = awareness

Susan Gibler on Contemporary Earth Mysticism:

• everything we do every day affects the earth
• what we do and think matters and affects each other
• our job is to love what God loves
• song from Jan Novotka:

May all I do today

be for the healing of the whole
May all I do today
Mend this broken world
May all I do today
Bring blessing on the Earth
May all I do today
Be for the good of all
All I do today.

Sylvia Maddox on Celtic Christianity:

• Thanks be to God that I have risen today
• Bless whatever we use or do so it might be used for God
• All activities are encircled in God's care; all is connected.

This is just a smattering of what I saw and heard. The overall emphasis was on sitting in silence with God as a daily practice, which will increase our awareness of our unity with all creation. Centering prayer or such silent practice is a response to God's love and a way to increase human consciousness to the next level.

June 24

June 24 was/is my dad's birthday. If he had not died in 2002, he would be 87 today. I always remember my parents' birthdays, even though they both have died.

In contrast, a vigorous Thomas Keating spoke at the conference at the age of 86. He flew in from London the day before he spoke and today flew to speak in Washington, DC.

Today is also the Feast of John the Baptist. I learned that this day is observed as John of the Cross' birthday, though Fr. Kelly Nemeck said it was either his birthday or his baptismal date (in 1542), because it is known that John's mother named him after John the Baptist.

Also, today was my son DC's last day of work. We hope he'll find a new job soon as a construction supervisor or assistant supervisor. At least his wife AA has a good job. They live in Austin.

And I am back from the conference "Demystifying Mysticism" in San Antonio. I left before the last talk that was given by Ron Rolheiser (which is currently going on), because I had to drive for 2 1/2 hours. All the way home the car thermometer registered at 102 degrees F. (The conference was excellent.)

The Week Ahead

This coming week seemed far away until now. Here it is! Tomorrow I am driving to San Antonio for two nights and three days. I'll be attending the Summer Institute at Oblate School of Theology, which this year is entitled "Demystifying Mysticism." The main speakers will be Fr. Thomas Keating
and Fr. Kelly Nemeck, OMI, founder of Lebh Shomea House of Prayer in Sarita, TX,

and Fr. Ronald Rolheiser, OMI, current president of Oblate School of Theology.
They are all authors of excellent books, especially about contemplative prayer.

I went to my first OST Summer Institute in 2000, when I was considering enrolling at the school. Back then it was sparsely attended and was set in the old part of the school. Now hundreds will be there--at the Oblate Renewal Center, which is also where I attended the Two Year Spiritual Formation Academy with Katherine E. and the recent Shalem retreat.


I'll return home on Wednesday night and then on Friday will fly to Calgary, Alberta, Canada to visit my cousin Margaret and attend her daughter's wedding in Banff. I'll write more about that right before I leave.