Jan. Friends: Acceptance

Friendship is always a way of accepting others for whom they are. However, I am not always as welcoming to myself as I am with others. Having grown up in an alcoholic home, I was raised with unwritten laws of (1) do not talk; (2) do not feel; and (3) do not trust. These "rules" continue to affect me in my life, though I am growing out of them to some degree.

Unfortunately, during times of stress, I revert to old patterns and inevitably judge myself harshly. I am aware that I did this during our Christmas-time with all our children home: when things seemed to be rocky or not idyllic, I periodically would assume it was MY fault. But how can I be in charge of everyone else? Forgetting that the only person I can change is myself, I expected that I could make everyone happy! When that failed to materialize, I took on the blame or responsibility.

This is old, old behavior. So my family and visitors were teaching me lessons I needed to learn (and re-learn)--that feelings arise and disappear and are NOT who I am (or who anyone else is). I am NOT my feelings! I am beloved as I am, not in the future or the past--just as each person is.

What is necessary:

ACCEPT--ALLOW--RESPECT!