How privileged were you? MEME

I found this at Episcopollyanna, who got it from A Catholic Mom in Hawaii.

From What Privileges Do You Have?, based on an exercise about class and privilege developed by Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, Stacy Ploskonka at Illinois State University. If you participate in this blog game, they ask that you PLEASE acknowledge their copyright.

Bold the true statements.

1. Father went to college.

2. Father finished college.

3. Mother went to college.

4. Mother finished college.

5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor.

6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers.

7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home.

8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home.

9. Were read children's books by a parent.

10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18.

11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18.

12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively.

13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18.

14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs.

15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs.

16. Went to a private high school.

17. Went to summer camp.

18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18.

19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels.

20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18.

21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them.

22. There was original art in your house when you were a child [kid's work is original!]

23. You and your family lived in a single-family house.

24. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home.

25. You had your own room as a child.

26. You had a phone in your room before you turned 18.

27. Participated in a SAT/ACT prep course.

28. Had your own TV in your room in high school.

29. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in high school or college.

30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16.

31. Went on a cruise with your family.

32. Went on more than one cruise with your family.

33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up.

34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family.

It's interesting to reflect on these privileges, and I see that I had an advantage growing up as the only child of a Marine Corps officer.

Try this if you'd like or if you're like me today--blogging away for my Sabbath?

Learn to Love

You learn to speak by speaking, to study by studying, to run by running, to work by working; in just the same way, you learn to love by loving.
– Saint Francis de Sales

In learning to love, we start where we are – somewhat selfish, somewhat self-centered, but with a deep desire to relate lovingly to each other, to move closer and closer together. Love grows by practice; there is no other way. There will be setbacks as well as progress. But there is one immediate consolation: we don’t have to wait until our love is perfect to reap the benefits of it. Even with a little progress, everyone benefits – not only those we live with, but ourselves as well.

by Ecknath Easwaran

The Thought for the Day is today's entry from Eknath Easwaran's Words to Live By. (Copyright 1999 and 2005 by The Blue Mountain Center of Meditation.)

Select the Thought for the Day for any day of the year.

The Great Turning

Sit in Silence

"Two prisoners whose cells adjoin communicate with each other by knocking on the wall. The wall is the thing which separates them but is also their means of communication. It is the same with us and God. Every separation is a link." (132)

~~Simone Weil, Gravity and Grace


To learn that "every separation is a link," we must sit in silence.

"Contemplation"

by Guy Ferrer

Roberta Bondi on Prayer

“It is true that without grace, without God’s active presence, we would have no hope for healing these terrible wounds of the heart we carry. The fact is, however, that God very rarely comes into our lives and hits us over the head with help in such a way that we can’t resist it. Rather, God has made us in the image of God for friendship with Godself. Though God will often intervene to help when we can’t figure out how to help ourselves, God doesn’t generally run over us disrespectfully or patronizingly to fix us up without our own active participation.

“This means that, while we are dependent absolutely on God for our healing, the work we do in prayer really makes a difference. God provides the grace and the healing. Our job is to pray for the graceful presence of the God we need, to seek it, to make ourselves available to it, to wrestle with it, to endure boredom for the sake of it, to be wounded by it, to let ourselves be surprised by it, to let it show us things in ourselves we don’t want to see, to let it bring up painful memories, to deliberately expose ourselves to it, to be humbled by it, to be fed by it, to laugh with it, and above all to ask for it and expect to receive it. It is tough, I know, but it is worth it.” (38, 39)

~~Roberta C. Bondi
In Ordinary Time: Healing the Wounds of the Heart

Still raining

"Tokyo Rain" by Paul Stanley

Friday Five: Read Any Good Books Lately?

Well, pish posh! I think that some books ARE better than others! How about you?

1. What book have you read in the last six months that has really stayed with you? Why?

The End of Mr. Y by Scarlett Thomas is a book that I keep thinking about. It has interesting ideas of infinity and other dimensions, but this novel is also largely a framework for ideas and an opportunity to explore (digress into) areas of philosophy, physics, Heidegger, Derrida, Einstein, homeopathy, rare books, time travel, and plenty more. It captivated me, but was a disappointment at the end. I feel like the author got herself somewhere she couldn't resolve. It ties in with some of the ideas in the Pullman series His Dark Materials Trilogy, which I also read in the last six months--and liked, though I was also disappointed with Pullman's ending in the third book.

2. What is one of your favorite childhood books?
My very favorite was Little Women. I first read it when I was in a 3-4 grade combination, and I was a third grader. One of the fourth graders told me I wasn't a good enough reader to read Little Women, so, of course, I had to read it! (It also turned out that I skipped fourth grade at the end of the year and went on to fifth grade; thus my reading level was adequate for the book.) I was such a sentimental child that I cried and cried when Beth died. I loved Beth so much that I wanted to name a child her name, which is part of the reason why one of my daughters has "Elizabeth" for a middle name.

3. Do you have a favorite book of the Bible? Do tell!
I really like Mark. I love Mark's urgency and honesty about the disciples' failures. I like it being the first Gospel that was written.

4. What is one book you could read again and again?
The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck, as I have just re-read it. It has such simple but profound wisdom about living that I know I will continue to re-read it. I would have also said Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth by Richard Foster, but I am going to mention this for a Lenten book. I used to read this again every year and love the book.

5. Is there a book you would suggest for Lenten reading? What is it and why?
Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth by Richard Foster is an excellent small group study for Lent. I've done this for several years and it fits well into the practices of Lent, though the class usually lasts longer than the Lenten period.

Years ago I read We Preach Christ Crucified by Kenneth Leech and really liked it. The amazon.com reviews are mixed, but I remember it as being a good book. I think I will look at it again this Lent.

Cold, rainy soccer tournament!

When it's cold in south Texas, we all complain more than anyone else. We're not used to it!

Today it is only 46 degrees F. outside and raining. The school district here is having a soccer tournament today and tomorrow, which is an annual tradition for starting "official" soccer season. (Soccer season in TX must NOT conflict with football!) Unfortunately, the weather is expected to deteriorate as the day goes on.

MJ and her fellow Ray HS soccer players have played two games so far, and there is one more to go. They barely won the first game and were slaughtered by the El Paso team. It's yucky outside, and I've been sitting in the car to watch, even though I can't see too well. (None of the few other mothers are outside, either.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~
They won the third game! But it had dropped to 43 degrees F. by the early afternoon!

What an idea!

I merely took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues.

Duke Ellington

As strong as the weakest link. . . .

From Ellie at Child of Illusion. Thank you!

Forgiveness or Letting Go

At the end of November, I was drawn to look at the first three steps again. Today my new spiritual director, who is the interim priest at my church, suggested that I would be helped if I started attending Al-Anon meetings again. So tonight I have been looking through my 1994 copy of Courage to Change.

Here is a meditation from that book about forgiveness or letting go:

"The most loving form of detachment I have found has been forgiveness. Instead of thinking of it as an eraser to wipe another's slate clean or a gavel that I pound to pronounce someone 'not guilty,' I think of forgiveness as a pair of scissors. I use it to cut the strings of resentment that bind me to a problem or a past hurt. By releasing resentment, I set myself free.

"When I am consumed with negativity over another person's behavior, I have lost my focus. I needn't tolerate what I consider unacceptable, but wallowing in negativity will not alter the situation. If there is action to take, I am free to take it. Where I am powerless to change the situation, I will turn it over to my Higher Power. By truly letting go, I detach and forgive.

"When my thoughts are full of bitterness, fear, self-pity, and dreams of revenge, there is little room for love or for the quiet voice of guidance within me. I am willing to love myself enough to admit that resentments hold me back, and then I can let them go."

This so reminds me of Brother Lawrence, who talked about letting go like this:

--If I do something good, I thank God, and then I give it to God.

--If I do something wrong, I ask for forgiveness, and I give it to God.

I have needed all these reminders today. And I feel confirmed that Al-Anon is a place for me to be again. The first three steps are my prayer:

1. I admit I am powerless over persons, places, and things and that my life has become unmanageable.

2. I believe that a Power greater than myself can restore me to sanity.

3. I make the decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God.

Sr. Rosa Margarita from Zambia!

This is Sister Rosa Margarita in Zambia with the men who were giving her clinic some land. I saw her today, despite our missed opportunity on Saturday.

She was visiting her brother in Falfurrias, so he brought her to Driscoll, which is about 30 miles south of Corpus Christi. I met her at a service station there. I saw this smiling man and he waved at me--and that was her brother, who told her that he knew it was me because I drove into the parking lot, looking all around.

I drove Rosa Margarita to the Incarnate Word Convent in San Antonio today. We had a wonderful time talking with each other. I learned her faith story and how she became a nun, as well as much about her life in Zambia. If MJ or CB download the camera for me, I'll post a picture of her and me soon.

Spaghetti Sauce Recipe

Back in the Trivia meme comments, I Am Chorus asked for my spaghetti recipe. It's an easy recipe. In fact, it's in the children's section of the La Leche League cookbook Whole Foods for the Whole Family, with a few adaptations of my own. So here's my spaghetti recipe:

Easy Spaghetti with Meat Sauce

1-2 lb. ground beef
1/2 cup chopped onion (I use less)
1 cup tomato paste-- I alternate these with tomato sauce and/or
1 cup tomato puree-- tomato paste, depending what I have on hand.
1 small can spicy V-8 juice
dashes of Tabasco Sauce
1 tsp. oregano
1/2 tsp. basil
1 tsp. garlic salt
add pepper to taste

The original author of the recipe, Janice Knight Hartman of Millsboro, Delaware, also added 1/4 cup chopped green pepper and 1 cup mushrooms.

1. Brown meat with chopped onion. Drain off fat and blot.
2. Add tomato concoctions and stir well.
3. Season with the spices. Add 1 cup water, if you would like to. (I sometimes use water to rinse out the tomato-y cans, so that's when I add the water.)
4. Add mushrooms if you like.
5. Simmer for about an hour.

This freezes well and tastes good over pasta or spaghetti squash.

Building Inner Bridges

"Prayer is the bridge between our conscious and unconscious lives. Often there is a large abyss between our thoughts, words, and actions, and the many images that emerge in our daydreams and night dreams. To pray is to connect these two sides of our lives by going to the place where God dwells. Prayer is "soul work" because our souls are those sacred centers where all is one and where God is with us in the most intimate way.

"Thus, we must pray without ceasing so that we can become truly whole and holy."

~~Henri Nouwen
Henri Nouwen Society

To receive a meditation like this via email, you can subscribe here.

An email resource

You may or may not remember the Bruderhof "Daily Dig," which no longer exists. In fact, I posted one example from 2003 here. When I was searching for links to the Bruderhof, I found information about another source that emails quotes now. It is from Church of the Saviour in Washington, DC! (It spawned many ministries, including the Servant Leadership School.)

The email source is called Inward, Outward. If you go to this page, you will find the readings for the past week, with links to other readings. Today's reading, which also was emailed to me is:

A Gospel That Unsettles

by Oscar Romero

"A church that doesn't provoke any crises, a gospel that doesn't unsettle, a word of God that doesn't get under anyone's skin, a word of God that doesn't touch the real sin of the society in which it is being proclaimed - what gospel is that? Very nice, pious considerations that don't bother anyone, that's the way many would like preaching to be. Those preachers who avoid every thorny matter so as not to be harassed, so as not to have conflicts and difficulties, do not light up the world they live in."

Source: The Violence of Love

If you would like to subscribe to this free email service, go here.

Take 2 minutes!

Take less than 2 minutes and GO
watch and listen to
Praise Persists!

Thank you, Cynthia!

To learn more about this, go here.

Fairy Tales

"Grannie, do all fairy tales begin with 'Once Upon a Time'?"

"No, darling. There is a whole series of fairy tales that begin with 'If Elected I Promise.'"

ABC's of Friendship

A Friend.....

(A)ccepts you as you are

(B)elieves in "you"

(C)alls you just to say "HI"

(D)oesn't give up on you

(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)

(F)orgives your mistakes

(G)ives unconditionally

(H)elps you

(I)nvites you over

(J)ust "be" with you

(K)eeps you close at heart

(L)oves you for who you are

(M)akes a difference in your life

(N)ever Judges

(O)ffers support

(P)icks you up

(Q)uiets your fears

(R)aises your spirits

(S)ays nice things about you

(T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it

(U)nderstands you

(V)alues you

(W)alks beside you

(X)-plains things you don't understand

(Y)ells when you won't listen and

(Z)aps you back to reality

Trivia meme

Grandmere Mimi tagged me a few days ago, so it's about time to come through. BUT please read the Mercy post below!

- Link to the person that tagged you.
- Post the rules on your blog.
- Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
- Tag six people and at the end of your post, link to their blogs.
- Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

1. Unlike David, I do not leave things in the same place to find, so I am constantly losing my keys, my cell phone (which at least can be called, unless it's on "vibrate"), my rings, and my watch.

2. I used to be an only child, but now am an "orphan." (I really don't know if I can claim to be an "only child" anymore, since both my parents are dead.)

3. I cook most things from scratch, including macaroni and cheese, spaghetti sauce, and desserts. (I just asked MJ for another example, and she said, "You make everything from scratch!" which probably isn't true, but sounds good.)

4. The only soft drink I like is TAB, which I drink too much of. Sometimes I have to search for it, because stores do not stock it consistently.

5. I like to mix spoon-sized shredded wheat and Kellogg's Mueslix for my morning cereal. This has recently created a problem, because the monopoly supermarket here (HEB) stopped carrying this specific kind of cereal because they now sell their house brand, which I do not like.

6. I got my first cat when I was 46, because my youngest child (MJ) was in my best friend's 1st grade class and wanted one of the teacher's kittens.

I tag Jiff, Garten, Gannet Girl, Mompriest, Episcopollyanna, and Songbird.

Mercy

"Mercy and truth have met together;
Righteousness and peace have kissed each other,"
(Psalm 85:10).

"So when we think of mercy, we should be thinking first and foremost of a bond, an infallible link of love that holds the created and uncreated realms together. The mercy of God does not come and go, granted to some and refused to others. Why? Because it is unconditional--always there, underlying everything. It is literally the force that holds everything in existence, the gravitational field in which we live and move and have our being. Just like that little fish swimming desperately in search of water, we too--in the words of Psalm 103--'swim in mercy as in an endless sea.' Mercy is God's innermost being turned outward to sustain the visible and created world in unbreakable love." (25)

~~Cynthia Bourgeault
Mystical Hope: Trusting in the Mercy of God (Cloister Books)

Lost opportunity

This is the old Corpus Christi bus station, which I never saw. The current one is in a more utilitarian building. The interior is dark, drab, and shabby. Around noon, I sat inside, with brief walks outside, for about 45 minutes. I watched four different Valley Transit buses arrive, with no one I knew coming off of them.

After numerous inquiries at the main desk, I learned that the only San Antonio bus had already arrived and that the San Antonio-Falfurrias bus did NOT stop in Corpus Christi. So I left, without the two Incarnate Word sisters I'd expected to meet.

In fact, earlier today I'd written an excited post, which has since been deleted, about Sister Rosa Margarita coming to visit me today. She called to tell me several nights ago that she would stop here for several hours on her way to Falfurrias to see her brother, so I think she and her friend were on the bus that did not stop here.

Sister Rosa Margarita is in charge of a weekly clinic for AIDS orphans/infants in Mongu, Zambia. When I went there with four other people from the Oblate School of Theology in June 2006 we visited on one of the days that the caretakers would bring the children. There were very few mothers left--only grandmothers, aunts, sometimes sisters. They give out powdered formula for a week to each child. However, the time we visited, they only had powdered milk, because they did not have the money to buy the formula. It is a wonderful program and is for VIC--for "vulnerable infants and children."

I am disappointed that we didn't connect, but hope Sr. Rosa Margarita has a good visit with her family in Falfurrias.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you go to the link to the article in the San Antonio Express-News from Dec. 18, 2006, you'll find a spot to click on videos. If you do, there is one that features Sr. Rosa Margarita at the clinic we visited!

"Juno"

While daughter MJ is away at a soccer tournament with her high school team, husband CB and I went to see a movie! This is a rare event for us. We saw "Juno," which I really liked, but which CB said would suit MJ more than him.

About a quarter through the movie, a large splotch opened up on the screen and grew with a black ring around it until the screen was white. Someone said the film burned! We sat amidst much noise and giggling, being the oldest people there, for about ten minutes. Then the movie started again.

I am glad that MJ is a different type of girl than Juno, but I think she is as honest as Juno. There were some stereotypes in the movie, but the acting is sincere and may be more true-to-life than I realize (like the language used).

Friday Five: Las Mananitas

Mother Laura over at RevGals hosts today's Friday Five. It's birthday time in her family and she asks:

1. When is your birthday? Does anyone else (famous and/or in your own life) share it?
My birthday is on October 25. I did find this beautiful picture from Astronomy Picture of the Day for Oct. 25, 2005:



2. Do you prefer a big party or an intimate celebration for the chosen few?
I'd rather have an intimate celebration with family and/or friends.

3. Describe your most memorable birthday(s)--good, bad, or both.
When I turned 50, I was going to Oblate School of Theology in San Antonio, TX and my second child AE was going to Trinity University. On my birthday I had a 7 o'clock philosophy class, and so I was only going to meet AE for dinner, feeling a little sad that I couldn't be with the rest of the family. I was totally shocked to find everyone at La Madeleine's! Husband CB had taken 15 year old BJ and 11 year old MJ out of school to drive 2 1/2 hours to get to the restaurant on time. And son DH had driven from College Station to be there, too. I was totally surprised. They had also ordered La Madeleine to bake a cheesecake, which is my traditional birthday cake, for us to share. (It wasn't as good as my husband's!)

4. What is your favorite cake and ice cream? (Bonus points if you share the cake recipe). Or would you rather have a different treat altogether?
When husband CB was going to grad school at Oregon State University in Corvallis, OR, we lived in married student housing. I learned that one of CB's fellow organic chem buddies always baked his wife her birthday cake each year. I liked that idea so much that I convinced CB to do that for me, and he's been doing it for the past 30 years! And I always have cheesecake, and it is still the best one I've ever had.

CB adapted Craig Claiborne's recipe for New York Cheesecake:

2 pounds cream cheese, preferably at room temperature
1 tsp. vanilla
1 3/4 cups sugar
4 eggs

Coat and seal an 8 inch springform pan with butter. Set oven at 350 degrees.

In the large bowl of an electric mixer at medium-high speed, beat the cheese until it is absolutely smooth. When the cheese is smooth, beat in the vanilla and sugar. Beat well and then add the eggs one at a time. After adding eggs, do not beat any more than is necessary to mix ingredients thoroughly.

Turn the batter into the prepared pan. Level top.

Bake for 1 1/2 hours. Then turn the oven off and cool in the oven, with the door open.

Refrigerate for at least 5 to 6 hours or overnight. Craig Claiborne said that this freezes perfectly, but we've never tried that!

5. Surprise parties: love 'em or hate 'em?
I've only had one "surprise" party. When I was in 5th grade, my mother planned a surprise birthday party for me. When I was over at my friend Caroline's house, she received the invitation, and I still remember looking over her shoulder as she read it. I never told anyone else about it, and I never told my mother that I was not surprised, even when I was an adult. I acted surprised when the event occurred.

But I guess I did have another surprise party--when I was surprised on my 50th. That was a real surprise!

Gratitude vs Negative Thinking

My friend DHT told me a story about a therapist receiving a new client who brought in 38 journals. The prospective client said she wanted the counselor to read all these to see how mean her husband had been for the last 38 years--that she'd written down every rotten thing he did or said to her!

This really made me picture how that woman had influenced her worldview-- to look for the bad things about her husband. How different her life would have been (and THEIR life) if she had noticed and listed the GOOD things. What a different lens to look at life through.

When I attended Al-Anon meetings, I remember one of the suggestions was to write an ABC of gratitude. That often distracts one from dismal thoughts. I was reminded of this today when I looked at a post by I Am Chorus about a Bloggable Alphabet.

I know, when I went to Al-Anon, at times I would be so skeptical of the platitudes they espoused that I would dismiss them, and then I'd be unhappier. I know some people feel critical of "silly" things like listing positive things each day or making a gratitude list, too. But I eventually came to accept that there is TRUTH in some of the dorky sounding statements, like "one day at a time." There is truth that helps me to cope and live a better life--like being grateful.

The great medieval mystic, Meister Eckhardt, is noted to have once said, "If the only prayer you ever utter is 'Thank you!', it will be enough."

Truth

In all ten directions of the universe,
there is only one truth.
When we see clearly, the great teachings are the same.
What can ever be lost? What can be attained?
If we attain something, it was there from the beginning of time.
If we lose something, it is hiding somewhere near us.
Look: this ball in my pocket:
can you see how priceless it is?

~~Ryokan (1758-1831)

~~~~~~~~~~~~
There is a nice article about Ryokan being a hermit here.

"The hermit hut is for Ryokan a microcosm of life and the universe: "last year a foolish monk, this year no different." It is the setting for the cycle of being which he so sensitively portrays in his poetry."

I needed a chuckle

In memory of Len

Today was Len's memorial service. Two ministers and the founder of Mission 911 spoke about Len, with the last speaker urging us to pass on the baton/message that Len so enthusiastically lived. In fact, each family was given a new racing baton to make this more concrete to each of us. (When I'd arrived at the church and was sitting sometimes in prayer, I wondered what the church did with these two large baskets on either side of the center lectern--each piled with batons.)

When Len and his family lived in Chicago, they volunteered through their church to help with mission trips to the Navajo reservations in AZ and NM. Since moving to Corpus Christi about five years ago, Len worked with the Community of Shalom and Mission 911.

This is what Len Hall wrote in 1994 after his first mission trip:

We are back. Were we gone? Yes, and we carried home some of what we left on the Reservation --seeds of Christian love.

What we learned, we learned together! What we taught, we taught together. Teamwork. On God's team. How we labored is NOT the monument, not the gallons of paint or new lumber on the outhouse. Do not judge or measure this Mission. Our calendars and our yardsticks are inappropriate.

Just get ready to go back, or to send another in your place. Those seeds will need watering and weeding, both here and there.

Lord, help me to be a sower AND a seed for Navajo Mission II; keep me from being rocky ground.

Most of all, today I learned how Len was a friend to whomever he met, showing God's love.

Somehow, reading Matthew 25:31-46 with the passing on of Len's baton to each of us fits this man's life and memory.

Listen

From the January, 15, 2008 issue of The Christian Century:

Poet Scott Cairns recounts a Dan Rather interview with Mother Teresa in which he asked her what she says to God when she prays.

"I don't say anything," she said. "I just listen."

Rather then asked what God says to her.

"He doesn't say anything," she responded. "He just listens."

(Crux, Winter 2006)

Problem Faith

Straight, Not Narrow

found this wonderful quote on the Dallas Morning News religion blog:

"When faith simplifies things that need to remain complex instead of giving us strength to live with complexity, when it gives answers where none exist, instead of helping us appreciate the sacredness of living with questions, when it offers certainty when there needs to be doubt, and when it tells us that we have arrived when we should still be searching - then there is a problem with that faith."

- Rabbi Brad Hirschfield, author of the new book You Don't Have to be Be Wrong for Me to Be Right.

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1-9-08 I've decided to order this book-- You Don't Have to Be Wrong for Me to Be Right: Finding Faith Without Fanaticism . I'll let you know what I think of it when I read it.

Lost book

Have you ever lost a book?

I do that more often than I'd like, because I have too many piles of books around my house. Right before Christmas a lady at my old Methodist church dropped off a book about what Methodists believe, never asking me if I wanted to teach it, only that she'd like me to look at it. This was right when our children were arriving and all Christmas preparations were in full swing, and I tossed it aside. Now I have no idea what I did with the book! I've looked and looked, going through piles, scouring books shelves, and looking in odd places.

Now I'm waiting for her to call me back, so I can ask her for the TITLE of the book, which I cannot remember. I'll probably order her another copy. (And then I'll eventually have this book I am not interested in.)

The book must be in a very safe place.

Maybe I need to pray to St. Anthony of Padua, Patron Saint of Lost Items:


And I feel like these hunters who can't see the deer. Amidst all the books in many rooms, I don't see THE book!

Irritation

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.

Carl Jung

Going a different way

I have been re-reading The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth by Scott Peck, because my Saturday walking friend DH kept talking about it. It's something that I needed to re-read and made me more open to receiving the message at church yesterday. Scott Peck wrote a lot about growing in love by taking risks.

Yesterday (after all, it was Epiphany Sunday!) our interim priest Sheridan spoke about the gospel story (Matthew 2:1-12) of the Magi visiting Herod and then the child Jesus. First off, I was hit by the concept that knowledge, which I love to learn, does not guarantee that one will move to go for a life-changing event. The scribes whom Herod consulted had vast arrays of scrolls and knowledge so that they could proclaim where the child would be. . . . However, they were so caught up in their worlds of learning that they merely went back to their "books" and did not go anywhere at all. Familiarity defined their reality.

In contrast, the magi kept looking, even though the majestic trappings of a king were not in the little house where Mary and Jesus were. Still, "they knelt down and paid him homage. Then, opening their treasure chests, they offered him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. " (Mt. 2:11) They looked beyond the surface reality to see the Holy beneath or breaking through.

The next verse says "And having been warned in a dream not to return to Herod, they left for their own country by another road." They went home by a different road. They risked going on an unfamiliar path.

How often do we go "home" by an unknown way? Sheridan advised us not to hold too fast to the path we know and that with imagination, trust, and risk, we need to go home by a different road.

The familiarity of this story and my knowledge of the historical context and literary criticism, etc. has often made me dismiss the story as sweet but untrue. This way of interpreting the magi's decision to go another way brought much more meaning to me. Also, I can see that I can easily get stuck in my knowledge, like Herod's scribes did! Now I can view the story as TRUE but not factual, rather than sweet and silly.

Too often I choose to stick with the familiar, which means I am living out the 12 step aphorism that "insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results." In the same old pattern will I even notice anything new? Could I see the glimpse of God if I'm in my regular "carpeted rut?"

All this helped me yesterday to take the risk of going over to Len's house after he died, wanting to give his wife a hug. This is something I worried and struggled over, as I was brought up "not to bother" or "intrude" upon people. It has been a long road to learn to follow nudges and trust that reaching out is the right thing to do. No one answered the doorbell, but I left a note and felt that I had "gone home a different way."

Heaven

By cartoonist Bill McLemore of South Carolina.

Len died this morning. Please pray for his family.

Treasonous Prayer

by Jim Wallis

As long as we do not pray for our enemies, we continue to see only our own point of view - our own righteousness - and to ignore their perspective. Prayer breaks down the distinctions between us and them. To do violence to others, you must make them enemies. Prayer, on the other hand, makes enemies into friends.

When we have brought our enemies into our hearts in prayer, it becomes difficult to maintain the hostility necessary for violence. In bringing them close to us, prayer even serves to protect our enemies. Thus prayer undermines the propaganda and policies designed to make us hate and fear our enemies. By softening our hearts towards our adversaries, prayer can even become treasonous. Fervent prayer for our enemies is a great obstacle to war and the feelings that lead to war.

From the Bruderhof "Daily Dig" of Feb. 8, 2003. (Since this no longer exists, I wish I had saved more of these than I have!)

Father Kelly Nemeck spoke on Origen

Today I drove to and from San Antonio with friend MB to hear a lecture about Origin by Fr. Francis Kelly Nemeck of Lebh Shomea. This is in a course on Christian Mysticism, which is sponsored by the Oblate School of Theology and Contemplative Outreach of SA; there is a two-hour class once a month.

MB and I were thrilled to have Fr. Kelly speak, as we have come to know him at Lebh Shomea House of Prayer. (Fr. Kelly wrote about Lebh Shomea and its history here.) I initially began taking classes at Oblate School of Theology, because of Fr. Kelly, who is a priest of the Missionary Oblates of Mary Immaculate. His quiet humor, years of dedicated service and prayer, and deep contemplative knowledge bless those around him.

I was pleased to find an article from 2005 about Lebh Shomea, with a glimpse of Fr. Kelly:

It suits Nemeck just fine, though. A frail man with an easy smile who deflects the South Texas sun with a wide-brimmed cowboy hat, he speaks slowly and selects his words with care.

"Silence is different from the absence of sound," Nemeck said from his seat on a porch, watching the mesquite trees sway in the coastal breeze. "Silence is listening to God in and through nature. It quiets you down from the feverish pace of so much of our society."

The "rat race" creates a void in people, Nemeck said.

"Silence is a kind of void, but it's a fulfilling void," he said. "The void of the fast pace leaves you frazzled, but the void of silence leaves you receptive."

Nemeck, who wrote his doctoral thesis on "the positive and constructive value of human suffering," stressed that the silence observed at Lebh Shomea is the result of discipline, not rigid vows.

"There's no idle conversation," he said. "We address what needs to be addressed."

Go here to read the rest of the article, which is by Brian Chasnoff.

Light a candle

It is possible to light a cyber candle which will "burn" for 48 hours at Gratefulness.org. This reminds me of the Lourdes Grotto on the grounds of the Oblate School of Theology. When I had a friend dying while I was a student there, I would light a candle and leave it in the grotto, where it would also burn for 48 hours. I liked that. Being there was my first experiences of lighting candles as prayers.

I cannot go there, but I can light a candle at home and also a symbol of one at the site at Gratefulness.org. You can, too.

Prayer:

Lord, I hear your voice calling. Empower me to be your representative this day. May all I meet receive the gift of hope through the power of the Holy Spirit working in and through me. Let me remember that the light of a single candle defies the darkness of the world. It is time for me to arise and shine. Amen.
Disciplines

How do you help?

Len and Wendy are dying. How do I help? How do I help their loved ones? Deep sadness, and I'm only a friend, even a distant one for Wendy. This reminds me of seeing the pain of the world in the Virgin of Vladimir's eyes. Joining in the pain of the world, in our interdependence.

Seeking help, I went to google and sought prayers for the dying. I was surprised to find some prayers that comforted me here. Let us pray.

Loving Spirit of God, have mercy on the dying

• Those dying in pain and suffering
• Those dying in fear and loneliness
• Those dying from hunger and a lack of physical resources
• Those dying violent deaths
• Those dying without any knowledge of your infinite tenderness and compassion.

Bring to all a sense of your presence.Guard them as the apple of your eye. Shelter them in the shadow of your wings and enfold them in your presence. This we ask through Christ our Lord, Amen.

Begin!

Jiff has come back to blogging after three weeks away from cyberspace. She posted a profound post-Christmas reflection by Howard Thurman that goes so well with what Dr. Martin Luther King said in the post below that I'm copying it here. Thank you, Jiff!

When the song of the angels is stilled
When the star in the sky is gone
When the kings and princes are home
When the shepherds are back with their flocks
The work of Christmas begins:
To find the lost
To heal the broken
To feed the hungry
To release the prisoner
To rebuild the nations
To bring peace among the people
To make music in the heart.

–Howard Thurman

And I knew I loved this from before--I posted it last month as What We Must Be. (Thanks again for that, Mike!) Maybe I'll learn this lesson if I keep seeing these words, reading them, and even posting them again!

Interdependence

“As long as there is poverty in the world I can never be rich, even if I have a billion dollars.

“As long as diseases are rampant and millions of people in this world cannot expect to live more than 28 or 30 years, I can never be totally healthy even if I just got a good checkup at Mayo Clinic.

“I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be.

“This is the way our world is made. No individual or nation can stand out boasting of being independent. We are interdependent.”

—Dr. Martin L. Luther King Jr.
“The Community of Man”
The Words of Martin Luther King, Jr.

Art by Jamie Winter: "Morning"

love is more thicker than forget

love is more thicker than forget
more thinner than recall
more seldom than a wave is wet
more frequent than to fail

it is most mad and moonly
and less it shall unbe
than all the sea which only
is deeper than the sea

love is less always than to win
less never than alive
less bigger than the least begin
less littler than forgive

it is most sane and sunly
and more it cannot die
than all the sky which only
is higher than the sky

~~e. e. cummings

St. Joseph, Patron of a Peaceful Death

It was in the seventeenth century, during the last violent outbreak of the plague in Europe, that St. Joseph became especially known as patron of the dying. Faced with the prospect of sudden death, many people urgently desired help for dying a good death.

I went with other members of my EFM group to say goodbye to Wendy, a member of our group, who is dying. She has been in the hospital for the past three weeks in a coma and in pain. The doctors and her husband feel that she will die in the next few days. That is why I googled a "peaceful death" and discovered that St. Joseph is the Patron of a Peaceful Death. And this is what I found:

Why is St. Joseph the Patron of a Happy Death. Why? Because he was the only person on earth given this privilege, or rather, reward by God to die in the arms of Jesus and Mary. Can you imagine dying in the very arms of Jesus and Mary? What a privilege for St. Joseph. Well, you know, St. Joseph was given by God this mission on earth to take care of the two most important treasures of God, namely, Jesus and Mary. He was the one to take care of Jesus and Mary. And so, as a reward, he was given the privilege to die in their arms in a happy and peaceful death. It is said that he died before Jesus and Mary, also as a privilege, because God wanted to spare him from the sufferings that Jesus and Mary suffered. It would be very, very difficult for him to see Jesus dying on the cross and to see Mary suffering at the foot of the cross. He had suffered so much on earth, and that was enough. He was exempted by God from the pains of that suffering.

Wendy's husband took us up to the meditation room at an upper level of the hospital, and we participated in a Compline Service from the Book of Common Prayer. He spoke with us about his wife, and we were blessed to be together to pray and support each other. He said it was a miracle that Wendy had lived to be one year old, let alone an adult who had married him twenty years ago. Afterwards, one at a time, we each went with him to say goodbye to Wendy in her ICU room. She looked very peaceful.

On a different floor of the ICU is the husband of JDH, a friend from the Friday Renovare Group that meets each week at my house. He has been there since Friday with an infection that has not been identified yet. He is not responding to treatment and is septic.

When I walked the labyrinth on New Year's Eve, I was dedicating the walk to Len, JDH's husband. While I journeyed the labyrinth, I found myself lifting up both Len and Wendy. God guided me to pray, and I am grateful.

Life is very fragile. Both these people suddenly went into the hospital with infections. Almost like--one day here, next day gone. With both Wendy and Len and their families, I sense reliance upon God. They are not asking, "WHY?" Instead, they are seeing WHO is with them. In the sadness and darkness, there is the Light of Love and gratitude. I am blessed to be among their friends.

Please lift Wendy and Len into the Light of God.

Mary Earle

Mary Earle, an Episcopal priest, spiritual director, and author, writes often for ExploreFaith.org. I also heard her speak about the Desert Ammas last month. (She also provided the quote from the post below this one.)

Today I received the ExploreFaith.org newsletter, and she had an excerpt entitled “A Celtic Christmas: Celebrating the Sacred in All Creation” from which the following quote is from. Go back to the article to read the rest of Mary Earle’s article.

“The first time I went to Wales in 1994, Patrick Thomas, Welsh author and Anglican priest, told us that in every Welsh nativity scene, a washerwoman accompanies Mary, Joseph and Jesus at the manger. For the Welsh tradition, if Jesus isn’t born daily into the common household, then there’s really no point of celebrating the birth at Bethlehem. Jesus’ birth, singular as it is, also shows us the sacredness of each child, knit together in the mother’s womb by God’s own Spirit. Jesus’ birth reminds us that each household is dear to God.”

Watch for the light

Today is the time!

Nothing is more practical than finding God,

That is, than falling in love in quite an absolute, final way.
What you fall in love with,

what seizes your imagination will affect everything.

It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning,

what you do with your evenings,

how you spend your weekends,

what you read,

who you know,

what breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.

Fall in love,

stay in love, and

it will decide everything.

~~Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

a new year
rising from wild seas
a few stars

~~Jane Reichhold

Texas: Too True

By Etta Hulme for Fort Worth Star-Telegram.

Spiritually Literate New Year's Resolutions

Ellie at Meditation Matters posted about "Spiritually Literate Resolutions" at the site Spirituality and Practice. The resolutions are copied from there and are authored by Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat, with links in each one to spots on their website. These are good to ponder and to commit to.

1. I will live in the present moment. I will not obsess about the past or worry about the future.

2. I will cultivate the art of making connections. I will pay attention to how my life is intimately related to all life on the planet.

3. I will be thankful for all the blessings in my life. I will spell out my days with a grammar of gratitude.

4. I will practice hospitality in a world where too often strangers are feared, enemies are hated, and the "other" is shunned. I will welcome guests and alien ideas with graciousness.

5. I will seek liberty and justice for all. I will work for a free and a fair world.

6. I will add to the planet's fund of good will by practicing little acts of kindness, brief words of encouragement, and manifold expressions of courtesy.

7. I will cultivate the skill of deep listening. I will remember that all things in the world want to be heard, as do the many voices inside me.

8. I will practice reverence for life by seeing the sacred in, with, and under all things of the world.

9. I will give up trying to hide, deny, or escape from my imperfections. I will listen to what my shadow side has to say to me.

10. I will be willing to learn from the spiritual teachers all around me, however unlikely or unlike me they may be.

Bring the Light

Cards by Anne can be ordered from her website.

2007 Blogging Year in Review

Visiting Talking to Myself, I saw this idea of reviewing blog entries for the past year. Since I only started blogging in May, my "year" starts there. . . . But, if you try this, your year might even start in January 2007! These are the first sentences of the first post I did for each month in 2007 that I blogged.

May: When I went to the Shalem Regional Retreat in January 2006, I was mesmerized by the icon of the Virgin of Vladimir (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theotokos_of_Vladimir).

June: While writing my talk for the All Saints Episcopal Church women's luncheon, I kept seeing that I didn't see God, but God was in charge!

July: Avoiding walking away from the computer, here is a leap into the latest meme:

Four Jobs I've Had
elementary school teacher
pre-school teacher
typist
coffee shop cook/cashier

August: I love books, and not just Harry Potter books.

September: MJ and I returned from Austin late this afternoon, driving through sunshine, cloudy skies, and sometimes rain.

October: October 1st, and that's what I think I should be seeing--but no hills here on the coastal plain of south Texas and no autumn colors.

November: Thanks to my eldest daughter AE nudging me, here is the announcement that my youngest daughter completed her application to college today!

December: I love books!

This was an easy way "to look back" over the year--kind of a "review." Try it and see what you end up with, especially if you've been blogging for the entire 2007 year.

We're all together

Christmas reminds us that it is not enough to bring God into our hearts. When God comes, God never comes alone. Jesus asks us to take in his strange friends, his dispossessed and uprooted children, his unpopular causes and projects.

~~Doris Donnelly

Almost that time!

By Bob Erskine for the Episcopal Diocese of Washington

Little Prayers

“Any normal person can develop a habit of making every glance at another a gentle pressure of prayer, until, at last, the whole day is as full of little prayers as the sky is full of stars. There develops a sweet flowing into us from God, and an endless flowing out toward humanity. The quiet rhythm of heaven can be ours in the midst of a crowded, troubled, and desperate world. And the terrible world itself gradually changes around us when we live in His peace.”

Frank C. Laubach, Prayer: The Mightiest Force in the World, pp. 90-91

Let us pray that this may be so.

Seven Lies

Wyld tagged me for this game of lying or (more politely) of telling seven untrue things about me, which may be fun or not. . . .

1.
I have run and completed the Boston Marathon five times.

2. I have had to hide my ancestry, which comes from the same line as Werner Eiselen, the man who designed apartheid in South Africa.

3. I originally had the idea of selling sagebrush on the internet, but the idea was stolen from me by my sister's husband's girl friend's father, who lives in Alaska.

4. I wrote the book "Gazillions of Gnats," which was a flop because of

5. I have the second sight and have predicted such things as Elizabeth Taylor's many divorces, the rise of inflation, and Alaska becoming a state, but I never foresaw there being two Bushes in the White House--only an increase in rose bushes.

6.

Our house is made of tires and bottles, which I constructed in my spare time.

7. I teach skateboarding to mothers.

I tag anyone who wants to live in fantasy. . . .

Transformation

Out of compassion I destroy the darkness of their ignorance. From within them I light the lamp of wisdom and dispel all darkness from their lives.
– Bhagavad Gita

"With infinite tenderness, the Lord lets it dawn on us only gradually that we are not separate, that we belong entirely to him. If this realization were to come overnight, ordinary people like you and me would not be able to withstand it; it would be more than our nervous systems could bear. That is why the Lord is so gentle with us; he spreads the transformation from separateness to unity out over many years so that all these changes in the mind and body can take place gradually. Often we are not even aware they are taking place until we look back and remember how we were some years before.

"We should not ask when illumination will come. We should have a patient impatience to reach the goal. Finally, after many years, no matter what our past has been, we will begin to live in the light that knows no night. The temple may have been dark for a thousand years, but once the lamp is lit, every corner will be ablaze with light. "

~~Eknath Easwaran

The Thought for the Day is today's entry from Eknath Easwaran's Words to Live By. (Copyright 1999 and 2005 by The Blue Mountain Center of Meditation.)

Try LookPink!

My daughter AE sent me a link to a new search engine that raises revenues to pay for free mammograms for women. I put a link to it to the top right.

The lookPink Search Engine was founded to help offer free mammograms to women in need - women for whom early detection would not otherwise be possible. It was officially launched in November 2006, and hopefully the site will establish itself as a leader in online activism and in the fight to prevent breast cancer deaths.

The lookPink Search Engine provides a feel-good way to help promote awareness and prevent breast cancer deaths every day. We provide top-class search results while contributing search revenues to support free mammograms for women in need.

The site uses the Yahoo search engine, so it's up to you to decide what to use. It just seems like a good idea to contribute to mammograms for underprivileged women.

Silence by Shusako Endo

If you have not read Silence, I urge you to do so. It is a profound, disturbing, and beautifully written book about a Portuguese priest in Japan in 1614 when the few Christian converts there were persecuted. He struggles throughout with the silence of God.


I was reminded of this book when I saw a link to an article "Japan's 'Hidden Christians' Face Extinction," which is about the few remaining descendants of those Christian converts from the 16th and 17th Centuries.


Amy Welborn writes about the author:

"Shusaku Endo (1923-1996) used these themes in his many novels and short stories. Endo, baptized at the age of eleven because his mother had turned to the faith in the wake of personal difficulties, described his Catholicism as “a kind of ready-made suit…I had to decide either to make this ready-made suit fit my body or get rid of it and find another suit that fitted…”

"As a Christian child in Japan, Endo was taunted by his peers for his religion. As a student come to France after World War II to study Catholic novelists, his faith was irrelevant to those who may have shared it, but who deplored him nonetheless because he was Japanese. It seemed, at that point, that it would have to be the suit that changed – it brought him nothing but suffering.

"But on the way back to Japan from Europe, Endo visited Palestine. In walking where Jesus himself had, he came to understand that the Christianity he had known was incomplete, for it had never revealed to him the Jesus who had lived, suffered and died for the outcast. It was this Jesus, he realized, who could reach beyond culture and connect with the Japanese soul."

~~~~~~

This is such a monumental book that I need to re-read it. It is not easy to read, but I highly recommend it. Here is a quote to give you a glimpse of the imagery Endo uses about harsh circumstances:

"As I pushed open the wet door, the song of the birds broke in from the trees like the rising of a fountain. Never before had I felt so deeply the sheer joy of being alive. We sat down near the hut and took off our kimonos. In the seams of the cloth the firmly entrenched lice looked just like white dust, and as I crushed them one by one with a stone I felt an inexpressible thrill of delight. Is this what the officials feel when they capture and kill Christians?"

Home Is Where Your Heart Is

The transition to adulthood for one's children is what parents desire. It is a revelation for me to see myself on the other side--as one of the parents to be visited and left behind. I see that my adult children come"home" for some holidays, like Christmas, and I also see that they are glad to return to their own homes, which are their own not their parents'. This is the way it should be, I think.

I remember feeling this way and wishing I hadn't stayed so long at my parents' home, especially after my mother had died and only my dad was left. My father was a difficult person to be around. Three days would have been an ideal visit, which did not seem feasible when spending all the money to fly from Texas to Washington State and back again. I knew we would have had easier visits if I had lived closer and could drop in and leave on the same day. That would have been much more comfortable for my dad, for me, and for my children.

Having one's nuclear family living nearby seems unlikely for us. I know one family that grew up here in Corpus Christi, and the parents and four children with their families live in a three-block radius of each other! That seems quite unusual. My husband's family has his parents and two siblings living in Bellingham, WA, with another living in Seattle, and CB way down here in Texas. I guess the pattern of staying together was broken with him moving away and with me coming from a military family that always was coming and going. Now our children are following in our footsteps.

CB and I are lucky that DC and wife AA live only four hours away--in Austin. And son BJ is in his trailer with his dog Troy about 1 1/2 hours east of us. That's pretty close compared to the distance CB and I have lived away from our families in WA State. Only daughter AE and KA live in Seattle, which makes them living in closer proximity to CB's family than he is!

This holiday season, I am seeing my children leave us and they are happy to do so. That's the way it should be, but it's harder for me to let go of them than I'd realized. With AE leaving for the Northwest tomorrow, I see her eagerly packing, but I notice that with a little pang of regret that she is happily going away. Still, I'm glad, because she's going home to be with her beloved KA. That is the way it ought to be.

"Home is where the heart is"--and that's where your special loved one is, too. I'm glad that two of my adult children have partners to love. At least, BJ has his puppy to love!