Memories

Today, April 24, is a day that holds many memories for me. Since it was my mother's birthday, I always remember her; in fact, this day causes me to recall more events than for just this day, because she died in 1992 when she was 73.

With my mother's wise, curious and creative personality, I had a wonderful parent and more of a friend as I became an adult. We were very close, partly because I was her only child. My love of learning, love for books and baking are from her.

When my mother was dying of pancreatic cancer in the summer of 1992, we celebrated our oldest son DC's 13th birthday up in Bellingham. DC acted disappointed with his birthday, which is perfectly understandable for an adolescent boy to feel with no friends around and far away from his home. I have felt sad for his disappointment for these past 20 years, and then today I described that birthday to him over the phone--AND DC does not remember that birthday at all! I am relieved that he hasn't harbored regret or resentment over the years.

This makes me notice how we remember events with higher emotional content than ordinary, everyday occurrences. I just read that either great joy or grief cause impressions on our memories.

• Emotionally charged events are remembered better
• Pleasant emotions are usually remembered better than unpleasant ones
• Positive memories contain more contextual details (which in turn, helps memory)
• Strong emotion can impair memory for less emotional events and information experienced at the same time
• It's the emotional arousal, not the importance of the information, that helps memory
• Found at Mempowered: Powering Your Memory and Mind.

I am glad that DC did not carry emotionally charged memories for his 13th birthday. I obviously did, but they helped me to remember that day more clearly. That is a benefit now, so many years later. Plus, now the memory will also be colored with gratitude.

I have always liked to remember birthdays. Just today I was wishing I knew someone else with my mother's birthday, but I didn't until I looked at Facebook! FB "reminded" me of a young woman's birthday today, which I will treasure from now on. She is the wife of DC's best friend growing up. His best friend knew my mother, too, so this is a dear connection.

April 24 is a good and special day for me, for which I am glad.