Easter Pictures, mostly with dogs!

DC's wife AA with their dog Sampson

MJ with Baillie, Troy (BJ's dog), and Cisco

MJ with Troy

DC and CB with Sampson and Baillie

DC and AA after church on Easter

DC and Sampson

BJ and Troy

BJ and squinting Jan

Dinners with Jim Haynes

Today in EFM, a member read an essay by Jim Haynes from NPR's "This I Believe".

Every week for the past 30 years, Jim Haynes, 75, has hosted a dinner party in his home in Paris. Anyone who calls or e-mails to attend – even total strangers – is welcome. He has huge crowds who come on Sunday nights. And there has even been a cookbook published about the meals over the years: Throw a Great Party: Inspired by evenings in Paris with Jim Haynes.

This is how he ends his essay:

"Tolerance can lead to respect and, finally, to love. No one can ever really understand anyone else, but you can love them or at least accept them. Like Tom Paine, I am a world citizen. All human history is mine. My roots cover the earth. I believe we should know each other. After all, our lives are all connected. OK, now come and dine!"

Since I am basically a shy person, such consistently large dinners sound daunting to me. I wish I could be that open about talking to total strangers, though perhaps there is freedom in being with new people who want to get to know each other.

Thoughts are NOT God

Sherry always finds interesting links and posts them on her blog A Feather Adrift. Today she posted a link to an interesting article on The Huffington Post by Dean Sluyter, a Buddhist meditation teacher and prison chaplain entitled "Spirituality ≠ Belief."

"Many Christians conceive of spiritual truth as something that is directly experienced only when you die and are (hopefully) lifted into heaven. But Christ himself said the kingdom of heaven is within you. Not elsewhere, in the sky. Not later, when you die. And not just maybe, if you've behaved and/or believed: it is within you. This inner, ever-present heaven is actually more consistent with the inner space of nirvana or moksha -- liberation -- that Buddhists and Vedantists describe than it is with what a lot of people take away from Sunday school.

"The problem is not confined to Christians. A friend who has traveled throughout India and practiced Eastern spirituality for years recently told me, "After all my experiences with saints and holy men of all kinds, I no longer try to believe in God. It's too much work." Well, yes. Trying to believe in anything is too much work. Belief is constructed out of thoughts. Your thoughts about God are not God; your thoughts about enlightenment are not enlightenment; your thoughts about the infinite are not infinite. They're just thoughts."

Go here to read the rest of the article. It's worth taking the time to read, and it's not long.

Also at this website is something I'd never seen before--Top Posts/Blogger Index. It might be interesting to check out every so often.

Easter 1955

Thinking of the little boys and little girls all dressed up at church this morning, I am remembering how I always had a new dress for Easter, plus an Easter hat. Even though I always had the Easter ensemble, we rarely went to church on Easter or any other Sunday. White gloves were an essential element.

Here I am at the age of 4 1/2, wearing a dress my grandmother made for me, which I remember because my favorite doll Sue was given the same dress by my grandmother. They were both pink.

This was at the front door of the little house that was behind my grandparents' larger house in Lynden, WA. My father, who was a Marine, was stationed in Japan, so my mother and I were living in a house that her father had built before he'd built the larger one.

Happy Easter!

and

Women at the Tomb

Women Arriving at the Tomb

by He Qui

Holy Saturday: Alone in Nothingness

Holy Saturday
by Roxolana Luczakowsky Armstrong

Friday Five: Adoremus Te

The Betrayal
1350-1400
by Niccola di Giacoma da Bologna

Sophia writes this week's Friday Five for RevGalBlogPals:

Adoramus te, Christe,
et benedicimus tibi,
quia per sanctam crucem tuam
redemisti mundum.
Qui passus es pro nobis,
Domine, miserere nobis.

We adore you, O Christ,
and we bless you,
because by your holy cross
you have redeemed the world.
O Lord, who suffered for us,
have mercy on us.

1. How will you pray and worship today?
I was blessed to start the morning off with the weekly Renovare Group that meets at my house. Instead of berating myself about my failure to pray twice a day or whether or not I should go to the Good Friday Service tonight when my family does not want to, I came to the realization that God is calling me to "look to Jesus" and be aware of the holiness of this day.

I am rushing around getting ready for my two sons and one daughter-in-law to arrive today, to my great happiness. Youngest daughter MJ is already here. I will get meals and everything else ready, but I will also take the time to sit with God.

The biggest realization is that I can go to the 6 pm Good Friday service at church alone, and I can ask everyone else to get dinner ready while I'm gone. I'll have the ingredients here, but they can do the rest. We'll help each other, and it's getting me to let go of control.

2. Share a powerful memory or memories of Good Friday past.
The most powerful memory I have of a Good Friday is the one that occurred about four years ago when I was trying to discern about leaving the Methodist Church for the Episcopal one. At the noon service at the first church, a former pastor there laughingly said that Jesus knew the outcome, and so the Passion was not that hard for him. I remember several old ladies really liked that message. I was disturbed.

When I came to the Good Friday service at All Saints Episcopal Church, the solemnity and holiness of the day overwhelmed me. I was grateful and decided then to re-join the Episcopal Church. That is why I want to go to the Good Friday liturgy tonight.

3. How have you grown and experienced God's love during this past Lent?
These weeks of Lent of spending more intentional times in silence and continuing to go to the Lectio Divina group each week have brought me to a clearer image of how I resist following the path of discipleship--and I am still loved. This past Wednesday, we meditated upon Hebrews 12:1-2, and I realized that my invitation is to keep "looking to Jesus." As Sandy, our new rector, keeps telling us: "Jesus is our model."

4. In whom do you see the face of the suffering Christ most clearly?
I am hoping I will see past his "distressing disguise" as Mother Teresa used to say. I experienced that last night in our Maunday Thursday Service, which lasted for two hours, through the long silence of individuals washing another's feet, followed by Eucharist and the stripping of the altar.

5. Where do you find hope for resurrection?
In the renewal of love felt within me. Also, in the new legal proceedings that allow for legal marriages for gay couples in Vermont and Iowa.

Bonus: Share a song, poem, or prayer that makes the paschal mystery come alive for you.

(Maybe later. . . .)

The world says. . . Jesus says

"If the world is sane, then Jesus is mad as a hatter and the Last Supper is the Mad Tea Party. The world says, Mind your own business, and Jesus says, There is no such thing as your own business. The world says, Follow the wisest course and be a success, and Jesus says, Follow me and be crucified. The world says, Drive carefully---the life you save may be your own---and Jesus says, Whoever would save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

"The world says, Law and order, and Jesus says, Love. The world says, Get, and Jesus says, Give. In terms of the world's sanity, Jesus is crazy as a coot, and anybody who thinks we can follow him without being a little crazy too is laboring less under a cross than under a delusion."

Frederick Buechner, Listening to Your Life

From Inward/Outward. Subscribe here.

Do It Anyway

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have and it may just never be enough;
Give the world the best you have anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it's all between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

From Do It Anyway: The Handbook for Finding Personal Meaning and Deep Happiness in a Crazy World by Kent Keith.

According to the author, Mother Teresa was so moved by these commandments that she hung them on a wall in her orphanage in Calcutta.

in time of daffodils

My daughter AE took this picture in Seattle and emailed it to me today. She knows how I love daffodils and am sad that I do not see them here in south TX.

This, of course, reminded me of a poem:

in time of daffodils(who know
the goal of living is to grow)
forgetting why,remember how

in time of lilacs who proclaim
the aim of waking is to dream,
remember so(forgetting seem)

in time of roses(who amaze
our now and here with paradise)
forgetting if,remember yes

in time of all sweet things beyond
whatever mind may comprehend,
remember seek(forgetting find)

and in a mystery to be
(when time from time shall set us free)
forgetting me,remember me

~~e.e.cummings

The Way It Is

I feel like I have posted this poem before, but I cannot find it. It was shared in our EFM class this afternoon, and I keep thinking about the thread we each hold on to. It reminds me of what a counselor once told me: "Hold onto the TRUTH" (when I wanted to find comfort in denial).

There's a thread you follow. It goes among
things that change. But it doesn't change.
People wonder about what you are pursuing.
You have to explain about the thread.
But it is hard for others to see.
While you hold it you can't get lost.
Tragedies happen; people get hurt
or die; and you suffer and get old.
Nothing you can do can stop time's unfolding.
You don't ever let go of the thread.

~~William Stafford

Gratefulness

Talking to a friend today, I remember the ABC's of gratitude as espoused by an Al Anon group I used to belong to. I guess I think of the word "gratefulness" from my love for David Steindl-Rast's book Gratefulness: The Heart of Prayer.

I remember using the ABC's of gratitude when I used to get depressed. So before we get too far into Holy Week, I decided to try that here. Try it yourself, either on your blog or privately.

A--apples
B--books
C--children
D--dogs
E--ears
F--family
G--God
H--holidays
I--ice
J--justice
K--kisses
L--Licorice (our deceased Lab)
M--marzipan
N--notes
O--oatmeal (with peanut butter and raisins!)
P--pansies
Q--quiet
R--rain
S--sleep
T--tea
U--us
V--visits
W--Washington (state)
X--xxx's (any ideas?)
Z--Zambia

It used to be easy if I used my children, family, and friend's names, but for privacy, I did not want to do that.

And the list could be just for those people mentioned above, for animals, for food, for countries or cities--lots of things!

Palm Sunday

Breaking of a Palm Leaf for the Entry into Jerusalem
1304-1306 in Scrovegni Chapel in Padua, Italy
By Giotto (1267-1337)

Would you or I lay a palm or a cloak down for Jesus and the crowds to walk on into Jerusalem?

During Lent, I've been surprised by the reflections I received in our weekly Lectio Divina group, which always meditates upon scripture from the next Sunday's lectionary. As I visualized "following" Jesus, I keep getting the thoughts like: "Who are you really? What do I know about you? Maybe I'll go back home."

This past Wednesday, we prayed with Mark 11:7-9:

11:7 Then they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their cloaks on it; and he sat on it.

11:8 Many people spread their cloaks on the road, and others spread leafy branches that they had cut in the fields.

11:9 Then those who went ahead and those who followed were shouting, "Hosanna! Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord!

With this meditation, I found myself doubting myself seriously--Could I follow all the way to the cross? This caused me to realize that in all these other Lectio sessions, I thought I was questioning who Jesus was, but in reality, I was wondering if I was courageous enough to go with him, since the ending of his story are ingrained within me.

But in each reading, that is not part of the story yet! I believe that Jesus was not obsessing on the inevitable fate of prophets, but was living in union with the Father in each moment as it came.

The enouraging message I was given in prayer is that the moment is possible--each moment is here with the possibility of life and love given. When I look to the past or the future in fear or even anticipation, I am losing this present gift and am not even "living" right now.

This is not a new lesson or a profound truth that will be new to anyone else--it's a renewal of my awareness. It is too easy to be in the fear the future, even though I know the eventual outcome of resurrection. I fear the agony of the intervening crucifixion! It takes one step at a time; one step is always possible, no matter how tiny.

So my invitation is to travel with Jesus one step at a time.

Diane offers a deeper reflection in her sermon for today: "Which Procession are you in?"

That's another good question to ask!

Friday and Saturday in TX

Before I started driving to Sandia to visit my friend LP today, she sent me this email:

"Don't be alarmed when you come out today. Our house almost burned down yesterday but now all is well. There is still smoke and a lot of mud from all the water we sprayed around. Anyway, it is an interesting view and we can go to the river to escape it all. They say about 2000 acres around here burned and we have burned fences and cows all in the wrong fields."


I did not know what to expect, but this is what I imagine happened near my friend's house in Sandia, TX yesterday when acres of ranch land was burning. When I was with LP today, she described how helicopters dumped water and even mud on the fires that were approaching her house. Her house was spared, but others further away were burned. However, LP was driving from a cousin's house and was engulfed in smoke on a little farming road where she could not see. She found herself skidding along a barbed wire fence and then driving through pockets of flames! It is amazing she is fine, though her car is very scraped up. She said she was worried her car might explode, but it didn't. Whew!

Tomorrow LP and I are driving (in my car) to San Antonio for another class on the mystics--this one is on John of the Cross. We have to leave at 6 am to get there for the 9 o'clock class. This is Year 2 of Christian Mysticism: History, Wisdom and Insights. It is sponsored by both Oblate School of Theology (where I may someday earn my master's degree in Theology) and Contemplative Outreach of San Antonio.

My Grand-dog Sampson

From our visit to Austin last weekend with son DC and his wife AA, here are pictures of their sweet dog Sampson:

Sampson with MJ

When we were leaving, Sampson tried to climb into our car.

Sampson will visit us for Easter as will our energetic grand-dog Troy from Houston with their dads and Sampson's mom. Sadly, our cocker grand-dog Morgan will stay in Seattle with her two moms. Pictures of the three grand-dogs are here.

Start a blog!

Cartoon by David Horsey (thanks to my daughter's info)

Thanks to Ellie at Child of Illusion for this cartoon.

Dancing the Boogie

And for another happy song with dancing in a train station, go here, sponsored by Choralgirl!

Happy April 1st!

Salvation

By what are you saved? And how?
Saved like a bit of string,
tucked away in a drawer?
Saved like a child rushed from
a burning building, already
singed and coughing smoke?
Or are you salvaged
like a car part -- the one good door
when the rest is wrecked?

Do you believe me when I say
you are neither salvaged nor saved,
but salved, anointed by gentle hands
where you are most tender?
Haven't you seen
the way snow curls down
like a fresh sheet, how it
covers everything,
makes everything
beautiful, without exception?

by Lynn Ungar

Spread the Word to End the Word

Dave at The Quaker Agitator brought this movement, especially for today, to my attention. I remember that being a nasty label when I was young and have not been so aware of it as I aged. But I definitely believe RETARD is word that is hurtful and harmful.

Stand up and tell anyone who says it that you don't like such talk!

Go to Special Olympics to learn more.

Saturday in Austin

When we got to son DC and daughter-in-law AA's house in Austin, we soon went off to the Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center. We've gone to several weddings there, but never toured the park in the daytime. This was a wonderful day to be outside, looking at all the plants!
Of course, cactus is native to Texas! Besides the cacti, we saw the first bluebonnets of the season. Due to the lack of rain, there were none all the way from Corpus Christi north to Austin. Finally, in Austin we saw some, as you can see below:

Son DC and wife AA

MJ

And there was an exhibit of Paper Sculpture Art by Shou Ping. Beautiful!

And here are CB and me, still at the Wildflower Center.

After this we drove to northwest Austin to see the construction project DC is working at. It was nice to see bluebonnets blooming along the roads up there. He is an assistant construction supervisor at a large apartment complex being built there. To give you an idea what they look like, here is a picture of one he previously worked at:

After all this driving around, we went to the Oasis Restaurant on Lake Travis, which is built on a cliff overlooking Lake Travis. A fire destroyed much of this landmark restaurant in 2005 when lightning struck one of the decks and started the blaze. It was rebuilt so that it has more than 40 decks and can accommodate 2,ooo people at the same time. The view was gorgeous and is especially sought after for sunsets. (The food was only okay.)

DC and AA planned a full day for us, and we enjoyed being with them and seeing so much of Austin.

Trinity University on Saturday

Here are MJ and her dad CB after the awards ceremony at Trinity University. The group of top 15 freshmen and sophomores came up and were given all together their awards, while those getting scholarships and such honors were called up individually. It was interesting to hear about all the other students, and, of course, we were proud of MJ when she was up there with the other students.

After that, we drove to Austin, stopping beforehand at the Outlet Malls at San Marcos. MJ's big brother DC was working until noon, so we were "stalling" for time. MJ found a cute swimsuit that was 80% off the original price--what a good deal!

This weekend

We are getting up early in the morning so that we can get to San Antonio in time for an awards service at Trinity University. Our youngest daughter MJ is receiving one for being one of the top fifteen freshmen for fall semester, her very first term of college!

Then she is going with her dad and me to Austin to visit her oldest brother DC and his wife AA.

Prayer according to Nouwen

"Prayer leads you to see new paths and to hear new melodies in the air. Prayer is the breath of your life which gives you freedom to go and stay where you wish and to find the many signs which point out the way to a new land. Praying is not simply some necessary compartment in the daily schedule of a Christian or a source of support in time of need, nor is it restricted to Sunday morning, or as a frame to surround mealtimes. Praying is living."

Henri Nouwen, With Open Hands, p. 157

Thanks to Roberta for this beautiful quote.

Friday Five: Blogroll Spotlight

Mary Beth writes for RevGalBlogPals:

On my blog sidebar is a list titled, "Blogs I Read Every Day." After my mother became a blogger, she asked me how I could possibly read that many blogs daily!? I had to confess it then: Okay, I don't read them all every day! I have over 100 on there! But I have favorites, and you do too.
Some of you probably use feed readers to let you know when your favorite bloggers have posted...not me, not yet. I just have folks who are part of my day-to-day.

So for today's Friday Five, give us five blogs you visit regularly, and tell us briefly WHY you like them. These can be RevGal and Pal bloggers and others ... or news sites, knitting sites, etc. Who are you showing the love to on a pretty constant basis?

Hopefully we will all get to know some new bloggy friends this way!

First off, I have a shortcut by having some of my favorite bloggers on my "reading list," which shows up with brief recaps on their newest posts when I go to my dashboard. (I follow them.) So that means I don't look every day, because some don't post each day.

There are too many I like to visit, but these are my most regular stops:

1. Fran at FranIAm: Fran is one of the most prolific bloggers I know who incorporates humor, faith, current events, politics, and outrage into her various posts. It's usually a surprise to see what she has most recently posted.

2. Ellie at any of her three blogs: Child of Illusion, Does Not Wisdom Call?, and Meditation Matters: Each blog highlights thoughts to ponder, though the first tends to be more political. I always find a quote, poem, or image (and great political cartoons!) that stop me and get me to think.

3. Diane Walker at Contemplative Photographer: Diane is just what her blog title says--one who meditates upon her photography, combined with what is going in her life, in the world, and thoughts about God. She also writes poetry.

4. Katherine at Meaning and Authenticity: Katherine is the friend who got me started blogging almost two years ago. Before blogging, I knew her to be seeking her blog title, and she continues to share her thoughts in profound ways--about faith, politics, and life. I always look forward to her next post.

5. Dave at The Quaker Agitator: Dave is one who often posts more than once a day, and I am always eager to see his next one. I admire his desire to live out his Quaker faith in teaching and all areas of his life. He has regular features such as "peace bloggers," "focus on Darfur," and articles on politics that I would not see down here in south TX if it were not for him.

Lending Libraries

With thanks to Center for American Progress for this cartoon by Bob and Tom Thaves.

And thanks to all who helped me decide on the next book for the Wisdom Class: The Powers That Be: Theology for a New Millennium by Walter Wink. That's the one that kept coming into my mind over the past year. The others are good books, so maybe sometime in the future. . . .

And about libraries, I am thinking that I will donate some new, barely read to our local library, which needs all the help it can get.

Which book, which one??

It would be most helpful if I could choose the next book for the weekly book study I facilitate, The Wisdom Class, tomorrow. We won't start it until after Easter, but news of it could go into the April church newsletter IF I decide by tomorrow! I always work better with deadlines, so now I definitely have one.

The current book we've been reading, which was chosen under some duress, is The Shack. The book before this was The Awakened Heart by Gerald May.

I am considering these three books, and I would appreciate any encouragement or discouragement about any of these:

1. The Powers That Be: Theology for a New Millennium by Walter Wink

2. Welcome to the Wisdom of the World and its meaning for you:Universal Spiritual Insights Distilled from Five Religious Traditions by Joan Chittister

3. The Wisdom Jesus: Transforming Heart and Mind--A New Perspective on Christ and His Message by Cynthia Bourgeault
To refresh my memory, I plan to read the first chapter of each book tonight to help me make the decision.

What do you think?

Do you know your states?

This is a geography quiz, which I did not do too well on. My husband scored 89% correct. Do you know where the states go in a USA map?

Know your States

Favorite childhood books?

When I was an older elementary school student, I loved reading and re-reading Homer Price by Robert McCloskey, who also wrote and illustrated such classics as Make Way for Ducklings, Blueberries for Sal, and One Morning in Maine. My children and I loved reading those last three picture books, but they never liked Homer Price. I guess it's outdated, but I still vividly recall the malfunctioning doughnut machine:
What were your favorite books when you were young?

My favorite book of all that I read and re-read innumerable times was Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. I was determined to read it in third grade, because a fourth grader in our 3-4 grades combination class told me I wasn't "old enough" to read it! I fell in love with the characters, especially Beth, whom my oldest daughter detested. In fact, AE could never understand why I had liked the book so much. It is dated, too, especially about roles of women, though Louisa May Alcott was ahead of her time in portraying Jo.

When I was reading these books around 1960, there was not the plethora of young people's books being published. (We baby boomers hadn't had all of our children yet!) We did not own too many books and used the public library much more frequently than nowadays.

Did you like any series of books?

I liked the Hardy Boys better than Nancy Drew books, which many of my friends liked. (Daughter MJ enjoyed Nancy Drew much more than I ever did. AE liked the Anne of Green Gables books.) I also liked Cherry Ames nursing stories. I remember being confused when these types of books were not allowed on library shelves!

My cousin Margaret from Canada sent me books as presents and usually they were by Enid Blyton. I especially liked the Famous Five series. My (American) friends never knew about these books, except from me, because they were British books.

So, if you have the time, why don't you blog (or comment here) about the books you liked in your youth?

Think outside the box

Non-Duality Cartoons

"The Daily Me"

Paper newspapers are disappearing, but what has hit me deeper than I would have expected is the demise of The Seattle Post-Intelligencer. I had thought that Seattle no longer has a daily newspaper, but if you read the comments on this post, you will see that there is still one printing. At least the P-I is going to "publish" online. The P-I is the largest daily newspaper in the United States to make the leap entirely online.

I like reading our daily newspaper, even though it is getting thinner and thinner. There's not much there, except for two pages of comics!

In that same newspaper I found an editorial from March 19 (though published here two days later) by Nicholas Kristof, which addresses this phenomenon of printed newspapers disappearing and more dependence upon internet news growing. He writes:

"When we go online, each of us is our own editor, our own gatekeeper. We select the kind of news and opinions that we care most about.

"Nicholas Negroponte of M.I.T. has called this emerging news product The Daily Me. And if that’s the trend, God save us from ourselves.

"That’s because there’s pretty good evidence that we generally don’t truly want good information — but rather information that confirms our prejudices. We may believe intellectually in the clash of opinions, but in practice we like to embed ourselves in the reassuring womb of an echo chamber."

He admits to reading certain blogs and not others for good info. I know I read certain blogs and not others because they appeal to me, so am I also into "The Daily Me"?

Go here to read the rest of his editorial.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And here is the comment my daughter AE wrote. She lives in Seattle and obviously knows more about the newspapers there than I do:

"Seattle had two daily papers. The Seattle Times is still printing, so now we have one. Which is great, considering the Times was the conservative paper that endorsed Dino "I'm-so-slick-you'll-never-see-my-corrupt-tactics-because-I'll-blame-someone-else" Rossi and a number of other conservative papers. Michelle "I'm-an-insane-bitch" Malkin used to write for the Times, which is testament enough to its lack of quality.

"Need any other convincing? When those "foreign, terrorist-looking guys" were riding ferries in the Puget Sound couple years ago and the FBI decided to live up to the Bush administration's stance of "guilty until proven innocent," asking the Times and the Post-Intelligencer to publish their photos in their newspapers and on their websites and ask if anyone had seen them, the Times obediently did so, and the Post-Intelligencer refused.

"The only good paper left in this town is The Stranger, and it's free."

Friday Five: Signs of Hope

Songbird writes for RevGalBlogPals:

In the late, late winter, as the snow begins to recede here in Maine, we begin to look almost desperately for signs of spring, signs of hope that the weather has turned and a new day is on the horizon. For those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, Easter and Spring twine inextricably, the crocuses and daffodils peeking through the Earth as we await the risen Christ.

Share with us five signs of hope that you can see today or have experienced in the past.

1. New bright green leaves on mesquite trees (here in south TX)
2. Beautiful spring weather here in Corpus Christi, TX where it feels like a Bellingham, WA summer day--78 degrees F. (Unfortunately, spring here is almost over.)
3. My husband CB asked me to go for a walk last night. As indicated above, the weather is lovely. We need to start exercising more, so this could mark a new beginning.

4. I am sitting in meditation/prayer twice a day. I find this very hopeful, especially as I look forward to these times, which is a new feeling for me.

5. Our new priest, Sandy Casey-Martus, is wonderful! She is challenging us to live in the awareness of God with Jesus as our model. She is the teacher and priest I need.

Green Patch of Facebook

My youngest daughter MJ laughs when she sees how many "older" people like her mother are on Facebook now. She could not believe that our former priest signed up. I have heard that older people have Facebook pages to stay in touch with grandchildren and see pictures of them. I am finding that I am in touch with many bloggers there, some of whom write on Facebook much more frequently than their blogs.

What has become a sort of addiction for me is this Li'l Green Patch accessed through Facebook. Friends send each other plants. When ten friends are sent plants, the giver logs up 1 square foot of Rain Forest land. When visiting friends' garden patches, one can help tend their gardens by such activities as weeding, watering, getting rid of rabbits, or feeding the squirrels. Somehow I have come to enjoy this mindless activity every day, which I rationalize is better than playing solitaire on the computer because at least small portions of the Rain Forest are saved. In fact, as of today, I am tallied with 265 square feet of Rain Forest saved.

"The founders of Li'l Green Patch write:
The (Lil) Green Patch community, working together, was able to save 96,124,167 Sq ft of Rainforest so far! We are very excited about our progress and are confident we can make an even larger impact in the future!

"See the donation here."

I never know what to say on Facebook. I do enjoy seeing the little pictures of blogger friends. I changed my picture to a cute old lady, since my hair is starting to turn white (or is it gray?).

That could be my icon for my blog, except the crossroads is a steady reminder that I can't just sit around and read, but must be making choices and moving in a direction!

By the way, my first Facebook picture icon was this one of me taken in Banff last October:

Everything Is Waiting for You

Your great mistake is to act the drama
as if you were alone. As if life
were a progressive and cunning crime
with no witness to the tiny hidden
transgressions. To feel abandoned is to deny
the intimacy of your surroundings. Surely,
even you, at times, have felt the grand array;
the swelling presence, and the chorus, crowding
out your solo voice You must note
the way the soap dish enables you,
or the window latch grants you freedom.
Alertness is the hidden discipline of familiarity.
The stairs are your mentor of things
to come, the doors have always been there
to frighten you and invite you,
and the tiny speaker in the phone
is your dream-ladder to divinity.

Put down the weight of your aloneness and ease into
the conversation. The kettle is singing
even as it pours you a drink, the cooking pots
have left their arrogant aloofness and
seen the good in you at last. All the birds
and creatures of the world are unutterably
themselves. Everything is waiting for you.

-- David Whyte
from Everything is Waiting for You
©2003 Many Rivers Press

Sleep?

Can't go to sleep; don't want to read; don't want to pray. So I am here at the computer. (There's nothing to drink either.)

Self-Discipline

Since I have always been someone who procrastinates, I think that I am a 9 on the Enneagram. With outside deadlines, I always get things done. (However, without them, I'm not so "efficient.") Even in graduate school in the past decade, I could write A papers a few days beforehand. It's a bad way to be, because I don't work to my full potential.

I recently rediscovered this book in my book-laden home: Making a Change for Good: A Guide to Compassionate Self-Discipline by Cheri Huber, who is a Zen teacher and author.
As a sidelight, I thought it was printed in the Papyrus font, which evidently is being used in all sorts of ways, according to my daughter in Seattle. This same daughter informed me that this book does not have the papyrus font; but now I don't know what type of font it is. Obviously, I am confused about the papyrus font, too.

I have a poor attitude about "self-discipline," because I broadly say, "I don't have any." Rationally, I realize I have to have some to survive, but I judge myself as inadequate in finishing some things, like my papers for graduate school, cleaning out years of junk in closets, dieting, etc., etc. So I am now working on a new attitude, which corresponds to my crossroads logo. This book is helping me, especially because it has a 30 day guided "retreat" with journaling at the back of the book.

I need to remember:

"Nothing in life is a matter of 'fault'; no amount of self-discipline will ever give anyone control over life (control is an illusion); happiness does not depend on circumstances; and life is always exactly as it is!" (2)

"...compassionate self-discipline is nothing other than being present rather than engaged in distracted, unfocused, addictive behaviors based in an I-need-to-fix-myself mentality." (4)

"WE DON'T LACK SELF-DISCIPLINE, WE LACK PRESENCE." (4)

The author's advice is to meditate, which goes along with my Lenten practice of sitting with God each day.

Praying today

Give me the strength that waits upon You in silence and peace. Give me humility in which alone is rest, and deliver me from pride which is the heaviest of burdens. And possess my whole heart and soul with the simplicity of love. Occupy my whole life with the one thought and the one desire of love, that I may love not for the sake of merit, not for the sake of perfection, not for the sake of virtue, not for the sake of sanctity, but for You alone. Amen.

~Thomas Merton

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