God's in control

While writing my talk for the All Saints Episcopal Church women's luncheon, I kept seeing that I didn't see God, but God was in charge! One example was prayer, and how God brings forth praxis, while things I try to control often don't happen.

I had to leave for the church at 11 today, so I had lots of time to refine and revise my talk. After hanging clothes out on the clothesline, I set the timer for 45 minutes at 9:15 to sit with God. The phone rang with someone asking my 17 year old daughter MJ to be on the express soccer team, which will excite her very much. (Though she's away at a camp in the hill country of Texas, near Leakey, so she won't hear about it for awhile. Her cell phone doesn't work in the canyon there.) It was 10:30, and I hadn't pushed "start" on the timer of the microwave! I'd prayed/meditated/centered (whatever) for over an hour! What a surprise.

I kept chuckling afterwards, because God arranged for me to NOT obsess about what I was going to say! I had to surrender and let go, even about time. Thank you.

The talk went well. Someone told me I was "authentic" and a dear, older woman told me I should become a priest! Several people shared about their own experiences with depression and/or suicide. I feel much more connected. And my friend Margie came, too, even though she belongs to a different church. I am blessed by people I so foolishly think don't care! (That's the trap of self-idolatry I periodically fall into, but somewhat less often these days.)