Bellingham on the last day of July

Today has been a serene and quiet day at CB's parents' home in Bellingham, WA. I woke up early and went to Weight Watchers to face the truth of my vacation eating (+) and then walked around Lake Padden (3.5 miles). I am pleased that I don't have to stop and catch my breath going up one of the long ascending hills, as I found necessary in past years. I walked around Lake Padden for the first time after my mother's funeral in 1992, when CB took me there for a quiet reprieve. It has been special to me ever since then.

We went to my parents' old home, the only "home" I ever had growing up, since we moved to different base housing every few years when my dad was transferred by the Marine Corps. Since my father died in 2002, we have rented the house. We were fortunate with our first renters who stayed for six years. The last one was a con man and a suspected drug dealer who was finally evicted this past month. He left the garage full of garbage crawling with maggots.

CB's sister and her son have been cleaning and fixing up the house. They had to replace the floor and tub in the main bathroom. The house looked much better; I feel fortunate that CB's family is taking care of it. It is in much better shape since CB's sister started managing the property instead of a property management company.

As CB, his sister and his nephew looked around the house and discussed what was to be done, I wandered around the house. It was bittersweet, as I remembered my parents there. I sat for a long time in the basement, remembering how baby MJ and I slept down there while my mother was dying of cancer. (She died of pancreatic cancer only 42 days after diagnosis.)

In contrast to my lack of siblings, aunts and uncles, there will be a large gathering of CB's family tomorrow. He has two sisters and one brother, so they and their families will be here. And daughers AE, KA, and MJ will drive up from Seattle with their cute little cocker spaniel Morgan! (MJ flew from TX to Seattle today.) It will be a busy day, but I am hoping to walk around Lake Padden before people start arriving.

And here are a few posts about prayer that I highly recommend, especially as I was excited to find the time to visit some of my blogging friends today:

• Katherine E. posts about Eckhart Tolle and the present moment of spaciousness.

and

• Mike Marsh writes about prayer and the question: "How is your prayer?"

Elements of Change

The website Zen Habits has a wonderful post on the "Elements of Change."

1. Beating inertia. We all have inertia — that resistance to change, especially major change that disrupts our living patterns or way of thinking. Sometimes it’s not difficult to overcome — we can get excited to make a big change and want to overhaul a certain part of our lives. The joyous path, though, is in the middle ground between no change and drastic change. It’s in small changes — as small as possible. Small changes mean it’s not hard to get started, but also that the change is sustainable. If you make a drastic change, there is a great likelihood that it won’t stick very long.

If you’re feeling that inertia, set out to make as tiny a change as you can — just get out and walk for 5 minutes, or start writing or painting or playing your violin for 5 minutes. You can do anything for 5 minutes — it should seem ridiculously easy, but that’s the point.

(Go here to read descriptions of the rest.)

2. Beating the resistance of others.

3. Finding the joy.

4. Keeping the joy alive.

5. Celebrating the little victories.

6. Making it a part of your life.

And lastly

One last note, to anyone making changes: you will fail. I don’t say that to discourage you, but to release you from the fear of failure … because if you already know it will happen, then there’s no pressure to avoid it. Failure is an inevitable part of change, and in fact it should be celebrated — without failure, we’d learn nothing. Fail, fail often, and learn. Then you’ll be better equipped for the next attempt. Find joy in every attempt, in every victory, in every failure, and the change will be a reward in itself.

by Leo Babauta

Friday Five: Home Is Where the Heart Is

Today's RevGalBlogPals Friday Five post is brought by Kathrynzj. Since we got off the Alaska Ferry in Bellingham this morning, I can finally participate in a Friday Five again!

The plan is to list five things I like about where I live now, Corpus Christi, Texas:

1. I've lived there longer than I have ever lived anywhere else in my life, since I grew up moving around with my dad in the Marine Corps. Counting three successive periods, I have lived there for 29 years.

2. I have many good friends who live in Corpus Christi.

3. I can hang clothes out on my clothesline almost every day.

4. The sun frequently shines; I am not sure I could manage to happily live during all the gray, drizzly days of the Pacific Northwest, especially in the colder times of the year.

5. We have various physicians who know and care about us; this is something that gets more important as we age.

I DO NOT LIKE the LONG period of heat and humidity that goes from April/May to the end of October! This almost negates all the good things listed above!

(In an ideal world, we would live in Bellingham, WA in the summer and in Corpus Christi in the winter. Often during the winter months, it feels like a "Bellingham summer" in Corpus Christi!)

Will I remember "The Eating Guidelines"?

I hope I am not overwhelmed with food like this on my vacation! Since beginning at Weight Watchers last fall, I have lost over 25 pounds. I am happy about this, but also know from past experience how easily I can over-eat on vacations. I am hoping that I will keep in mind what Geneen Roth wrote in her newest book Women, Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything:

THE Eating Guidelines

1. Eat when you are hungry
2. Eat sitting down in a calm environment. This does not include the car.
3. Eat without distractions. Distractions include radio, television, newspapers, books, intense or anxiety-producing conversations or music.
4. Eat what your body wants.
5. Eat until you are satisfied.
6. Eat (with the intention of being) in full view of others.
7. Eat with enjoyment, gusto and pleasure.

Roth, Geneen. Women, Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything. NY: Scribner, 2010. 211.

I hope I can live this way.

Missing my dogs. . . .

"As It Is In Heaven"

Before this Alaska trip, CB and watched a movie from 2005 entitled "As It Is In Heaven." Even with those subtitles he hates, CB enthusiastically told the choir at church about this film. I was surprised by his enthusiasm, but not by his preoccupation with the movie.

It is about a young boy who is bulled in his Swedish town until he and his mother move away. Then it flashes to him grown up--a great musician and conductor who must give up his career due to his health. Unexpectedly, he returns to the town of his youth. There follows the stories of different villagers, including a wife-beater, whom the ex-conductor leads in the church choir. Transformations ensue, though not for everyone (of course). It is interesting how the dynamics of the village change as different people experience a new sort of freedom.

This is an excellent movie!

Happy Birthday, CB!

Today is CB's 60th birthday! We'll be on the Alaska Ferry enroute to Bellingham, WA.

Last day in Alaska!

Tomorrow is CB's birthday, and we will get up at 3 am so that we can catch the Alaska Ferry from Juneau to Bellingham, WA. CB's parents will meet us on Friday morning.

We were scheduled to go on a city and glacier tour this morning, but no one ever came. When we checked in the tourist center, the volunteers there said that tours often do this on Monday mornings, because they forget that no cruise ships arrive until lunchtime. So we called and were told they had put us on an afternoon tour, which CB denied and asked for a refund. One of the volunteers, also named "Jan", told us that we could take a taxi to Mendenhall Glacier and then catch the much cheaper shuttle back to town. (The shuttle would not start running until the cruise ships arrived.)

So we walked to the Alaska State Museum and saw a wonderful exhibit about the natives of Alaska, especially those on the coast, the Tlingit. The quality of the items showed are superior to those we saw at the museum in Anchorage, maybe because this is situated in the capitol of Alaska, Juneau.

After that, we took a taxi to the glacier. The driver was a pleasant young woman, who agreed to pick us up at 4 am in the morning and take us to the ferry terminal. At the National Park Center, we saw an excellent movie about glaciers and more specifically the Mendenhall Glacier. It is in the Tsongas National Park, which is the largest one in the United States. The glacier is receding 60 feet every year and has been doing so since the American Revolution. I also learned that the ice that looks blue is glacial ice; however, some areas look white, which means that the ice is softer and is melting. It was impressive to see.

We also rode the Mount Roberts Tramway up to the top (and back, of course)--up 1800 feet. There was a trail to go walk around up there, as well as the usual gift shop, restaurant, etc. That's when the sun came out, and everything was beautiful!

It was a wonderful day to end our time in Alaska.

Now I will not have access to phone service or a computer on the ferry, so I will not be posting (except for the pre-scheduled posts I put here before I left on this trip) until we are in Bellingham. Possibly I will be able to post some Alaska pictures on CB's parents' computer.

Love by Carlo Carretto

Let us keep this truth before us.
You say have no faith?
Love -- and faith will come.
You say you are sad?
Love -- and joy will come.
You say you are alone?
Love -- and you will break out of your solitude.
You say you are in hell?
Love -- and you will find yourself in heaven.
Heaven is love.

~~Carlo Carretto

Source: In Search of the Beyond

From Inward/Outward. Subscribe here.

This is an email service sponsored by Church of the Saviour in Washington, D.C., which Gordon and Mary Cosby founded in the early 1940's.

Juneau!

We are finally seeing mountains (in Alaska, of all places)! Friday we took the train to Anchorage, and on Saturday we took the train to Seward and back. That's where we saw mountains and glaciers! (I have always wanted to see a glacier.) I learned that there are over 100,000 glaciers in Alaska!

We took a boat tour in the drizzle in Resurection Bay and saw sea lions, dahl sheep, eagles, and six humpback whales who were bubble netting, which is has only been seen in two other places of the world. Usually humpback whales are more solitary, but these six were making noises and blowing bubbles in a circle in trapping the fish in the middle so one whale comes up and eats them; they continue in this pattern. You could tell that they were doing this because of the birds circling around trying to get fish--and we saw their tails.

Today we flew to Juneau and are amazed at the mountains surrounding this town. It increases in size by thousands when cruise ships come to town. There were four HUGE ones here today. This town reminds us of Bellingham in a way, but it has hills like San Francisco.

Tomorrow we are going to visit Mendenhall Glacier. On Tuesday we board the Alaska Ferry to Bellingham, which will arrive there on Friday morning.

If only. . . .

Why Bodhidharma Went to Howard Johnson's

"Where is your home," the interviewer asked him.

Here.

"No, no," the interviewer said, thinking it a problem of translation,
"when you are where you actually live."

Now it was his turn to think, perhaps the translation?

~ Jane Hirshfield ~

(The Wisdom Anthology of North American Buddhist Poetry)

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Follow Me

Do you hear what the music is saying?
"Come follow me and you will find the way.
Your mistakes can also lead you to the truth.
When you ask, the answer will be given."

~~Rumi

Rumi. Rumi: Hidden Music. Tr. Azima Melita Kolin and Maryam Mafi. Barnes and Noble, Inc. by arrangement with Harper Element, 2009. 182.

A Miracle!

Thanks to my friend Ron for sending this to me! He blogs at The Pelican Papers.

Denali!

We are in the Denali National Forest after eight hours on the Alaska Train. It has been beautiful, but raining and the further we went the more we saw clouds sinking down low. We should be able to see Mount McKinley (or Denali), but clouds shroud the hilltops. I asked the clerk at the gift shop when I bought postcards about that, and she said it was doubtful because it has been such a cool and wet summer. In fact, only 30% of the people coming here at this time of year see the mountain. Oh, well--I have postcard pictures, plus some photos of mine that show lovely shots of rivers and gorges. Someday I will be able to connect the camera to download them and I'll post some pictures.

We are going out on the Talkeetna River in the morning and then will explore the little town before catching the Alaska Train again, heading to Anchorage tomorrow night. For pictures of what it looks like when it is not cloudy, go here.

CB and I are having a good time together. It is cool, pretty, and green here.

Create in Us a Passion for Truth

True God of true God, create in us a passion for truth. Make us lust for, long for, taste, feel, roll in the grass of your love, your truth. Free us from the fear of truth by making us God-fearers. May we hate all that which would tempt us to settle for the greatest of all lies, the half-truth. So formed, give us simple speech, graceful speech, lovely speech, so that we might truthfully speak to one another, that we might love one another in truth. Honor us with honesty that we might be honorable and, thus, trustworthy people. Oh! We so long to be capable of trust. We are so tired, so bored, by our cynicism. So yes, dear Lord, we pray that you will make us truthful servants so that we may say to ourselves and one another, "You can trust me." Amen.

~~Stanley Hauerwas

Hauerwas, Stanley. Prayers Plainly Spoken. Downers Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press, 1999. 103

Watch those emails!

Fairbanks!

Yesterday CB and I flew to Seattle and had a lovely dinner with daughters AE and KA as well as our good friends Terry and Dennis. This morning Dennis took us to the airport so we could fly to Alaska!

We are staying at the Minnie Street Bed and Breakfast in Fairbanks. With the forecast for rain during our entire stay, we were pleased to arrive to sunshine and temperatures in the upper 70s F. It started to drizzle after dinner tonight and continues to lightly rain as it is staying bright into the night.

We passed into another time zone west of Seattle, so we are now three hours ahead of TX time. It is currently 9:30 pm and quite bright outside. I'll probably go to sleep before it gets dark tonight.

I'm so glad friends are still looking at my blog. Pictures will come when I can hook up the camera to the computer; it looks impossible here.

God makes his home in you

God makes his home in you. They are not empty words. It is true. "Make your home in me, as I make mine in you." This is prayer. Isn't this the answer to all our yearning, our searching, our anguish, to all the longing, the incompleteness of our lives and of our loving? Until we dwell in him and allow him to dwell in us we shall be strangers to peace.

~~Mother Frances Dominica

Peace Prayers: Meditations, Affirmations, Invocations, Poems, and Prayers for Peace. San Francisco: Harper San Francisco, 1992. 59.

Our Alaska Trip

Look at the map, and you will see where we will go on our Alaska trip!

1.Fairbanks: We fly from Seattle to Fairbanks.

2. See the train tracks that connect Fairbanks to Anchorage? We're taking the Denali Star to the Denali National Park where we will spend the night.

3. Anchorage: From Denali, we'll take the train to Anchorage

4. Seward: We'll have a day trip to Seward from Anchorage via the train. We'll go there in the morning and spend six hours in Seward and then take the train back to Anchorage.

5. Juneau: We'll fly from Anchorage to Juneau

6. From Juneau we'll take the Alaskan Ferry to Bellingham, WA and will stay in a room like this:

And all the time we are gone, our dear friend Maria is going to live at our house and take care of our three dogs and one cat!

Remember that I have posts scheduled to come up during our trip. I also hope to find a computer here and there to give you updates on our time in Alaska!

I am excited!

I am excited about our trip, of course, and today I am excited that I have officially lost 30 pounds at Weight Watchers in the last ten months!




And now I am hoping I will still be aware and conscious during the trip and not follow my usual vacation indulging extravaganza. Instead, enjoy the scenery and the family and friends.

I keep on blogging. . . .

by Dave Coverly

In an obsessive sort of way, I prepared for our trip to Alaska by pre-posting quotes, cartoons, and thoughts. So I hope you will continue to look at my blog every day to see what I put ahead of time. I am not sure how often or when I will have computer access, but if I do, I'll try to post a picture or two of the beautiful scenery in addition to the pre-planned stuff.

A GOOD recipe!

Heirloom Baking with the Brass Sisters is such a fun cookbook. These sisters collected and perfected old family recipes from "family cookbooks, original journals, scraps of paper, and grandmothers' kitchens." I love my mother's recipes best, so I enjoy looking through this cookbook with its sublime old-fashioned recipes and stories to go along with each one.

For a friend's birthday, I baked Frosted Pan Hermits, which are moist and luscious:

Frosted Pan Hermits

For Hermits:
1 1/2 cups flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. cloves
(1/2 tsp. nutmeg, which I do NOT like, so I substituted 1/4 tsp. allspice)
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 cup plus 2 Tbsp. butter
1 cup brown sugar
1 egg
1/2 cup milk
1 cup raisins
1 cup chopped walnuts or pecans

For frosting:
2/3 cup confectioners' sugar
1/8 tsp. salt
1 Tbsp. butter
1 tsp. vanilla
2-6 tsp. milk, as needed (I used about 2 Tbsp.)

1. Set the oven rack in the middle position. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line a 9 inch by 13 inch jelly roll pan (or other pan) with foil, shiny side up. Coat the foil with butter or vegetable spray.

2. To make the hermits: Sift together the dry ingredients.

3. Cream butter and brown sugar in the bowl of a standing mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. (I did all this by hand and later with a whisk.) Add egg. Add sifted dry ingredients alternately with milk. Fold the raisins and nuts into the batter.

4. Pour batter onto pan and spread until even. Bake 25 to 30 minutes, or until a tester inserted into the middle comes out clean. Turn once during baking. Place pan on rack Frost while warm.

5. To make the frosting: Sift confectioners' sugar and salt into a bowl. Add butter and whisk until combined. Add vanilla and enough milk to form a thin frosting. Pour frosting gently over warm pan and spread evenly. Allow to set. When completely cool, cut into squares. Store hermits in single layers between sheets of wax paper in a covered tin.

(If the frosting seems lumpy, it will melt when it is applied to the warm hermits. The frosting may crackle on top, too.)

Brass, Marilynn and Brass, Sheila. Heirloom Baking with the Brass Sisters. NY: Black Dog and Leventhal Publishers, 2006. 72-73.

Friday Five: Pets or not?

My friend Judy told a group of friends last week that her beloved hermit crab Al died. She missed Al--after six years of his company, even though she was not sure how pronounced his personality was or if he had one!

With the chewing exploits of our third dog, puppy Maisie, I am wondering about the pets we presently own and have had in the past.What about you? Tell us about the animals in your lives. If you have no pets, give examples of friends' pets or imaginary ones!

1. Did you grow up with pets?
We always had a cocker spaniel. When I was very little we had black Inky. Then when I was in elementary school, we had black Licorice. When I was in high school we had a blonde cocker named Toffee, who had four puppies. My parents kept the the smallest one called "Little Girl."

2. Do you have any pets now?
Three dogs: 14 year old blonde cocker spaniel Baillie; approximately 5 year old mixed shepherd Cisco; and 8 month old Lab mix Maisie.
One cat: gray and furry Gracie

3. What is the funniest or worst thing any of your pets have ever done?
Lately, it was Maisie chewing and pulling off material from the loveseat; the picture is here.

When I was about 4 years old, I remember running to my mother to tell her that Inky had the mumps! Inky had chewed up the nylon sleeves on one of my dresses, to which she was obviously allergic.

4. Who is/was your favorite pet?
I loved our reddish cocker spaniel Bagel, who grew up with our first three kids until we had to put her to sleep. She was completely blind and deaf and would not move, just cry in one place. That was so sad.

I also loved Licorice, BJ's big black Lab, who was put to sleep a few years ago. I am hoping that Maisie will grow into as sweet a dog as Licorice was as she aged.

5. How did you train your different pets?
The only success I've had is housebreaking the dogs. I'm not very good at training, though they learn what "stay" means. Maisie knows what "crate" signifies and goes into her crate when we leave home. (When she was left out, she would chew and strip off the wallpaper in the laundry room.)

It is hopeful that Maisie and I are going to an 8-week training class starting on August 18.

BONUS: Pictures of a pet or one you wish you could have.

Thank You to my Friends

18th anniversary

My mother at Chuckanut Park in Bellingham, WA
approximately 1988

My mother died 18 years ago today. Somehow her dying at 72 has me looking at that age for me as a landmark--that's in 12 more years (plus a few months).

For some birthday my daughter AE made a collage of family pictures, and this is one of them in the frame. We would visit in Bellingham every summer, and my mother and I would take the kids to various parks on outings in the much cooler weather. Those are good memories.

Today AE also sent me a quote that is poignant:

"When anybody, no matter how old they are, loses a parent, I think it hurts the same as if you were only five years old, you know? I think all of us are always five years old in the presence and absence of our parents."

- Sherman Alexie, The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian

I treasure memories of my mother, as well as the times I now have with my children. I am glad that I will see AE soon (in Seattle).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
July 14 is a special date for me, partly because I have three friends with birthdays on this day. One I will see while I'm in Seattle: On the day that my mother died, JJ cried out, "Not on my birthday!" But I like birthdays today, which I always love to celebrate.

If YOU have a July 14 birthday, let me know!

Doggy Pictures

Maisie and Cisco like to take naps in these locations, but I woke them up when I got the camera out. You can see various spots on the chair and table where Maisie has chewed.

After a hot day working at Habitat for Humanity, where CB works four days each week, CB is down on the floor playing with Maisie and trying to placate Cisco.

Decisions, decisions, decisions. . . .

CB and I are starting to make decisions about what we want to do in Fairbanks, Anchorage, and Juneau. Which tour, which path, which way to go?

As we ready for our big trip, other thoughts flutter around:

• I've met for a Monday lunch with three friends since 1995. Last week DHT was telling us how her elderly father is so much fun that his grandchildren love to do things with him. Then everyone decided that we need to be "FUN" people; but I am not that type of extroverted person. Today when I voiced that doubt, the others told me I was a good listener and was interested in all sorts of things, so I'd be okay. (whew!)

• The Wisdom Class finishes Into the Silent Land by Martin Laird tomorrow. We will not meet again until after Labor Day. For the first time in years, we will take a long break. In this time, I need to decide upon our next book; I am seriously considering The Case for God by Karen Armstrong, which comes out in a paperback edition in September.

• I signed Maisie up for a training class that will meet for eight weeks starting on August 18. That will be good for both of us!

• Even with the Kindle, I'll be taking too many books on our trip to Alaska. There are a few I want to finish and then leave with AE and KA. My friend PD gave me some interesting books about Alaska that will be good to read. It is always my tendency to bring along an excess of books, as if there are no bookstores anywhere I am going. . . .

• CB's 60th birthday will occur while we are on the ferry from Juneau to Bellingham. It will not be a big celebration, and he doesn't seem to care, which is good. It is odd to me not to be baking him his usual chocolate cake.

• I typed up the short section about pain from chapter 6 in Into the Silent Land. I emailed it as an attachment to several people I know who are suffering. If anyone is interested in receiving that, please email me and I will send it to you.
  

Meditate~~Shine

Great Buddha in Kamakura, Japan

I went looking for a picture of the Great Buddha in Kamakura, Japan, because I visited there many times when we lived in Japan in the 1960's. Somewhere in storage are slides or pictures taken of me as a middle school student (which was called "junior high" back then) standing in front of the statue, probably along with many other students.

I wanted to highlight a quote from the Buddha, which was a Wisdom Class meditation a few weeks ago. I think it highlights how to live. Plus, a member of the class told us how her daughter-in-law, who is a physician, shines (with an inner glow) whenever she enters a room.

Meditate.
Live purely. Be quiet.
Do your work with mastery.
Like the moon, come out
from behind the clouds!
Shine.

~~The Buddha

Our trip starts next Sunday!

A week from today we will leave for our Alaska trip. We'll fly from Seattle to Fairbanks. From Fairbanks we'll take a train to Anchorage, which goes through the Denali National Forest. We'll also take a train from Anchorage to Seward and back. Then from Anchorage we will fly to Juneau. (And from Juneau we'll take an Alaskan ferry to Bellingham, WA, our hometown.)

Pictures of Our Wednesday Trip

DC and AA behind the Eastside Cafe

On Wednesday we went to Austin to see DC and AA for DC's birthday. We had a wonderful lunch at one of our favorite Austin restaurants, the Eastside Cafe, which has its own garden and chicken yards, with pictures telling who the roosters and hens are.

Before driving to Austin, we stopped and saw MJ at Trinity University. We visited with her major professor, who remembers AE also being her student, and walked through the lab. The lab and spectrometer brought back memories of CB's college days and work life before retirement. It is interesting that both our daughters majored in Chemistry (like their dad) for their undergraduate degrees.

MJ kindly let me take her picture, even though I embarrassed her by doing so in front of her fellow lab workers.

AA took a picture of DC with CB and me, in back of the Eastside Cafe:

Jan, DC and CB

As we drove closer and closer to Corpus Christi, the clouds got darker and more forbidding. These were bands of rain from the tropical depression that brought rain to us that night and the next day.

Graduate?

by Bruce Tinsley, the conservative political cartoonist

Unfortunately, this seems to be my philosophy and I am much older than the guy pictured--so imagine a lady with white hair up there!

Oh, those papers. . . . after Alaska!

Maisie's Latest Chewing Endeavor

Unfortunately, out loveseat is Maisie's latest chewing desire. This has been going on for the last week or so, and we have not been able to stop her. She rarely is left in this room without supervision now. She has various chew toys to choose from, but this seems to be her favorite. No other dog we have ever had has chewed on upholstered furniture before. We are not happy.

Free Us from Self-Fascination

Lord Almighty, we say we want to serve you, we say we want to help others less fortunate than ourselves, we say we want justice. But the truth is, we want power and status because we so desperately need to be loved. Free us from our self-fascination and the anxious activity it breeds, so that we might be what we say we want to be--loved by you and thus capable of unselfish service. Amen.

~~Stanley Hauerwas

Hauerwas, Stanley. Prayers Plainly Spoken. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1999. 49.

Jesus Heals

Fear

When I suffered from clinical depression for years in the 1990s, I also was afflicted with anxiety, sometimes even panic attacks. At the time I thought all this was caused by me not having enough faith and maybe because I did not pray "right." How much I needed to learn!

Only in hindsight do I see how God worked through all this time to grow my faith, my marriage and my family relationships. As Martin Laird writes in his book Into the Silent Land:

"Certainly there is deep conversion, healing, and unspeakable wholeness to be discovered along the contemplative path. The paradox, however, is that this healing is revealed when we discover that our wound and the wound of God are one wound." (118)

This is true, even though I did not venture on the "contemplative path" until this new century. Since 1995, I keep encountering "deep conversion, healing, and unspeakable wholeness" continuing to reveal themselves in me. All this confirms my favorite quote (which loosely is) "The closer you come to God, the closer you come to your true self" by Thomas Merton.

"From Victim to Witness: Practicing with Affliction," the sixth chapter in Laird's book gives three different stories of people who journeyed through fear, pain and addiction to discover each (person) was not the drama but had been caught into the morass of feelings and thoughts surrounding the object of emotion, pain or addiction. It is like the mountain not identifying with its weather conditions, as described in this post.

Here is Laird's example about fear:

"Laura's transforming encounter with fear reveals not the disappearance of fear but the disappearance of struggling with fear. Fear remains present, but she is not afraid of fear. The struggle with any afflictive thought or feeling is the result of the noisy chatter of the mind. This chattering, commenting mind turns the simple experience of any thought or feeling into an experience of grasping or fleeing. When this mental chatter is brought to stillness, the struggle relaxes and the nature of fear is seen to be different from what we previously thought. As (Meister) Eckhart put it, 'what was previously an obstacle to you is now a great help.' Fear as affliction is transformed into fear as vehicle of Presence." (102-103)

(Remember that the word "fear" can be substituted with "any afflictive thought or feeling" such as anger, jealousy, addiction, inadequacy, etc.)

Meditation or contemplative prayer consistently practiced will help us greatly.

Laird, Martin. Into the Silent Land: A Guide to the Christian Practice of Contemplation. Oxford: University Press, 2006.

Our first baby 31 years ago

CB and DC

July 6 is a happy day for our family!

Do you ever notice that I am the one who takes most of the pictures?

Gay Marriage in Iceland

Johanna Sigurdardottir, Iceland Prime Minister

In early June Iceland unanimously passed a gay marriage bill (49-0) introduced in March.

"Iceland's prime minister made history last week when she wed her longtime girlfriend, becoming the world's first head of government to enter a gay marriage.

"But fellow Nordic nations hardly noticed when 67-year-old Johanna Sigurdardottir tied the knot with her longtime partner — a milestone that would still, despite advances in gay rights, be all but inconceivable elsewhere.

"Scandinavia has had a long tradition of tolerance — and cross-dressing lawmakers and gay bishops have become part of the landscape.

"'There is some kind of passion for social justice here,' respected cross-dressing Swedish lawmaker Fredrick Federley said. 'That everybody should be treated the same.'

"Gay rights activists said Europe in general has a better record on accepting gays at the highest levels of government than the United States."

Read the rest of the article here.

I applaud Iceland and wish their wisdom would drift down to the southwest.

Dig-Free Fence?

If you have been reading my blog for awhile, you know that our two youngest dogs Cisco and Maisie like to dig under the fence--to freedom. Ever since Maisie arrived, Cisco has been showing her how to do it! We've placed bricks to stop up the holes, sometimes belatedly.

Today my wonderful and diligent husband CB spent hours before church and after, digging, moving bricks and nailing fence boards to the bottom of our fence. It is hot and humid and felt like it was 100 F. degrees most of the day.

You can see how thrifty CB is--he used an old fence board (that he replaced) on the bottom of the fence to the left. Below is where he took it!

This was the major opening for the dogs' last escape. You can see how the boards start to rot and then the dogs chew and push at the bottoms.

It was so hot today that I was able to hang two different loads of clothes on the clothesline, this one being the second at 2 pm, when I had already taken in the first load (dried) inside to fold.

Maisie is looking through a knothole at CB talking to our next door neighbor on the other side of the fence. This is another "skill" she learned from Cisco!

Happy 4th of July!

Declare Independence!

I subscribe to Waverly Fitzgerald's "Calendar Companion"; her blogs are School of the Seasons and Living in Season. I liked her short writing on "Declare Independence" so much that I asked her if I could quote her on my blog, and she agreed!

You must learn one thing,

The world was made to be free in.

Give up all the other worlds

Except the one to which you belong.

~~David Whyte

"Where are you feeling trapped by your schedule, by your commitments and obligations? This is your week to stand up for your freedom, for finding the world in which you belong.

"Now, of course, some of you are saying, "But I have to go to work" (although most of you have that extra day of leisure) and some of you are saying "my children must go to piano lessons" and "the meals have to be cooked" and that means "someone has to do the shopping."

"Really look at your life this week. What are you doing that you do merely because you feel you must? (Or else it won't get done!) Take the week off from that chore or that obligation. At work, don't make a new pot of coffee. At home, don't do the laundry.

Barbara Sher, the author of Wishcraft, calls this the "love showdown." She suggests that for one week you give up one half-hour activity that you do every day for others and replace it with something you love to do, like reading or needlework or gardening or maybe just along stroll. If anyone asks you why, just tell them that you're taking the week off to celebrate freedom."

Thank you, Waverly.

Please go and visit her at her sites linked above.

Together

Can you see the cataracts in Baillie's eyes? She also is mostly deaf. I guess this comes with old age, as she is almost 14 years old.

Baillie is in the crate we originally bought for Maisie, not realizing how big she would grow. This crate fit into the space in the laundry room near the larger crate that we long ago bought for son BJ's lab Licorice, who has since died. This crate has a door on two sides--the one where Baillie's head hangs out and the other on the end on the left.

Now Baillie likes to sleep in this crate. But in the mornings when she wakes up, CB says that she cannot find the way out. She seems to be confused and sleepy. CB has to guide her out and also in the direction of the backdoor so she will go outside.

Baillie circling around the crate, unable to find her way out, reminds me of a story that Martin Laird relates in his book Into the Silent Land. This is the story I posted here--about the dog who ran around in circles on his long walks, only because he had been kept in a cage when he was young and did not realize his present reality--freedom.

CB helping Baillie find the way out of the crate is an example of how friends (or community) offer an alternative view or path to go--in companionship. Of course, this is the ideal of community, which was beautifully discussed by RevGalBlogPals envisioning the future church today (if you click on the links in the comments section).

We help each other. . . . together.

Rain from Alex and Baking a Cake!

Hurricane Alex hit landfall in Mexico. We are getting bands of rain showers off and on. I just took a picture of the backyard to show you how another tree branch fell down in one of the storms. You may recall from the other storm that the far branch leaned over the wires. I was grateful that CB cut off the rest of the overhang just as the rains started yesterday.

You can see where he cut the branches by looking in the middle of the tree and also by comparing the tree to the pictures I posted one month ago. The remnants of the tomato plants have fallen over the bench. You can also see CB's handy work in replacing rotting boards on the deck.
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I spent the morning baking a carrot cake for my friend LT. She and I have been friends since we attended La Leche League meetings together before (and after) our first children were born, which is 31 years now! Later we both became La Leche League Leaders. I was so shocked when we first knew each other that her husband did not give her a birthday cake for her birthday that I started baking her a carrot cake each year.

With her sister and her three children visiting from Lubbock, LT said this would be a good time to get such a big cake. I'll be taking it over to her house soon, between rain showers.

Sex Trade

An article on Human Trafficking brings my attention back to a movie we recently rented on Netflix: Trade starring Kevin Kline.


The only reason I ordered it was Kevin Kline, as we like his acting and acting choices.

The movie turned out to be eye-opening and emotional; it is truly a terrible story. A young Mexican gangster is trying to find his kidnapped 13-year old sister, eventually with the help of a police officer played by Kevin Kline. The movie is a must see, but not because it will make you feel good. It is as dark and disturbing a film as you will see and yet reveals an all too real evil in our world.

The above mentioned article states:

"The report (2010 Trafficking in Persons Report) also indicates that U.S. citizens are more likely to be victims of sexual trafficking, as opposed to labor trafficking. Of these, child victims are often runaways and homeless. A 2001 study from the University of Pennsylvania estimated that almost 300,000 U.S. children are at risk of being forced into the sex trade."

This article ends with:

More information on human trafficking is available at the following:

U.S. Dept. of State Office to Monitor & Combat Trafficking in Persons.

U.S. Dept. of Justice Child Exploitation & Obscenities Section.

“The Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children in the U.S., Canada and Mexico”, Richard J. Estes and Neil Alan Weiner. University of Pennsylvania School of Social Work. 2001.

“Playground: The Child Sex Trade in America,” documentary directed by Libby Spears.

“Thoughts Upon Slavery,” John Wesley (1774).

"U.S. reports 'serious problem' with trafficking," (United Methodist News Service, June 24)

This is an important issue I know I need to learn more about. And pray about, especially with the help of the Ho'opono Cleansing Prayer.
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MomPriest wrote in the comments below:

"This is one of the biggest concerns with immigration legistlation. The desert of southern Arizona is littered with the remnants of this issue called, "rape trees" - literally trees where the woman (usually) was tied up and raped and left for dead, her clothes flung into the branches above. It's awful."

That brings it closer to home. Thanks, MomPriest for writing.