Happy Valentine's Day!

To ponder

I have lived on the lip of insanity,

wanting to know reasons,

knocking on a door.

It opens.

I've been knocking from the inside.

~~Rumi

San Francisco balloon statues?

I barely remembered in time that I took these two pictures on our trip to San Francisco last June. Although they looked like balloons, they were made of plaster.


And here is picture of son DC and his wife AA in San Francisco:

They are not visiting this weekend, but will come in two more weeks. It's nice to know that DC looks at my blog; he emailed me this picture after seeing the original post.

Friday Five: FAB FEB(ruary)

With Valentine's Day around the corner, it seems appropriate to write about February holidays. However, I'd never heard of "Waitangi Day" before: Feb. 6 is a holiday in New Zealand to commemorate the signing of the Treaty of Waitangi, the founding of New Zealand, in 1840. I'll avoid Fur Rondy, as it is connected with Sarah Palin's home state.

1. When February comes along, how do you feel about the coming month?
It feels like the end of Winter in south Texas. The seasons in Texas are basically: winter, summer, summer, and summer.

2. What memories do you have about Valentine's Day? Are you doing anything to observe it this year?
I remember that my grandmother (father's mother) would always send me very ornate, glittery, and beautiful Valentine cards. Perhaps she's the reason I like to send Valentines. I also remember the overly decorated boxes the teachers made for their classes in first and second grade. It was so exciting to put cards in the slots.

Not much is going on here, except church. I've already sent out some cards, though with the extreme weather systems in the USA, who knows when they will arrive (especially as Monday is a holiday).

3. It is interesting that Monday's "Presidents Day" is not officially called that in every state. It is a U.S. federal holiday entitled "Washington's Birthday." Which is your favorite president and why?
I always knew and remembered that February 12 was Abraham Lincoln's birthday, because I read everything I could find about him when I was in elementary school.

As a side note:
When husband CB was starting graduate school at Oregon State University in Corvallis, OR, I went with my mother to interview for teaching jobs. She sat outside one large building in Newport, OR and told me later that she knew I would be hired because it was LINCOLN County School District. (I was hired and taught in that school district for four years until CB earned his PhD in organic chemistry.)

4. Will you be celebrating Shrove Tuesday or Mardi Gras? How?
We'll probably go to the pancake supper sponsored by our church's youth group, which is trying to raise money for their J2A pilgrimage to Iona this summer.

5. Any other ways to celebrate in February?
Several friends have birthdays this month, as does my husband's youngest sister, who lives in Bellingham, WA.

We're also excited that DC and AA are coming to visit from Austin with their bulldog Sampson this weekend (IF we get better from our colds!).

Bonus: A Lenten book or website you recommend.
ExploreFaith.org's Lenten "Sorting it Out" Toolbox calendar, to click on each day of Lent:

Maisie's favorite chew toy

Maisie's favorite chew toy is Baillie's food dish. If you look carefully, you can see how she has chewed all around the bottom rim.

Speechless, but writing

• Well, I can croak a little, but not much. It is especially difficult to talk on a cell phone; I guess that's because I always think I should be speaking loudly and can't do that right now.

• There is snow in Dallas, which is way north of Corpus Christi. We had two inches of rain today, which set a record for February 11. Maybe the drought is decreasing.

• I like writing these bullets. They make me feel like I have more to write than I really do!

• Father M, whom I wrote about here, kindly emailed me and reassured me about my quandary concerning "innovative" and "ground-breaking" research for my master's paper:

"By "innovative and creative" does not mean that you come up with a new idea. Actually, since the time of St. Augustine, there has been no "new" idea in the western thought! I had a professor in Rome who used to say: Book comes out of Books! So, innovative and creative means that you develop an idea that someone has suggested but not developed! And you try to develop that idea with some research."

• Wonderful Father M has encouraged me. So once I recover from this cold, I will try to find some undeveloped topic, though I love to read too many "developed" ones.

• Tomorrow DC and AA will decide if they are coming to visit us this weekend. This all depends upon CB's and my health. He has improved greatly, and I don't feel that badly, except for not being able to talk.
  

A Prayer

Lightbearer

Jesus, I call upon the power in Your name
to see the way my path must surely lead,
to heal the sick, to tend and feed your flock.
Christ, you are the Lord who calls us to make peace,
to strive for justice daily in your world,
to use your gifts of wisdom, patience, hope,
to be the servant-bearer of the Light.
Spirit, we worship you in truth and holiness.
We seek new ways to make the message clear,
to praise, confess, forgive and show your love
in breaking bread and sharing of our cup.

~~Chuck Shamel

This was written by Chuck Shamel, a member of All Saints Episcopal Church in Corpus Christi, TX.

We have head colds

From FuzzyCo

Well, not really "head" colds, because this one settles in the throat and chest. CB finally went to the doctor yesterday and got antibiotics for bronchitis. After ten days, he is looking a little better today. He has to be very sick to even go to the doctor.

My lingering "pre-cold" feeling is now in my throat, so that I am speaking with a croaky whisper. Thus, I did not go to our weekly lectio divina group today. Luckily, last year the minister convinced me to send the weekly scripture to the church for printing, instead of me doing it myself. So today they could carry on without me!

DC and AA are coming to visit us this weekend from Austin along with their friendly bulldog Sampson. Hopefully, we'll be better for their arrival. Maisie will really enjoy having Sampson here for playing.

The First Verb

The Holy Spirit animates
all, moves
all, roots
all, forgives
all, cleanses
all, erases
all
our past mistakes, and then
puts medicine on our wounds.
We praise the Spirit of incandescence
for awakening
and reawakening
all
creation.

~~Hildegard of Bingen

Butcher, Carmen Acevedo. Hildegard of Bingen. Brewster, Massachusetts: Paraclete Press, 2007. 36.

I just learned of Carmen Acevedo Butcher through my daughter AE a few days ago. The two of them co-edited one of the Fulbright Reviews in Korea about five years ago. She is an author and a professor. Of course, I had to buy some of her books when I learned about her. One of them is a new Lenten devotional: Following Christ: A Lenten Reader to Stretch Your Soul.

What about those gay troops?

By Mike Lukovich
From Center for American Progress

Push Out Into Deep Water
Based on Luke 5:1-11
by Karen L. Oberst

Fishing all night, they caught nothing
Morning frustration repairing nets
Getting ready to go home. Wait -
Where's the crowd coming from?

Then they saw him - Jesus.
The one they'd heard so much about.
"Put out a little from shore," he requested
And they rowed his bobbing pulpit there.

The fisherman sat spellbound as he spoke
Nets and sleep and fishlessness forgotten
They listened hungrily as he fed their souls.
Listened as he spoke words of life.

He sent off his audience on the shore
And the fishermen woke, as from a dream.
He turned to them and smiled
Acknowledging their help - and their need.

"Push out into deep water," he said
"And let your nets out for a catch
Half-heartedly protesting, they did as he asked
And multitudes of fish swam to them.

How often has he said to me
"Push out into deep water,"
When I would be content
To stay in the shallows listening?

I sit peaceful in my small life
Ticking off my to-do list
When his voice comes to me
"Push out into deep water."

"It's time to leave the ordinary,
Time to put learning into practice.
I'll care for you," he says.
"Push out into deep water."

Lord, point me to the deep
Show me where to row my life
I want to follow you as I
Push out into deep water.

But deep water wasn't the destination
Only the place where you showed them
Who you are - what you can do
Then you called on them to follow.

Those who push out into deep water
Learn things unknown to those on shore
Discover faith that can move mountains - or fish
And how to follow where you lead.

Lead me, Lord
Deep or shallow, High or low
Pastures or valleys, Sheep or eagle
Just point me the way - and bid me follow.

(From Karen Oberst's website)

Gratitude and Maisie!

After pouring out my heart and my worries, I am still feeling stuck but not alone, because of so many friends who are praying for me and supporting me. Thank you; I feel encouraged. In my next email to my advisor, I am going to admit my quandary.

Last summer I signed up for the third year of once-a-month mystics classes in San Antonio. Due to other commitments and bad weather, I have only gone to two in this series. I was determined to go yesterday, because one of my favorite people, Father Kelly Nemeck of Lebh Shomea, was scheduled to speak on Teilhard de Chardin.

I woke up at 5 am and started driving an hour later. It takes about 2 1/2 hours to drive to San Antonio from Corpus Christi. When I got to Floresville, which is about 30 miles south of SA, I felt very sleepy and stopped at a quickie market. I parked, put the seat down, and slept for about 15 minutes. Then when I was ready to go, the car would not start! The battery was dead.

I went inside the little store, and two grizzled men came out to help me. One had a gray handlebar moustache. They jumped the battery, while telling me that the terminals were badly corroded. Yuck.

While driving, I called my son DC to ask him to look up on his computer auto places near my destination where I could get a new car battery. After awhile, he called me back to ask if I would like him and his wife to meet me after the class and take care of the battery for me! This was so nice, because they had to drive from Austin to meet me.

DC and AA met me in the church parking lot after Father Kelly's excellent talk. We went to Auto Zone, where David removed my battery for me, carried it into the store, and then installed the new one I bought. I was so happy to be rescued by my children! Then we had a huge lunch at a Mexican restaurant. (I was so full after that chicken fajita taco salad that I never ate any dinner last night!)

It was a long 13 hour day by the time I returned home, but it was such a happy day with DC and AA coming to my aid. What a gift!

And now for a few pictures of Maisie taken today:

Maisie and Baillie playing tug of war

Maisie using the treadmill more than CB or I ever do

I'm floundering in deep water

Well, that's what I feel like at times, though it is a sunny and beautiful day here in south TX. I am always surprised at the way God startles me in our weekly Lectio Divina group. This does not happen every week, but I was overturned with the memory and invitation I received two days ago. The scripture was Luke 5:3-6 (the entire lectionary reading is Luke 5:1-11):

5:3 He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little way from the shore. Then he sat down and taught the crowds from the boat.
5:4 When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, "Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch."
5:5 Simon answered, "Master, we have worked all night long but have caught nothing. Yet if you say so, I will let down the nets."
5:6 When they had done this, they caught so many fish that their nets were beginning to break.

In the silences I kept pondering "out into the deep water." Suddenly I was surprised by a forgotten memory. I grew up on different military bases, which always offered swimming lessons for base children in the summertime at the pools on base. When I was about 11 years old, in between 6th and 7th grades in Yokosuka, Japan, I was in a small group of kids that was being taught to dive. I was terrified, not realizing until much later that I had been warned against diving ever since I fractured my skull in first grade. The instructor kept demanding that I try again and again until I did it. The authority of this young man and probably the peer pressure of the other kids prompted me to keep going. I recall fear, anguish (and crying) and eventually triumph. And I see how I needed someone to call me to account.Well, the floundering is connected with my pull to deep water, which is something I have been avoiding for years. As mentioned in intermittent posts (especially this one from June 27, 2009), I have never written the final scholarly papers to receive my Master's degree in Theology from the Oblate School of Theology in San Antonio. In fact, I think the last class I took there was the month-long trip to Zambia in 2006.

A new friend at church CS, a former high school English teacher, offered to help me get going on this project a month ago. She suggested that I contact the school and find out what needs to be done to get going again. I never did anything until the Lectio group a few days ago. I certainly tend to let things slide when left on my own. . . .

I emailed a friend at OST, who then referred me to the registrar, who then sent me to consult with the advisor for lay persons in the MaTH program. The latter finally told me that he was the one who could decide on an "extension" for me. He sent me the newest guidelines, which showed that now I only have to write ONE paper and not three.

BUT he reiterated the one guideline that stumped me all these years: "Please be careful to note that the topic must be innovative (break new ground in research) and so focused that issue is nearly exhausted in 20 pages." HOW CAN I BREAK NEW GROUND??

I am stuck because I don't feel innovative and questioning enough to come up with an idea that "breaks new ground in research."

That is why I am feeling like I am in deep water, not knowing what to grab.

The only thing I am sure of are the invitations that God keeps extending for people to help me. Can I be humble enough to tell them I am lost?

Friday Five: Gloom before Spring

Sally says at RevGalBlogPals:

Candlemass is past, and Christmas is well and truly over, here in the UK February looks set to be its usual grey and cold self. Signs of spring are yet to emerge; if like me you long for them perhaps you need ways to get through these long dark days. So lets share a few tips for a cold and rainy/ snowy day....

1. Exercise, what do you do if you can't face getting out into the cold and damp?
Lately it has been raining and even one day was immersed in fog so that I have not felt like going out to walk the puppy Maisie. It was so exciting last night to see the clouds parting, and today the sun is shining!

2. Food; time to comfort eat, or time to prepare your body for the coming spring/summer?

The past few weeks of cold weather reminded me of my coping mechanisms when we lived in RI and NJ--I would cook and bake! I found the coziest, almost mushy, chicken recipe to cook in the crockpot this week: I’ve Died & Gone to Heaven Chicken Slow Cooker / Crock Pot Recipe. CB has even enjoyed it with his oppressive cold. But I need to renew my commitment to counting points with the Weight Watchers program.

3. Brainpower; do you like me need to stave off depression, if so how do you do it?
Since I suffered from clinical depression for years, I take prozac daily, and believe the medicine (and therapy) saved my life. Now in the current issue of Newsweek, the cover and a long article discuss "The Depressing News About Antidepressants: Studies suggest that the popular drugs are no more effective than a placebo. In fact, they may be worse."

I have tried to stop taking prozac, but fall into the flat affect state which deteriorates into suicidal ideation for me. So I continue to take meds.

4. How about a story that lifts your spirits, is there a book or film that you return to to stave off the gloom?
We recently watched "Kinky Boots," which both CB and I love.



5. Looking forward, do you have a favourite spring flower/ is there something that says spring is here more than anything else?
I love daffodils, which I could see bringing forth the message of spring in Bellingham, WA and when we also lived in RI and NJ. I fondly remember the daffodils blooming at the cemetery soon after my dad was buried there in Feb. 2002.

But in TX the wildflowers can be abundant and glorious. However, there have been few coming forth in the past few years because of the severe drought in this area. With all the rainfall this past fall and winter, we are hoping we'll see bluebonnets and other wildflowers in their glory soon.
Bonus; post a poem/ piece of music that points to the coming spring......

The Bright Field

by R. S. Thomas

I have seen the sun break through

to illuminate a small field

for a while, and gone my way

and forgotten it. But that was the pearl

of great price, the one field that had

the treasure in it. I realize now

that I must give all that I have

to possess it. Life is not hurrying

on to a receding future, nor hankering after

an imagined past. It is the turning

aside like Moses to the miracle

of the lit bush, to a brightness

that seemed as transitory as your youth

once, but is the eternity that awaits you.

Please pray for Chris

As requested on August 9, I again entreat you to pray for my sister-in-law Chris. Although she has endured a harsh regimen of chemo therapy in the past months, Chris has more cancer in her lungs from what was originally breast cancer. (Since August, she also lost 25 pounds, which she did not have to lose.) She lives in Bellingham, WA with CB's brother TH.

Right now Chris and TH are on a short trip to Hawaii. I pray that this is an enjoyable and love-filled time for both of them.

Don't wait!

"We must not wait for common sense, our acquaintances, or our schedules to make room for prayer and to support our efforts. If we do, prayer will never come. If we wait for the time in which to wait for God we will never wait for him. We will never discover in prayer our true self in God."

Finley, James. Merton's Palace of Nowhere. Notre Dame: Ave Maria Press, 1978. 118.

What's going on (not much) here

Cecilia wrote about blogging and narcissism, and now I seem to be fulfilling that role of blogging: me, me, me. You decide. . . .

• It has been foggy all day, with drizzle. Evidently the warmer air from the south is interacting with a cold front, so tomorrow a thunderstorm is predicted, with about four inches of rain expected.
• Poor CB has a terrible cold. He stalwartly continues to work at Habitat for Humanity houses each day and right now is teaching at the community college "Chemistry for Nursing Students." Selfishly, I hope I will not catch his cold.
• Maisie chewed up the cover to the outdoor barbecue grill yesterday. BJ's dog Troy did that on a visit here when he was an active puppy, like Maisie.
  
• I cooked a delicious chicken recipe I found on the internet today in the crockpot. The recipe is here. We'll have leftovers for the next few days, which I really like.
  
• We had a rousing discussion in EFM today about Christian inclusivism and pluralism. It all started with three ways to look at religion with a Christian lens:
  

1. exclusivism: Jesus is the only way to salvation.
2. inclusivism: all people go through Jesus, even if they don't recognize him/her as "Jesus." (I suppose this is like Karl Rahner talking about the "anonymous Christian.")
3. pluralism: all ways lead to God

• Someone in the class suggested that with a pluralistic viewpoint, Jesus is not "necessary." That sounds harsh, but I have a lot of unknowing about the specifics of my faith, though I do believe that God loves each person and welcomes each one home. Also, that Jesus is our model as how to live and love.
• In worship, in prayer, and in the Eucharist, I sometimes experience the Holy Presence. I know that we encounter the Holy in community, especially in church--and in life.
  
• For Valentine's Day weekend son DC and his wife AA are coming to visit us, along with their bulldog Sampson. Sampson and Maisie will have a good time playing, which will give a breather to Cisco.
  

Happy Groundhog Day!

A Good Book!

"In a Chinese folktale called 'The Neighbor's Shifty Son,' a farmer's ax disappears. Believing his neighbor's son to have stolen it, the farmer keeps watch all day, noticing how guilty both his neighbor and his neighbor's son appear. On the following day, however he finds his ax in the field where he left it. When he next looks at his neighbor, he sees a perfectly normal person with his perfectly innocent son. Learning the truth changed the way he saw his neighbor." (1)

The little tale quoted above comes from the pictured book (below it). The Wisdom Class, which meets every Tuesday at my church, is beginning to read this new book tomorrow: But I Tell You: Jesus Introduces a Better Way to Live by Karen L. Oberst. Her little bio says this about the author:

"Karen L. Oberst majored in Greek at Houghton College in Houston, NY. She is a librarian, and an elder at Klamath Falls Friends Church in Klamath Falls, OR."

It's a book where the author translates the Beatitudes from the original Greek to words we can understand more readily in our culture. Oberst is an excellent teacher.

I have previously quoted from this book, which you may look at here.