Marvellous Error!

Last night, as I was sleeping,
I dreamt--marvellous error!--
that I had a beehive
here inside my heart.
And the golden bees
were making white combs
and sweet honey
from my old failures.

~~Antonio Machado,
from Time Alone

Find the entire poem here.

Our call

"So many terrible things happen every day that we start wondering whether the few things we do ourselves make any sense. When people are starving only a few thousand miles away, when wars are raging close to our borders, when countless people in our own cities have no homes to live in, our own activities look futile. Such considerations, however, can paralyse us and depress us.

"Here the word call becomes important. We are not called to save the world, solve all problems, and help all people. But we each have our own unique call, in our families, in our work, in our world. We have to keep asking God to help us see clearly what our call is and to give us the strength to live out that call with trust. Then we will discover that our faithfulness to a small task is the most healing response to the illnesses of our time."

~~Henri Nouwen

From the free daily message found at the Henri Nouwen webpage. Subscribe.

This is what I needed to read this morning as I muddle through my life.

Mad cat!

Mad Cat
by Oliver Polanski

Our cat Gracie is mad at me. She pooped right in front of where I sit and read. She has never done this before. When I am reading is usually when she comes over, purring loudly, to be petted.

What must have precipitated this "punishment" is that yesterday I hit her--spontaneously after she BIT me. I had never hit her before, and she has not bit me for a very long time. It was a shock.

In reality, I am more of a dog person than a cat person. Gracie is supposedly youngest daughter MJ's cat, but Gracie has come to prefer me over anyone else. Maybe because I am the one who feeds her.

Last night when I filled her dish, she did not purr, as she ordinarily does. Today she pooped on the rug.

Now we'll see how long her anger with me lasts. Maybe it's good that MJ is coming home today.

Over the limit

Hope you can read the caption, but if not, he is saying, "I'm just opening the mail--you should see the size of my mobile phone bill!"

I felt like that when I fortuitously checked the minutes on our family cell phone plan today. We were over our limit with 117 extra minutes! That is pretty expensive. CB is not happy.

He, AE, MJ, and I share phones on the family plan. Until Saturday we can only talk to each other, because those calls are free--or wait until 9 pm!

My eldest daughter

This is my second child, AE, who likes to tell me I am sentimental. Yes, I am--especially today because today is her birthday. She is 27.

I am remembering her birth, which abruptly occurred with only my husband in the birthing room. I'll always remember him yelling, "The baby's coming!" I think the nurse and doctor got there in time to help her feet and legs out.

AE is an intelligent, passionate woman who keeps trying new things. She is much braver than I am, being much more like my mother and grandmother who ventured to places where women rarely went. My mother was one of the first women Marines in WWII and my grandmother was a Suffragette.

Happy Birthday, AE!

French Mystics

Today I drove to San Antonio (and back) with a friend to go to the talk given by Dr. Wendy M. Wright on "The French Mystics." This is Year 2 of Christian Mysticism: History, Wisdom and Insights. It is sponsored by both Oblate School of Theology (where I may someday earn my master's degree in Theology) and Contemplative Outreach of San Antonio.


I last heard Wendy Wright speak at one of the sessions of the (two year) Academy for Spiritual Formation sponsored by the Upper Room in 2002. Then, she spoke about Roman Catholicism for five days. What I remember most is an image of a toddler Jesus inside a heart, sweeping it out. I think this was on her talk of "The Sacred Heart." (She even wrote a book entitled Sacred Heart: Gateway to God.) Being a Protestant, this emphasis upon the heart was new to me. I was surprised at how much I treasured the idea of baby Jesus sweeping out my heart! That still echoes within me, I don't know why. I have tried to find a copy of that picture from the middle ages, but have been unable to do so.

Today Dr. Wright whetted my curiosity about the French mystics I know little about. (Though she ended the discussion with Brother Lawrence and Jean Pierre de Caussade, whom I love and admire.)

I'll copy some of my notes for you below and list the main themes in each type of spirituality.

Characteristics of French Schools of Spirituality
1. Christocentric--want to "live" Jesus
--very Marian
2. Personal and ecclesial reform
3. Missionary
4. Male-female partnerships

Salesian Spirituality
Francis de Sales (1567-1622) and Jane de Chantal (1572-1641)
1. Christian humanism
--hearts are made to beat with God's heart's rhythm
2. Matthew 11:29-30
--Live Jesus! (which Francis and Jane wrote at the top of letters)
3. Little virtues such as gentleness, humility and patience
--The disciplines you don't choose are the most profoundly transformative.
4. Two arms of love--for God and neighbors
5. Friendship
--A virtue that changes us and helps us to grow, to make our hearts more generous.
6. Laity

Vincentian Spirituality
Vincent de Paul (1580-1660) and Louise de Marillac (1591-1660)
1. Luke 4: liberating vision of Jesus
2. God is present in our actions
--"God is love; we must come to him by love."
3. The poor
--"The poor are the privileged mediators of salvation"
4. Firm and flexible
--Be firm in your goals, but gentle and flexible in working towards them.
5. Rich and poor--connect through relationships

French (Berullian) School of Spirituality
Pierre de Berulle (1575-1629)
Jean Jacques Olier (1608-1657)
Jean/John Eudes (1601-1680)
1. Abstract mysticism
--influenced by neo-platonic thinking
2. States of Jesus
--enter by prayer into different times of Jesus' life
3. Servitude and Adoration (Nothingness and Grandeur)
--human as nothing; God adoringly Other
4. Clerical reform

Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary and the Rosary
Margaret Mary Alacoque (1647-1690) and Claude de la Columbiere (1641-1682)
--visions of Jesus asking for devotions to his heart
Louis de Montfort (1673-1716)
--codified and promulgated the Rosary

Later
Jean-Pierre de Caussade (1675-1751
Brother Lawrence of the Resurrection (1614-1691)

And she did not have time to discuss the controversies of Jansenism and Quietism.
~~~~~~~~~
Well, if anyone ever reads all these links, it will take a LONG time. I myself need to come back someday to read them.

Friday Five: Hasty Pudding Edition

Songbird helped out by proposing this Friday Five today about pudding.


1) First of all, thumbs up? or thumbs down? Do you like pudding?
2) Instant or cooked? (Does anyone make pudding from scratch?)
Cooked is better, even though I don't like it much either way--except for Creme Brulee, if I can count that!

3) If you had to choose, would you prefer corn pudding or figgy pudding?
Never having had either, I like the "sound" of figgy pudding.

4) Have you ever finger painted with pudding?
Having been both a mother and a primary school teacher, I have painted with pudding.

5) Finally, what is the matter with Mary Jane?
Mary Jane missed her nap today and is in a bad mood!

"Simple Gifts"

This morning at the end of our Renovare Meeting, two friends sang "Simple Gifts." One said she first heard it at the singing time after a Quaker Meeting in Maine. I had forgotten about this beautiful song and its simple, but profound, lyrics.

"Simple Gifts" was written by Elder Joseph Brackett while he was at the Shaker community in Alfred, Maine in 1848. These are the lyrics to his one-verse song:

'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free,

'Tis the gift to come down where you ought to be,

And when we find ourselves in the place just right,

'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.

When true simplicity is gain'd,

To bow and to bend we shan't be asham'd,

To turn, turn will be our delight,

Till by turning, turning we come out right.

And here is the Gay Mens Chorus of Los Angeles singing "Simple Gifts":

When We Pray

"When we have prayed prayers long enough, all the words drop away and we begin to live in the presence of God. Then prayer is finally real. When we find ourselves sinking into the world around us with a sense of purpose, an inner light and deep and total trust that whatever happens is right for us, then we have become prayer.

"When we kneel down, we admit the magnitude of God in the universe and our own smallness in the face of it. When we stand with hands raised,we recognize the presence of God in life and our own inner glory because of it. All life is in the hands of God. Even the desire to pray is the grace to pray. The movement to pray is the movement of God in our souls.

"Our ability to pray depends on the power and place of God in our life. We pray because God attracts us and we pray only because God is attracting us. We are not, in other words, even the author of our own prayer life. It is the goodness of God, not any virtue that we have developed on our own, that brings us to the heart of God. And it is with God's help that we seek to go there."

Source: The Monastic Way, collected in In My Own Words by Joan Chittister

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E-mail problems

Zone Alarm seems to have loaded all sorts of precautionary measures so that it takes many minutes (like five!) to scan my loading email before I can get to the inbox. This just happened with only two messages. I feel like this chicken, yelling "AAUUUGH!!!"

I want immediate gratification, at least with the computer.

Second Class Citizens

By Ann Telnaes

Here is a very interesting article, complete with charts if you so choose to look at them:

A Look at the Benefits Denied Same-Sex Couples by Ben Furnas and Josh Rosenthal

weather

I know in a few weeks when it's HOT here in south TX, I'll be wishing I was in the north, just as I will all summer. However, I must admit that I'm glad I don't have to shovel snow.

Hi. I'm an introvert.

Introvert Bench!

After an unusually busy weekend for me, I am wanting time alone, even skipping a meeting at church today. I acknowledge that I need to "recharge my energy," which I just read about here. The author cited is Marti Olsen, who wrote The Introvert Advantage, which I have not read.

"Introverts have social skills, they like people, and they enjoy some types of socializing… Introverts enjoy one-on-one conversations, but group activities can be overstimulating and drain energy."

Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D

That pretty much describes me!

Friday night there was a church choir potluck dinner, as husband CB is in the choir, at a member's house. Saturday night there was a company retirees dinner, which is made up of six couples. We were there for four hours before being the first to depart. We're almost always the first to leave (CB is also an introvert) any event, which held true for both dinners. We have a good time--and get tired sooner than everyone else!

I was one of the hostesses of a bridal shower on Saturday afternoon. 35 women came, most of whom I know from my former church (First United Methodist Church). The shower was for the sister of oldest son DC's best friend as they grew up. I was happy to participate and help and enjoyed the time there, but had to leave after three hours so I could get home and make a salad for the dinner that night!

This morning I helped another person teach a class on the Enneagram. This is a Sunday School class that will meet each Sunday in March. Just as with any type of self-reflection, working the Enneagram or spiritual path, I am realizing (again) that we need to accept and not judge as either "good" or "bad" our attributes. The way is awareness, acceptance, action, a teaching from Al-Anon that continues to reverberate in my being.

I do find that I accept myself being an introvert, which actually was the reason I gave the co-chairperson of the committee (that is meeting right now) that I could not attend--that I was "overwhelmed" and needed some time alone. Whew! That is so true.

Here's a funny but true article about introverts by Jonathan Rauch.

Friday Five: Fork in the Road

Singing Owl writes for RevGalBlogPals:

I am at a life-changing juncture. I do not know which way I will go, but I have been thinking about the times, people and events that changed my life (for good or ill) in significant ways. For today's Friday Five, share with us five "fork-in-the-road" events, or persons, or choices. And how did life change after these forks in the road?

1. Going to La Leche League meetings before my first child was born, way back in 1979.

La Leche League opened me to new and more beneficial ways of parenting, nutrition, and (of course) breastfeeding my four children. I met my best friend there and eventually became a La Leche League leader myself. LLL's emphasis on "family first" helped both my husband and me learn beyond our own childhoods.

2. Having each of our four children.

Being an only child and living far away from my husband's and my relatives, I am grateful that we had each of our four children. Each one has blessed us and grown us to accept them and the wider world. Our eldest daughter AE helped us become advocates for LGBT equality, which I believe is God's will.

3. Going to Oblate School of Theology in San Antonio, TX from Corpus Christi, 2001-2007.

My faith grew as my knowledge of theology expanded, as well as my confidence in myself. I started by wondering if I was called to be a Methodist minister and continued in the desire for learning more about God. I also learned more about the Roman Catholic Church and its priests and orders, as well as its social justice around the world. In 2006, I went to Zambia with a group from OST (only five of us!), where my heart expanded in love for Africa, those with HIV/AIDs, and orphans around the world.

It was also at OST that I learned from a professor who had done his dissertation on Karl Rahner that the (perceived) ABSENCE of God is actually God's PRESENCE! What a major revelation that continues to shape me in my "yearning for God."

4. The Episcopal Church.

When I was in high school in Bellingham, WA, I was baptized and confirmed in the Episcopal Church without my parents' interest. That seems much more momentous to me now, in retrospect, than it did for years and years.

Starting to see Father David Stringer as my spiritual director while I was going to the Methodist Church in 1997 was a major decision towards my spiritual and emotional growth. My "yearning for God" increased so much that I found the need to return to the liturgy and deep spirituality of the Episcopal Church in 2005.

5. NOW.

Going to the Shalem Program for Spiritual Guidance, all the books I've read over the years, going to Lebh Shomea since 1996, and the yearning placed within me are bringing me to this crossroads, which is currently my blog logo. Commitment to meditation/contemplation/prayer and moving forward with all my papers are the the way I am going. . . .



And here is a Lenten meditation from Lebh Shomea, which is short and beautiful.

Fasting and Feasting

Fast from judging others; feast on the Christ indwelling them.

Fast from emphasis on differences; feast on the unity of all life.

Fast from apparent darkness; feast on the reality of light.

Fast from thoughts of illness; feast on the healing power of God.

Fast from words that pollute; feast on phrases that purify.

Fast from discontent; feast on gratitude.

Fast from anger; feast on patience.

Fast from pessimism; feast on optimism.

Fast from worry; feast on divine order.

Fast from complaining; feast on appreciation.

Fast from negatives; feast on affirmatives.

Fast from unrelenting pressures; feast on unceasing prayer.

Fast from hostility; feast on non-resistance.

Fast from bitterness; feast on forgiveness.

Fast from self-concern; feast on compassion for others.

Fast from personal anxiety; feast on eternal Truth.

Fast from discouragement; feast on hope.

Fast from facts that depress; feast on truths that uplift.

Fast from lethargy; feast on enthusiasm.

Fast from suspicion; feast on truth.

Fast from thoughts that weaken; feast on promises that inspire.

Fast from shadows of sorrow; feast on the sunlight of serenity.

Fast from idle gossip; feast on purposeful silence.

Fast from problems that overwhelm; feast on prayer that undergirds.

- William Arthur Ward
(American author, teacher and pastor, 1921-1994.)

Lent Disciplines

A Green Lent?

Above are the logos for The Regeneration Project. Its IPLog has posts about Green Lenten Ideas, with lots of links and info. Take the time to go there!

One is "Try giving up carbon instead of chocolate."

Since today is Ash Wednesday, it is a good time to reflect upon which actions or disciplines one wishes to do for the next 40 days (and maybe a lifetime).


My husband and I have agreed that we will give up sweets (except fruit!) for Lent, which is not a spiritual task, but a practical one. 40 days is an accessible time limit to try a new behavior. A few days ago, I posted this thought from Debra Farrington:

"What most of us neglect- with more regularity than we might care to admit - is God. So this Lent, instead of giving up chocolate, give up neglecting God."

That hit me with such force that it is staying in my mind. Besides taking away sugar, I am adding two prayer times each day. I've tried to do this for several months, but don't always get the second time in. This is also my commitment for Lent.

I remember hearing that in three weeks (21 days) you can make a new habit, so in 40 days, almost twice that time, I hope to be committed in both these disciplines.

Shrove Tuesday or Pancake Day

Tonight at the Pancake Supper at our church, I started wondering about the tradition of having pancakes on Fat Tuesday. Both churches we have attended in Corpus Christi (Methodist and Episcopal) have their youth groups cooking pancakes and sausage for this dinner the night before Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. I must say that the pancakes at All Saints Episcopal Church tasted better than the ones we had in the past at the Methodist Church, probably helped by an older couple sharing their own real maple syrup they had brought from home for the event.

It turns out that pancakes originated from the need to rid one's kitchen of eggs, milk, and sugar in preparation for the austerities of the 40 days of Lent. Go here to read more.

So this reminds me of a family favorite recipe for pancakes, but cottage cheese pancakes. This is from that old La Leche League cookbook Whole Foods for the Whole Family. I put that recipe in a Friday Five post long ago.

Not chocolate!

"What most of us neglect- with more regularity than we might care to admit - is God. So this Lent, instead of giving up chocolate, give up neglecting God."

Debra K. Farrington's article is here.

A little prayer

May those whose hell it is to hate and hurt
be turned into lovers bringing flowers.

~~Shantideva
8th century Buddhist teacher

To receive such quotations every day, subscribe to Word for the Day at Gratefulness.org.

I am reading and not posting

Well, I'm reading too much and otherwise trying to move books from piles to bookcases (for me) or sacks for donating.I just finished and greatly enjoyed the newest Maisie Dobbs' mystery, Among the Mad by Jacqueline Winspear. I love those mysteries and have gained an interest in WWI because of them.

In the past few days I've received used books in the mail, which I learned about from the bibliography of The Wisdom Jesus by Cynthia Bourgeault:

• The Taste of Hidden Things by Sara Sviri
• The Contemplative Experience by Joseph Chu-Cong

So I'll see if those are what I am reading this weekend. I also have to start preparing a 3-week Sunday School class on the Enneagram that starts in another week.

And just so you'll know, I chose a completely different e-mail signature phrase than the ones listed in the post below:

"The highest form of wisdom is kindness."
The Talmud

That phrase has been framed in my bathroom since we moved here in 1994.

E-mail signatures

Since January, I've been using the following quote as the closing "signature" for my emails:

"Jesus didn't send his disciples out as 'Christian soldiers marching as to war.' He sent them out as peacemakers, who would form circles of friendship and thereby enable people to connect with one another. That is still the primary Christian mission: better living through better circles of sharing. .."

~~Tom Ehrich

For a long time before that, I used the quote that's at the top of this blog:

"An act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life as an act of love that succeeds, for love is measured by its own fullness, not by its reception."
~~Harold Loukes

I've been thinking lately that a shorter saying would be more noticeable, so what shall it be?

I am considering:

"In the way of God, thoughts count very little. Love does it all."
~~Brother Lawrence

"Apprehend God in all things, for God is in all things. Every single creature is full of God, and is a book about God. Every creature is a word of God."
~~Meister Eckhart

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."
~~Carl Jung

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful."
~~Buddha

"You can do what I cannot do. I can do what you cannot do. Together we can do something beautiful for God."
~~Mother Teresa

I am leaning towards the last one. I know Buddha's is longer, but it's quirky and I like it.

What do you think? Any other suggestions?

The lost is found

This struck me funny, because yesterday I found my long-lost (for three weeks) winter jacket at church. I was there for EFM and dropped by the church office to visit--and was so surprised to find the black jacket I'd been searching for right there on one of the chairs! They told me that's where they put lost items. . . .but I didn't know where I'd lost it--until then.

This jacket is about 10 years old. It's the one I wore in Minneapolis last year when I met Diane and her husband. Although this jacket is ten years old, it looks pretty new, because I don't wear it too often in south Texas. I might wear it at the most ten times each winter.

I am glad I don't have to buy another coat for its infrequent usage.

Dying

From e-cards at ExploreFaith.

I just learned that the 41 year old daughter of a good friend died. The daughter, Karen, had a life-long struggle with drugs and alcohol. No reason for the death was stated.

Karen's mother, my friend, taught three of my four children kindergarten. Margy was the first person I ever observed listening with her whole being; she was one of those people who did not finish phrases or sentences for someone else, but waited. She died of ovarian cancer about ten years ago. All I can think is that Margy and Karen are together in the peace and love of God--in the reconciliation they needed.

Today is a day to ponder death as I am remembering that my father died seven years ago. This afternoon I am going to my next door neighbor's funeral. She was an elderly lady, born the same year as my dad, who lived in that house both times we lived in our house (1987-1991 and 1994-present) and before that even. While I am there, CB is singing in the choir for a funeral at our church, at a different service.

And now Margy's daughter is gone. When I was 41, my children were young (1-12 years old), my parents were still alive, and things seemed secure. I am sad Karen couldn't feel the same way through much of her life.

As a side note, I am comforted that some of my friends and I pray for each other's children. I believe love is a prayer, so we all are joining God's prayer when we love, whether we know it or not.

Quickie Picture Meme

From Fran, who first got it from Phydeaux, here's a silly meme:

1. Grab the nearest book - no matter what it is. Textbook, novel, pop-up book, building code study guide, whatever.
2. Turn to page 25.
3. Read the 10th word on that page, or the following if that one is blank.
4. Type that word into Google Image search.
5. Post the third image.
6. Tag 4 people and tell them.
7. Link back to this post - Which I do right here.

The book is Silence on Fire: The Prayer of Awareness by William H. Shannon and the word was "conversation."
Do this if you think it would be fun! (I'd like to see what you come up with, esp. Garlic or Salt).

Oblate School of Theology and Oblate Renewal Center

This is the front entrance to the Oblate School of Theology, where someday I may finally receive my Master's degree in Theology. I went part time there for over five years, "commuting" from Corpus Christi to San Antonio.

While at the retreat last week, I met a maintenance worker for both the school and the retreat center, Juan. He finally recognized me and asked me if I had gone to the school in years past. I was pleased that he remembered me, but I guess a middle-aged WOMAN stands out among all the male priests! I told him the only thing that had changed about me was that my hair had turned white. He told me his hair was white, too, but he dyed it!


The Oblate Renewal Center, which is on the same vast grounds as the Oblate School of Theology, in San Antonio, Tx. This is where I stayed for the retreat last week.

Statue of OMI priests on horseback, who "dare to do the undared." I think this is a representation of these priests in Texas around 1843. I was reminded of Fr. Kelly Nemeck, who wears a cowboy hat when he works around Lebh Shomea.

On the grounds between the school and the retreat center is the Grotto, patterned about Lourdes. Above it is this scene of the Virgin of Guadalupe and Juan Diego.

And here's just a picture showing how spring is coming to south Texas. We have short springs and LONG, long summers.

Look!

I salute you. I am your friend,
and my love for you goes deep.
There is nothing I can give you
which you have not. But there is much,
very much, that, while I cannot give it,
you can take. No heaven can come to us
unless our hearts find rest in it today.
Take heaven! No peace lies in the future
which is not hidden in this present little instant.
Take peace! The gloom of the world is but a
shadow. Behind it, yet within our reach,
is joy. There is radiance and glory
in darkness, could we but see.
And to see, we have only to look.
I beseech you to look!

~~Fra Giovanni Giocondo

Source: Part 1 from "Letter to a Friend," written on Christmas Eve, 1513

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WOW--Technology for the future (and now)

10 Things to Make You Happy

Ellie posted this at Child of Illusion.

She also said more info about this can found here.

Happy Valentine's Day!

"We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit."

~~e.e. cummings

Books on Mysticism

I am back from the Shalem retreat, which I will post about this weekend. It was providential for me.

I met someone who took an online course with (contemplative) Maggie Ross entitled "The Uses of Silence" several years ago. She magnanimously shared the bibliography from that course, which I am listing below.

I've read the first book recommended and found it extremely helpful in my prayer life. The others I look forward to someday reading.

Into the Silent Land by Martin Laird

The Paradox of Intention by Marvin Shaw

The Other Side of Nothingness by Beverly Lanzetta

The Luminous Eye by Sebastian Brock

The Mystical Languages of Unsaying by Michael A. Sells

Pillars of Flame by Maggie Ross

If you have read any of these books, please let me know about them!

Yet another retreat!

I will be in San Antonio at the Oblate Renewal Center from Monday until Friday, attending the Shalem Southwest Regional Gathering. The title for this retreat is "Radical Presence: The Ground of Spiritual Leadership."

Five women from our Friday Renovare Group are attending. One (Mary Tom) is helping to plan it!
Mary Tom is already there. I will be driving our three other friends (MJF, JS, and KK) in my car on Monday. We will return on Friday.

Mary Tom completed Shalem's Spiritual Guidance Program about ten years ago. I've almost finished that program, and JS is starting it. Another friend coming with us, MJF (whose husband Joe died last year) is starting Shalem's program about Leading Contemplative Prayer Groups and Retreats.

This is my third retreat since the New Year! It's a little embarrassing to say I'm going on another one--I've taken advantage of our Empty Nest, since our youngest daughter MJ left for college last fall. This retreat has been planned for a long time, since Mary Tom was one of the planners, which is the reason I'm going off again.

Monday

Savage Chickens

hope in things unseen

The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what to hope for.
And the most you can do is live inside that hope.

Barbara Kingsolver

This goes along so well with a quote I used for meditation at the beginning of last week's Wisdom Class:

Hope is like a road in the country;
there was never a road,
but when many people walk on it,
the road comes into existence.

Lin Yutang (1895-1976)
Chinese writer and inventer

I keep thinking about that non-existent road that is created by us walking ahead in the hope of Love. I so need others on this journey of faith, who help me to venture forth in hope when I see none or little.

Oddly, today our last substitute priest shared that wonderful prayer of Thomas Merton:

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

- Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude

I remember I first received a copy of Merton's prayer in 1996 from the therapist who guided me through my long depression. Her name was Judy Dickson; she died a few years ago from pancreatic cancer, the same illness that killed my mother. Oddly, her adult daughter lives across the street from me.

Judy also loved the word "synchronicity," which irritated me for some reason. Now I am seeing synchronicity in these quotes about hope and in Merton's prayer. All point to the same message of hope, which is the way I want to live.

Sometimes this living is just putting one foot a step ahead or doing the next right thing. That's how I came through years of depression and can now see how my faith has grown. Somehow the little faithfulness I could manage in such things as a weekly lectio divina group and sometimes daily prayer opened the way for me to receive healing, especially healing from shame. I am amazed that this former self-image disappeared in the past decade. I could not do it; God helped me to let go of that false sense of self. There are still other false parts of me that I cling on to. I hope in the Lord that I and all creation are growing beyond our narrowness and fear- -that the way is being made, even though I/we do not see it.

"Slumdog Millionaire"

I saw "Slumdog Millionaire" for the second time this afternoon with CB. He had wanted to see the Clint Eastwood movie, but that was sold out, so we went to this one instead. I'm glad, because I enjoyed it as much as I did last week when I went with a friend. I noticed more details today. And CB liked it a lot, too.

I'm amazed that the actor who plays Jamil (Dev Patel) is only 18 years old. He is from Great Britain and still lives with his parents. He and the other actors were very good.

Besides learning a lot about India and watching an exciting story, I really enjoyed the Bollywood dancing during the final credits.

Windy day!

It is another windy day here in Corpus Christi, TX. This is a picture of the things I hung on the clothesline about an hour ago. Sheets and shirts are wound around other lines. We're supposed to have three days of extreme wind because of a low pressure system coming from the northwest and a high pressure area approaching from Florida.

My clothesline is placed behind our garage. To the right is a storage shed CB built a few years ago. If you look at all the bricks and the round piece of granite (left over from a house CB remodeled), you will see that they line the bottom of the fence. Our shepherd mix dog Cisco likes to escape the yard--by digging under the fence and/or chewing away at semi-rotten boards. The bricks have solved the problem for this area of the fence.

I'm off to hang the next load of laundry on the 1 1/2 lines left. I'll untangle the sheets, but it will only momentarily fix them. They'll still dry with the warm temperatures (70s F.) and the wind.

Fidelity

This is a video I urge everyone to watch. I will not forget these families.

Sophia writes:
"Watch these beautiful families, then sign the petition asking the California Supreme Court to take a stand for justice and equality early this March by invalidating Proposition 8 and not forcibly divorcing 18,000 faithful married couples."

Thanks to Cecilia and Sophia for posting this.

Pass it on

Notice

This evening, the sturdy Levi's
I wore every day for over a year
& which seemed to the end
in perfect condition,
suddenly tore.
How or why I don't know,
but there it was: a big rip at the crotch.
A month ago my friend Nick
walked off a racquetball court,
showered,
got into his street clothes,
& halfway home collapsed & died.
Take heed, you who read this,
& drop to your knees now & again
like the poet Christopher Smart,
& kiss the earth & be joyful,
& make much of your time,
& be kindly to everyone,
even to those who do not deserve it.
For although you may not believe
it will happen,
you too will one day be gone,
I, whose Levi's ripped at the crotch
for no reason,
assure you that such is the case.
Pass it on.

~ Steve Kowit ~

The Dumbbell Nebula

Friday Five: My Favorite Things

Songbird writes for RevGalBlogPals: So, let's encourage ourselves. Share with us five of your favorite things. Use words or pictures, whatever expresses it best.

1. Family (obviously)--Husband CB, Eldest son DC (29) and wife AA, daughter AE (26) and partner KA, son BJ (23), and daughter MJ (19). I'm so glad we have a big family, because I was lonely as an only child moving around too often.

2. Books--Books are really my favorite inanimate objects, as you can see if you go to my Librarything list. Of course, reading is included in this favorite thing. I have many books in piles that are waiting to be read. . . .

3. Writing to friends and family--I like cards, stationery, and various address books that I use less than I used to for keeping snail mail going. I still want to, but don't seem to have the time to write with a pen, maybe because I also enjoy blogging! I posted about writing letters here.

4. Pansies--Pansies were my mother's favorite flower; after her death in 1992, they became mine. I remember her pointing out the faces on pansies when I was a little girl. I showed the Ugandan boys the faces on the pansies planted by our front porch.

5. Trees--Probably because I spent my high school and college years in Bellingham, WA, I love trees. Liking trees is also why we choose to live in an older house in Corpus Christi, even though new and modern houses are being built on the southside in old farmlands. The trees here are 50 years old and are taller. I always like to get calendars with pictures of trees on them. I miss autumnal leaves from the northern parts of the country, as leaves do not turn color here in south TX.

Nothing to say

Wake Up and Pray according to De Mello

This video by Anthony De Mello (1931-1987) is 34 minutes long, but worth the time spent watching it. Take the time to watch it!

I somehow cannot post it, but go here to see it.

Patrick, Julius, and Nelson from Uganda

On Sunday, the first day the boys from the African Children's Choir were with us, we made peanut butter cookies. Here are Patrick and Julius stirring the dough.

Nelson was not interested in making cookies, because he liked picking out notes and tunes on the piano. He has had access to pianos since the tour started in the USA last September. He plays the drum for the performance.

Here are Patrick and Julius watching me plop the very sticky dough down on the cookie sheet. They learned how to press forks on the top.

We enjoyed having Patrick, Julius, and Nelson at our house along with their chaperone Steve from New Brunswich, Canada. They stayed with us for three nights. Monday night was their concert, which packed the huge sanctuary at First United Methodist Church. The ways they sang, moved, and danced amazed us all. It was fun to be in the audience.

And here is a picture that shows Nelson standing up with his drum with some other boys:

This particular choir tour has been in Texas since the end of November. They'll be in the state until the end of this month. The next major metropolitan area they'll be in is Houston, so if you are there, try to catch one of their shows!

Blogroll Amnesty Day

Thanks to Quaker Dave, I remembered about Blogroll Amnesty Day. I did not understand much about it until Blue Gal considerately e-mailed me about it. In easy language for me to comprehend, she wrote:

"The rule is, straight from the queen of the indy blogs, that you are not allowed to complain or mention your blog's low traffic (i.e. I can't link to someone smaller than me because no one is smaller than me!) until you have been posting daily for a year. If you're little, link other blogs that are new or still growing their audience, and encourage them to practice their craft daily. Then, show them how."

I've been encouraged by so many bloggers that I would like to do the same. So here are five I like to visit and think you would, too:

Contemplative Photographer

Holy Foolishness

The Quoteable I Ching

The Mercy Blog

Random Thoughts of an Aspiring Expat

Happy Groundhog Day!

Three boys at our house

On Sunday afternoon, three boys from Uganda and a chaperone came to our house. Patrick is 8 years old; Nelson and Julius are 10 years old. Their current chaperone for our visit is Uncle Steve from New Brunswick. Out of respect, they also call my husband and me "Uncle" and "Auntie Jan." The boys are very polite and say "thank you" for any little thing we do for them or show them.

I was surprised and pleased at how much they liked the meat pie I fixed for dinner last night. That's an old favorite of my children, but I did not know if it would seem odd to them. They have been in the United States since September and so they must be somewhat accustomed to American food.

Tonight is their performance. Nelson plays the drum. Patrick said he likes to dance most of all. It will be fun to watch them.

If you click on each country, you will find out what the African Children's Choir is doing there:

Uganda

South Africa

Rwanda

Ghana

Sudan

Nigeria

Kenya

Missy's Photo Meme

Sherry reminded me of Missy's Photo Meme, so here goes.

Here are the rules:

1. Go to your Picture Folder on your computer or wherever you store your pictures.

2. Go to the 6th Folder and then pick the 6th Picture.

3. Post it on your blog and tell the story that goes with it.

That picture comes from the trip that CB and I recently took to Albuquerque, NM when I went to Richard Rohr and Russ Hudson's conference on the enneagram. It was taken on January 4, 2009 on our return trip between Carlsbad, NM and Corpus Christi, TX. I was impressed with the mesa, remembering learning about them from pictures in elementary school, and was glad to see the wind turbines atop it. (Oddly, I think I already posted it here.)

African Children's Choir

One of the groups of the African Children's Choir will sing at First United Methodist Church on Monday night. They were here two years ago, when MJ was still home, and four little girls and an adult from Uganda stayed at our home. We are going to host some children again, though MJ will still be away at college.

The African Children’s Choir is made up of some of the neediest and most vulnerable children in their countries. Many have lost one or both parents to poverty or disease. The African Children’s Choir helps these children break away from the everyday cycle of poverty and hopelessness.

In Uganda, South Africa, Rwanda, Ghana, Sudan, Nigeria and Kenya, children are chosen to attend music camps. Before being selected to join the Choir, children, generally aged between 7 and 11 attend Music for Life camps. These camps are fun and stimulating environments that provide a break from the daily hardships the young children face at home.

We'll have the children staying with us from Sunday afternoon until Wednesday morning. So now I am getting rooms ready for them to sleep in and buying food to cook. All I can remember is that they really liked sweet potatoes.

We're all geniuses

And so you must be a genius to be reading my blog!

Contemplative Christianity links

I have lifted the following post completely from Carl McColman's blog The Website of Unknowing and urge you to go and look at the many resources to read and listen to at the bottom link. If you're not familiar with Carl's blog, please visit it, too.

Thanks to Phil Foster for pointing this one out to me…

EnlightenNext Magazine (formerly What is Enlightenment?) has a page on its website devoted to Contemplative Christianity, with interviews by folks like Thomas Keating, Anthony Bloom, M. Basil Pennington and others. There’s no cost to read the interviews, and if you subscribe you’ll also get access to the audio and video content.

Here’s the link: www.enlightennext.org/magazine/christianity/

Obama's Thoughts

I found this at Pundit Kitchen, a link sent to me by my daughter.

1,000th Post!

I started blogging in May of 2007, mostly due to Katherine E. who introduced me to the blogging world. I've been amazed at the people I've met and the friendships that have developed through blogging.

Oddly, awards pop up now and then in this blogging world. I am surprised, as will be my four children (!), to receive this one from Sherry:

Pretty cool! Reading is not just for nerds. . . .

So often I have found book recommendations on blogs that are excellent reads. Along with me, Sherry cited Randall and Ruth, and Ruth honored Yolanda, whom I would choose also.

Others who I trust about their reviews and book recommendations are:

Jennifer, who actually recommends a book in today's post!

Suzy, a school librarian, who always writes eloquently about books she has read.

Songbird, whose list of books she is reading are divided between her Kindle and "plain" books, along with a tally of the books she has read for the current year.

I love finding new books to read that are worth the time it takes to read them.