Friday Five: Independence Day Edition

In honor of the 237th anniversary of the adoption of the Declaration of Independence, I invite you to participate in today's Independence Day edition of the Friday Five! We'll be looking at all kinds of "independence," so please join in!

1. How does one typically celebrate your native /adopted land's Big National Holiday?
Parades and fireworks in the evening. Many people put out American flags in front of their houses. Barbecues are popular.

2. How do you personally celebrate the holiday described in #1? Any unusual twists on the typical celebration? Is it something you enjoy or endure?
Even though I grew up on U. S. Navy and Marine bases, my family did not observed July the 4th in big ways. There were usually parades, but we didn't always attend. Bases (until this year with sequester financial cuts) usually have good fireworks displays.

The hottest and most typical of south Texas 4th of July's was 34 years ago. That was my first complete summer in TX (after moving here from the Pacific Northwest; I was extremely pregnant; and neighbors had a sparsely attended barbecue in the neighborhood park. I remember driving by in the heat, glad I wasn't there as our first child was a week "late." (He was born two days later.)


The best July 4 was spent at the beach at Port Hueneme Naval Base with my friend Nancy and her family to watch the fireworks there. Being a teenager with my best friend and her family was lots of fun.

3. What does the word "independence" mean to you, whether in a political or personal mood? How has that understanding changed throughout your life?
Independence denotes freedom. Perhaps at first was freedom from parents; much later having children leave home, there is a sort of freedom (or loss). 

I think we always find that we are dependent upon others for services, help, and affection. True independence would seem to be an isolated life, so independence must be looked upon as freedom from certain things.

4. When did you first feel that you, personally, had gained independence? Was there a 'rite of passage' you would like to share?
I am still pondering this.

5. Tell us about your favorite "indie" film, music label, book store...
I love independent bookstores and usually find special ones wherever I travel. In Austin, TX I like Book People; in Salt Lake City The King's English; in Seattle Elliott Bay Book Company. This summer on vacation in August, I'll get to go to the latter two, plus amazingly large Powell's in Portland, OR!

The only independent book store in Corpus Christi, TX is Rainbow Books, a lovely children's book store run by an elderly couple. It is quite near my house and has existed ever since I had small children. Now I buy books there for Avery!

Happy 4th of July!

Illustration by Bess Bruce Cleaveland (1925)

 

 

With thanks to Good Books for Young Souls. Go there to read about the young girls who helped to make the flag that flew over Fort McHenry in Baltimore, MD, which is the flag that Francis Scott Keyes saw and was inspired by to write "The Star-Spangled Banner."

Master's Degree in Theology??

When I went to the 2013 Summer Institute at Oblate School of Theology a few weeks ago, I felt very nostalgic walking the halls of the Theology Building. When I walked around the second floor, where many of my classes had been held, I found this wreath on an office door.

The wreath was to honor Father Heemrood, who had been a professor of Old Testament for decades. He was a knowledgeable and very kind man. Fr. Heemrood died several months ago.

I was greatly touched that this small seminary would honor one of their professors in this way. It fits with the Hispanic culture of San Antonio, TX.

Taking this picture with my new Iphone prompted me to show it to the Dean of Continuing Education at the dinner that night. She had been a fellow student with me when I first began attending Oblate in 2001.

I always hate to intrude upon people, especially those in charge of major events, at such busy times. But discussing Father Heemrood brought our discussion around to past professors and our families, plus all the additions to the OST campus.

Suddenly Rose asked me if I had ever graduated and whether I had had enough classes to do so. I replied that I had enough classes, but that too much time had passed, so I did not think I was eligible to finish my degree plan--for a Master's in Theology. However, she reassured me that it might be possible and tht she would broach the subject with the Dean.

All that happened this past week, so that I was scheduled to call the Academic Dean on Monday morning. When I did so, he was kind and attentive, asking some questions and commenting on my academic record. Then he offered an extension for me to finish the final papers (a thesis or three scholarly papers) by May 2014!

All this was totally unexpected and almost unbelievable (from my perspective)! Until this happened, I thought I had given up the idea of finishing this degree, being content to appreciate all I had learned in the process of attending those many classes where I drove to San Antonio from Corpus Christi once or twice a week. Out of the blue, this seemed to come about. I find it amazing.

So by the end of the month, I need to have topics to present to the Academic Dean. I've already been assured by RevGal friends that they are praying for me. I am also praying for assistance, even though I already have seen evidence of assistance towards this goal.

Galship With RevGalsBlogPals

Over at RevGalsBlogPals, the blogging community for women in ministry and those who support women in ministry, we're hosting a July Blog Carnival to celebrate some changes and expansion in the blog site!

From the site: This week's blog carnival topic is: What does Galship mean to you? The phrase was originally coined to refer to RevGal Fellowship--all the ways we build community, share our lives, support each other, and have fun. So blog about Galship--have you had an experience of galship in person or online? Has galshipping changed your life or ministry? what's your favorite part of our galship? Or whatever way you understand the question--there are no wrong answers! What does Galship mean to you?

"Galship" began for me when I started blogging in 2007, following the example of minister friend Katherine, whom I had met at the Two Year Spiritual Formation Academy. She had been in my covenant group all two years, and we had become good friends. Blogging with her at Meaning and Authenticity kept us in closer contact. Through her, I first learned about RevGalsBlogPals. I was pleased that I didn't have to be an ordained minister to become a member--just a blogger for three months! When that time went by, I applied and met wonderful people connected to this amazing group.

Meeting: 

I met Diane and her husband when I went to an Episcopal Relief and Development (2008) in cold Minneapolis, where her husband took a picture of us together.  I didn't get to meet Scout, but got Scout's hair all over my black winter coat!

I also met Serena near Seattle in 2007 and here is that picture. We got to visit relatives in Seattle and Bellingham, WA every summer, but I haven't gotten to see Serena since that one time. Good intentions conflict with the amount of time available, which is even less this summer.

It is wonderful; to meet blogging friends for the first time and feel like we already know each other. Being an introvert, that is helpful for me!

Camaraderie: 

Through visiting blogs and participating in such events as Friday Fives, I have gotten to know many RevGals and have found amazing connections. And I love finding recommendations for books to read, especially theological and mystery categories.

Ministry and Spirituality:

I've gained ideas for growth AND for blogging. Mompriest at Seeking Authentic Voice brought forth the wonderful idea of the ABC's of Gratitude, which enriched my life with posts for each letter of the alphabet. It was fun to find a different graphic for each letter.

I also appreciate the opportunities to have a special day to provide prayers and once a month to bring forth a Friday Five for RevGals.  

Support:

Problems shared and prayers requested always get responses. And I am ready to ask for more support and prayers, which I will more fully blog about tomorrow:

After some years of inactivity for completing my Master's Degree in Theology from the Oblate School of Theology, I have been granted an extension to write the final papers BY May 2014. What stumped me before was choosing topics (as everything seems to interest me). I ask you to pray for inspiration for the topics of three scholarly papers that I may declare them in the next month!

I last wrote about it and thought of it in 2010 and then decided not to ever pursue it, partly because my health declined around then until I was diagnosed with RA and eventually got on the two medicines that are controlling the pain and symptoms.

Friday Five: Five Favorites

Deb offers today's Friday Five for RevGalBlogPals:

1. Five flowers you'd like in a bouquet or in your garden:


Lilies, pansies, daffodils, tulips, bluebonnets. (Outside in TX, only pansies and bluebonnets grow at cooler and moister times.)

2. Five books you want to read (or re-read):

These are all books I already have, some of which I've started but not finished. I am eagerly awaiting the next Louise Penny mystery and any Maisie Dobbs mysteries that may come in the future. . .and. . . and. . .


Facing the Dragon: Confronting Personal and Spiritual Grandiosity by Robert L. Moore
(This was a book recommended by Father Ron Rolheiser at the 2013 Summer Institute which I mentioned in last Friday's FF. It is by a Jungian analyst and professor.)


The Round House by Louise Erdrich

All the Harry Potter books by J. K Rowling (for the third or fourth time)

 My Bright Abyss: Meditation of a Modern Believer by Christian Wiman

Lincoln's Melancholy: How Depression Challenged a President and Fueled His Greatness by Joshua Wolf Shenk

3. Five places you want to visit:

So many more than five!

US:
Boston, Chicago, Santa Fe, San Diego, Marfa (TX)

Elsewhere:
Greece, Spain again, Galapagos, Australia/New Zealand, Italy


4. Five people you'd invite for tea/coffee/beer and pizza:

My mother, her/my cousin Margaret from Calgary, Canada, my mother's mother (my Nana) and her two sisters (the Aunties) to have tea and yummy cookies. This family is known for its baking, so it would be fun to use my English bone china and have tea and goodies with them and learn so much about family history I don't know. I'd love to see them together, too.


5. Five chores or tasks you'd gladly give to someone else:

Cleaning out closets, sweeping, washing windows, cleaning the refrigerator, cleaning bathtub

BONUS: A five ingredient recipe! (This is harder than it sounds!)

COTTAGE CHEESE PANCAKES

1/2 cup flour or rolled oats
1 cup cottage cheese or tofu
4 eggs
1/3 cup milk, approximately
1/4 tsp. salt

Combine all ingredients except milk in blender and process at a medium speed until smooth. Add milk until batter is like medium-thick pancake batter. Bake as for ordinary pancakes.

Serve hot with fresh fruit, jam, hot applesauce or butter and cinnamon-sugar. (My family prefers the melted butter and cinnamon sugar.

(This recipe is from my old, well-used copy of Whole Foods for the Whole Family published by La Leche League International in 1981.)

DOMA Is Unconstitutional

Life Is God's Chess Game

What is the difference
Between your experience of Existence
And that of a saint?

The saint knows
That the spiritual path
Is a sublime chess game with God

And that the Beloved
Has just made such a Fantastic Move

That the saint is now continually
Tripping over Joy
And bursting out in Laughter
And saying, "I Surrender!"

Whereas, my dear,
I am afraid you still think

You have a thousand serious moves.
~Hafiz

Ladinsky, Daniel. I Heard God Laughing: Renderings of Hafiz. Point Richmond, CA: Paris Printing, 1996. 127

Can Christianity Be Saved?

Huffington Post recently featured an article by Diana Butler Bass asking "Can Christianity Be Saved?"

Bass points to the decline of mainline churches, including Roman Catholic, in the USA, but she positively points out:

"Unexpectedly, liberal Christianity is--in some congregations at least--undergoing renewal. A grass-roots affair to be sure, sputtering along in local churches, prompted by good pastors doing hard work and theologians mostly unknown to the larger culture. Some local congregations are growing, having seriously re-engaged practices of theological reflection, hospitality, prayer, worship, doing justice, and Christian formation. A recent study from Hartford Institute for Religion Research discovered that liberal congregations actually display higher levels of spiritual vitality than do conservative ones, noting that these findings were "counter-intuitive" to the usual narrative of American church life. 

"There is more than a little historical irony in this. A quiet renewal is occurring, but the denominational structures have yet to adjust their institutions to the recovery of practical wisdom that is remaking local congregations. And the media continues to fixate on big pastors and big churches with conservative followings as the center-point of American religion, ignoring the passion and goodness of the old liberal tradition that is once again finding its heart. Yet, the accepted story of conservative growth and liberal decline is a twentieth century tale, at odds with what the surveys, data, and best research says what is happening now. Indeed, I think that the better story of contemporary Christianity is that of an awakening of a more open, more inclusive, more spiritually vital faith is roiling and I argue for that in my recent book, Christianity After Religion."

Death and the Mundane

I remember special days for departed loved ones. Today would have been my father's 91st birthday. However, he died 11 years ago a few months shy of his 80th. That brought home the truth that we should celebrate each day and not just "landmark" events, such as decades. I had always thought we would have a family celebration for his 80th birthday, but he had a stroke four months earlier and died two weeks after that.

Here is a poem that points to that:

Notice

This evening, the sturdy Levi's
I wore every day for over a year
& which seemed to the end
in perfect condition,
suddenly tore.
How or why I don't know,
but there it was: a big rip at the crotch.
A month ago my friend Nick
walked off a racquetball court,
showered,
got into his street clothes,
& halfway home collapsed & died.
Take heed, you who read this,
& drop to your knees now & again
like the poet Christopher Smart,
& kiss the earth & be joyful,
& make much of your time,
& be kindly to everyone,
even to those who do not deserve it.
For although you may not believe
it will happen,
you too will one day be gone,
I, whose Levi's ripped at the crotch
for no reason,
assure you that such is the case.
Pass it on.

~ Steve Kowit ~

And on to my very ordinary life:

•  I am trying to walk at our local shopping mall each morning, as it is too hot outside here in south Texas. (We are having a long stretch of breaking high temperature records of the high 90s F.) 
• The last time I regularly walked there was when MJ was a baby 22 years go, and I walked around the mall with her in a sling. She and I enjoyed her being in the sling, from the time she was a new baby into toddlerhood.
• Thanks to the conference last week, I am meditating every day, even though it is not always for 20 minutes. I am grateful to our former rector Sandy who taught that even a few minutes is enough in prayer as God will grow the prayer. It is God's prayer, after all.
• For a little over a week I have had a fuzziness in my left eye. Fortunately, my right eye overrules and I can see pretty clearly. However, this makes it more of a chore to read, which is something I usually enjoy doing at any time. This has spurred me on to make an appointment for an eye exam in two weeks, which is ten years overdue.
• I made corn cheese muffins tonight to take to a meeting, since it's always held during dinner time. Chuck complimented me by saying that we need grandchildren around, as he's missed the aroma of freshly baked breads. I used to bake muffins and bread frequently when I had young children at home, and one or another of them would help me. I hope I'll get the opportunity to do that with Avery someday.
• We are reading The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg in the Wisdom Class at my church, which meets every Tuesday morning (though we'll take the month of August off). It is a very interesting book with excellent research about such events as Rosa Parks becoming the civil rights icon as compared to others who resisted black oppression on buses. Why do we remember her?
• Chuck likes to play Spider Solitaire on my computer, so sometimes he is here and I am not.

Poetry Is Worship With Words

Even in temples

Where residents vow never to talk,

And silence is worshiped,

There is sound.

There are songs.

There is poetry.

Memories incarnated,

Lifetimes pulled through a thousand minds,

Cadences bearing time,

Rhymes connecting life,

Stanzas stacked like the generations.

Those who follow Tao write poetry.

Read poetry.

Live poetry.

And enter Tao through its lines.

~From:  "Everyday Tao:  Living With Balance and Harmony" by Deng Ming-Dao

With thanks to Marion who posted this at Dragonfly's Poetry and Prolixity.

Friday Five: Prayer

At the beginning of this past week, I attended a conference on contemplative prayer entitled "Turning to the Mystics" at the 2013 Summer Institute at the Oblate School of Theology in San Antonio, TX. The speakers were James Finley, author and former novice of Thomas Merton; Mirabai Starr, author, translator, and speaker; and Father Ronald Rolheiser, author and president of OST. We were encouraged to regularly sit in quiet to come to realize our union with the Divine, who continually loves us into being.

So for this Friday Five, let us share about our prayer practices, whether silent or not:

1. How do you pray?
Little (flash) prayers throughout the day; prayers for loved ones and others at bedtime; silent prayer sometimes; breath prayers (repetitive short prayers).

2. How has your idea of prayer changed over time?
Like most people, my first idea of prayer was talking to God. There is nothing wrong with that, but in a relationship there needs to be listening, too. Learning about centering prayer through Thomas Keating brought me to try silent prayer which was furthered by reading, learning about Christ Centered Prayer and other forms of meditation.
I am coming to believe that feeling love for a person is a form of prayer, as is anything done in love.

3. Do you ever sit in silent prayer? How does it go?
I have an app on my Ipod and Iphone that is called "Equanimity" which is a timer for meditation which you can set yourself. It also keeps track of times of meditation. One time I had 93 straight days of continuous meditation, but I am rarely that consistent.

After attending that conference this week, I am nudged to meditate again each day. The ideal is twice a day, but my aim is at least once a day. I see that the encouragement of teachers, spiritual directors, prayer groups, and spiritual friends are essential for accountability and encouragement. 

4. Do you have any difficulties and/or pleasures in prayer?
Faithfulness is a problem for me. Monkey mind (many thoughts) plagues me.

Several things that James Finley told us at the conference help with those problems: 
We "abandon ourselves" when we stop the meditation, and we are "punitive" to ourselves when we say it wasn't good enough. And "Why do we treat ourselves like someone we don't want to be with?" Remember that "God loves us into being."

Pleasure: Facilitating and participating in a weekly lectio divina group for the past 15 years continues to reveal God's presence to me.


5. What is the best advice that helped you with prayer?
Sit for one minute faithfully, and God will grow the prayer.

Bonus: Share something about prayer or example of a prayer you like.

At the conference, Mary Earle who is an Episcopal Priest told us to to breath in thinking BREATHE and exhale IN ME.

Prayer

Ground of all being,
Mother of life,
Father of the universe,
Your name is sacred, beyond speaking.
May we know your presence,
May your longings be our longings
In heart and in action….—Casa del Sol prayer of Jesus

From Shalem Institute.

Appreciate Someone!

My daughter AE in Seattle sent me a link to an article by a mom about six important words to say to a child:

"I love to watch you ________________."

The author describes the feeling of love for another that is underneath our regard of others and how we should share that:

"When simply watching someone makes your heart feel as if it could explode right out of your chest, you really should let that person know."

This essay is about all people, not only children and their parents. I think this is important to read, so please go and read:

Six Words You Should Say Today!

I am glad I read this. It is from the blog Hands Free Mama.

Choosing One's Teachers. . . .

I am taking an online course on Dorothee Soelle with Jane Redmont this summer, which is just beginning. One of the books assigned is Soelle's autobiography Against the Wind: Memoir of a Radical Christian. I already had a copy and found that I had only read half the book long ago--which was in 1999, since Amazon could "tell" me when I purchased the book. So this past weekend I started reading this book from the first page, not remembering much at all.

Being a former elementary school teacher and someone who always wants to share what I learn, I was interested in Soelle's description of teachers in her chapter "Choosing One's Teachers. . . ."

". . . .I came to know what it means to have a teacher, an experience that appears to have become more and more rare. For what is a teacher? It is a human being who I myself have chosen. Initially, you do not become a teacher as a result of your knowledge and wisdom, but because someone has chosen you to be his or her teacher. The teacher who has been assigned to me must have something to teach, not just specific knowledge but also knowledge that transcends her or him personally. However, a teacher also needs more than a discerning mind, understanding, and knowledge: she must stand for something to testify something. From her/him it should be discernible what one ought to love and what one out to despise." (23)

Soelle, Dorothee. Against the Wind: Memoir of a Radical Christian. Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 1999.

Life: "Mediocrity Edition"

This is too easy to do in retirement and sometimes during vacations:

The End of Our Tomatoes

Chuck planted tomatores, and we have been enjoying the harvest for several weeks. Each day we eat a cheese and tomato sandwich for lunch, which we both love. There have been enough tomatoes to give some to friends, but lately half-eaten ones have been found lying around.

This afternoon I got a picture of the brazen squirrel eating a tomato on the ledge to the bench in the backyard.

Maisie, our big yellow lab/hound, chased him off, but the tomato remains. The remaining green tomatoes have been gnawed upon, so the end of our luscious home-grown tomatoes is here.

Friday Five Fun

Here are a few fivers to get you ready for whatever is next in your day (or keep you procrastinating for awhile before you do what you need to do.)

1.  If you were a character in a children's storybook, which storybook would it be, or what character, and why?

One of my favorite picture books is Miss Rumphius by Barbara Cooney. When Miss Rumphius had many adventures when she was a young woman, but when she was older she became the crazy "Lupine Lady" by sowing lupine seeds wherever she walked. The flowers flourished and bloomed all over in the springtime each year. She did this because her grandfather always told her that she "must do something to make the world more beautiful." She eventually discovered this little way to bring beauty to the world. I would like to do that, too, but probably not with flowers.

I like to give this book to children 3-7 years old, especially when a new baby has arrived in his/her home.

2.  What is something you are looking forward to this weekend?
Most of all, I am looking forward to lunch today with my first friend in Corpus Christi, whom I met at a La Leche League meeting before our first children were born in 1979. Eventually, we both became La Leche League Leaders and have remained friends all these years. Sadly in recent years, we only see each other once a month or so, because Lisa returned to teaching when MJ was a little girl. In fact, my daughter MJ was in Lisa's 4 year old class and later in her first grade class!

Walking with a friend this Saturday morning, which has been a tradition since 1996. We didn't see each other last Saturday because I was in San Antonio and Austin.

3.  If you had an invisibility cloak for a day, how would you use it?
I am still thinking about this one!

4.  I "lose" my keys all the time.  In fact, sometimes I lose them several times a day.  It is so bad that a member of my congregation gave me "instantly remember where you left your keys intense memory-stimulating mint gum."  Is there something you misplace or lose often? 
Keys like you and my reading glasses! I have multiple pairs of reading glasses around the house, but always lose them. In contrast, my husband Chuck has three pairs which are kept in designated places, so he always finds a pair! (And I don't follow his example. . . . .)

5.  Use the following words in a sentence:   ladybug, rowing, diner, sloth, and knitting. 
The gray sloth was rowing by the diner on the dock when he saw that the ladybug was knitting a  life preserver.

Every Moment A Prayer

“It’s really quite simple. When we look at a tree, God is there. When we look at a flower, God is there. When we look at the sky, God is there. When we look at the earth, God is there. We can see God in the faces of people on the street, in the faces of our children, our friends, our partners, our colleagues, and our bosses. When we see God shining through the faces of all those around us—those like us and those unlike us—every moment becomes a prayer and the world becomes a different place to live in.”

n     Anne Wilson Schaef

The Church Doesn't Like People to Grow Up

John Shelby Spong, retired Episcopal bishop from Newark, N.J., interviewed by Keith Morrison on Dateline, NBC, 8-13-2006

My New Hair Cut

This was the first picture I took of myself with my new Iphone--after today's haircut. If you look down at the picture with Avery a few days ago, you can see how much shorter my hair is today.

Google and the Wild Rumpus!

Google celebrates Maurice Sendak's birthday today! Let the wild rumpus begin! I loved his books as a teacher, parent and hope to as a grandmother!

End of Austin Visit

Chuck, Avery and Jan (with eyes closed as usual)

Jesus Heals

Tuesday Trivia

I haven't done a silly post about what's going on in my very ordinary life for a long time, so I'll do it tonight:

• The Wisdom Class finally finished discussing The Immortal Diamond by Richard Rohr today. One long-time member said she would like to go on retreat and read the entire book over again, without interruptions. That is a great compliment.

• A few months ago a former member of the Wisdom Class sent me an email about a short conversation she had had with Fr. Richard Rohr. After attending a church in Albuquerque where he preached, she told him her church group in Corpus Christi, TX was reading his newest book. His humble response was, "I am honored." I am still touched by his answer.

• Our next Wisdom Class book is one that will be a change of pace: The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg. Duhigg is a New York Times investigative reporter, which shows in his well-researched stories in this book.

• One new habit that I am trying to institute is walking at the mall five mornings a week. I didn't manage to have a regular schedule of walking outside while the weather was more pleasant here in south Texas. So now with daily temperatures in the 90s F. I find the air-conditioned areas of the mall more pleasant, even though the scenery is not. Plus, I get less sun exposure! Tomorrow will be the second time I walk and then go to the YWCA  for my deep water exercise class, having to change there before the class.

• Since my piano recital, I have suddenly reached a point of enjoying my time at the piano. And at today's piano lesson, my teacher told me I was having a "growth spurt" with my playing,which pleased me. I am trying to learn to play "Brahm's Lullaby," which I love.

•  Over the past six months, I have been slowly reducing one of the RA meds from 8 pills to 4 once a week, while still giving myself a bi-weekly shot. This was to determine the minimum amount of medication my body needs. Now I seem to have reached the stopping point, with a blip of RA returning in my hands and in fatigue. So I have gone back to 5 pills, which I am returning to this week. I hope that's that.

• This weekend youngest daughter MJ is flying to San Antonio from Salt Lake City where she is going to grad school. She is going to attend a friend's wedding near there. In between all the friends she wants to see, Chuck and I will take MJ to Austin on Saturday to see Avery and her parents. Just a quick trip for all of us.

My Dog, My Teacher

This is Baillie, our 17 year old blind and deaf cocker spaniel, although this picture was taken a year ago after she was groomed.

A couple weeks ago in our weekly Lectio Divina group, I had an insight about Baillie that is teaching me more about God and how to live.

The scripture we meditated upon was John16: 12-13:

16:12 "I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now.

16:13 When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth; for he will not speak on his own, but will speak whatever he hears, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.

After sitting with this, the images that came to me were our two cocker spaniels. Both went blind and deaf as they aged. The first one was Bagel, whom we got a few months before our first child was born in 1979. About ten years later, she reached a point where she could not bear her life as a blind and deaf dog. She would sit in the kitchen, not moving, and crying. She was too afraid to move. Soon after that, she was put to sleep.

In contrast, Baillie is 17 and bumbles around. She sometimes circles and almost always bumps into things. She forgets to go outside, and we have to guide her out there. Sometimes Baillie startles when we touch her, but she never snaps or growls. She doesn't cry and does not act unhappy. She still goes outside and goes around the house, bumping into walls and furniture. Baillie has been been able to bear disabilities that Bagel could not, which does not diminish how wonderful a dog Bagel was. Somehow Baillie senses that she is safe and will be guided, even though she cannot see or hear.

I am seeing that Baillie is showing me that she feels safe and that she will be guided in her dark and silent life. She trusts that things will be okay. She shows me that I am safe in this life, with God always with me. Even if I cannot see what is ahead, if I take the steps toward the seeming "next" thing, I am safe. Trusting God's presence will always be with me in whatever I do or however I am is my lifework. Baillie is my example, as I must remember that Bagel also teaches me that there is no condemnation about what I cannot bear or what I cannot do.

As Julian of Norwich said, "All shall be well, all shall be well, all manner of things shall be well."

Blogging and Me Lately

Your Silence

Your silence is full, irresistible;
your presence is joy unspeakable.
People drifting into mind
we lift to you and pray they find
health in sickness,
life in deadness,
strength in weakness,
light in darkness.
Their loss you bear, mysteriously;
Your peace you share, eternally.

~Anglican Church of Kenya, Our Modern Services (Nairobi: Uzima Press, 2002), p15

Nothing Is Lost

"Everything in this life is visited by its tides and seasons. This world is in a state of constant flux; all is flowing, changing. The more alive and alert the creature is, the more likely it is to be changing regularly. All of us are caught up in the pull of the ebb and flow of the whole of creation. In each of us there are many strong currents at work. We are a very small and frail craft in a mighty ocean. Yet we may be privileged to discover, in the ebb and flow, that nothing is lost, only changed."

Border Lands: The Best of David Adam's Celtic Vision

Yellow Highlights

I have the habit of highlighting parts of books that I particularly like. You should see my copy of Immortal Diamond by Richard Rohr! My daughter AE criticized me for this practice, which I understand--but haven't stopped doing.

No Going Back

No, no, there is no going back.
Less and less you are
that possibility you were.
More and more you have become
those lives and deaths
that have belonged to you.
You have become a sort of grave
containing much that was
and is no more in time, beloved
then, now, and always.
And so you have become a sort of tree
standing over the grave.
Now more than ever you can be
generous toward each day
that comes, young, to disappear
forever, and yet remain
unaging in the mind.
Every day you have less reason
not to give yourself away.
 ~ Wendell Berry ~

Stray Books

First Piano Recital

By Stephen Addiss

I am back from my first piano recital in my entire life. It is very funny that I found the image to the left, because the artist was 62 years old for his first recital, just like me! How appropriate.

There were nine players of the piano, ranging in age from 8 years old to 72, so I was not the oldest one after all. The atmosphere was more relaxed than I expected, because Cindy, our teacher, had us go alphabetically playing one piece at a time. It was especially casual, because her 72 year old friend playing joked about which reading glasses to use, among other things. She helped us all to relax!

What helped me the most was walking into the church and finding my little next door neighbor, Lily, in the audience with her parents. Neither of us knew that the other was taking piano lessons from Cindy. I was calmed by sitting next to Lily and near her parents (and my husband Chuck).

Most people played three pieces, but I played two. I was more nervous with the first piece, which was "On Wings of Song" by Mendelssohn, arranged by James Bastien. Not being familiar with much classical music, I never quite knew how it should sound. I was more practiced and comfortable with playing the second piece, "Song of Spring" by David Karp, a modern composer.

My piano teacher said she was surprised at how calm I seemed. I think I was greatly helped by practicing on the church piano a few days beforehand. My nervousness was also counteracted with Lily being there. I'd recently become aware of my perfectionism haunting me and was trying to let go of that. Praying and breathing slowly helped, too.

First times are always difficult. I am glad that it is over. It was not as bad as I expected. I hope I re-learned that doing the best I can is enough in each moment.

Piano Recital Tomorrow!

Chuck recently took this picture of me practicing the piano. I have been practicing frequently because I am worried about playing in my first ever piano recital on Sunday afternoon. It seems silly feel afraid when I am 62 years old, but any new experience is difficult. I am feeling silly as I look like a grandmother with white hair and am just a beginner, compared to the children playing in the recital.

The recital will be held at our church, All Saints Episcopal Church. Fortunately, I played on the piano there on two different days last week. That helped, because I was frozen in anticipation the first time I sat down there on Thursday. I hope that reaction will not recur tomorrow.

Today

Mother's Day Picture

Steve, AA's dad, took this picture of the moms on Mother's Day, including Avery's two grandmothers. We were in Austin together.

AA's mother (Mimi), Avery, AA, and Jan (Nana)

Royal Typewriter

I never got rid of my dad's old Royal typewriter. It looked much like this, and I have fond memories of pecking at the keys when I was a child. I learned to type on it, which seems archaic nowadays with computers and I-pads, etc.

I remember my dad sitting at the kitchen table and typing a letter to his mother every week.

Years ago I also typed letters, first with the electric typewriter that I received for my high school graduation gift in 1968 and later with computers.

I rarely do that anymore. . . .Just like I don't seem to be blogging lately. 

I thought of these manual typewriters because I have some thank you notes with one drawn on them. I bought them in Seattle and used these for my thank you notes for Mother's Day gifts.

Feast Day of Julian of Norwich

"The place which God takes in our soul he will never vacate, for in us is his home of homes, and it is the greatest delight for him to dwell there. . . . The soul who contemplates this is made like the one who is contemplated."

~Julian of Norwich

(Quote found in Immortal Diamond by Richard Rohr on page 95)

Serenity Prayer for CLUTTER

I used to pray the Serenity Prayer every day. Today Sue Fitzmaurice posted this clutter version on Facebook. I need to start saying this more than once a day. It seems meant for me, especially because my favorite color is green--AND I have too much junk in my house!

Avery and her good friend Luke

Part Time Vegetarianism?

As I ponder better health, I have been urged by my daughters to try Meatless Mondays. That is a serious consideration. And here's a talk about "part time" vegetarianism:

Friday Five: Play!

Rev. Pat Raube brings today's Friday Five for RevGalBlogPals:

It's May! And it smells so good outside. I can close my eyes and remember the golden hours after dinner as the days grew later and later, and we got to play outside until called home. It makes me want to go outside right now and play!

Of course, not all of us are in the northern hemisphere... plenty of RevGals and Pals are experiencing a season that is turning cold and blustery.

So to all of you, wherever you may be, how will you (or would you like to) play this month?

1. Tell about your favorite outdoor play
I have fond memories of being a child and playing hide and seek with the neighborhood kids, living on the Marine base at Quantico, VA.

It gets so hot in Texas that I don't think of being outside in the 6-8 months of summer. However, whenever I am ever around granddaughter Avery, it is fun to be outside with her!

Avery and her mommy AA playing at a play park by a restaurant in Austin.

  2. Tell about your favorite indoor play
Reading! Playing games on my Kindle Fire, especially Words With Friends!

3. Tell about a game you (or your friends) created
The only game I remember inventing was with my first child DC and his best friend Chris where they would pretend they were doggies and I was their mama.

4. Tell about a game that is new to you
My adult children point me to new online games, but I've only had a passing interest in Angry Birds and Draw Something.


I would like to learn how to play Mexican Train dominoes, but I've never seen it played. I've just heard from various friends how much fun it is. Today I've learned that Terri and Deb like it already.

5. Tell how you would like to incorporate play into your workday
I am re-committing to physical exercise, so I am going to the YWCA to swim or walking outside or at the mall almost every day. 

Hair Changes

Well, about a year ago I had to accept the fact that I had curly hair because of the chemo drug methotextrate taken for rheumatoid arthritis. I wrote about that and put a picture of me with curlier hair here.

I liked the fullness in that earlier picture.

As my RA symptoms lessened towards the end of the last year, my doctor and I decided to find the least amount of medicine I needed to maintain my bodily comfort. As the methotextrate was reduced, my hair gradually lost its curl, as you can see from this picture taken by my friend Margie with her new Iphone at a friend's 70th birthday party last week. I now have straighter and flatter hair again.

I was excited about my good health, even though my rheumatologist cautioned me that I probably would never be able to discontinue the meds entirely. With my 2-month checkup today, I realize that I need to discern what level of methotextrate is best as some pains in my hand joints have returned. The doctor told me that I could decide within the next two months about taking 4 or 5 tablets weekly. I've been on a regimen of 4 pills weekly for the past period, so I will see day by day, week by week.

Books Are Ancient

Friday Five: April Showers Bring May Flowers

Recently having driven from Corpus Christi to Houston to Austin and back to Corpus Christi, Texas, we saw the effects of rain and drought on the byways. South Texas is in a severe drought situation, but the route between Houston and Austin was graced with some recent rainfalls so that wildflowers were abundant. Otherwise, there were few to be seen.

With the old adage "April showers bring May flowers," let's look at the weather and vegetation in our home areas to see if any May Flowers will be blooming.

1. What spring flowers and plants do you see? Or will see sometime in the future?
When I was in Seattle last month I saw daffodils which I love! Unfortunately, none grow here in south TX.

The biggest harbinger of spring for me are the greening of the leaves on the mesquite trees, which are so bright at first.

2. What kinds of weather are you experiencing in April?
This is the end of the pleasant times of year in TX--usually with high temperatures in the 80's. We have been unusually fortunate, because we are still getting a cold front to reach us each week. Our last one until October will hopefully get here next week.

3. What are the stereotypical harbingers of spring in your area? How about where you grew up?
Wildflowers in TX, though this year has seen few because of the drought.

Daffodils and crocus came up in Washington State in the spring.


4. What season do you like best in your home area?
The best time of year in south TX is from November to March or April, which is why there are so many "Winter Texans." These times of year remind me of Bellingham, WA summer days.

5. What is sprouting or blooming in your life? What do you wish for?
I am feeling empowered by a book I just finished reading: The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg.

I am so impressed by this book that I have bought a copy of it for each of my four children. The author is a New York Times investigative reporter who has done a great deal of research about brain science and events that have happened in the past to illustrate why they occurred or how they were changed. It is so interesting!

The stories are interesting and give examples of different types of habits or routines. I learned how the American population was changed in the last century to become a nation of tooth-brushers! Dental hygiene was not important for most people before that. There are stories of individuals, businesses, movements, and churches.

I am hoping to become more aware of some habits I would like to change and do exactly that!

New Life!

Avery will have a new brother or sister in October!

My Mother and Me

Here is a picture of my mother, Margaret Faith Cowling, with me taken in January 1981. She was then 62 years old, which is my age now. In the picture, I was half her age--31 years old and only had one of my four children at that time.

Today is my mother's birthday and will always be a day for remembering her, even though she died 20 years ago. She would have been 94 years old today, which might have been a possibility if she had not contracted pancreatic cancer. I have a few friends who have mothers still living at this age and older. Not many people live to be in their 90's with a high quality of life, even in the 21st century.

Live Gratitude

From Ellie at The Anchorhold.

No Words

Nothing to say. Good wishes to all.

Give Us Compassion

Lord, have mercy. Have mercy on those in West, Texas who have had their world turned upside-down. Have mercy on those in Boston still struggling. Have mercy on those in Syria who are living in the midst of bombs and gunshots. Have mercy on those in North Korea who do not have enough to eat today. Have mercy on the 14.9 million children who have been orphaned by AIDS today. Have mercy, Lord Jesus. Have mercy. And in the midst of all of this, give us your heart. Give us the compassion that comes from You. Remind us that we ALL are in great need of your mercy, grace and love. Amen.

“Compassion- which means, literally, "to suffer with"- is the way to the truth that we are most ourselves, not when we differ from others, but when we are the same. Indeed the main spiritual question is not, "What difference do you make?" but "What do you have in common?" It is not "excelling" but "serving" that makes us most human. It is not proving ourselves to be better than others but confessing to be just like others that is the way to healing and reconciliation.”
― Henri J.M. Nouwen

From Renovare USA