Home again

It is nice to be home again!

I am back in Corpus Christi after a four hour drive from Blanco, TX where the retreat was. We spent three hours a day in prayer and three hours a day in class, being taught from the book The Lessons: How to Understand Spiritual Principles, Spiritual Activities, and Rising Emotions by its authors Sandy Casey-Martus and Carla R. Mancari.


Learning about Christ Centered Prayer is renewing my faith in God and my commitment to sit twice daily in contemplation. For the past few years, I have sporadically tried to do Centering Prayer-- not much faithfulness there!

Of course, sitting in prayer for three hours a day this past week has affected me!

This is not a book to be read easily in one sitting; it is more like a workbook to study. It contains the years of communication between our future priest and her spiritual director about her spiritual learnings, questions, and realizations about contemplative prayer. I will be studying this for years to come--and putting what I can into practice.

Here is what they say about Christ Centered Prayer from their website:

"The silent Christ Centered Prayer practice is contained within the Contemplative Invitation Teaching. The teaching is a body of revealed writings that builds upon previous Christian contemplative tradition and biblical reference. The intent of this teaching is to offer a definitive, concise Christian understanding of spiritual principles. The Contemplative Invitation Teaching's unique contribution is in its clear, precise language and use of sacred scripture. Validation of the teaching is a direct result of the Christ Centered Prayer practice.

"Christ Centered Prayer is a simple inner prayer of awareness under the guidance of the Holy Spirit in the name of Jesus Christ. Christ Centered Prayer may directly facilitate entrance into the Spiritual Heart Center and the awareness of God, the still small voice, who is known by faith and dwells within you always. 'Be still, and know that I am God . . .'(Psalm 46: 10).

"The Christ Centered Prayer practice is for you, who have an interest in responding to God "without words" in solitude, simplicity, and silence. 'Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God' (Matthew 5: 8).

"You are not unlike the prodigal child returning home to your Father's house. Christ Centered Prayer may open your heart to God's healing presence and power. The implicit petition is, 'Create in me a clean heart, O God; renew right spirit within me' (Psalm 51: 10).

"Access to the Divine Indwelling is not only possible, but practical. It is to this Divine Indwelling awareness that the Christ Centered Prayer intends."

More will be written about this as I continue in prayer and have Sandy as my rector.

Barking or blogging?

We have an old and deaf cocker spaniel, who barks and barks. Baillie didn't bark so much when she could hear, but now she just keeps on and on. Finally, if I can catch her attention outside (usually by clapping my hands and motioning at her), she will come inside and be quiet for awhile.

Always a Beginner

"The mission of the church is just loving people. And our confession? What is our confession? It is that we do not know how to love. Until we have made that confession, there is nothing to be learned. We cannot even be a beginner with the beginners, and in the school of Christianity there is nothing else to be but a beginner."

~~Elizabeth O'Connor, Search for Silence, p. 23.

"When desire for love is felt, owned, and intended, some kind of prayer happens. In one form or another, prayer is the beginning and the way of being in love. If we are to say yes to love's invitation, to whom do we say it? In part, we say it to ourselves when we claim our desire and intention. But we are also committing ourselves to receiving a gift, and thus must address the giver. Prayer is the only way we can integrate our intention with our dependence on grace."

~~Gerald G. May, The Awakened Heart, p. 58.

I have read and heard that we are always beginners in the spiritual life. I believe that Saint Gregory of Nyssa wrote about this, too. Although sometimes embarrassing, it is also a relief to realize I do not "know it all," and am starting anew each moment. Thank you, God!

This is a day of new beginnings,
time to remember and move on,
time to believe what love is bringing,
laying to rest the pain that’s gone.

For by the life and death of Jesus,
love’s mighty Spirit, now as then,
can make for us a world of difference,
as faith and hope are born again.

Then let us, with the Spirit’s daring,
step from the past and leave behind
our disappointment, guilt, and grieving,
seeking new paths, and sure to find.

Christ is alive, and goes before us
to show and share what love can do.
This is a day of new beginnings;
our God is making all things new.

-Brian Wren, 1978

Discipleship

"The words of Mother Emmanuel, head of the Carmelite monastery in Mark Salzman's novel Lying Awake, could be words addressed to us: 'No matter how many times we hear what it costs to follow Christ, we're still shocked when the bill comes, and we wonder all over again if we can pay it.' This seemingly unattainable life of a disciple only reminds us that we are all works in progress. We are always letting go and learning to love with a more inclusive love. The call to discipleship invites us to go beyond where we are now, to open ourselves to divine love, and to live as friends. Each of us will live as a disciple in a way that corresponds to our openness to the Holy Spirit. Jesus has shown us the way of inclusive love and liberating power. But the details will be of our own making. The form we give to our discipleship will fit the circumstances, needs, and problems of our day in a way that witnesses to the vision of Jesus: that all peoples be brought under the inclusive reign of divine love." (200)

Gula, Richard M. The Call to Holiness: Embracing a Fully Christian Life. New York: Paulist Press, 2003.

Abundance

"Charity is not a matter of degree. It is never nice. It wells up out of a sense of abundance, spilling indiscriminately outward. True, your abundance may complement someone else's lack, which you are moved to fill, but since your lacks are being similarly filled, perhaps by the same person, perhaps by another, reciprocity rather than domination frames the interchanges. . . .But absolutely everybody has abundances.

". . . .an abundance may not take a form you much like."

~~Nancy Mairs, Ordinary Time: Cycles in Marriage, Faith, and Renewal, p. 163.

Nancy Mairs has an interesting article on "Finding the Holy Here and Now."

Spiritual Practices

"Spiritual practices become life transforming to the extent that they help us to see differently and to behave differently. Even though we may not always be able to change what we see, seeing it differently helps us to respond differently. Perception, remember, informs moral judgments. Once we see the stranger as neighbor in need, we might respond differently. Spiritual practices open us to see and judge all things in relation to our experience of God and our commitment to care about what God cares about." (155)

"Since God is ever present to us in the Spirit at the depths of human experience, we really cannot clearly separate our relationship to God (spirituality) from the way we live in the world (morality), for our relationship to God is mediated by the way we respond to all things. . . . Spirituality focuses on our relationship with God and morality on who we are to be and how we are to behave in the world. For the Christian believer, who we are and how we behave are functions of our experience of God." (211)

Gula, Richard M. The Call to Holiness: Embracing a Fully Christian Life. New York: Paulist Press, 2003.

This was a book I read in a long-ago ethics or morality class I took at the Oblate School of Theology, preparing for my master's degree in theology. I am looking at it again and seeing what wisdom Gula shares.

On Retreat

Even though I'll be in Texas on retreat, it won't quite be this warm!

Leaving tomorrow

This is where I am going for the next week on a prayer retreat. I have never been there before, so you can see all I've seen so far. Since I am not supposed to arrive until dinner time, I am going to the once monthly meeting of Christian Mysticism in San Antonio in the morning. The talks will be on The Cloud of Unknowing and Julian of Norwich. When that ends, I'll meet daughter MJ for lunch. We might even go to a movie: we're considering "Doubt" or "Milk."

Then I will drive another hour north of San Antonio to Blanco, TX where Well Spring Center is somewhere out in the country. I'll be there until Friday.

Tonight I've been baking three small turkey pot pies for my absence and also to freeze. Chicken and turkey pot pies are favorites in my family, with a good recipe from that old La Leche League cookbook Whole Foods for the Whole Family.

Although I'll be gone, come back and visit if you want to read quotes and/or see cartoons in my absence. One a day will pop up!

Friday Five: All About Me

From RevGalBlogPals:
Whether it's new friends or new loves or new employers, what are five things people should know about you? (Built off of the song from "Rent" - "Take me for what I am..." (I think that's the title)...

Though I'm rather late on this Friday, here are five things people should know about me:

1. I consider myself a Washingtonian even though I've lived longer in Texas than anywhere else in my life. The only house my parents ever owned is in Bellingham, WA, where we moved when my dad retired from the Marine Corps and I was in high school. I still own that house and wonder if I'll ever move back there.

2. I love books; I love to buy and own them; I especially love to read them. I mainly read theology books (mostly, but not restricted to, Christian), but also like mysteries and Harry Potter!But then I have to add current events, history, parenting, almost anything, though I'm not much into science (unless we can put "cosmology" in that category).

3. I like things to be clean, but I tend to clutter and pile stuff. I need to get rid of old clothes and books, but haven't. . . .

4. Which leads into my fourth attribute--procrastination. Possibly due to my excellent outcomes (and grades) from writing papers in high school and college the night before, I continue in that vein. I am better if you give me a deadline or designated day than being on my own.

5. I am loyal to my friends. I am poor about calling, but good about writing (snail) mail letters, which have lessened to cards in the past few years. I am coming to discern that many people value phone calls more than handwritten letters and need to integrate this into my life.

Blogging through the coming week

I have been spending some time looking at composition books in which I copied quotes I liked over the past decade or so. I chose some to post in the days I will be gone while I am at Sandy's prayer retreat. Starting on Saturday, those posts will appear "as scheduled" with Blogger's help. I doubt that I will have access to a computer for this week of retreating, which is probably good so that I will spend more time looking at the Holy rather than the computer screen.

Dualistic Thinking can be Death

"Death is what takes place within us when we look upon others not as gift, blessing, or stimulus but as threat, danger, competition. It is the death that comes to all who try to live by bread alone. This is the death that the Bible fears and gives us good reason to fear. It is not the final departure we usually think of when we speak of truth; it is that purposeless, empty existence devoid of genuine human relationships and filled with anxiety, silence, and loneliness."

~~Dorothee Soelle, Death by Bread Alone, p. 4.

This reminds me of dualistic thinking as described by Richard Rohr. I heard him say at that conference:

"God cannot 'get in' when we are in a moral, judging, worthiness contest."

When I put myself higher or lower than someone else, I am blocking my perception of God in them and in me. That is dualistic thinking and is a trap I fall into, especially since I think my enneagram number is six and doubting oneself is one of its (my) failings. But then I may be a nine, so nine or six is my conundrum.

Our New Priest

Our new priest is Sandy Casey-Martus, who is leaving All Saints Episcopal Church in Austin, TX as associate rector to be rector of my parish, All Saints Episcopal Church in Corpus Christi, TX. Her first Sunday is Feb. 15.

She and Carla R. Mancari are authors of a book The Lessons: How to Understand Spiritual Principles, Spiritual Activities, and Rising Emotions. In this book, they teach about Christ-Centered Prayer, which is also a website they maintain.

This is the topic of a conference I am attending all next week: January 17-23. I am eager to meet Sandy!

Right now is the best moment

A friend's mother is in her 80's and is getting forgetful. This friend took her mother to see her other children in California on one trip and to Wisconsin on another one. When she asked her mother at the end of the last trip, " What was your favorite part of our trip?", she immediately regretted it because she knew how much of her time her mother forgets.

However, her mother said, "Right now is the best time!"

Perhaps dementia or Alzheimer's cause Mrs. K. to remember little; still she spoke wisdom that I need to remember. Since I can see her diminutive and dumpy figure right now in my mind, I can also imagine her smiling and saying, "Right now is the best time!"

Blogging Friends Award

Missy gifted me with this sweet Friends Award:


Missy quotes Barbara, of Home in France, and I can say it no better than either Missy or Barbara:

As Barbara said, "The Friends Award isn't about being the most popular blogger or having the most read blog.

It is just because you are a friend."

I have met many exceptional and friendly people through my blog. It feels oddly pioneering sometimes, and I still have those moments of head shaking wonder and awe, but blogging has become a portal to a worldwide community of individuals that I clearly would never have met otherwise.

Here's the cleverly-written text of the award: "These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."

• Katherine E.
• Jennifer
• Catherine
• Mompriest
• Diane
• Kate
• Ellie
• Ruth
• Lauralew
  

Gene Robinson

New Hampshire Episcopal Bishop Gene Robinson, a vocal gay rights leader, will open President-elect Barack Obama's inauguration with a prayer on Sunday's kick-off event at the Lincoln Memorial.

"I am writing to tell you that President-Elect Obama and the Inaugural Committee have invited me to give the invocation at the opening event of the Inaugural Week activities, We are One, to be held at the Lincoln Memorial," Robinson wrote in an email to friends.

From The Huffington Post

Rejoice, as urged in the post below!

Rejoice!

by Shawn Gallaway

Be not lax in celebrating.
Be not lazy in the festive service of God.
Be ablaze with enthusiasm.
Let us be an alive, burning offering
before the altar of God.

~~Hildegard of Bingen

Our picture

I had reprints made of some digital pictures. It is rare that CB and I have our picture taken together and even more unusual, to have a pretty good picture. So this is a picture taken at Ben and Helen's wedding a month ago, at the beginning of December. Wow--my hair has gotten white!

Enneagram

Since hearing Russ Hudson and Richard Rohr speak about the Enneagram and Non-Dualistic Thinking, I have been talking and writing about the Enneagram and reading, too. Today I read this in Richard Rohr's book:

"Meditation and prayer play a central role in this (exercises that help us grow closer to God and ourselves) , because the Enneagram cannot be mastered on a purely intellectual level, not even by a Five. It is an experiential method in which through a mind of 'inner listening' I find out what 'voices' are at work within me. The 'discernment of spirits' is that instinctive spiritual authority that helps me to realize which of these voices will free me for an 'abundant life' (John 10:10) and which will lead me to jail and to death."

Rohr, Richard. The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective. New York: Crossroad Publishing Company, 2008. 231.

Today I ordered more books online about the Enneagram, some connected to spiritual direction, which I am keenly interested in.

Here are some links to good sites about the Enneagram:

The Enneagram Institute--founded and managed by Russ Hudson and Don Riso
This contains links to descriptions for the various types, Enneagram tests, and other sources.

9 Types.Com
This has links to various components of the personality types and other sites.

Enneagram Worldwide--founded by Helen Palmer
She also has this site:
Enneagram.Com

There's a funny dinner cartoon by Elizabeth Wagele, which I am unable to put on my blog, but will write down the dialogue below as it indicates the personality of the nine different types of the Enneagram. The cartoon is from her book entitled The Enneagram Made Easy.
And she has a link to "famous personality types" that is fun to look at.

Around a bountiful dinner table are seated nine people:
One: "Not enough food groups represented here."
Two: "It's so great to feel needed!"
Three: I need to eat and run. I'm swamped."
Four: "Cheap caviar--shocking!"
Five: "It's a talkative group. Good--that gets ME off the hook!"
Six: "She's leaving early. Doesn't she like us?"
Seven: "First I'll eat, then take some pictures, then go to my class, then. . ."
Eight: "Pass it down. Pass it ALL DOWN HERE!"
Nine: "I feel so CLOSE to everybody!"

Which type are you? These cartoon figures show me aspects of the personalities I can picture immediately.

Scenery in NM and west TX

CB and I visited the Petroglyph National Monument on New Year's Day morning. It was a time filled with beauty and awe and deep connection with the spiritual yearning of these people from 300-1,000 years ago.


Driving to and from Albuquerque, NM, we passed through desert territory with mesas, where there were many wind turbines atop them.

AND

THE SHINING WORD
“AND”

teaches us to say yes

And allows us to be both-and
And keeps us from either-or
And teaches us to be patient and long suffering
And is willing to wait for insight and integration
And keeps us from dualistic thinking
And does not divide the field of the moment
And helps us to live in the always imperfect now
And keeps us inclusive and compassionate toward everything
And demands that our contemplation become action
And insists that our action is also contemplative
And heals our racism, our sexism, heterosexism, and our classism
And keeps us from the false choice of liberal or conservative
And allows us to critique both sides of things
And allows us to enjoy both sides of things
And is far beyond any one political party
And helps us face and accept our own dark side
And allows us to ask for forgiveness and to apologize
And is the mystery of paradox in all things
And is the way of mercy
And makes daily, practical love possible
And does not trust love if it is not also justice
And does not trust justice if it is not also love
And is far beyond my religion versus your religion
And allows us to be both distinct and yet united
And is the very Mystery of Trinity
And is why we are called the
Center for Action AND Contemplation

This comes from Richard Rohr's Daily Meditation, which can be subscribed to here.

Dualistic Thinking

Dualistic thinking is the way most Western people automatically think--in opposites and in comparing. Good/bad; right/wrong; night/day; either/or. Richard Rohr stresses that contemplation gives one the openness of non-dual thinking. Since some bloggers asked about this from my post about Richard Rohr, I looked up some more about him and dualistic thinking. Thus, I found an interview in Australia on November 12, 2006. (Click on "show transcript.") Here is a specific excerpt where Fr. Richard answered a question about dualistic thinking:

"Stephen Crittenden: Let's go back to what do we mean by dualistic thinking, us and then principally, is that right?

"Richard Rohr: Yes. That the dual mind, which is the egoic operating system that we're all operating out of, knows by comparison, by differentiation, by distinction and by separation, it says 'I am not that'. It's a process of affirmation and denial, the classic Western debate and the smarter person is supposed to win. Dual thinking is very good in the world of science, mathematics, ordinary logic of getting you through the day. But once you approach mystery, infinity, eternity, God, the great concepts like freedom, the dualistic mind falls utterly short. It can't deal with it, it can't know it, it divides the field. You see, dualistic thinking is inherently a self-cancelling system. It always divides in the field. What contemplation does, and contemplation is simply my word for non-dual thinking, where you pull back and get your own ego and fear and agenda out of the way, and you look at things as they are, not as you want them to be, not as you need them to be, it just is what it is what it is. And you let that affront you and confront you. That's always a humiliation for the ego. So that's why people don't like to grow up into the contemplative mind, or non-dual thinking, because it is experienced as a loss of control."

Friday Five: Pancakes

RevGalBlogPals has this Friday Five by Sophia about pancakes:

1. Scratch or mix? Buttermilk or plain?
I always make them from scratch, rarely with buttermilk.

2. Pure and simple, or with additions cooked in?
When the kids were young, CB would cook either blueberry or apple pancakes. I usually cook plain ones.

3. For breakfast or for dinner?
Usually breakfast and a few times, for dinner.

4. Preferred syrup or other topping? How about the best side dish?
Maple syrup

5. Favorite pancake restaurant?
Probably Denny's. When we were on our trip to and from NM, CB and I discovered that we qualified for the "senior" discount at the Carlsbad, NM Denny's. Both times we were there, we ordered the Senior Grand Slam--and had pancakes with eggs for dinner!

Bonus: Any tasty recipes out there, for pancakes or other special breakfast dishes? Bring 'em on!
From the La Leche League cookbook Whole Foods for the Whole Family, here is a family favorite:

Cottage Cheese Pancakes

1/2 cup flour
1 c. cottage cheese (or tofu)
4 eggs
1/3 cup milk (approximately)
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. vanilla

Combine all ingredients except milk in blender and process at medium speed until smooth. Add milk until batter is like medium-thick pancake batter. Bake as for ordinary pancakes. Serve hot with fresh fruit, jam, hot applesauce or butter and cinnamon-sugar.

Our family loves melted butter and cinnamon-sugar on top. I usually have to double the recipe to make enough.

Notes from Richard Rohr's talks

I'm just going to copy down some of my notes from the talks Richard Rohr gave in Albuquerque, NM at the "Laughing and Weeping: The Enneagram as a Tool for Non-Dual Thinking" conference, Dec. 31, 2008-Jan. 3, 2009.

• highest level of thinking=wisdom=non-dualistic thinking
• honor incongruity without fixing, so you'll laugh and/or weep
• Training for conflict, to misunderstand through dualistic thinking, so the ego is invested in own opinion
• polarity thinking is the norm with comparisons, competition
• sin is self-defeating behavior; sin messes us up
• We are not punished for our sins, but by our sins.
• mystics loved and suffered profoundly, which is what destroys dualistic thinking
• Religion gives you patience with mystery, NOT certitude
• Ego is out of control when one is certain of eternity (heaven/hell), especially in judgment towards someone else
• God cannot "get in" when we are in a moral, judging, worthiness contest
  
• God doesn't need to eliminate the negative in us to love us
• If you pretend you're not wounded, you'll miss out on the mystery of God.
  

Sometimes

Sometimes
if you move carefully
through the forest

breathing
like the ones
in the old stories

who could cross
a shimmering bed of dry leaves
without a sound,

you come
to a place
whose only task

is to trouble you
with tiny
but frightening requests

conceived out of nowhere
but in this place
beginning to lead everywhere.

Requests to stop what
you are doing right now,
and

to stop what you
are becoming
while you do it,

questions
that can make
or unmake
a life,

questions
that have patiently
waited for you,

questions
that have no right
to go away.

~ David Whyte ~

(Everything is Waiting for You)

2008 Retrospetive Meme

I saw this meme when I was in New Mexico and thought it looked fun. It's a good way to "waste" time, even though it is one week into 2009. Here's how it goes:
If you'd like to play, here's what you do:
Take the first sentence of the first post of each month in 2008 and see if you notice any pattern or common theme.

January:Nothing is more practical than finding God,
That is, than falling in love in quite an absolute, final way.
What you fall in love with,
what seizes your imagination will affect everything.

February:I'll be driving to San Antonio tomorrow, and somewhere around there is this spot, though I've never seen it.

March:March 1 is the 60th day of the year (61st in leap years). There are 305 days remaining until the end of the year.

April:


May:I am saddened and very disappointed, as are these people at the United Methodist General Conference in Fort Worth, TX, that the majority of delegates (55%-45%) voted to keep the exclusionary wording the same for the United Methodist Church.

June:I wish CB and I were feeling this way, with everyone, especially MJ gone.

July:First day of July: My first child's birthday is on July 6, and his dad's is three weeks later.

August:It’s easier when I am alone—listen to the radio or cd in my car.

September:I miss being at the computer, especially visiting blogging friends.

October:This is my third beautiful day in Calgary, where they are experiencing a sudden Indian Summer.

November:And I am an old, fat, (not) naked woman for peace!

December:

Enneagram of the USA

While at the conference in Albuquerque, NM, Richard Rohr spoke about the United States being a corporate #3 on the enneagram. Threes strive for success and do everything for praise--to put it simplistically. Here's a brief snippet of what Richard Rohr writes in his book The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective:

"In the U.S. there is no motivation not to be a Three. Anyone who has mastered the Three game here will get to the top of the system. In this country Threes become CEOs, bishops, and presidents. That is one of the reasons why we are so often disappointed by our leaders. Every now and then it dawns on us how superficially things are managed up there. All their lives these people have been so busy climbing the ladder of success that it has become the sole focus of their lives. The Three is the prototype of the white male American. . . .

"We Americans have an extremely hard time seeing through the lies of our system. America, that 'kingdom of the good,' is exalted above every impure motive. This kind of deception is part of our system and lifestyle. . . .

"The Three is a type that grows out of affluence. . . The United States has to go a long way to meet its false collective self, to confront it, and acknowledge its susceptibility to lies, deceit, and illusion." (89)

Richard Rohr expressed hope of Barack Obama becoming our next president. From afar, Richard thinks that our new president is a 9, who are excellent peacemakers and mediators (when integrated).

For a quick overview of the personalities typified in the Enneagram, go here or here.

The Five Love Languages

Going to and from Albuquerque, CB and I listened to the four cd's of Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages. We were amazed at the insights we gained, even though they seem like "common sense." It is based upon the book of the same title. By listening to it together, we could stop the cd player in the car and talk or ponder silently together. The five love languages are:

1. Language of affirmation
2. Language of quality time
3. Language of receiving gifts
4. Language of acts of service
5. Language of physical touch

I wish I'd known more about these when I was a parenting young and adolescent children, too.

I am still planning to post about Richard Rohr's enneagram conference, but that will come later.

Missing E-Mail

Suddenly, I cannot find email from Dec. 13 until today! I had checked my email and discarded some while on the trip to NM, but the remaining ones were there this morning. I have no idea how three weeks of mail could disappear. I know there were messages to answer, so I am apologizing now for not. It's weird.

Blogger meet-up

Ellie and I met at the Enneagram Conference! She has three blogs: Child of Illusion, Does Not Wisdom Call?, and Meditation Matters. In fact, on one of them, she wrote about the conference, more specifically about a quote from Jung that Richard Rohr talked about, so please read this.

And here are Ellie and me:


There were 649 registered attendees. Richard Rohr and Russ Hudson were inspiring, authentic, and enervating.

We're home!

We got back from our trip to NM this evening. It is very nice to be home. MJ got home last night from her skiing trip with her boy friend and his family. So there are lots of clothes to wash! I have pictures to post and blogs to visit, but that'll happen tomorrow.

"We do not have to improve ourselves;

we just have to let go

of what blocks our heart."

~~Jack Kornfield

January 1, 2009

This morning CB and I visited the Petroglyph National Monument west of Albuquerque.We walked several miles along sandy trails with big black rocks all around. Every so often, we would see figures carved on the rocks, like serpents or birds or turtles. Some boulders had been disfigured by bullets over time. The website for the park states that over 20,000 petroglyphs are there. We didn't see that many, but I took pictures and will post some when I get home.

I have difficulties with MJ's laptop and don't know how to highlight with it, which sounds pretty dumb. Thus, I am not putting links in these NM posts. That's why I am not linking to Ellie's three blogs, which I love.

Because of the inspiration, humor and depth she provides, I am thrilled that I have met Ellie at the Enneagram conference here. She and I are excited by the insights and instruction of both Richard Rohr and Russ Hudson. Wow!

More about the conference and some pictures will be posted on my return to Corpus Christi, TX on Jan. 4.

Happy New Year!

Now

Albuquerque!

CB and I got to Albuquerque around noon today. It was a sunny day in the high 50s F. We wandered around Old Town and visited the Pueblo Indian Cultural Center. There were and are 19 Pueblo Indian tribes!

Tonight I registered for the "Laughing and Weeping" conference on the enneagram. I am excited by all the options, especially for New Year's Eve, but am worried that husband CB is waiting each day for me to be "done." I think I'll go to half of the New Year's Eve events, so I can spend the end of the evening with my husband.

I always vacillate about which number of the enneagram I am. . . .which is why I signed up for the pre-conference session tomorrow: "Know Your Number" with Suzanne Stabile.

I waver in my belief in the enneagram system, and I have been won over by Richard Rohr's interest, this conference, and reading Understanding the Enneagram by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson. (Russ Hudson is one of the speakers with Richard Rohr for this week.) We'll see what I think by Saturday afternoon, when we depart.

Here's a quote I really like at the beginning of that book:

"In addition to giving us insight into our day-to-day behaviors, the enneagram offers an answer to our spiritual yearnings because it shows us with great specificity how our personality has limited us, what our path of growth is, and where real fulfillment can be found. It teaches us that the longings and structures of our personality are actually useful guides to the greatest treasures of our soul. By regarding our self-defeating patterns and even our psychological pain and limitations as indicators of our spiritual capacities, we are able to see ourselves in a different light. With this new perspective comes compassion, healing, love, and transformation." (4-5)

Hope it's true.

Interrelationship

You are me, and I am you.
Isn't it obvious that we "inter-are"?
You cultivate the flower in yourself,
so that I will be beautiful.
I transform the garbage in myself,
so that you will not have to suffer.

I support you;
you support me.
I am in this world to offer you peace;
you are in this world to bring me joy.

~~Thich Nhat Hanh (1929-)

We're in Carlsbad, NM

Daughter MJ loaned us her new and quick laptop computer, so here I am in Carlsbad, NM. We left at 8 am and got here at about 5 pm (or 6 pm central time). MJ got to Winter Park, CO at about the same time; she's with her boy friend's family.

Getting ready to go

CB and I are taking down the Christmas decorations, boxing them up, and putting the tree outside. It seems early, but tomorrow we start our drive to Albuquerque, NM. We will not be back until January 4th, and we do not want to return to the dusty Christmas things still scattered around the house.

My break from getting ready for our trip and this cleaning is to come to the computer. My desire is to post some inspirational things for the time I'm gone, but I'm not sure that I'll get around to it! Maybe one or two. . . . .?

A Christmas picture

I only have time to post this one!


MJ, BJ, and DC playing the game "Puerto Rico." AE and KA were also playing, but they didn't want their picture taken.

MJ is 19; BJ is almost 24; DC is 29.

Richard Rohr Conference

By Monday, only our two dogs and one cat will be left at our house, to be taken care of by a long-time friend. MJ goes with her boy friend's family to Colorado to ski tomorrow. Also on Sunday, DC and AA will return to Austin and BJ goes back to Houston. They take their bulldog and Brittany Spaniel with them.

And on Monday morning, CB and I start our drive to Albuquerque, NM for the "Laughing and Weeping" conference. CB is not attending the sessions, but magnanimously agreed to go with me on this trip.

And I am going to meet fellow blogger Ellie at the conference. She's going, too! If you don't know Ellie yet, she has three blogs: Child of Illusion, Does Not Wisdom Call?, and Meditation Matters.

Five Dogs at Christmas

This is sweet Morgan, AE and KA's four month old cocker spaniel. She accompanied them on their travels from Seattle to Austin, TX and on to Cincinnati, Ohio. They'll return to Seattle on January 1st.

Sampson is one year old and weighs 50 pounds! He is DC and AA's dog. He and Morgan loved to wrestle and play. They moved so quickly that I had a hard time getting a picture of them playing together.

Here is Morgan with Cisco, the dog our children gave husband CB last Christmas. Cisco came from the Humane Society. We think he is about four years old.
Morgan is here with Baillie, our 13 year old cocker spaniel. AE gave her to me when she was a little puppy--that was such a big surprise!

Here is 1 1/2 year old Troy, Brittany Spaniel, who is BJ's dog. Troy runs and runs and has a hard time being still. He is outside much of the time.

Boxing Day

Christmas was lovely with our entire family together. Growing up near the Canadian border, I always heard of "Boxing Day" being the day after Christmas. I am thinking of that today, especially because a box arrived from my cousin Margaret from Alberta, Canada today. Sadly, it was a little late for AE and KA who left today. . . . but I am mailing all their books to them anyway media mail, so Margaret's offerings will fit into that box! (I've learned it's also Saint Stephen's Day.)

Early this morning strong and silent CB (I had to put that here, because AE was teasing me about using those adjectives for her dad) and I drove AE, KA and sweet cocker puppy Morgan to the San Antonio Airport. All except CB slept most of the two hour drive there.

CB and I dropped them off at the airport and then went shopping at The Container Store for half-price Christmas wrapping paper. I've always wanted to go there on Dec. 26, but never have driven to San Antonio on this date before. There were very few people there, which was nice for us. At the checkout counter, I got a phone call from AE, telling me that their plane to Chicago was delayed by three hours.

So we went back to the airport and got them. We had coffee at Starbucks, sitting outside so Morgan could wander a little bit while still on the leash. Then we drove to one of our favorite restaurants there, Twin Sisters. We sat outside again, with the pavement on the porch wet from the humidity. That was fun!

After a quick trip to Half-Price Books, we again took the girls and their puppy to the airport and left them there. CB and I drove home and got here in the late afternoon.

All the dogs miss Morgan, especially DC's bull dog Sampson. It was so funny to watch the two puppies play. Morgan was so little that she could even scoot under Sampson's tummy!

Tomorrow I will post pictures. I wanted to get a picture of all FIVE dogs together, but it was impossible to get them still at the same time in close proximity.

AE, KA and Morgan will hopefully get to Cincinnati tonight--they finally got to Chicago a few hours later than planned, only to find the flight to Cincinnati delayed also. Traveling with a puppy is much like going with a toddler, except that the puppy is usually happy.

Everyone else leaves on Sunday.

Love at Christmas

Maria Lactans
Artist: Reni, Guido, A.D. 1575-1642

Love came down at Christmas,
love all lovely, love divine;
love was born at Christmas:
star and angels gave the sign.

Worship we the Godhead,
love incarnate, love divine;
worship we our Jesus,
but wherewith the sacred sign?

Love shall be our token;
love be yours and love be mine,
Love to God and to all men,
love for plea and gift and sign.

---

Words: Christina Rossetti (1830-1894), 1885

Merry Christmas!

by Signe Wilkinson

Gingerbread house

Two days ago MJ baked the pieces for the gingerbread house. Yesterday she and KA put it together and decorated it. The note there tells everyone NOT to eat anything until Christmas Eve so people can admire it first. We have to wait until MJ's two brothers and DC's wife get here (with their two dogs!) tomorrow.

After hearing horror stories of all the snow in Seattle and Bellingham, WA, we are very grateful that AE and KA left Sea-Tac Airport before another foot of snow fell on Saturday. The pictures of all the people stuck for days at that airport make me glad I'm not flying anywhere this holiday season!

37 YEARS!

37 years ago today CB and I were married at Saint Paul's Episcopal Church in Bellingham, WA. It's pretty amazing that we are still married, especially as we were only 21 when we got married. That's why I have always told my children not to get married too young, which may be why my oldest son did not marry until he was 27.



37 years ago neither of us imagined living in Texas or having four children. Here we are.

And we are lucky enough to have all four of them coming home for Christmas. We are blessed.

Cat allergy alert

I don't have a cat allergy, but KA does. She and daughter AE are flying to Austin at this very moment, along with their cute cocker puppy, Morgan. Last Christmas poor KA was miserable and didn't complain at all. So this year we are taking a few actions to help (I hope!) alleviate some of the allergens, though probably not enough.

Husband CB spent the last few days shampooing the rugs. (They needed to be cleaned anyway.) And today I am vacuuming the furniture, hoping that will help.

Daughter MJ and boy friend CS are driving my car to Austin to meet them. They'll get home while we are at a wedding tonight.

Our other children will arrive here on Christmas Eve day.

Nativities

I collect nativity scenes. My family, especially daughter AE, has given me many lovely ethnic creches. Here are some of them:

This is the first nativity scene I ever had. My cousin Margaret, whom I visited this past fall in Calgary, Canada, gave it to me when she had traveled in France as a young woman.
Maybe this was my first introduction to Mary holding baby Jesus, which I love.

Friday Five: Countdown to Christmas

Songbird writes for RevGalPalsBlog: There are only five full days before Christmas Day, and whether you use them for shopping, wrapping, preaching, worshiping, singing or traveling or even wishing the whole darn thing were over last Tuesday, there's a good chance they will be busy ones.

Since I am not a pastor and since I have no paying job, my things "to do" are more mundane than everyone else's. They still hang over me though. Plus, I'm getting ready for our empty nest to swell to eight people with all my children and their partners coming here--and three dogs to add to our two!

1. Find MJ's stocking gift that I put in a "safe" place and cannot find.

2. Clean my office, so the sofa can fold out into its thin sofa-bed mattress.

3. Make all the cookies "ordered" by each member of my family, plus extras to give to some friends.

4. Plan the vegetarian and carnivore meals to be fixed next week and get all the ingredients. Then cook!

5. Clean and wash for the company, while the company is here, and after they leave!

Stir me from placidness

Are you familiar with the hymn, "Spirit of Gentleness"? We sang it yesterday at a communion service, and I was most struck with the phrase "Spirit of restlessness, stir me from placidness." This is a good prayer for me.

Spirit, spirit of gentleness,
blow through the wilderness, calling and free,
Spirit, spirit of restlessness,
stir me from placidness, wind, wind on the sea.

You moved on the waters, you called to the deep,
then you coaxed up the mountains from the valleys of sleep;
and over the eons you called to each thing;
“Awake from your slumbers and rise on your wings.”

You swept through the desert, you stung with the sand
and you goaded your people with a law and a land;
and when they were blinded with idols and lies,
then you spoke through your prophets to open their eyes.

You sang in a stable, you cried from a hill,
then you whispered in silence when the whole world was still;
and down in the city you called once again,
when you blew through your people on the rush of the wind.

You call from tomorrow, you break ancient schemes.
From the bondage of sorrow all the captives dream dreams;
our women see visions, our men clear their eyes.
With bold new decisions your people arise.

(James K. Manley (20th century), hymn-writer. Published in Everflowing Streams (1981). "Spirit," l. 1-4 (1978).)

Christmas Baking

I am not blogging much because daughter MJ is home from college. Daughters AE and KA from Seattle will be here on Saturday!

So I am baking a lot. Last night I made our family favorite "Holiday Sparklers" while MJ and her boy friend CS helped. Somehow I ruined the first two sheets of cookies because I haphazardly set the ovens 100 degrees above the needed temperature--425 instead of 325! That certainly produced crispy brown cookies that ended up in the trash can.

I asked each member of my family to tell me the ONE cookie they liked, so I would bake just the kinds that are favorites. Four out of eight said Holiday Sparklers, but others picked cookies from the best cookie cookbook I have ever found: The Wellesley Cookie Exchange Cookbook, which is out of print. My mother gave me my copy, which is well-worn now, in 1990.


I highly recommend this cookbook, as I have never tried a recipe in it that was not good! If you can find a good used copy, grab it!

Tonight I am baking Double Gingersnaps, a recipe submitted by Jody Saville:

1 1/2 cups butter
2 cups sugar
2 eggs
1/2 cup molasses
4 cups flour
2 tsp. baking soda
2 tsp. cinnamon
2 tsp. ground cloves
4 tsp. ground ginger
Sugar for rolling

Cream butter and sugar. Add eggs and molasses and blend well.

Mix dry ingredients together. Add half of dry mixture to creamed mixture and blend well. Add remaining half and blend by hand.

Chill dough for several hours. (Though I rarely do--the dough is sticky but manageable.)

At this point, you may bake whatever portion of the dough you desire, and refrigerate or freeze the remainder. (Dough keeps in the refrigerator, well covered, for at least a week. To freeze, wrap dough well in plastic or foil.)

To bake, pull off pieces of dough to make balls the size of a walnut. Roll the balls in sugar and place on ungreased cookie sheets.

Bake at 350 degrees F. for 15-18 minutes. Balls will flatten out and tops will be crackled.

(Recipe may be halved or doubled.) Makes 5-6 dozen cookies.

Come, Lord Jesus. Come.

Advent
by Christina Rossetti

"Come," Thou doest say to Angels,
To blessed Spirits, "Come";
"Come," to the Lambs of Thine Own flock,
Thy little Ones, "Come home."

"Come"--from the many-mansioned house
The gracious word is sent,
"Come"--from the ivory palaces
Unto the Penitent.

O Lord, restore us deaf and blind,
Unclose our lips tho' dumb;
Then say to us, "I come with speed,"
And we will answer, "Come."

Fourth Sunday of Advent reading in Run, Shepherds, Run: Poems for Advent and Christmas selected and presented by L. William Countryman, London: Morehouse, 2005. 47.

I think I like this so much, because it reminds of the early morning mass at Lebh Shomea in Sarita where the priest says over the Eucharist, "Come, Lord Jesus." The people respond with, "Come."

I haven't gone there for over a year. I miss the quiet time spent there.

Looking at their website, I am reminded of the beautiful creches they arrange with plants and flowers they have dried in the time before Advent. Here are pictures from their website:

As we prepare for the birth of our Lord Jesus, we invite you
to share some Advent scenes at the House of Prayer.

---

To join in our joyful celebration of the Incarnation, we invite you
to spend time with some Christmas scenes at the House of Prayer.