"My Stroke of Insight" book

Due to the TED Talks video of Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, I had to read Taylor's book My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey. You may recall that I wrote about her video here.

At the same time of reading Taylor's book, I've also been Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61) , so that together these books brought great insight into the Presence of God always with us.

I am amazed at the intelligence and determination of Taylor in recovering from the stroke she suffered at the age of 37. You can see all that if you watch the 18 minute video of her TED talk.

Since she was (and is) a neuroanatomist, she had great knowledge and confidence in her brain as she suffered the stroke. In fact, she remembers telling herself when she realized what was happening: "Yep, I'm having a stroke. . .but I'm a very busy woman! All right, since I can't stop this stroke from happening, then, okay, I'll do this for a week! I'll learn what I need to know about how my brain creates my perception of reality and then I'll meet my schedule, next week. Now, what am I doing? Getting help. I must stay focused and get help." And she pleaded with herself: "Remember, please remember everything you are experiencing! Let this be my stroke of insight into the disintegration of my own cognitive mind." (46)

She prepares the reader for what happened by spending two beginning chapters describing in simple terms how the brain works. (I needed that info!) The she describes the stroke as she remembers and how her recovery went, which lasted more than eight years.

Taylor lost all her understanding of language and her ability to speak; she lost awareness of where her body started and ended; she lost much movement. She gained an awareness of her unity with ALL and even wondered at one point how she'd ever fit back into her little body. She became aware of her own composition of cells, as well as seeing the cellular makeup of her surroundings.

As the bleeding in the left side of her brain progressed, she suddenly noticed SILENCE. The chatter of thinking had stopped. Taylor believes that was because the left side of her brain was losing its various functions, so she relied on the right side, which was perceiving the bigger picture of Unity with ALL. She writes:

"In place of that constant chatter that had attached me to the details of my life, I felt enfolded by a blanket of tranquil euphoria. . . As the language centers in my left hemisphere grew increasingly silent and I became detached from the memories of my life, I was comforted by an expanding sense of grace. In this void of higher cognition and details pertaining to my normal life, my consciousness soared into an all knowingness, a 'being at one' with the universe, if you will." (41)

In the hospital, she could not understand what anyone said to her. She said she could sense whether someone brought positive and loving energy towards her or negative attitudes. The people who came close to her and talked softly and lovingly brought her to pay attention, which was a great effort. However, those people who were abrupt, hurried and talked loudly (to MAKE her understand!) caused her to retreat into herself to the "la-la-land" where she felt tranquility.

This makes me think of the energy that emanates from each of us and how our thoughts and/or prayers affect others. This goes along with the quote I have at the top of my blog by Quaker Harold Loukes: "An act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life as an act of love that succeeds, for love is measured by its own fullness, not by its reception." That gives me such hope for change in the world--by our hopes, prayers, and love.

In her recovery, Taylor became aware of how the cells in her body reacted to strong feelings and the ingestions of such foods that contained caffeine and sugar. She made choices to avoid agitation of the cells in her boy by refraining from caffeine and sugar (which I should do) and choosing to respond differently to situations so that anger or fear would not immediately appear unless needed. She wrote:

"When I become conscious of what cognitive loops my brain is running, I then focus on how these loops feel physiologically inside my body. Do I feel alert? Are my eyes dilated? Is my breath deep or shallow? Do I feel tightness in my chest? Do I feel lightness in my head? Is my stomach upset/ Do I feel antsy or anxious? Are my legs jiggling? Neuronal loops (circuits) of fear, anxiety or anger, can be triggered by all sorts of different stimulation. But once triggered, these different emotions produce a predictable physiological response that you can train yourself to consciously observe." (151)

Being aware of the present moment is a spiritual practice in all religions or spiritualities. This is what she's emphasizing. Taylor felt enlightenment or egolessness due to the effects of her stroke. Suddenly she didn't have all those chattering thoughts, which we try to rid ourselves of through meditation, contemplation, centering prayer and other disciplines.

Her experiences made me feel that a scientist observed the spiritual reality I believe in. Each of us has the ability to perceive our unity and connection. We need to pay attention!

"Step one to experiencing inner peace is the willingness to be present in the right here, right now." (159)

"Your stuff is your stuff, and my stuff is my stuff. Feeling deep inner peace and sharing kindness is always a choice for either of us. Forgiving others and forgiving myself is always a choice. Seeing this moment as a perfect moment is always a choice." (148)