Brother Robert Lentz retreat

Brother Robert Lentz

I went to Houston this weekend for a short silent retreat with Brother Robert Lentz, who is famous for his contemporary icons. This was my first visit to the Cenacle House, which is run by six Cenacle Sisters. It was a wonderful experience in all respects, especially the speaker. I will write more about his talks in the coming week.

I went with four dear friends from Corpus Christi. We were part of a group of 15 who came for the silent retreat, with talks by the Franciscan Friar. The 4-hour rides to and from Houston were interesting and funny, with laughter throughout.

Dorothy Day by Robert Lentz, OFM

IRONY!

AE and KA gave husband CB a t-shirt with the chemical sign of iron. He likes to wear it to his chemistry class (chem. for nursing students) on the night of the first test. That was last night at the local community college.

CB says that on the first test he always has a question about Fe/Iron. The students rarely get that question correct, even though the answer is on their professor's shirt! (And last night's exam was no exception.)

I think it's cute. Too bad CB's students don't notice.

Prayer

”Prayer is thus the search for a relationship. ‘My God, if you insist, make me know you,’ exclaimed Pascal, and that will be our exclamation as our inner longing for God gradually wakens to the fact that without him we are nothing. When things get to this stage in prayer, instead of thinking that something might be wrong with our prayer, we should recognize in it a real sign of growth, stability, and maturity. It is a cause for great thanksgiving when we are prepared to make the leap of faith at the call of God into a way of praying that may seem dark and meaningless, but which, in reality, is an invitation of love to greater intimacy. This is the reality of the situation, though we ourselves may be aware of nothing except our inability to formulate our deepest longings. In this relationship we must be childlike, believing that God knows the inner secrets of our hearts and that there is no need for us to formulate them in words.” (6)

Mother Mary Clare SLG. Encountering the Depths: Prayers, Solitude, and Contemplation. Harrisburg, PA: Morehouse Publishing, 1993

Wishing. . . .for LGBT rights

I wish that this could legally happen for my daughter and her partner:

From The Huffington Post

CB and I, plus our other children, love AE and KA very much and would love to celebrate their marriage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AE and KA are registered as legal partners in WA State. However there is a referendum on the November state ballot that could outlaw this egalitarian provision of WA State. I wish I could vote in WA. However, CB and I could donate to the campaign and so can you!

To KEEP legal partners in WA Referendum 71 must be approved!

About Referendum 71:
"There are more than 12,000 people in Washington state registered in domestic partnerships. Gay and lesbian families need domestic partnership laws to provide essential protections for their families. Families with children need the protections provided by domestic partnership laws, especially when a parent dies. Seniors need the protections provided by domestic partnership laws. For seniors, domestic partnerships mean that their hard-earned social security, military or pension benefits are not put at risk. Police officers and firefighters who risk their lives to protect our communities need domestic partnership laws if they are hurt or killed in the line of duty, so that their families are taken care of by their pension or workers' compensation."

Remembering my parents' spirituality

I visited a dear friend out in Sandia, TX today, where she and her husband live on family land in a big ranch house. We are in the same spiritual directors' peer group and have become spiritual friends and sometime directors for each other.

As I was leaving, I happened to mention how my mother liked to visit psychics, and so LP said that must have been formative for me, because I always considered my youth as unchurched. With that interesting observation, I am thinking about my parents' spirituality (or not).

My parents did not go to church, but took me to Sunday School starting in third grade at Camp Pendleton, CA. One of them dropped me off and picked me up afterwards. This started a trend so that I joined a very small youth group (of about 4-6 junior high school kids) at my dad's next station--at Yokosuka Naval Base, Japan. I just remember going to non-denominational churches on Marine and Navy bases, but that's only two bases, so maybe my memory is faulty as I may not really have been "unchurched." (I did not feel "churched.")

In my faith story, I relate how I attended Saint Paul's Episcopal Church in Bellingham, WA in 11th grade. Until now I thought that was my first church--it was the first time I regularly attended worship services, still without my parents.

But about my parents' spirituality:

• My father never talked about God or went to church. I know he was brought up as a Baptist in a tiny town in Arkansas during the Depression. The only story I remember about church is him telling how he and his friends paid some black kids nickels to fake conversions in their church. They watched, laughing, outside. That seemed to indicate his perspective of religion--fake. But he did not seem afraid to die in 2002.
  

• My mother taught me to sing "Away in the Manger" every Christmas when I was little and also how to say the Lord's Prayer. Her mother had been a Christian Scientist, and so my mother would talk about her mother's faith and how she read the Bible daily. My mother would tell me as she and I aged that "someday she would start going to church," but she never did. She enjoyed reading afterlife stories and about psychic's predictions. When we lived in Bellingham, we would go and have our tea leaves read in Vancouver, BC. And when I was in college and beyond, we would visit psychics every so often when I came back for visits.
  

I don't remember that much about psychic visits. The last time I went to one was when DC, our first child, was our only one, so that was before 1982. Several times I was told that I had a strong guardian angel. I still remember that, but don't know if I even believe in angels.

I know my mother believed in God and an afterlife; she also believed in ghosts. I don't know if she prayed though I do know that she practiced transcendental meditation. When she was dying of pancreatic cancer in 1992, she told me how she had felt surrounded by light and reassured that she would be all right after a time of meditation. She took that to mean she was not going to die, but I knew it was a message that she would live on after death.

It is true that each person has spirituality. It is good to acknowledge that in my parents.

Friday Five: Where on the Stairs?

Thinking of your childhood as a stairway, when did you feel (and how did you feel then)

1. at the bottom?
When I had to tell kids that I went to TWO years of kindergarten, because they always asked me if I'd FLUNKED! I didn't--I moved from WA State to VA after one year of kindergarten, and when I got to VA my birthday in October was too late for me to start first grade.

2. at the top?
When I was in second grade and could read the colored (Red, blue, etc.) fairy tale books on my own, because I was such a good reader. I loved reading and reading. (Still do.)

3. halfway?
The one semester I was in a 3/4 grades combination class before going into 5th grade was my halfway period between 3rd and 5th grades. A new elementary school had been built, so those of us living on Camp Pendleton, CA were sent there. That's where I was put into the 3/4 combination class; it was also where I was tested during various class periods to determine whether I could skip 4th grade, though I did not know that until later.

(So if you look at #1, you can see that I ended up where I would have been if I had not had to repeat kindergarten because of my age! Thus, I was 17 when I graduated from high school and started college.)

4. At this point in your life, where would you place yourself on your own stairway?
I keep moving, but never seem to get to the top. I like to think I'm where "it isn't up" and "it isn't down", though I can creep lower on the stairs when I criticize myself for not getting those papers done for my master's degree!

5. Identify a place for you that "isn't really anywhere" but "somewhere else instead."

That definitely occurs when I'm reading, especially books like Harry Potter! Sometimes when I am in prayer, time can be like that, too.

And here's the poem this Friday Five was based upon:

Halfway down the stairs
Is a stair
Where I sit.
There isn't any
Other stair
Quite like
It.
I'm not at the bottom,
I'm not at the top;
So this is the stair
Where
I always
Stop.

Halfway up the stairs
Isn't up,
And isn't down.
it isn't in the nursery,
it isn't in the town.
And all sorts of funny thoughts
Run round my head:
"It isn't really
Anywhere!
It's somewhere else
Instead!"

— A. A. Milne

Peace Planet prayers

Peace Planet: Light for Our World is a spiral book with short prayers written for each country of the world in alphabetical order. It was composed by Nan Merril (author of Psalms for Praying) and Barbara Taylor.

Here is the prayer for Bangladesh:

Prayer,
deeply rooted in silence,
with hearts open wide,
brings Light out of darkness
needed somewhere on Earth.

We are asking,
May
Light
flourish on Earth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you are interested in buying Peace Planet prayers, this is the only way I know to do it:

Mail a check for $15.00 to

Friends of Silence
Peace and Prayer Gift Shop
200 Rock Street
Hannibal, MO 63401

For information, email: FriendsOfSilence@sbcglobal.net

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Also posted for Thursday Prayer at RevGal Prayer Pals, where a different prayer is posted every day.

You loved us first

You have first loved us, O God, alas. We speak of it in terms of history, as if you have only loved us first but a single time, rather than that, without ceasing, you have loved us first many times and every day and our whole life through.

When we wake up in the morning and turn our soul to you, you are the first. You have loved us first; if I rise at dawn and at the same time turn my soul towards you in prayer, you are ahead of me; you have loved me first.

When I withdraw from the distractions of the day and turn my soul in thought towards you, you are the first and thus forever. And yet we always speak ungratefully as if you have loved us first only once.

~Soren Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

Seeds

Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution.
If you don't have any problems,
you don't get any seeds.

Norman Vincent Peale

I have nothing to write. It's even odd that I do not feel like writing handwritten notes or cards. Definitely no journaling. No original thought at all.

Public Option Explained

Friday Five: PJs

Sophia wrote this week's Friday Five for RevGalBlogPals:

1. What was your favorite sleeping attire as a child? And did you call them pjs, pajamas (to rhyme with llamas), pajamas (to sort of rhyme with bananas), jammies, or ???
I always liked nighties best, with baby-doll pajamas a highlight for awhile in elementary school.

2. Favorite sleepwear put on your own little ones, or perhaps those you babysat? (Bonus points if you made it).
My mother would make pajamas and nighties for my children. Otherwise, I usually bought Sears brand with Winnie the Pooh on them.

3. How about today-do you prefer nightgown, pajamas, undies, or au naturel?
I still like a nightgown, though it's probably a nightshirt.

4. Silky smooth or flannel-y cozy?
In the winter, I like flannel and remember fondly the flannel nightgowns my mother made me until she died in 1992. Being in TX, most of the year I wear cotton nightshirts.

5. Socks or bare feet?
Bare feet in TX.

Bonus: Funny story regarding sleepwear (or the lack thereof).
When my husband had an emergency appendectomy when we had two small children, I had to go and buy him pajamas to wear in the hospital. That was the first and last time he ever wore them.

New Book: CHRISTOPHANY

"Christophany, as I have said, is not a simple extension of christology that attempts to explain--and even understand--the 'fact' of Christ. Since it is more experiential, christophany concentrates its attention on the light in which Christ manifests himself to us. In this way we discover that not only do many of Jesus' statements create scandal by shaking our habits, but they seem to originate in a different vision of the world." (18)

Panikkar, Raimon. Christophany: The Fullness of Man. Tr. Alfred DiLascia. Maryknoll, NY: Orbis Books, 2004. (4th printing 2009)

I am so excited about this book. It is dense, slow, and beautiful. It is a nice accompaniment to Richard Rohr's newest book The Naked Now: Learning to See as the Mystics See.

SPAM

Since the weekend I have been deluged with SPAM email. This has not happened to me before to this extent. There are offers for employment, sex, dating, loans, money, free laptops, cell phones, anything you can think of. Most irritating.

I don't know who sold my email address. Blah.

So I am clicking the spam button repeatedly. It's working, because today I looked in the spam folder and there was a screen full of ridiculous messages. It gives me great pleasure to click on "EMPTY SPAM FOLDER."

Will they ever stop bothering me? Maybe I should change my email account name. . . .

Red Lipstick

Bright red lipstick. In fact, a new tube of red lipstick. That's what I immediately remembered when we were asked about our earliest memory in EFM today.

The story I have was told to me so many times that I am unsure about what I actually remember. It was the day I painted the bathroom with lipstick!

When I was 2-3 years old in Lubbock, TX, every Saturday my mother would go shopping and leave me at home with my father. My mother told me that on this particular day, I was dazzled by a brand new tube of red lipstick she used for the first time, before going out.

While I was supposedly napping, my father also took a snooze. Somehow I dragged a chair from the kitchen past him to the bathroom, so that I could reach into the medicine cabinet over the sink. When I found the lipstick, I used the entire tube up by painting the bathroom walls with it.

I don't remember my mother coming home, but she told me years later that she came back to find both my dad and me asleep. She was furious when she discovered the lurid bathroom, but she was angry with my father and not me. Maybe that's why I don't remember the conclusion to the episode.

It is only now, looking back, that I realize my dad slept through the clatter of the chair being pulled along the floor because he had probably been drinking beer before he fell asleep. He always drank a lot of beer; I did not realize he was an alcoholic until I had been away from him (and home) for decades. That seems clear now, but I never noticed it when the story was told to me--I never asked why he did not wake up.

Today I took a catnap.

Tuesday and today

Tomorrow is the start of school days for many children in the US and a continuation for others. For me, it is the beginning of two classes that meet on Tuesdays (10-12 and 1:30-4:30).

Tuesday morning is the Wisdom Class, which is a book study I facilitate. We are starting Richard Rohr's newest book The Naked Now. There are usually about six people who regularly come to this class, but the size will probably double with those interested in this new book. And our meditation (found here) for the beginning of the class is:

I can only fly freely
when I know there is a catcher to catch me.
If we are to take risks,
to be free,
in the air,
in life,
we have to know
that when we come down from it all,
we're going to be caught,
we're going to be safe.
The great hero is the least visible.
Trust the catcher.

— Henri Nouwen

Tuesday afternoon is EFM or Education for Ministry. This is my third year, which will be on church doctrine and history. That reminds me of the "Christian Believer" classes I led when I was at First Methodist. I always found that course invigorating, so this year of EFM should be very interesting.

MJ drove back to San Antonio today, but her older (24 year old) brother BJ (with his dog Troy) stayed on. Poor BJ started feeling sick when he was barbecuing chicken for me around noon. He felt nauseous and dreadful, even feverish. He was gradually feeling better tonight and ate some soup, but then admitted he was aching all over. So I called our doctor, and he is now taking Tamiflu. I hope he feels better soon, so he can return to Houston and his job. (Plus I hope the rest of us don't catch whatever he has. Since he's not coughing, I don't think it's swine flu.)

Change or else

Jim Winkler, General Secretary, General Board of Church & Society writes a column every week for Faith in Action, which shares "News and Views from the United Methodist Board of Church and Society."

This week he wrote about "The Other War."

"A lesson to be learned from these past eight years is that the church of Jesus Christ in the United States must devote itself to changing our intensely angry and violent society to a culture of peace before we destroy ourselves. Right now, destruction is exactly the path we are on."

I so feel he expresses what many of us feel is happening in the the United States. Go here to read the short article.

Bill Moyers Journal

From Bill Moyers' Journal, Sept. 4, 2009:

BILL MOYERS: The editors of THE ECONOMIST magazine say America's health care debate has become a touch delirious, with people accusing each other of being evil-mongers, dealers in death, and un-American.

Well, that's charitable.

I would say it's more deranged than delirious, and definitely not un-American.

Those crackpots on the right praying for Obama to die and be sent to hell — they're the warp and woof of home-grown nuttiness. So is the creature from the Second Amendment who showed up at the President's rally armed to the teeth. He's certainly one of us. Red, white, and blue kooks are as American as apple pie and conspiracy theories.

Bill Maher asked me on his show last week if America is still a great nation. I should have said it's the greatest show on earth. Forget what you learned in civics about the Founding Fathers — we're the children of Barnum and Bailey, our founding con men. Their freak show was the forerunner of today's talk radio.

Speaking of which: we've posted on our website an essay by the media scholar Henry Giroux. He describes the growing domination of hate radio as one of the crucial elements in a "culture of cruelty" increasingly marked by overt racism, hostility and disdain for others, coupled with a simmering threat of mob violence toward any political figure who believes health care reform is the most vital of safety nets, especially now that the central issue of life and politics is no longer about working to get ahead, but struggling simply to survive.

So here we are, wallowing in our dysfunction. Governed — if you listen to the rabble rousers — by a black nationalist from Kenya smuggled into the United States to kill Sarah Palin's baby. And yes, I could almost buy their belief that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction, only I think he shipped them to Washington, where they've been recycled as lobbyists and trained in the alchemy of money laundering, which turns an old-fashioned bribe into a First Amendment right.

Only in a fantasy capital like Washington could Sunday morning talk shows become the high church of conventional wisdom, with partisan shills treated as holy men whose gospel of prosperity always seems to boil down to lower taxes for the rich.

Poor Obama. He came to town preaching the religion of nice. But every time he bows politely, the harder the Republicans kick him.

No one's ever conquered Washington politics by constantly saying "pretty please" to the guys trying to cut your throat.

Let's get on with it, Mr. President. We're up the proverbial creek with spaghetti as our paddle. This health care thing could have been the crossing of the Delaware, the turning point in the next American Revolution — the moment we put the mercenaries to rout, as General Washington did the Hessians at Trenton. We could have stamped our victory "Made in the USA." We could have said to the world, "Look what we did!" And we could have turned to each other and said, "Thank you."

As it is, we're about to get health care reform that measures human beings only in corporate terms of a cost-benefit analysis. I mean this is topsy-turvy — we should be treating health as a condition, not a commodity.

As we speak, Pfizer, the world's largest drug maker, has been fined a record $2.3 billion dollars as a civil and criminal — yes, that's criminal, as in fraud — penalty for promoting prescription drugs with the subtlety of the Russian mafia. It's the fourth time in a decade Pfizer's been called on the carpet. And these are the people into whose tender mercies Congress and the White House would deliver us?

Come on, Mr. President. Show us America is more than a circus or a market. Remind us of our greatness as a democracy. When you speak to Congress next week, just come out and say it. We thought we heard you say during the campaign last year that you want a government run insurance plan alongside private insurance — mostly premium-based, with subsidies for low-and-moderate income people. Open to all individuals and employees who want to join and with everyone free to choose the doctors we want. We thought you said Uncle Sam would sign on as our tough, cost-minded negotiator standing up to the cartel of drug and insurance companies and Wall Street investors whose only interest is a company's share price and profits.

Here's a suggestion, Mr. President: ask Josh Marshall to draft your speech. Josh is the founder of the website talkingpointsmemo.com. He's a journalist and historian, not a politician. He doesn't split things down the middle and call it a victory for the masses. He's offered the simplest and most accurate description yet of a public insurance plan — one that essentially asks people: would you like the option — the voluntary option — of buying into Medicare before you're 65? Check it out, Mr. President.

This health care thing is make or break for your leadership, but for us, it's life and death. No more Mr. Nice Guy, Mr. President. We need a fighter.

That's it for the Journal. I'm Bill Moyers. See you next time.

God and Evolution

"In a world in evolution is there purpose in the universe? The answer must certainly be: Never more so than now. Evolution is, in fact, a great spiritual teacher. We learn from the fossils of the ages that development is most often a slow and uncertain process, a precarious and breakneck experience that demands both time and trust in the future that is God, and in the God of the future. Evolution teaches us that movement from one stage of life to another is often both cumbersome and painful but that the pain is prelude to a better self.

"We learn that failure is a necessary part of life, not its misdoing. It is simply a holy invitation to become more than we are at present. Time is grace and trying is virtue. Struggle is a sign of new life, not a condemnation of this one.

"Evolution shows us that the God of becoming is a beckoning God who goes before us to invite us on, to sustain us on the way, rather than a judging God who measures us by a past we did not shape."

Go here to read the rest of the essay by Joan Chittister.

Irish Commercial

Thanks to my daughter AE.

Stop Genocide!

by Signe Wilkinson

Friday Five: Recharging ourselves

Sally at RevGalBlogPals writes:

A few weeks ago my lap-top battery died, suddenly I found myself looking at a blank screen and was rather relieved to find that it was only the battery and not the whole computer that had failed. This morning a new battery arrived in the post, and suddenly I am mobile again!

After a week with what feels like wall to wall meetings, and Synod looming on the horizon for tomorrow I find myself pondering my own need to recharge my batteries. This afternoon Tim and I are setting off to explore the countryside around our new home, I always find that walking in the fresh air away from phones and e-mails recharges me. But that is not the only thing that restores my soul, so do some people, books, pieces of music etc....

So I wonder what/ who gives you energy?

I need some right now as we are in a rush to drive to San Antonio, so this is quick:

1. Is there a person who encourages and uplifts you, whose company you seek when you are feeling low?

Friends and sometimes my children. Writing helps greatly.

2. How about a piece of music that either invigorates or relaxes you?

I should turn to music more often than I do.

3. Which book of the Bible do you most readily turn to for refreshment and encouragement? Is there a particular story that brings you hope?

Psalms, especially Nan Merrill's translations.

4. A bracing walk or a cosy fireside?

It's too hot right now in TX to think of either. I am learning that turning to God in a time of meditation helps greatly.

5. Are you feeling refreshed and restored at the moment or in need of recharging, write a prayer or a prayer request to finish this weeks Friday Five....

Surprisingly, the email service "Inward/Outward" had a most appropriate prayer this morning:

God rest us.
Rest that part of us which is tired.
Awaken that part of us which is asleep.
God awaken us and awake within us.
Amen

By Michael Leunig

5 Biggest Lies in the Health Care Debate

The latest issue of "Newsweek" has a young Teddy Kennedy on the cover and has an article by Sharon Begley about "The Five Biggest Lies in the Health Care Debate."

1. You'll have no choice in what health benefits you receive.
2. No chemo for older Medicare patients.
3. Illegal immigrants will get free health insurance.
4. Death panels will decide who lives.
5. The government will set doctors' wages.

Go here to read this interesting article.

Their August 14th issue has "Seven Falsehoods about Health Care."

Sept. 2 for different people

I was one of three friends giving a baby shower for the daughter of another friend today. Luckily, DT is a whiz at planning parties and getting things organized so PD and I were go-fers for her, so the party was all ready by 5 o'clock. It was fun, but lots of buzzing and chit-chat that after awhile got me hiding. So tonight I was glad to come home after we cleaned up, to be quiet.

Four hours of teaching, studying, or visiting with a few friends is much easier for me than four hours of "socializing." I'm glad I could be one of the hostesses, but am also pleased that I don't do this very often. It's much easier for me if we don't chit-chat and instead talk about something serious, which isn't exactly the topic for discussion at a baby shower.

Three years ago my son DC married AA. It's a happy memory for us. Today is also the anniversary of Josh, Gannet Girl's son, dying. Her pictures of him on her blog show a fun guy. Wishing his family to remember happy times with Josh and the joy he brought to their family.

Newest Richard Rohr book is out!

I got my copy this afternoon, but am still reading Beloved Dust by Robert Davis Hughes, which was reviewed here. I am very preoccupied by it, even though Rohr's new book is calling my name.

Next Tuesday our Wisdom Class starts again, and The Naked Now: Learning to See as the Mystics See by Richard Rohr will be our book to discuss for the next few months. I'll have to start reading it soon.

Gannet Girl asks us to light a candle

Gannet Girl asks us to light a candle--please do!

Light a candle at Gratefulness.Org

Mysticism Courses in San Antonio

Carl McColman reports about the Mystics Course in San Antonio that will be starting on Sept. 12. He gives a good description of the three year course here. I am starting the third year and so will be attending the first meeting on Russian Spirituality.

On Facebook, Carl brought to my attention an article in the San Antonio Newspaper where my name was mentioned about the course. First time I've been in the newspaper! A few days before, the reporter called and asked me about taking the Mystics Course, especially since I drive from Corpus Christi to attend the monthly meetings. Here's a mish-mash of info from our phone conversation:

Mystics course open to all faiths

By Abe Levy- San Antonio Express-News (8/29/09)

Jan Hilton starts most days sitting in a living room chair, facing an iconic image of Jesus created 1,400 years ago in a Middle Eastern monastery.

Before she prays and meditates there for 20 minutes, she looks into the eyes of the picture.

“It creates the right frame of mind,” she said. “It’s just remembering that in awareness of the quiet is the divine.”

A spiritual director at an Episcopal church in Corpus Christi, Hilton said that same feeling of connection to God is one that has been enriched by her interest in mysticism. She has enrolled in a class about modern mystics that will begin next month in San Antonio.

Called “Christian Mysticism: History, Wisdom and Insights,” the course will include scholars talking about mystics from various Christian faith traditions, organizers said. In addition to talks about mystics, time is set aside in class for participants to practice prayer and meditation.

The course begins Sept. 12 and continues for one Saturday a month through May. It is the last part of a larger three-year course about mysticism sponsored by the Contemplative Outreach of San Antonio, the Ecumenical Center for Religion and Health and the Oblate School of Theology. The course beginning in two weeks will focus on contemporary mystics, starting with those from the Russian Orthodox tradition, and includes Simone Weil and Thomas Merton.

The class is open to people of all faith backgrounds with an interest in Christian mysticism, regardless of whether they attended the earlier portions of the course, organizers said.

The course came about in response to a growing interest among Christians of many backgrounds united in a desire to have a deeper connection to God. Past classes explored ancient and medieval mystics, such as the teachings of desert monks, said Ed Alcott, the course coordinator and an adjunct professor at Oblate.

“Spirituality is really the reason for religion,” he said, “but we can get off topic and oftentimes we have deep spiritual people who can help bring us back.”

For Hilton, the course helped her continue the spiritual journey that began after her mother’s death 17 years ago. Not a regular at any church while growing up, she wanted to speak to God but didn’t know how. Now, she regularly quotes Father Thomas Keating, regarded as the founder of the centering prayer movement.

“I’m learning more about these people and admiring their depth of love and knowledge they attained,” she said. “And that there’s a commonality in mysticism among all religions that the source of all is one God and one love.”

Here’s the website about the program: www.christianmysticismsa.org.

Our deeper wanting

Reading and reading again, but this time back in theology and not in novels or mysteries. I am finally trying to get some research done for my final paper for the Shalem Program for Spiritual Guidance. After that, I'll have momentum for working on my final papers for my master's degree in theology (finally).

Today I read a paragraph about how our "deep wanting" is a sign of God's presence. The depth of a conversation or of love or grief points to and feels like a deep connection within, which can also be identified with God's Love.

Thomas N. Hart writes that a spiritual director's "goal is to help a person get in touch with his or her own deepest wanting, on the conviction that being authentically oneself and being the person God wants one to be are one and the same. The director is trying to help a person separate out genuine deep wanting both from extrinsic shoulds and from trivial passing fancies, and to encourage a person to move confidently in the direction of his or her own deep wanting, as the surest index he or she has of God's purpose." (78)

Hart, Thomas N. The Art of Christian Listening. Mahwah, NJ: Paulist Press, 1980. 78.

I have felt that depth in a conversation with my children and with friends, where we touch true parts of ourselves in a long-remembered talk. These times are special, and I believe that they are connected through God's Love in each of us, joining us together.

U. S. Drought, especially TX

Drought Monitor

Rain clouds today, but only 1/4 inch of rain. Last week we had 1/3 inch of rain. This is the most it has rained in over three months. We are over 15 inches below normal for 2009 rainfall here--in south TX.

Japanese Maple in Japan

Courtesy of the LuEsther T. Mertz Library, New York Botanical Garden.
Utagawa Hiroshige III (1842-1894) Japanese maple from Kakyo Tokyo meisho, 1881. Woodblock print.

This was found at the Human Flower Project. I think it is beautiful. Not only do I love Japanese Maples, but I so appreciate Asian art.

Today is all that matters.

Thanks to Jennifer at An Orientation of Heart, I got another new book about health. And it reminds me of something a therapist told me 14 years ago, "CHOOSE HEALTH." That's what this book is gently pointing to: Fit from Within by Victoria Moran.

What I am hoping is that I will start living with only THREE meals a day. That cuts out a lot of snacking. With Infinity Squared and Jennifer leaving comments about it being healthier to have two snacks a day, I am planning to do that. Plus, that makes a healthier diet more livable!

Moran stresses staying here right now. Here are some quotes:

"It's dangerous to get caught up in 'When I get thin. . . ,' 'When I get this thing licked. . . ,' and other states of future glory. This is the day you've got. No matter how praiseworthy your eating and exercise are today, your weight isn't going to be very different when you go to bed tonight from when you got up this morning. The tiny changes will add up, but don't concern yourself too much with them. Just stay in today." (42)

"Today is it, and what you do today is all that matters. Staying centered in the now keeps you aware of what you're doing. You're far less likely to eat absentmindedly when you're firmly rooted in this day, this meal, this project, this conversation. When you stay focused, you fully experience the day--its events, its sensations, its nuances. Life will become richer and more gratifying. You'll have fewer regrets, because regrets belong to the past. You'll worry less, because worry is about the future, and when the future becomes the present it won't be nearly as frightening. The present almost never is." (42)

My Dog is my Teacher

My good friend Trudy Kenyon gave me this card today, as she was reminded of it when she saw the video "GoD and DoG" the other day. She painted this last year. It is also a reminder of how our dogs (and other pets) teach us how to live.

Trudy paints many types of pictures, which she makes into cards or prints for friends. I am the lucky recipient of many of her paintings in the form of cards, because she knows I like cards so much. I love hers.

Friday Five: I Like Myself

Singing Owl over at RevGalBlogPals wrote today's Friday Five:

Lately I seem to be encountering many people who have a very difficult time finding anything good to say about themselves. They are able to extend grace and forgiveness to others but find it difficult to extend that same grace to themselves.

With that in mind, let's share some healthy affirmation today! Tell us five things you like about yourself!

1. I am a loyal friend. I really value my friends.

2. I am a good cook, especially a good baker. I like to cook from scratch.

3. I like to learn; I like to read. There is so much to learn, all our lives!

4. I like to send cards, notes, and postcards. I used to be a very good correspondent but the internet seems to have changed those long handwritten letters to shorter, more infrequent and/or typed mail.

5. I like to smile.

Come into my heart, Lord Jesus

Lord Jesus Christ,

come into my heart,

pray in me and with me,

that I may learn from You

how to pray.

Amen.

*Probably from Mother Teresa

Dr. Siri of Laos

I'm still reading too much. Just finished my fourth Dr. Siri mystery.

And so I'll have something to put in my blog, I'll put some advice given to Dr. Siri by his old friend Daeng here:

Daeng had taught a girl working for her to read, despite schools kicking her out in Laos.

So Daeng told Dr. Siri: "Oh, its much more than nice, Siri. It didn't change the world. It isn't going to get her a job reading the news over the propaganda airwaves. She'll still serve noodles and wipe tables. But she's different inside now. She has a new love in her life, and I gave it to her. . . .You don't measure your own success against the size or volume of the effect you are having. You gauge it from the difference you make to the subject you're working on. At our age, you go for the small things and you do them as well as you can."

Cotterill, Colin. Anarchy and Old Dogs. NY: Soho Press, 2007. 186-187.

Dr. Siri said his mantra would be "Go for the small things and do them well."

That reminds me of the priest in Zambia who told our small group from Oblate School of Theology in 2006 that so many things needed to be fixed there that it was easy to be overwhelmed and thus accomplish little. Instead, he told us to pick one thing and concentrate on that.

GoD and DoG

From both Ellie and Roberta:

Hot Fudge Sauce!

MJ asked me if I would make our family's favorite hot fudge sauce tonight, so her boy friend CJS could try it. Of course, CB and I would like that, too!

This is such a good recipe that I give it to friends and to new brides and to anyone who wants it. I am going to share it here, as it is the BEST hot fudge sauce I have ever had. It is from an old Hershey Foods cookbook: Hershey's 1934 Cookbook. Ed. Josh Gaspero. Hershey foods Corporation: 1971. (p. 38)

Hot Fudge Sauce

Combine in a pan:
1/4 cup Hershey's cocoa
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 tsp. salt
1 Tbsp. cornstarch

Add and blend thoroughly:
1/2 cup light corn syrup
1/2 cup milk

Bring to a boil; boil 5 minutes.

Remove from heat; stir in
2 Tbsp. butter
2 tsp. vanilla

Cool, without stirring, until pan feels warm to hand. Serve.

Makes 1 1/2 cups sauce.

Tonight it was delicious!

Afternoon of waiting

I've been called to jury duty. Usually, I've gone in the morning, so I wait with many other people in a large room until about noon to be let go--and then call back for a few days. However, this time I must appear at 1:15 pm, so I assume that I will be waiting until 5 pm. That will be my afternoon, reading. I am taking two Dr. Siri mysteries along.

My friend NKE in CA told me that where she lives, they have computerized jury selections. When she is chosen to serve, she has to daily check in on the computer several times a day until she is told her status. That sounds easier.

Peace Arch Park

Son DC's picture of CB, Jan, and MJ
(the post behind CB marks the border between WA and Canada)

Whitney and Ashley

We just got back from an amazing event in Corpus Christi, TX: the celebration of a union of two women (who were legally married in Massachusetts in March). Their parents gave a lavish party, with frozen margaritas and lots of food--and lots of fun. There was a "mock" ceremony outside, which replicated the vows they said to each other in March. Then an aunt and uncle sang and played a song dedicated to Whitney and Ashley; the only words I can remember are that "their love interweaves us together." I like that.

There was so much joy and happiness radiating among the people that I was reminded of my son's wedding, which seemed just as happy. It was surprising that a few people came who are religiously opposed to gay marriage; they must have come as friends of the family. They did not act disapproving and were participating in the happiness shared. I'm glad.

May blessings of love and joy abound
in the lives of
Whitney and Ashley
forever.
Amen.

Wishin' and Hopin'

I spent too much time reading The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larsson this week. Oddly, it was a Christmas gift (from Terry and Dennis of Seattle) and I'd never gotten around to reading it until now. I've definitely been in "reading mode" since our vacation. This was a mystery that drew me in and kept me reading until the end. It could be classified close to the thriller genre, which makes me think that finally husband CB will like a book I recommend.

I had seen the following book at book stores in Seattle, but was not interested, because I hadn't read the first book. Immediately upon finishing Larsson's first mystery, I ordered the second, which I am waiting on.

That brought to mind that silly romantic song from the 1960's "Wishin' and Hopin'."

Now I am waiting for the UPS truck to drive up with that package, containing The Girl Who Played With Fire by Steig Larsson. (I'm glad our dinner is already simmering on the stove.)

This is how I'll spend this weekend, as the heat continues here in south TX--probably the 46th and 47th consecutive days of temperatures above 96 degrees F.

Friday Five: Rules

After a family vacation with our four children and three additional "partners," I am more aware of rules, spoken and unvoiced. Expectations are not always clearly expressed, but are still expected. . . . unbeknown to all unless one is not fulfilled! So how about writing about rules in your families and workplaces? Choose one or more for each category, especially if one seems odd or funny to you now.

1. Formal rules in family of origin
After I fractured my skull in first grade, an emphatic rule was NOT to dive into swimming pools. I did not learn to dive until junior high and was terrified to try for the first few times.

2. Unwritten and unspoken rules in family of origin
Don't cry--go into the bathroom and shut the door if you cry.

Get good grades, though my mother was always proud that she did not "pressure" me about grades.

Since I've been in recovery, I've realized that we practiced the rules of an alcoholic family:

• Don't talk
• Don't trust
• Don't feel

3. Formal rules in current family or workplace
Tell beforehand, where you will be or call and give that info, with some kind of a time period stated.

4. Unwritten rules in current family or workplace
You must like cottage cheese pancakes!

And I realized on the vacation we took on the WA beach that the formal #3 rule is now unspoken or unwritten, because my daughter's boy friend disappeared for almost five hours without telling anyone where he was going running. After three hours, we were very frightened. We were not sure where he was or how to reach him on this lonely beach next to an Indian reservation. Thankfully, he was found.

5. When was a time that you became aware of different rules in different places/families than your own?
I especially became aware of this when we returned from our vacation and the boy friend's dad laughed off the incident. Their family doesn't check in that often with each other. I think it involves both safety and respect for others.

When I was struggling with little sleep because I answered the cries of my toddlers, I realized that many families have their kids cry themselves to sleep so they will sleep through the night. Due to the influence of La Leche League on my parenting, I continued to hold and/or nurse my young ones until they went back to sleep. I believe trust is built this way.

Vacation Pictures

Lake Quinault, WA Rain Forest

AA and son DC, MJ and CJS
at Ballard Locks (in Seattle)

Rabbit totem in Pioneer Square, Seattle

DC coming out of fountain in downtown Seattle

View from rented house in Moclips, WA

Beach at Moclips, WA

CB and Jan at Ocean Crest Restaurant our last night in Moclips, WA

MJ, AA, DC, BJ, and CJS at Peace Arch Park (border between USA and Canada)

Happy as a clam?

This makes me think of our time on the Moclips beach in WA. Nine people together for three nights and four days; we were mostly happy. It was a fun time.

I brought back a bag of driftwood I collected there. Today I tried baking them in the oven, and oh, did the house stink! After complaints from CB (and myself, I must admit), I put them outside, where they still are laying on cookie sheets on the deck bench.

Back home!

We got back to hot Corpus Christi, TX last night. Today it was 99 degrees F. That's quite a shock after the lovely weather in WA State.

We had a wonderful time, which I will relate when I download pictures and have washed all the clothes (and completely unpacked).

Thank you for prayers for our sister-in-law Chris. Please keep them coming. There is good news about Dennis--the surgeon removed ALL the cancer when he cut out half of Dennis' liver.

And now I want to recommend these books that I read on our vacation:

The Help by Kathryn Stockett

This takes place in Jackson, Mississippi in the 1960's when the civil rights movement was gaining momentum in the USA and just before women's lib grew into consciousness. The voices of two black "help" and the Junior League ladies they serve, with one new college graduate wondering where she fits in contrast the attitudes prevalent at that time. This is excellent!

How to Be Good by Nick Hornby

This is a silly, but provocative, book about a female physician in London in a strained marriage with two children. Her husband has a spiritual conversion, and she struggles with his pious giving as she wonders what "being good" is. Is one only "good" in comparison to others? Is it necessary to have those "more" good or "less" good to gauge one's worth?

I Am the Messenger by Marcus Zusak

Since I loved reading The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak, I got this book for our vacation. I read it after MJ and devoured it. It is very easy reading, but is thought provoking. After a failed bank robbery, Ed becomes the messenger, recieving messages of his next mission via aces. Through acts of kindness to those around him, Ed is being led by the hand through a journey of self discovery and sometimes is helped with the advice of pie eating hit-men. The ending is unexpected.

The Coroner's Lunch by Colin Cotterill

I gave this book to my son BJ for his birthday in April, but he never wanted to read it. He brought it along on our vacation trip for me. It is the first book in a series of mysteries about a Laotian doctor who is 72 years old in 1970's Laos, after the Communist takeover. It was interesting about the locale and time period, as well as good character development of the various people involved. I am going to read the four other books in this series.

Prayers needed!

At the end of a my husband's family's barbecue, with 25 people attending, his brother took a few of us aside to tell us that his wife has a recurrence of breast cancer. It has been 12 years since she was first diagnosed and suddenly there is cancer in various organs. It is a shock, as she looks and feels great.

Please, oh, please pray for Chris.

Bellingham, WA in fun and sadness

With recent trips to Seattle, where I am again, and Canada, my blogging has been infrequent, and my visits to other blogs even less. Suddenly I am learning that Fran and Jaliya are taking breaks, and I wonder who else. . . . as I seem to be doing the same.

We had a busy three days in Seattle, doing lots of sightseeing and even saw a play on Capital Hill where the daughter of one of my oldest friends was the star. It was good to see Dennis getting a little more active, though he still gets fatigued easily. My kids had two long, long visits with him on Friday and Saturday, which seemed to energize and tire him at the same time. I'm so glad they love him and Terry.

Now we're at CB's parents' house in Bellingham, WA. Today is the summer family barbecue and reunion of all CB's siblings and their children. One great-grandchild is coming; she's one year old. CB has two sisters and one brother, so this is a large clan gathering. We bring nine, counting MJ's boy friend CS. Approximately 25 will be here.

After a dinner at Chuck's sister's house last night, I was suddenly and unexpectedly struck with grief, having none of my own family around at all. Since I was an only child, my dad was an only child, and my mother had just one sister, I have no family left in Bellingham. (You may recall that I have a distant cousin Margaret in Calgary, Canada.)

I am sad that my children's partners will only know CB's family, hearing stories of their past. Yes, I can tell a few tales of my family, but the children are not seeing the places or anyone else remembering them, like CB's siblings. It's just the way it is. This is reality, which I am re-learning to accept. . . .and am surprised that I have this to do all over again.

Seattle again!

Different airlines are taking my family and me to Seattle this week. Six of us are flying to Seattle on Tuesday (from either Corpus Christi or Austin), and only BJ is flying on Friday (from Houston).

Friends Terry and Dennis and daughters AE and KA are being generously hospitable by opening their homes for us to stay with them. Even after Dennis' major surgery, he and Terry want CB and me to stay with them. AE and KA are inviting four of our young adults to stay with them.

The weather is cooling down in Seattle, so our time there may be more typically rainy and cool. We will see. . . .

Our trip is divided into three parts, oddly going north then southwest. First we'll be in Seattle, then up to Bellingham to visit CB's family, and after that we'll spend a few days in Moclips, which is on the coast north of Aberdeen.

Holding On

My friend Nancy commented on the post Living to Die about something Madeleine L'Engle wrote in her book The Rock That Is Higher.

In "The Rock That Is Higher", which my Bible study group is reading right now, in the first chapter, Madeleine L'Engle writes about being in a car accident:

"The ancient words of the Jesus Prayer, 'Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me,' surfaced in my mind. They have been with me for many years, like a deep, inner fountain. When I wake up in the night they are there--those strong, affirming words. They were with me as I sat in the crumpled car."

Later, in the hospital: "The Jesus Prayer was still with me, a strong rope to which I held like a sailor fallen from a ship."

And: "My only prayer was the Jesus Prayer and that was there for me because it has been part of my inner rhythm for many years, the prayer that fulfills Paul's exhortation to pray constantly, at all times, and in all places."

76 Trombones!