
a box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand
that this too, was a gift."
Mary Oliver, "The Uses of Sorrow"
in Thirst: Beacon Press 2006

Cat

July 1990
Although it was extremely hot, it was joyous and happy!
See how happy I was, especially dancing with my son?
This is the front of our house, with a wonderfully large, old live oak tree to the right.
There is the gate on our driveway, which is needed to keep the two dogs in the back yard. The roofers were not happy to put the dumpster this far back, but did it at our insistence.
This just caught my fancy as I was looking at images of barking dogs.
These 90 calorie packets of crunchy little bites that are drizzled with caramel icing help satisfy my sweet tooth, especially as I eat one at a time.
At today's Weight Watcher meeting, I learned about Yoplait yogurt parfaits, called "Delights." I don't usually like yogurt, but I bought a package of the only flavor left (caramel) at the store. I ate one this afternoon and found it to be delicious and only 100 calories.**The lemon ones are so wonderful!!**
Until the above two items were discovered, my one decadent snack each evening was the WW cookies and cream ice cream bar. It is very good.
I have few words, thoughts, feelings these days. You'd think that since I am sitting in silence twice a day with God, I'd have some holy moment to explore here, but no. Just not much is going on. Maybe I'm blogged out.
Holy Spirit,
Giving life to all life,
Moving all creatures,
Root of all things,
Washing them clean,
Wiping out their mistakes,
Healing their wounds,
You are our true life,
Luminous, wonderful,
Awakening the heart
From its ancient sleep.
~Hildegard of Bingen
Often we anxiously seek the will of God,
as if God had gleefully hidden dreams for us
deep in unfathomable places.
As if it were God's intention
that our whole lives be spent
in endless searching for signs and directions
buried in obscurity.
The will of God is that which brings us
peace and fullness of life.
The will of God is the seed of our dreams
ever gestating with possibility
and longing to leap forward
scattering new and surprising blessings
in our gray reality.
~~Edwina Gateley
Dorothy Day by Robert Lentz, OFM
The philosopher Alfred North Whitehead said of all this:
Brother Robert Lentz
AE and KA gave husband CB a t-shirt with the chemical sign of iron. He likes to wear it to his chemistry class (chem. for nursing students) on the night of the first test. That was last night at the local community college.
From The Huffington PostThinking of your childhood as a stairway, when did you feel (and how did you feel then)
1. at the bottom?
When I had to tell kids that I went to TWO years of kindergarten, because they always asked me if I'd FLUNKED! I didn't--I moved from WA State to VA after one year of kindergarten, and when I got to VA my birthday in October was too late for me to start first grade.
2. at the top?
When I was in second grade and could read the colored (Red, blue, etc.) fairy tale books on my own, because I was such a good reader. I loved reading and reading. (Still do.)
3. halfway?
The one semester I was in a 3/4 grades combination class before going into 5th grade was my halfway period between 3rd and 5th grades. A new elementary school had been built, so those of us living on Camp Pendleton, CA were sent there. That's where I was put into the 3/4 combination class; it was also where I was tested during various class periods to determine whether I could skip 4th grade, though I did not know that until later.
(So if you look at #1, you can see that I ended up where I would have been if I had not had to repeat kindergarten because of my age! Thus, I was 17 when I graduated from high school and started college.)
4. At this point in your life, where would you place yourself on your own stairway?
I keep moving, but never seem to get to the top. I like to think I'm where "it isn't up" and "it isn't down", though I can creep lower on the stairs when I criticize myself for not getting those papers done for my master's degree!
5. Identify a place for you that "isn't really anywhere" but "somewhere else instead."
That definitely occurs when I'm reading, especially books like Harry Potter! Sometimes when I am in prayer, time can be like that, too.
And here's the poem this Friday Five was based upon:
Halfway down the stairs
Is a stair
Where I sit.
There isn't any
Other stair
Quite like
It.
I'm not at the bottom,
I'm not at the top;
So this is the stair
Where
I always
Stop.
Halfway up the stairs
Isn't up,
And isn't down.
it isn't in the nursery,
it isn't in the town.
And all sorts of funny thoughts
Run round my head:
"It isn't really
Anywhere!
It's somewhere else
Instead!"
— A. A. Milne

You have first loved us, O God, alas. We speak of it in terms of history, as if you have only loved us first but a single time, rather than that, without ceasing, you have loved us first many times and every day and our whole life through.
When we wake up in the morning and turn our soul to you, you are the first. You have loved us first; if I rise at dawn and at the same time turn my soul towards you in prayer, you are ahead of me; you have loved me first.
When I withdraw from the distractions of the day and turn my soul in thought towards you, you are the first and thus forever. And yet we always speak ungratefully as if you have loved us first only once.
I have nothing to write. It's even odd that I do not feel like writing handwritten notes or cards. Definitely no journaling. No original thought at all.

Since the weekend I have been deluged with SPAM email. This has not happened to me before to this extent. There are offers for employment, sex, dating, loans, money, free laptops, cell phones, anything you can think of. Most irritating.
Bright red lipstick. In fact, a new tube of red lipstick. That's what I immediately remembered when we were asked about our earliest memory in EFM today.Tuesday afternoon is EFM or Education for Ministry. This is my third year, which will be on church doctrine and history. That reminds me of the "Christian Believer" classes I led when I was at First Methodist. I always found that course invigorating, so this year of EFM should be very interesting.I can only fly freely
when I know there is a catcher to catch me.
If we are to take risks,
to be free,
in the air,
in life,
we have to know
that when we come down from it all,
we're going to be caught,
we're going to be safe.
The great hero is the least visible.
Trust the catcher.
Sally at RevGalBlogPals writes:God rest us.
Rest that part of us which is tired.
Awaken that part of us which is asleep.
God awaken us and awake within us.
Amen
By Michael Leunig

I was one of three friends giving a baby shower for the daughter of another friend today. Luckily, DT is a whiz at planning parties and getting things organized so PD and I were go-fers for her, so the party was all ready by 5 o'clock. It was fun, but lots of buzzing and chit-chat that after awhile got me hiding. So tonight I was glad to come home after we cleaned up, to be quiet.Jan Hilton starts most days sitting in a living room chair, facing an iconic image of Jesus created 1,400 years ago in a Middle Eastern monastery.
Before she prays and meditates there for 20 minutes, she looks into the eyes of the picture.
“It creates the right frame of mind,” she said. “It’s just remembering that in awareness of the quiet is the divine.”
A spiritual director at an Episcopal church in Corpus Christi, Hilton said that same feeling of connection to God is one that has been enriched by her interest in mysticism. She has enrolled in a class about modern mystics that will begin next month in San Antonio.
Called “Christian Mysticism: History, Wisdom and Insights,” the course will include scholars talking about mystics from various Christian faith traditions, organizers said. In addition to talks about mystics, time is set aside in class for participants to practice prayer and meditation.
The course begins Sept. 12 and continues for one Saturday a month through May. It is the last part of a larger three-year course about mysticism sponsored by the Contemplative Outreach of San Antonio, the Ecumenical Center for Religion and Health and the Oblate School of Theology. The course beginning in two weeks will focus on contemporary mystics, starting with those from the Russian Orthodox tradition, and includes Simone Weil and Thomas Merton.
The class is open to people of all faith backgrounds with an interest in Christian mysticism, regardless of whether they attended the earlier portions of the course, organizers said.
The course came about in response to a growing interest among Christians of many backgrounds united in a desire to have a deeper connection to God. Past classes explored ancient and medieval mystics, such as the teachings of desert monks, said Ed Alcott, the course coordinator and an adjunct professor at Oblate.
“Spirituality is really the reason for religion,” he said, “but we can get off topic and oftentimes we have deep spiritual people who can help bring us back.”
For Hilton, the course helped her continue the spiritual journey that began after her mother’s death 17 years ago. Not a regular at any church while growing up, she wanted to speak to God but didn’t know how. Now, she regularly quotes Father Thomas Keating, regarded as the founder of the centering prayer movement.
“I’m learning more about these people and admiring their depth of love and knowledge they attained,” she said. “And that there’s a commonality in mysticism among all religions that the source of all is one God and one love.”
Here’s the website about the program: www.christianmysticismsa.org.