Yearning for God

The Virgin of Vladimir is an icon who chose me. I have a reprinted copy of her that I pray with, but now I realize I also have a handwritten Virgin of Vladimir. I received her for my birthday from my friend NKE, whom I first met in Yokosuka, Japan Naval Base when we were both in 7th grade. This past summer she and her sister accompanied their parents on a trip to Belgrade, where she found this for me. I so appreciated receiving a handwritten icon from such a dear friend that I did not try to decipher which icon of the Theotokos she was.

Yesterday a more local friend (NKE lives in California) LP told me about the journey that brought her to teach about icons at All Saints. When she was going to the Episcopal Theological Seminary of the Southwest in Austin, TX, she took an independent study course on icons with Fr. David Stringer (my former sp. dir.) at All Saints. For Advent that year, he suggested that she sit with her chosen icon every day of the season.

When she told me that, I felt like I'd been given a divine invitation, somehow enveloped in love of God and NKE's friendship with the icon she gave me. NKE and I have been friends for over 40 years; we were bridesmaids in each other's weddings; we've written letters (thanks to Snail Mail) and emails throughout these years, really at times being journals for each other.

Today I sat with the Virgin of Vladimir and found her eyes to be as piercing as they were the first time I ever sat with her. She holds the pain of the world in her eyes, which causes me to have tears. Tears are the gift of God, so I am assuming sitting with a few tears is my gift. We'll see if that continues throughout Advent.

At least it is the answer to our interim priest's question at the end of her homily yesterday: "What is one intentional way that will help me stay awake this Advent?"

And today I also awakened to the similarity NKE's gift icon has to the Virgin of Vladimir. I believe that she gave her to me, one that had been written in prayers.