Surrender in Christ

God said,

"Dear child, I have shown you that no guilt on earth can be atoned by experiencing suffering simply as pain to be endured. Only when suffering is accepted with longing, love, and heartfelt contrition does it have meaning. The value is not in the suffering, but in the soul's God-focused desire, while suffering. This desire and all other virtues possess value and life solely through my only begotten-Son--Christ crucified--because his surrender is the power of your love. Through virtue, the soul can follow his sacrificial footsteps. This surrendering in Christ is the only way suffering has value in reconciling the soul to me.

"This reconciliation is accomplished through a gentle, unifying love born from the sweet knowledge of my goodness and generated through the godly sorrow of the heart discovering its sinful nature. This self-awareness gives birth to a genuine contempt for one's sin and for the soul's selfish sensuality. It also creates a vibrant, sustaining humility. So you see, those who know genuine contrition and humility can suffer without growing impatient. In fact, that is how they repent."

~~Catherine of Siena: Dialogue

Butcher, Carmen Acevedo. Following Christ: A Lenten Reader to Stretch Your Soul. Brewster, Mass.: Paraclete Press, 2010. 99.

This is also posted today at the RevGals' prayer blog A Place for Prayer. Prayers are posted there daily, so please visit here, too!

Make the World More Beautiful

Miss Rumphius is one of my most favorite children's books. Its message is about a strong and adventurous young woman who becomes the crazy "Lupine Lady" in her old age, because her grandfather taught her that she must do something to make the world more beautiful. That is a message we all need.

This video shows you the picturebook while it is beautifully read by Tara Rose Stromberg. (It is 12 minutes long, but is well worth the time.)

It all adds up!

"Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. 

Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, 

but instantly set about remedying them – every day begin the task anew. "
– Saint Francis de Sales

Eknath Easwaran writes:



"While we were living on the Blue Mountain in India, we noticed that our local bank had a very neighborly arrangement for collecting funds from the villagers. Poor villagers have very little to save, only a few copper pennies at most. To encourage them to deposit even these few pennies every day, the bank employed a boy with a bicycle to go into the village to their homes, collect their few coppers, and enter the total in their account.

"In meditation it is the same: when the Self comes, we can say, 'We are no great saint, but a few times today we have tried to be patient. A few times today we have tried to put our family first. A few times today we have resisted some little craving for personal satisfaction.' This is how most of us are going to make progress for a long time: a few pennies here, a few pennies there, collected every day. But in these innumerable little acts of selflessness lies spiritual growth, which over a long period can transform every one of us into a loving person. To quote the bank advertisement, 'It all adds up.'"

 1000 pennies = $10.00

The Thought for the Day is today's entry from Eknath Easwaran's Words to Live By. (Copyright 1999 and 2005 by The Blue Mountain Center of Meditation.)

Books Without Batteries

I love books! And right now I am enjoying the newest novel of one of my favorite mystery writers (Jacqueline Winspear). It is a new hardback book so that I can loan it to friends and to my youngest daughter! It looks really good: Elegy for Eddie.

So I am going back to reading the newest Maisie Dobbs mystery!

Easter Egg Tree in Germany

Tradition of the Families Kraft and Rumrich of Saalfeld, Germany

70,000 Veils

Muslim Hadith (narrations about deeds and words of Mohammed)

“God hides himself behind 70,000 veils of light and darkness. If he took away the veils, the penetrating light of his Face would at once destroy the sight of any creature who dares to look at it.”

A Sufi Saint of the 20^th Century by Martin Ling

“Before we can experience the ‘Face’ (presence), however, we have to remove the veils that come between us and the ‘Face.’ If the goal of prayer, then, is to see the ‘Face of God,’ the task of prayer is to remove the veils that prevent us from seeing. . . . God removes the veils.

“The veils are not in God, but in us. The Divine Being is translucent. It is our being that is veiled, that is beclouded by illusions that hide reality; that of the world. Veiled in illusions, we cannot see what is actually present to us.” (14)

Seeking the Face of God by William H. Shannon

Irish Apple Cake

Irish Apple Cake

In the past few weeks, I have made this Irish Apple Cake twice. Both times it turned out looking like the picture above and was delicious.

It has so many apple slices in it that there doesn't seem to be enough batter, but it cooks together very nicely. While the cake is baking, it smells like an apple pie!

Irish Apple Cake

Ingredients:
5 apples
2 cups all-purpose flour
3 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 cup butter at room temperature
Pinch of salt
2 eggs, beaten
Splash of milk
1/2 cup of sugar
Handful of granulated sugar

1. Preheat your oven to 375 degrees F.
2. Throw flour, baking powder, and salt all together in a large bowl. Go for a bowl bigger than the one you usually use as you'll need a little elbow room to mix in the apples.
3. Cut in your butter until the mixture resembles lumpy breadcrumbs.

4. Peel and core your apples.
Note: Irish apple recipes always call for "cooking apples," a wonderful oversized apple perfectly designed for apple tarts and cakes. Of course, there is no such thing as a cooking apple in the States, I suppose because there are so many apples this side of the Atlantic fighting for the title. I use Granny Smiths, because I favor the tart taste, but you can use the apple of your eye, whatever variety it may be.
5. Slice your apples thinly and them fling them in to the flour mixture, along with the half cup of superfine sugar.
6. Now, dig in there with your paws and mix it up. This is a hearty--not pretty--cake, so don't be shy.

7. Add the eggs and the splash of milk to make a messy doughy mix, and slap it all into your baking pan. I use a silicone cake pan, so I don't have to grease a pan or struggle to release the finished cake. 

(Jan: I used a spring form pan, which easily released the cake, even when warm.)

8. Sprinkle generously with your handful (or more) of granulated sugar and then pop it in the oven for 40--45 minutes, until it is golden brown and you can no longer control yourself with the smell of hot apples. Tip: stick a toothpick in the middle of the cake and if it comes out gooey, give it another five minutes in the oven.

Good Things (and a new book!)

• Tonight my daughter AE sent me this lovely spring picture from Seattle and said she thought of me on her walk. I love daffodils and, even more, love that my eldest daughter thought of me and told me about it!

• The RA pain that surprised me this week depressed me at its return. I took this as a lesson from God to see how easily I can fall into either/or (good/bad) thinking--as I succumbed to imagining I'd be saddled with RA pain and would not be able to do my shoulder exercises and thus would get more disabled. Fortuitously, the bi-weekly Humira shot did its magic a few days after its intake. I am lucky that the medicine is still working in my body, which gave me the relief to realize that I tend to fall into disaster-thinking and should instead appreciate the day at hand.

• The worst day of pain was re-aligned in my mind by a phone call from eldest son DC. He called to tell me that his daughter Avery had seen my picture on my blog and said "Nana" for the first time (for me)! He kept asking her who the picture was, and she continued to repeat "Nana" much to my joy.

• I just read a really good book that I consider to be better than The Hunger Games. It is The Passage by Justin Cronin, who is an English professor at Rice University in Houston, TX. He is going to be the speaker at the Corpus Christi Literary Reading Series next weekend, which is why I purchased the book in the first place. A friend told me it was about "vampires," which made it sound like sensationalism. That could be a description of the evil forces that come about through a South American virus, but it is more a tale of redemption. It is 700+ pages long and is the first in a planned trilogy in a dystopian USA. I liked it even better when I read the interview with the author at the end of the book.

Prayer is a Blank Page

This Lent I am re-visiting a Lenten book by Emilie Griffin called Small Surrenders, which is currently marked 60% off its list price at Amazon. I am struck again by Griffin's metaphor of prayer as a "blank page."

Griffin quotes Murray Bodo: "Sometimes there might be no words, but only a blank page created by silence and space. . . . But you are in the process of praying." (83)

(Finding that link for Murray Bodo excited me when I learned that he is a Franciscan priest.)

Now for Emilie Griffin's words:

"Possibly the blank page is a test, a trial, a kind of formation." (84)

"Even more, we must come to understand that this emptiness, this blank page, is prayer. It is more than an invitation to pray. It is actually prayer. We are making a small and needed surrender to the way things are: we are relenting, we are unwinding." (85)

Griffin, Emilie. Small Surrenders: A Lenten Journey. Brewster, Massachusetts: Paraclete Press, 2007.

Also posted today at A Place for Prayer, a ministry of RevGalBlogPals. 

Gay Marriage

With thanks to Katherine on Pininterest. Katherine is the person who first motivated me to start blogging back in 2006.

More About My Hair

For months I have been unhappy with my hair as it seems to have changed texture with its change to white and my intake of methotextrate (a chemo drug) for RA. With the wind constantly blowing in Corpus Christi, my hair is further ruffled.

At physical therapy on Friday, my physical therapist Pam suggested that I "embrace the curl." Following that appointment, I had my hair cut. Dee has been cutting my hair for the past 18 years. She agreed that the texture had changed and suggested letting the top curl--by cutting it different lengths. So here I am.

It is a little difficult to adjust to the new image in the mirror--after 60 years of smooth hair. This is my new reality and so I am announcing it here.

With my daughter AE and husband CB's help, I got a new picture for FB and my profile here. CB took the photo and AE lightened it for me.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

Friday Five: Late!!

All day I have looked repeatedly at RevGals to see where today's Friday Five is. I even thought of volunteering to do it for someone else. . . . AND only right now, at 2 pm in Texas, do I realize I am the one in charge! I am sorry I am so late and forgetful.

That brings forth all the times I've been late or forgot something. How about you?

When have you been late or a no-show? When have you forgotten something or someone?

1. at church
My mind is blissfully absent about such events at church right now. A funny family story is that when MJ was about 5 years old, she was left in the church nursery until 10 pm. My husband and I had attended a western dance class, and I had left him there to go on to an Al-Anon meeting. When I got home after 9 o'clock, I asked the kids, "Where is MJ?" No one knew and she wasn't in her room! Then I went to find CB at his computer and asked him. His first reply was, "I don't know," and then he realized he had not remembered her at church! She was all alone with the caregiver named Dominga and she was not worried at all, though I bet Dominga was! (This is before everyone had cell phones.)

2. at home
It is easy to forget/put off things at home, especially making phone calls, which seem to be hard for me to initiate. Lately, I have been forgetting to call my dentist's office for a check-up. There!--I remembered (for the moment).

3. at work
In college I worked at the coffee shop at the student union. Much to my chagrin, I kept forgetting how to make coffee in those huge urns. I would put the coffee in after removing the used filter, forgetting to put in a new filter--as I was rushing around doing other things. I'd never discover it until the coffee was "done" and coffee grounds would come out with the liquid. THEN the urn had to be drained and cleaned out. This was a long and irritating process, especially with hordes of students wanting coffee!

4. with friends
Foremost in my mind is me today forgetting to put up the Friday Five for RevGalBlogPals!

5. ? where else?
In 2005 my husband CB and I were nominated as "best of the best" or something like that at our former Methodist church. Traditionally, it is a church family event where those honored are surprised. To get us there, a friend told me that Chuck was nominated. I tried to get him to go, but he wouldn't. So neither of us attended the event to honor those who had excelled at service that year, even though we were one set of the honorees.

My Heart

Give me a pure heart--that I may see Thee,

A humble heart--that I may hear Thee,

A heart of love--that I may serve Thee,

A heart of faith--that I may abide in Thee.

~~Dag Hammarskjold

Also posted today at A Place for Prayer, a ministry of RevGalBlogPals.

Question to Ask

Instead of the questions about what I believe or don't, Diana Butler Bass in her new book Christianity After Religion says we need to ask

Who am I in God?

Who am I through God?

That is a totally different question than asking oneself, "Who am I?"

Later I will write more about this book, as it is going to be the new Wisdom Class book at All Saints Episcopal Church, which is a weekly reading group on Tuesday mornings.

BW (before white) Hair

At this morning's Wisdom Class, we talked about the chapter on "Aging" in Lauren Winner's Mudhouse Sabbath. We had a really good discussion about aging and dying.

One item I mentioned was that I have noticed my white hair in the midst of women in Russia, Spain, Canada, and the USA in the past few years and have felt marked as "old." It seemed like most women, even older than me, colored their hair. I stopped doing that soon after DC and AA's wedding in September 2006. Someone in our class then asked me what was the color before I let it go "natural"? Brown.

So here is a picture of AA and me (with brown hair) the afternoon before the Rehearsal Dinner for her wedding:

My hair was longer than it is now, but also a better texture. My hair has gotten very fly-away since taking methotextrate (for RA) in the past year--I've lost some hair and it grows back in-- obviously shorter. I am not sure that I'll ever stop taking that chemo-drug, because it with Humira stops the RA inflammation in my joints. The side effect of "witchy" hair is better than painful and swollen joints!

Stages of Aging

Once I hit 60 years old and let my hair go white, I've felt pushed into an "old" category. And today I saw the stages of "old" that I heard about at a United Methodist conference on senior adults some years ago:

65-74 young-old

75-84 old

85 and older old-old

I'm not even "young-old" yet! Although, I am taken aback that my mother died when she was young-old.

All these categories are meaningless, especially when you consider that they all indicate age.

Avery is visiting!

Friday Five: Woman Edition

For today's RevGalBlogPals Friday Five, Revkjarla brings us this:

So, since I am in the WR mode, let's talk about women in your life!

1. Name a woman author you very much love to read.
Terri put down lots of mystery authors, whom I also love. However, I would like to add Jacqueline Winspear (author of Maisie Dobbs mysteries) to that list, along with Dorothy Sayers. I admire Karen Armstrong, too, and want to read more of her books.Other female spiritual writers I like to read are Emilie Griffin, Beatrice Bruteau, Ruth Burrows, Kathleen Norris.

2. Name a woman from the Bible with whom you would like to enjoy a nice long coffee talk.
Widow of Nain, Samaritan woman, Mary.

3. Name a famous woman from history with whom you would like to have lunch.
Queen Victoria, Julian of Norwich, Madame Curie, Cleopatra (after reading the recent "biography" of her).

I liked Purple's suggestion of the women who worked for women's right to vote. The person that kept coming to mind is not famous, but I'd like to have dinner with my mother's mother, who was a suffragette. I never knew her and would like to have a chat with her.

4. Name a living famous or infamous woman with whom you would like to go out to dinner.
Suu Kyi; I wish I could have sat in a dinner with her and Hillary talking recently!

Newsweek has a wonderful edition this week of the "150 Fearless Women in the World."

5. If you could be SuperWoman (o.k., I know you already ARE) what three special powers would you like to have? 
Endless energy, instant relocation abilities, healing.

Happy Birthday to my Oldest Daughter

30 years ago today my wonderfully talented oldest daughter AE was born. Her father and I like to remember the dramatic story of her birth, which she tires of hearing about. She abruptly emerged when only my husband and I were in the birthing room! He yelled for help, saying,"The baby is coming!" Of course, we didn't know until her birth that AE was a girl. I cried when I called my parents to tell them that I had a baby girl, because I was so glad. Good memories.

The cocker spaniel is in honor of AE, too, because she and KA have Morgan, a cute and pretty cocker spaniel. Almost 16 years ago, AE surprised me with a little blonde cocker spaniel puppy, who is now a surprisingly contented elderly dog who is both blind and deaf.

Visiting Avery

Jan and Avery

March 2, 2012

We visited Avery this past weekend in Austin. My dear husband CB knew I wanted a new profile picture with Avery, so he kept taking pictures. Usually I am the one who is not photogenic, plus it was hard to get both Avery and me in a close-up.

Fasting and Feasting

Fast from judging others; feast on the Christ indwelling them.

Fast from emphasis on differences; feast on the unity of all life.

Fast from apparent darkness; feast on the reality of light.

Fast from thoughts of illness; feast on the healing power of God.

Fast from words that pollute; feast on phrases that purify.

Fast from discontent; feast on gratitude.

Fast from anger; feast on patience.

Fast from pessimism; feast on optimism.

Fast from worry; feast on divine order.

Fast from complaining; feast on appreciation.

Fast from negatives; feast on affirmatives.

Fast from unrelenting pressures; feast on unceasing prayer.

Fast from hostility; feast on non-resistance.

Fast from bitterness; feast on forgiveness.

Fast from self-concern; feast on compassion for others.

Fast from personal anxiety; feast on eternal Truth.

Fast from discouragement; feast on hope.

Fast from facts that depress; feast on truths that uplift.

Fast from lethargy; feast on enthusiasm.

Fast from suspicion; feast on truth.

Fast from thoughts that weaken; feast on promises that inspire.

Fast from shadows of sorrow; feast on the sunlight of serenity.

Fast from idle gossip; feast on purposeful silence.

Fast from problems that overwhelm; feast on prayer that undergirds.

- William Arthur Ward

(American author, teacher and pastor, 1921-1994.)

Visiting Our Granddaughter

 

CB and Avery in Austin

(surprisingly good picture taken with Jan's Ipod)

Unseen Angels

 

I am not an "angel person." Some people collect angels and pictures of various cherubs, but I have always thought they were too sentimental. I like the idea of having a "guardian angel," but how does this angel differ from the Holy Spirit? I would have to accept the reality of angels, which I hedge about. But I believe in the community of saints that surround us, so why can't angels be included?

Anyway, below is a meditation that hit me about angels that I received from Eknath Easwaren's site:

Make yourself familiar with the angels, and behold them frequently in spirit; for without being seen, they are present with you.
   – Saint Francis de Sales

"When the word “angel” is used, we can understand it as a personification of the forces for good in the world. Who will deny that forgiveness is one of the greatest forces on the face of the earth? Show me a man or a woman who can forgive completely and I will show you an angel. 

"If you want to see an angel, you have only to see a person who can return love for hatred. He is not just a person, he is a force. Similarly, a woman who has boundless patience is a powerful force that can transform antipathy into sympathy, ill will into good will, hatred into love.

"There is another meaning as well: there are beneficial forces in life, ready to support those who are sincere but who find their capacities not adequate to the challenges that life presents.

"When you are needed by others, when you have something valuable to contribute, these beneficial forces will support you, and give you greater health, greater energy, longer life, and deeper creativity. Life may strike at you, and challenges can hurtle themselves against you, but you will feel equal to them. Deeper forces from within will support you, hold you up, and act as a shield.

"We are not alone in the universe. We are surrounded by mighty creative forces."

 The Thought for the Day is today's entry from Eknath Easwaran's Words to Live By. (Copyright 1999 and 2005 by The Blue Mountain Center of Meditation.)

I can agree with the thought that an angel is a "personification of the forces for good in the world." I've experienced the goodness of others and God moments/synchronicities that I could attribute to "angels."

What do you think of angels?

 

 

Friday Five: Essentials

 KathrynZG brings today's Friday Five to RevGalBlogPals and she writes:

I'm heading from unseasonably warm temperatures and no snow to a place of GREAT SNOW. Sadly, for reasons that don't need to be boringly laid out here, I am sans decent winter boots at the moment so I need to find some... NOW!

In the meantime I am shaking my head at myself. How could I possibly be without one of the key essentials for living in my environment?

Every area is different. What are the 5 key essentials needed for where you live?
And bonus - what have folks looked twice at you for because you wore it out of place.

There aren't that many seasonal changes way down in south Texas, where I have spent my adult life.

What I need in Corpus Christi, TX:

1. sandals

2. crop pants (that used to be called "pedal pushers" when I was young)
Younger (and more fit) people need shorts.

3. short sleeved shirts

4. sunglasses

5. sunscreen

Bonus:
Probably I am more out of place when I visit other locales, bringing clothes for warmer weather than I encounter. Wearing socks with sandals was more appreciated in WA State than down here in TX, so that's probably the most inappropriate thing I have worn here.

Praying Through Lent

From Contemplative Photography

Diane Walker is daily posting her art with prayers like this one for Lent. She is truly gifted. Please visit her here.

This is also posted today at the RevGals' prayer blog A Place for Prayer. Prayers are posted there daily, so please visit here, too!

Take a Leap!

I took a leap this morning and went back to the deep water exercise class at the YWCA. I haven't been there since I hurt my shoulder in November. The water was cold but refreshing, because the water heater was broken. (Too often the temperature was too high for me though.)

I am grateful that both my doctor and physical therapist urged me to return. It was a little scary to go back after so much time and my physical pains, but it was a good thing to do.

What will you leap into today? (It can be a little hop.)

STOP, Look and Listen!

 

My physical therapist told me I had a "stop sign" placed in my life to pay attention to when I hurriedly and obliviously tried to walk through the kitchen door last week holding stuff along with my exercise stick (a former broom stick!) sideways--couldn't get through and was jolted to stop. (Duh!) I had been feeling so almost-normal that day, getting back into the busy routine of washing clothes and even trying to clean. I was more busy than paying attention.

That was a mistake, because I hurt some muscles in my shoulder, so much so that that night I had to keep putting ice on it. Luckily, I saw my physical therapist the next day (last Friday) and she carefully and minutely checked the various muscles to see what I'd hurt, while also seeing if I'd damaged my healing shoulder. Luckily, I hurt other muscles than the one that was re-attached to the bone in the surgery .

However, the muscles have remained sore and are hindering my progress in recovery and in my participating in all the PT exercises needed to strengthen all those muscles for moving my arm up, down, and around. If I can ever move my right arm behind me up beyond my butt, I will be greatly pleased. 

Pam, my physical therapist, told me that I need to remember I am fragile and am still healing. I guess this mishap reinforced that image, especially with me getting to see my 15 month old granddaughter this weekend--I canNOT lift Avery or carry her with my right arm, my usual method of holding her.

This was definitely a reminder to be more mindful of my activities. Pay attention! So I was really helped by the meditation I am copying below.



Ellie at Does Not Wisdom Call had this pertinent post about hurrying:

Artist: Margret Hofheinz-Döring

Image from Wikimedia Commons

Hmmm. Has anybody ever thought of giving up hurry for Lent?

"To be impatient is to be hooked on the future."

— Gerald Jampolsky

All of the great spiritual teachers I've ever studied have emphasized the importance and, indeed, the holiness of the present moment. May I suggest that we use whatever Lenten discipline we may have chosen as a way of helping us be truly mindful of the here and now.

Yearning for God?

This isn't the entire cartoon, but it has the kicker about "Yearning for God!" I got it from Blue Eyed Ennis. She found it here.

Whispers

A Blessing for the Journey of Seeking God
When your soul whispers of its deepest longings,
may you quiet yourself to listen.
May you follow the path of yearning to the One alone
who blends the uneven edges into a life of meaning.
May you meet and be united with God
and give thanks for the whispers
that led you there.

From Lenten Blessings on ExploreFaith.org

Black and White Photo of Avery

My son DC took this cute picture with his Iphone with some program called "instagram." I like its old-fashioned appeal.

We are going to visit them next weekend. I hope Avery won't be shy around Nana and Grandpa, because we have not seen her since Christmas. Two months is a long time for a one-year-old!

Learning

By Kristin Noelle

Always a Beginner

By Paul Bommer

I am reminded that many spiritual masters, including Thomas Merton, remind us that we are always beginners. That helped me to make my commitment for Lent--to meditate for 20 minutes upon rising each morning.

That had been a regular discipline for the past few years, even while I visited my daughter MJ in Spain. However, the trip to Russia in November where I injured my right shoulder brought forth a disruption from that schedule that seemed difficult for me to circumvent. During all that time of pain, I would have assumed that I would pray more than usual, but did not do so. There were times of pleas for aid and thanksgiving, but little time was spent in silent prayer.

Our priest reminded us on Ash Wednesday that our Lenten discipline is to pray Psalm 51:10:

Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me.

These 40 days are to commit that prayer into our lives. One step for me is to sit in silence with God every morning on awaking.

Today was the third day of doing this. I found that I awoke, yearning to pray. Remember the old adage? The more one prays, the more one will want to!

Friday Five: Emptiness

Emptiness by Bluesrose

Sally brings today's RevGals Friday Five:

I have been pondering this Friday Five over and over in my mind, but I am coming up with nothing, so I am wondering; what do you do when you feel empty of all creativity and unable to make/do anything? This is a completely open question, the only rule is name 5 things that fill/ inspire you:

1.Meditate, be in silence--even for a minute! There was a cute cartoon on FB about just taking a moment of meditation! So I'll put it here:

2. Talk to a good friend. For some unknown reason, I find it hard to call people even though I like talking to them once the conversation gets started.

3. Go for a walk.

4. Go to the Psalter. When I can't sit or pray, I can always pray/read a Psalm. I remember when I was clinically depressed in the 1990's and couldn't seem to pray, I would read Psalms, especially the laments.

5. Write a note or card to someone. Write in a journal.

How I feel with my White Hair!

Stethoscope

Changing Habits

In an email from ZenHabits, I got this wonderful article about changing habits. With Lent starting tomorrow, this is a good time to practice giving up a habit and trying to make a new one. Here are the high points from Leo Babauta's piece on "It's Not Too Late to Change Your Habits":

Here’s how.

Know as you start that you aren’t changing a mountain. You don’t have to change years of bad actions. Those actions are gone — they’ve evaporated into the ether, and you can forget them. Forgive yourself for them, then forget them.
You don’t need to run a marathon to change a habit. You just need to take a step. And you can take a step.

Consider for a moment your bad habit. You might have a dozen, but choose an easy one. Not the one you’re most afraid of — the one you think you can lick.
Take a step back and think about this habit. When do you do it? What things trigger the habit — stress, food, drinking, socializing, boredom, sadness, waking, being criticized? What need does the habit fulfill for you? Know that it does fulfill a real need, and that’s why you keep doing it.

Realize something — stop here to drive home for yourself a crucial, crucial point: you must realize that you don’t need this habit to fulfill this need. You don’t need the habit. You can deal with stress in healthier ways. You can beat boredom. You can cope. You do not need the habit, and you will learn better ones with practice.
You might be feeling a bit overwhelmed at this point, but you’ve done the hardest part. Now you just need to take one more little step.

Commit to yourself to make a small tiny insignificant but powerful step each day. Commit fully, not half-assed. Commit by writing it down, and putting it up on your wall. Commit by telling a friend about it, and asking for help. Commit by putting it on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, your blog, a forum you frequent. Be all in.

Find a replacement habit. One that is healthier. One that fulfills the need. One that is easy. One that you can do after your trigger, instead of your bad habit. One that you enjoy and will look forward to. If you need to relieve stress, for example, consider walking, or pushups, or deep breathing, or self-massage.
You’re now ready to climb out of your trench. Remember, just a tiny tiny step.

Notice your urge to do the habit. Pause. Don’t do the bad habit. Let the urge pass, then do your new replacement habit.

Repeat, noticing the urge, letting the urge pass, not doing the bad habit, doing the good habit instead. You might mess up, but that’s OK. You’ll get better with practice.

Practice as often as you can, every day. You’ll get really good at it. Don’t worry about how long it takes. Keep doing it, one urge at a time.
 .
Know, Consider, Realize, Commit, Find, Notice, Repeat, Practice.

Ideas for Lent

Today is Shrove Tuesday. Both my former church (First Methodist) and my current one (All Saints Episcopal) have pancake suppers tonight, but I don't want to eat their pancakes! I've done that for too many years and do not enjoy any of the meal. Since husband CB will be teaching Chemistry for Nursing Students at our local community college during that time, I'll probably stay home. I will contribute to the causes that are benefiting from these pancake suppers (Russian Mission at FUMC and the youth at All Saints) instead.

Today I need to decide what intentional practice I will do during this season of Lent. It's easy to give up chocolate, but that is more for my diet than for God. Robin has suggested giving up the internet. That would be like letting go of the branch from the Sufi story below this one.

I ordered free table tents for the people in the Wisdom Class to set up in their kitchens--Lenten Prayers for Hungry People.

Creighton University has Prayers for each day of Lent.

William J. O'Malley has a PDF on "Lenten Prayers for Busy People."

Robin is going to do Ignatian Spirituality practices for Lent. Terri is following these sites for Lent:
 two Lenten prayer sites: wordsmatter and Ignatian Spiritual Exercises.

I am planning to re-read Small Surrenders: A Lenten Journey by Emilie Griffin. I haven't decided upon a commitment besides that yet.

If you have a favorite Lenten link or idea, please comment here!

Trusting God?

Below is a Sufi story about someone hanging onto a branch that will soon break, which set my mind up for typical stories of being caught, etc. However, when I slowly read this short tale, I realized how much trust is involved in letting go and it is quite frightening. How much do I really trust God? How much do you?

“A man was chased off a cliff by a tiger. He fell, and just managed to hold onto a branch. Six feet below, a violent sea lashed fierce-looking rocks. To his horror, he noticed that the branch he was clutching was being gnawed at its roots by two rats. Seeing he was doomed, he cried out, ‘O Lord, save me!’

“He heard a Voice reply, ‘O course, I will save you. But first, let go of the branch!’”

Harvey, Andrew and Hanut, Eryk. Perfume of the Desert: Inspirations from Sufi Wisdom. Wheaton, IL: Quest Books, 1999. 18.

For Peace of Mind

I tell you one thing – if you want peace of mind, do not find fault with others.

Rather learn to see your own faults.

Learn to make the whole world your own.

No one is a stranger, my child;

 this whole world is your own.

– Sri Sarada Devi

Eknath Easwaran wrote:

"When we get even the slightest glimpse of the unity of life, we realize that in tearing others down we are tearing ourselves down too. When you sit in judgment on other people and countries and races, you’re training your mind to sit in judgment on yourself. As we forgive others, we are teaching the mind to respond with forgiveness everywhere, even to the misdeeds and mistakes of our own past."

Again, I am reminded of that prayer an alcoholic doctor from Alaska told me in an AA meeting at The Meadows in 1995--to pray for your enemies (though I often pray it for friends or family):

Bless ____________________, change me.



The Thought for the Day is today's entry from Eknath Easwaran's Words to Live By. (Copyright 1999 and 2005 by The Blue Mountain Center of Meditation.)



Shoulder Stuff

Most of my time these days seems to be spent going to physical therapy three times a week and doing homework of exercises for my shoulder 3-4 times each day. It is surprising to me that the sideways "walking up the wall" with my fingers is the hardest for my arm/shoulder right now.

I am lucky that I ended up with the physical therapist I did because she explains very thoroughly about my body, showing me the different views/layers of muscles around my right arm and shoulder. This gives me understanding of what happened in my injury, but also what is happening in my recovery. It makes me want to work on it, too.

It is interesting to observe how I automatically judge that I should be doing better in the different positions--until I realize that it has only been five days since I got out of the sling. Considering that, I am making progress. A minor but noticeable effect is that the day my sling got off, it hurt to try to pull the sleeve of my sweater down using my right hand behind my back. Now that does not seem difficult, even though I cannot lift the right arm up past my waist in the back. Still, that's better than it was.

As the doctor told me, "slow and steady." That's a description for any type of discipline, including prayer.

Friday Five: Freedom

After spending the past six weeks with my right arm tightly bound to my body with a "shoulder immobilizing" sling due to shoulder surgery, I was able to discard that restrictive device three days ago. Such freedom in movement is to be savored! This brought to mind how we experience freedom in many different ways in our lives.


For today's Friday Five, tell us about your times of release or detachment (freedom!) in such areas as:

1. physical
The most recent physical release I have experienced is the one related above: I saw my orthopedic surgeon on Tuesday and he told me I could stop wearing the arm/shoulder sling! He told me this after he showed me the x-rays taken some minutes before, where he pointed out the white deposits of calcium where the bone was reattaching itself.

It is wonderful to not have that black contraption wrapped around me. The freedom to straighten out my arm is delightful. NOT sleeping with my arm bent inwards (the elbow always right next to my body) across my body is so comfortable!

I still cannot move my arm in all directions or to heights I would like. Having physical therapy three times a week plus doing exercises at home give me encouragement about my future mobility.

2. spiritual
Having a group of three friends that meet regularly for lunch on Mondays since 1996 has brought me freedom to express my doubts and wonderings about God in discussions. We were originally all in the same church and same adult Sunday School class, and it was refreshing to find openness and acceptance together when we could not always experience that in the first two places.

I am still fortunate to see these three women almost weekly, with time out for trips and grandchildren being born.

3. emotional
I was clinically depressed for several years in the mid-90s. When I finally could accept that "depression" was only a part of me and not the defining characteristic/weakness of my being, then I grew healthier.

4. vocational
I only realized the freedom I experienced as a teacher in Oregon after moving to Texas and teaching for one year here. In Oregon, we were allowed to individualize and work as teams instead of coordinating with each teacher in a certain grade to teach exactly the same thing (as in TX). We had state goals or guidelines for each subject in each grade to guide us, but there was more freedom in choosing to accomplish these. (This was back in the late '70's, so these judgments may not apply now.)

5. relationships
Thomas Merton's saying that the closer you come to God, the closer you come to your true self shows forth in my relationships with others. Earlier in my life, I was very much a people-pleaser and somehow I've grown more into my own self as I've aged. I know God has provided people, books, and such groups as Al-Anon and church to bring more awareness into action in me.

Patience for Another

Eknath Easwaren wrote:

"In India, where families often make severe sacrifices to send a son or daughter to college, everyone is patient with a student who is out of cash. If you are waiting in line for tickets with two or three friends, for example, and your turn comes at the box-office window, everyone understands if you suddenly discover that your shoelace has come loose. You bend down to tie it, giving your friends a chance to buy your ticket, and everybody knows there is no question of generosity or stinginess; you simply do not have the capacity to pay.

"Similarly, when someone suddenly gets angry, you can think to yourself, “Well, his shoelace has just come untied.” He has just run out of inner resources. Whatever he was doing before, he has to bend down and look at his feet; he hasn’t got attention to give to anything else. To grow rich in love – to make yourself into a real tycoon of tenderness – have patience with others."

This reminds me of the prayer: Bless ______________, change me."
 
The Thought for the Day is today's entry from Eknath Easwaran's Words to Live By. (Copyright 1999 and 2005 by The Blue Mountain Center of Meditation.)

Enjoy it while you can!

With thanks to Trying God's Patience FB Page.

Happy Valentine's Day!

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

- e. e. cummings ~

NO to the Death of Books!

Don't let this be true! I love books!

Write More Letters!

Letter Writers Alliance has this image for free downloading for wallpaper for your computer or tablet. I thought it was just a good reminder for me and maybe a prompt for you to send a note or card!

I can hardly wait!!

I can hardly wait until Valentine's Day--when I will see my orthopedic surgeon and hopefully get permission to stop using the "shoulder immobilizing sling" and to move my right arm! I may not have full mobility yet, but it will come.

Since January 4, the day of my shoulder surgery, my husband has had to help me daily with my shower and to dress myself. He'll be glad (and I'll be even more glad) when I can do it all by myself!

Friday Five: Love!

Revjarla brings today's Valentine Friday Five for RevGalBlogPals:

Share 5 Valentines you would like to give this year, and why--but here is the hitch,
Can't give them G-d, Jesus, Holy Spirit...or your mom, your beloved, your sweet child(ren)...tell us about the other amazing beings in your life.

1. Joe and Fan--dear friends who moved to Colorado last year, but are moving back this spring! In fact, today they are meeting husband CB and me for lunch, as they are her trying to get their return somewhat organized. Not only our church but the Corpus Christi community rejoice at their coming home to us.

2. My four bridesmaids, who are still good friends--though they live in WA and CA and I live in TX.
Do you remember that picture I recently posted of them from 1971? It can be found here. I am grateful that they are good and faithful friends.

3. Daryl, Paige and Melissa, who make up my Monday Lunch group. We meet almost every Monday to talk about our families, politics, and religion. In 1996 we started out to be an Emmaus Reunion Group, but soon fell into being a support group for raising teenagers and also to ask questions, often seemingly heretical, about religion. The continuity, acceptance and authenticity of these women nurture me on a regular basis.

4. Richard Foster, founder of Renovare and author of many books on spirituality. His book Celebration of Discipline, which I read for the first time in 1994, opened me up to spiritual practices and writers from the past and the present who have broadened my mind and my heart. Thanks to the bibliography in that book, I found books I had never heard of, which led me to other books--that kept leading me out and in.

5. The Wisdom Class--I wish I had the time and determination (as well as the use of my right hand) to send each person a Valentine. This book group, which I began facilitating in 2005, has opened my heart and mind. I send love in my heart to each person who has visited and/or stayed with this weekly group over the years, especially to Georgia and Helen, who were founding members of the group before I knew of it and who have joined each other in God's Beyond.

On Prayer

You ask me how to pray to someone who is not.


All I know is that prayer constructs a velvet bridge

And walking it we are aloft, as on a springboard,

Above landscapes the color of ripe gold

Transformed by a magic stopping of the sun.

That bridge leads to the shore of Reversal

Where everything is just the opposite and the word 'is'

Unveils a meaning we hardly envisioned.

Notice: I say we; there, every one, separately,

Feels compassion for others entangled in the flesh

And knows that if there is no other shore

We will walk that aerial bridge all the same.



~~Czeslaw Milosz

Polish poet (1911-2004)

How I feel about politicians

With thanks to Terri who found it at The Progressive Pragmatic's FB page.

Beautiful Bookstores of the World



 Buenos Aires, Argentina

Until I saw on FB "The 20 Most Beautiful Bookstores in the World," I never thought of traveling around to look at bookstores. However, I must admit, that I love to go into bookstores and card stores wherever I travel. Someday, perhaps that can be more of a goal.

Mexico City, Mexico

And here in the United States:

Ojai, California

It was fun to look at the different bookstores, though I am sure there are more lovely ones not pictured.

Telling Your Story

To tell a story, one needs a good listener. Maybe that means each of us should be interested in the person we are with!

I read this about story in the "book" mystery I just finished A Slepying Hound to Wake by Vincent McCaffrey:

"'I guess I didn't have any (story) to tell."

"Or is it you never gave the story a chance? Your dad has a story. What's yours?"

"I don't know."

"Sure you do. You're in the middle of it, aren't you? It's all around you, isn't it? Isn't it just a matter of whether or not you think it's worth the telling? And whether you have someone to tell it to? Your dad told the stories he wanted to tell, and he told them to me because I listened.'" (201)
McCaffery, Vincent. A Slepying Hound to Wake. Easthampton, MA: Small Beer Press, 2011. 201.

Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to say, and I can see that it depends upon whether I can think of something that is "worth the telling" and if someone is listening.

Books, Mysteries, and Images

Lately, I am definitely reading more books than blogs.

I have found two new mystery writers by perusing the new books shelf at the local library. The first is Karin Slaughter, who writes of mysteries in Atlanta, GA. The other author combines books with mystery as the main quirky character is a "bookhound"--by Vincent McCaffery.

To find more fun images about books, both about reading and writing them, go here. This a picture album for Trying God's Patience, which is the Facebook page for auther Susan Wittig Albert, who writes the China Bayles' mysteries, which are set in the Texas hill country. Those are the mysteries that my friend Nancy got me started on this past October.

another image from Trying God's Patience