Mother and Child

Statue at The Hermitage
Saint Petersburg, Russia

Merry Christmas!

Church of the Resurrection and Spilled Blood
Saint Petersburg, Russia

Mary

At Cathedral of the Resurrection and Spilled Blood
Saint Petersburg, Russia

All the pictures in this cathedral are mosaics, but to my untrained eye, they looked like paintings.

My Russian Host Family

Two weeks ago, very early on Friday morning Nov. 4, I was met at the dark train station in Vologda, Russia by my host family. They graciously took care of me for the next five days and nights. The parents, Sveta and Zehnya, are about the ages of my oldest son and his wife. Their two children are boys, who are 3 and 6 years old.

Dima, Sveta (mom), and Vladic

Moscow, Russia

Painting on the wall of the Russian United Methodist Seminary in Moscow.

With only one day to tour Moscow, we visited the Methodist Seminary in Moscow and toured the city on a bus on Nov. 3, 2011. Read about the seminary here.

This building is the Russian United Methodist Seminary.

This was right before a holiday (Unity Day) and so the traffic was quite congested. It turned out that Red Square was closed to the public, because groups were rehearsing for the upcoming military parade for the following Monday:

I later learned that:
"Thousands of Russian soldiers and military cadets marched across Red Square to mark the 70th anniversary of a historic World War II parade.The show honored the participants of the Nov. 7 1941 parade who then headed directly to the front to defend Moscow from the Nazi forces. The parade Monday involved about 6,000 people, many of them dressed in World War II-era uniforms."

Read more: http://www.seattlepi.com/news/article/Russia-marks-anniversary-of-1941-military-parade-2256020.php#ixzz1dp7k1Rfc

We took the metro (subway) to the train station where we met our bus and got our luggage. The artistry of the metro stations was amazing, with statues, mosaics, interesting ceilings. In the Revolution Square metro station, there are bronze statues depicting Soviet workers. One has a dog that is reputed to give you good luck if you rub its nose, which we all did:

Then we boarded a train from Moscow to Vologda, a trip that took us almost 8 hours. We slept in cars which had four bunk beds and arrived at 5:30 am the next day.

Our Russia Trip

Before checking-in at San Antonio Airport on Nov. 1:

Mary Tom, Judy, Gloria, Joan, Paige, Ann, Jan, Katherine

I never posted much about my trip to Spain to see MJ in April, but I am determined to put pictures and comments up about this most recent trip to Russia, which was participating in the United Methodist Russian Initiative. 8 of the 14 members of the group were from Corpus Christi and are pictured above--after husband CB drove us in the FUMC van to the San Antonio Airport.

I wrote earlier about the delayed flights to Moscow, which resulted in us having only one day to "see" Moscow. On one of our stops, we walked around street sellers, not quite realizing then that everywhere we would go, we would see these nesting dolls, called matryoshka dolls:

Home!

No delays on the flights from St. Petersburg, Russia. Dear husband CB met me at the San Antonio Airport last night, as did youngest daughter MJ. Wonderful to see them!

During the 33 hours since awaking at 3 am in St. Petersburg on November 12 and finally getting home to Corpus Christi, TX at 11 pm on November 12, I did NOT sleep at all, unlike some of my friends.

Mary Jane, Ann, and Paige asleep on the final leg of our journey.

That was probably a good thing, because I slept 11 hours last night--from midnight to 10 am this morning. Yay! But I've been waning since dinner and will go to bed after being awake after only 11 hours. Maybe the jet lag will not be as bad as when I returned from Spain in the spring.

I am glad to be home. It was wonderful for everyone in our group to arrive in the USA when we debarked at Dulles Airport in Washington, DC. We were (are) really glad to be back in the States!

It is about 60 degrees warmer here than in Russia today, and so I enjoyed hanging clothes on the clothesline in the warm sunshine.


Now it is time for me to go to bed. Good night!

Coming home!

Flying home. If all goes well, I will get to San Antonio tonight at 8:30.

Going home. . . .

“My friend, you thought you lost Him;
that all your life you've been separated from Him.
Filled with wonder, you've always looked outside for Him,
and haven't searched within your own house.”

~~Rumi

Feeling alone

Today is our last full day in Russia. We'll be in St. Petersburg and will visit the Church of the Spilled Blood.


When I hurt, I sometimes feel that you have left me.

I share the hurt of those first disciples when Jesus left them

But now I know your absence can become a new space for your presence. Amen.

~~Richard L. Morgan

Ed. Rene O. Bideaux. A Book of Personal Prayer. Nashville: Upper Room Books, 1997. 56.

Remember how God's perceived absence is actually God's presence??


This is today's prayer at A Place for Prayer, a ministery of RevGalBlogPals.

In Community

Today we are touring St. Petersburg (in community).

Today I remembered this circle when thinking of community. Dorotheus of Gaza, a desert Abba in the 6th century, drew a circle in the sand with lines drawn to meet in the center. The lines represent our spiritual journeys: the closer we come to God, the closer we are to each other. Plus, I think we then may realize that all was in God from the very beginning.

Dorotheus wrote:
“Imagine that the world is a circle, that God is the center, and that the radii are the different ways human beings live. When those who wish to come closer to God walk towards the center of the circle, they come closer to one another at the same time as to God. The closer they come to God, the closer they come to one another. And the closer they come to one another, the closer they come to God.” (Instructions VI.)

What would Jesus read?

Today we will arrive in St. Petersburg!

Empty Words

Today we leave Vologda on the train and go to St. Petersburg.

by Hugh MacLeod

“You are fed up with words, and I don’t blame you. I am nauseated by them sometimes. I am also, to tell the truth, nauseated by ideals and with causes. This sounds like heresy, but I think you will understand what I mean. It is so easy to get engrossed with ideas and slogans and myths that in the end one is left holding the bag, empty, with no trace of meaning left in it. And then the temptation is to yell louder than ever in order to make meaning be there again by magic. . . .

“The real hope, then, is not in something we can do, but in God who is making something good out of it in some way we cannot see. If we can do God’s will, we will be helping in this process. But we will not necessarily know all about it beforehand.”

~~Thomas Merton

From Russia with Love!

The only place I've had internet access in Russia has been in Vologda with my host family, but only tonight could I decipher the Russian alphabet to get to sign in! Since I'll be leaving by train to go to Saint Petersburg tomorrow, I may not have internet again until I get home. (But I've pre-posted things for each day I'm gone.)

We got to Moscow 14 hours later than scheduled because our original flight from San Antonio left hours after its published departure time. With only 42 minutes of transfer time in Washington, DC, we missed our connecting flight by a long period. The 13 of us rushed to find a ticket counter to get re-booked, which took many tense moments in the next 45 minutes.

The first 10 people were booked on a 7 pm flight to London, but three of us were left to go on an 11 pm flight. Through this experience with Billie and Mary Jane, we became a close-knot group of friends, especially surprising since Mary Jane and I had not known Billie. With hours to wait and a long flight to London, we were exhausted and relieved to arrive in Moscow the next evening.

When we walked into the terminal after we got our baggage and with through customs, NO ONE was there to meet us! WHERE were our friends? We kept looking around and then panic began to set in--not being able to speak Russian and not knowing what to do was scary. Billie tried to use her cell phone, but could not get through to anyone. When we tried to find someone who could speak English, a taxi driver attached himself to us and followed us around, trying to convince us that he could take us to our hotel for 60,000 rubles. Feeling abandoned by our team members, none of us felt secure. I am glad to say that we did not go with the taxi driver. After 1 1/2 hours, finally Mary Jane spotted another friend, Mary Tom (such Texan names!), with a Russian woman coming towards!!

It turns out that everyone had been UPSTAIRS the entire time!! The Russian woman who turned out to be the representative sent to greet us and Mary Tom had been trying to locate her missing luggage which had come on OUR plane. But the rep. had said we'd be late and so probably showed up after we'd left the area and could not see us. At least, they all waited upstairs and checked again later.

What's odd for me was that I broke down crying--all the feelings of abandonment, fear and exhaustion overwhelmed me. None of the members upstairs understood that we'd been there the entire time, but thought we had JUST arrived! It all seemed so unfair.

The days that followed improved my mood. We had only one day in Moscow, which was spent in a bus driving around. Even Red Square was closed because groups were marching around it, practicing for today's parade that commemorated the Russsian army turning back the Germans from Moscow in 1941. The exciting moment of the day was riding the subway to the train station, where we departed for Vologda.

An all-night train ride got us to Vologda at 5:30 am where our host families met us. My wonderful host family are about the ages of my oldest son and his wife (DC and AA).I will write about them and their sweet little boys when I get back home. They have been wonderful to me.

Later in the day our conference started, which lasted until Sunday evening. It was for the Methodist pastors and some laity in this district, which comprises five Methodist churches. I gave a talk each of the three days:

• Contemplative Prayer
• Breath Prayer and "Bless_____, change me."
• Lectio Divina

And today it snowed! Only about 1/2 inch, but this was the first snowfall of the season. That must be why our host families were upset that it was below freezing (-11 degrees C.) the morning before.

Tomorrow afternoon we'll take a 12-hour train ride to Saint Petersburg.

Aim Your Flashlight!

Still in Vologda.


Here is another story from Gregory Boyle's book, Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion:

While Pedro was in rehab, his younger brother Jovan committed suicide. When Pedro returns from rehab, Father G. tells him about a dream he had about Pedro and himself: They are in a dark room, with no light. Then Father G. retrieves a flashlight from his pocket and turns it on:

". . .I shine this narrow beam of light on the switch. I don't speak. I just hold the beam steady, unwavering. Pedro says that even though no words are exchanged, he knows he is the only one who can turn this light switch on. He thanks me for happening to have a flashlight. . . He arrives at the switch, and takes a deep breath, and flips it on. The room is flooded with light."

And this is what is going on while Father G. is relating his dream:

"He (Pedro) is now sobbing at this point, in the telling of the dream. And with a voice of astonishing discovery, he says, 'And the light. . . is better . . . than the darkness.'

"As if he did not previously know this to be the case. He's weeping, unable to continue. Then he says, 'I guess. . . my brother. . . just never found the light switch.'

Possessing flashlights and occasionally knowing where to aim them has to be enough for us. Fortunately, none of us can save anybody. But we all find ourselves in this dark, windowless, room, fumbling for grace and flashlights. You aim the light this time, and I'll do it the next." (127-128)

Boyle, Gregory. Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion. NY: Free Press, 2010.

Our love and friendship shine the light for for both ourselves and others. Acting in love is how to aim the light outwards.

Thinking of Heaven

The program for Methodist clergy and laity continues in Vologda.

Heaven,
What is heaven?
Will we finally stop
to wander
in the wonderland?

Life is not heaven.
Love is!

From eternity
the life of love
speaks of Heaven.

"Live on, then, in my Love,"
in my heaven.

O little soul,
why must you know more?

There is no more than
Me to know.

I am the Way of love,
the Truth of love
and your Life of Love!

In me,
you are in Heaven.

~~Patricia J. Bruno

Bruno, Patricia J. Waiting for the Echo. NY: iUniverse, Inc., 2007. 29.

Happy Birthday to MJ!!

Today is MJ's birthday! As I remember her birth 22 years ago, I will be helping in the program for Russian Methodist clergy and laity in Vologda.

6 month old MJ

Happy Birthday, dear daughter!

Breath Prayers

Today we will arrive in Vologda in the morning and meet the families we are staying with. The next five nights and days will be in this city. Our program for Methodist clergy and laity starts this afternoon.

One thing I am going to talk about is the Breath Prayer:

The breath prayer is a short prayer of about 7 syllables that one uses to remind oneself of God. Sometimes I think to myself, "This is holy ground," even in the car! That is a peaceful, lovely reminder of God for me.

STEP 1

Sit comfortably and calm yourself. Close your eyes and be mindful that you are in God's loving presence.

STEP 2

With your eyes still closed, imagine that God is calling you by name. Hear God asking, "(your name), what do you want?"

STEP 3

Answer God directly with whatever comes honestly from your heart. Your answer may be no more than a single word, such as peace or love or forgiveness. Your answer might instead be a phrase or a brief sentence, such as "I want to feel your forgiveness" or "I want to know your love." Whatever your response, it will be at the heart of your prayer.

STEP 4

Choose your favorite name or image for God. Choices people commonly make include God, Shepherd, Jesus, Spirit, Lord, Christ, Father, Mother.

STEP 5

Combine your name for God with your answer to God's question "What do you want" and you have your prayer.

EXAMPLES:

What I want: rest

Name I call God: Shepherd

Possible prayer: MY SHEPHERD, LET ME REST IN THEE.

What I want: to be led

Name I call God: Father

Possible prayer: LEAD ME ON MY WAY, DEAR FATHER.

What I want: love

Name I call God: My Lord

Possible prayer: MY LORD, LET ME FEEL YOUR LOVE.

You can find info about this on the internet, by searching for "breath prayer" and here is a site that has much of the same info I put here: http://www.presence.org/hoh/hoh_breath.htm

One idea is to ask God to help you find your own breath prayer when you go to bed at night, and in the morning that is often revealed.

Prayer of Teresa of Avila

Today I am in Moscow. Tonight our group will leave on a train for Vologda.


May you be blessed forever, Lord, for not abandoning me when I abandoned you.
May you be blessed forever, Lord, for offering your hand of love in my darkest, most lonely moment.
May you be blessed forever, Lord, for loving me more than I love myself.
May you be blessed forever, Lord, for continuing to pour your blessings upon me, even though I respond so poorly.
May you be blessed forever, Lord, for drawing out the goodness in all people, even including me.
May you be blessed forever, Lord, for repaying our sin with your love.
May you be blessed forever, Lord, for being constant and unchanging, amidst all the changes of the world.
May you be blessed forever, Lord, for your countless blessings on me and on all your creatures.

~~Teresa of Avila (1515-1582)

Ed. Lyn Klug. Soul Weavings: A Gathering of Women's Prayers. Minneapolis: Augsburg, 1996. 17.

This is today's prayer at A Place for Prayer, a ministery of RevGalBlogPals.

Love Melts Away

If all went well, we will be arriving in Moscow today! And we hope our luggage will get there with us!

From Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion by Gregory Boyle:

Among all the stories told, there is one about a young man named Fabian, who tries to accept others in different gangs through Homeboy Industries:

"Fabian was spectacular at building good and enduring friendships with his 'enemies' at Homeboy. His tenderness knew no equal, really. He would visit an enemy undergoing brutal chemotherapy and supply him with videos to distract him from the ordeal. He'd do reconnaissance of the hospital area to make sure that none of his enemies were also visiting at the same time.

"His enemies wouldn't understand. Once, Fabian was stuck in the backseat of a car filled with his homeboys who were giving him a ride home.

"'Hey, look,' one of them screams in the car, 'that's that fool, Froggy.' The alarmist in the car is pointing at an enemy walking by himself on First Street. 'Let's bomb on his ass.'

"The car pulls over, and Fabian works his magic. 'Kick back, you guys. That's my primo.'

"'Serio, he's your cousin?'

"'Yeah--my tia's son.'

"And the car swerves back into merging traffic. Froggy was an enemy Fabian had come to know from our office. They are not related.

"I just don't know how Fabian managed it.

"With more mystery than I can explain away, Fabian locked on to the singularity of that love that melts you. It doesn't melt who you are, but who you are not. Turns out he wasn't all the abuse he endured. He was something else, astonishing and glorious." (102-103)

Boyle, Gregory. Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion. NY: Free Press, 2010.

When I look at changes in my life, especially concerning habits or reactions, I can see that LOVE melted who I was. I hope LOVE keeps on melting me into my true self!

Leaving for Russia!!

Today our group leaves for Russia! At 7 am, husband CB will drive the FUMC bus with all the Corpus Christi people on this mission trip to the airport in San Antonio. The tricky part of this journey is the transferring to the flight to Moscow at Dulles Airport--in 42 minutes!

Hope not!

For this trip, I have pre-posted quotes, prayers, and such on this blog. Each day while I am gone, something will appear, including cartoons! And here is an example:

“No one longs for what he or she already has, and yet the accumulated insight of those wise about the spiritual life suggests that the reason so many of us cannot see the red X that marks the spot is because we are standing on it. The treasure we seek requires no lengthy expedition, no expensive equipment, no superior aptitude or special company. All we lack is the willingness to imagine that we already have everything we need. The only thing missing is our consent to be where we are.”

~~Barbara Brown Taylor, An Altar in the World. NY: Harper One, 2009. xiv, xv.