No Unelectable Softies!

From Anamchara: The Website of Unknowing comes this link to a little animation about hate ads in the presidential election (and other possibilities?), which was created by Mark Fiore:

What if. . .

Cool air is back!

Cool air is back!

It turns out the air conditioner guy's son did not tighten the valve enough so freon had been leaking out of the unit. That was the frustrating point (beyond being hot)--that the service people had been out the day before to do an annual check-up on the air conditioning unit. . . .and then it stopped working the next day. So we're back to pleasant temperatures INSIDE.

No air conditioning

Our air conditioner stopped working. At 7 pm, it's 85 degrees F. inside the house and 90 degrees outside. I could not live in south Texas without air conditioning. Here's hoping it will be fixed tomorrow!

Given To

I never feel more given to
than when you take from me —
when you understand the joy I feel
giving to you.
And you know my giving isn’t done
to put you in my debt,
but because I want to live the love
I feel for you.

To receive with grace
may be the greatest giving.
There’s no way I can separate
the two.
When you give to me,
I give you my receiving.
When you take from me, I feel so
given to.

Song “Given To” (1978) by Ruth Bebermeyer from the album, “Given To.”

From Center for Non-Violent Communication.

More about "welcome"

New website I've discovered: The Center for Non-Violent Communication. Marshall Rosenberg founded this center; Sebastian Moore in his amazing book The Contagion of Jesus cites him.

What an interesting site. I am most struck (at the moment) by "Spiritual Basis of Non-Violent Communication." From that web page, comes these quotes about what it means to give of ourselves:

"To me, giving of ourselves means an honest expression of what’s alive in us in this moment. It intrigues me why every culture asks upon greeting each other, “How are you?” It’s such an important question. What a gift it is to be able to know at any given moment what is alive in someone.

"To give a gift of one’s self is a manifestation of love. It is when you reveal yourself nakedly and honestly, at any given moment, for no other purpose than as a gift of what’s alive in you. Not to blame, criticize, or punish. Just “Here I am, and here is what I would like.” This is my vulnerability at this moment. To me, that is a way of manifesting love.

"And the other way we give of ourselves is through how we receive another person’s message. To receive it empathically, connecting with what’s alive in them, making no judgment. Just to hear what is alive in the other person and what they would like. So Nonviolent Communication is just a manifestation of what I understand love to be."

~~Marshall Rosenberg

This reminds me of my little posting about lectio about the word "welcome" and how that is paying attention--and "connecting with what's alive in them, making no judgment" as written above.

Words

"It was the 'Selishter Rebbe' who told me one day:
'Be careful with words, they're dangerous.
Be wary of them. They beget either demons or angels.
It's up to you to give life to one or the other.
Be careful, I tell you,
nothing is as dangerous as giving free rein to words."

~~Elie Wiesel
Legends of Our Time (31)

Summer Reading Friday Five

Songbird rescued the RevGals Friday Five today by asking these questions about summer reading:


1) Do you think of summer as a particularly good season for reading? Why or why not?
It depends upon the plans for the summer. Travel usually means more reading, especially connected with air travel. Any trip I take, I always take more than enough books (which make the bag heavy), so I'll always have something to read. Inevitably, I don't read them all.

2) Have you ever fallen asleep reading on the beach?
No, because usually going to the beach with my kids meant taking care of the youngest one, which often meant nursing him/her under the big beach umbrella.

3) Can you recall a favorite childhood book read in the summertime?
I remember loving Meet the Austins by Madeleine L'Engle and also Homer Price by Robert McCloskey. I was always disappointed that my children did not find these books as wonderful as I did. (They've had many more choices than I did in childhood.)

4) Do you have a favorite genre for light or relaxing reading?
I've always loved mysteries, but haven't read too many in recent years. I saw on Quaker Pastor's site that Elizabeth George has a new one, so maybe that'll be summer reading!

5) What is the next book on your reading list?
I just finished The Cost of Certainty by Jeremy Young, which reminded me of the books by Sebastian Moore that I read at Lebh Shomea years ago (like The Crucified is No Stranger) and found so profound at that time. So I ordered his latest book (and Sebastian Moore is in his 90's), and it should arrived today: The Contagion of Jesus: Doing Theology As If It Mattered. And that's the book I will be reading next.

A Giggle

My new furniture

Barbara convinced me to go out shopping for some new furniture, though I'm not sure I'll like typing on the computer desk with that chair. We'll see. . . .

If you want to shop for your own "whatever" with your name as inspiration, go here.

But this was the most fun I had all day! Before this, I felt like:

See what being a muse for furniture creation can rid you of??

Here

Parable

Some fishermen pulled a bottle from the deep. It held a piece of paper,

with these words: "Somebody save me! I'm here. The ocean cast me on this desert island.

I am standing on the shore waiting for help. Hurry! I'm here!"

"There's no date. I bet it's already too late anyway.

It could have been floating for years," the first fisherman said.

"And he doesn't say where. It's not even clear which ocean," the second fisherman said.

"It's not too late, or too far. The island Here is everywhere," the third fisherman said.

They all felt awkward. No one spoke. That's how it goes with universal truths.

~ Wislawa Szymborska ~

(Poems New and Collected 1957-1997, trans. S. Baranczak and C. Cavanagh)

Odds and Ends of Today

Wednesday is the day for our lectio divina group meeting. The lectionary reading of the gospel this week was only three verses long, so for once we meditated upon the entire selection (Matthew 10:40-42). I was given the word "welcome," which opened up my view to hospitality, not only in welcoming someone but also to paying attention to each one I meet.

Last night's neighborhood barbecue was fun. Almost everyone came, which reminded me of how elderly the people living on our block are. Houses are starting to turn over, like the one that my husband remodeled next door to our house and where a family moved in with a three-year-old. Everyone brought desserts! We had hot dogs and hamburgers and dessert. There were too many desserts left over, so the one family with four children took them all home, which was a relief to a sugar-holic like me!

The dogs were pretty good, but when they kept barking were put in the back bedroom.

The lectio today brought back the memory of how people greet each other in Zambia. A person stops in front of another person and shakes his/her hand and asks, "How are you?" They both wait until each gives that information. When departing, they shake hands again. What a difference to us in the USA, where we say in passing, "How are you?" as we walk by. This attentive welcome is a form of hospitality.

I am also realizing that when I was castigated in my meeting last week, no one was being hospitable to me. The speakers did not care that their words and attitudes were distressing me, and the others did not interrupt or say anything. Usually, I worry about others, but in this case, I know I was not important except as the scapegoat. It is important to pay attention with care to the other. I hope I will remember this.

I was excited to hear about daughter AE being awarded for having the best GPA in the Korean Studies Program this year. She earned her master's degree this past month. Today she was given the news that she's been given a round-trip ticket to Korea! Not only am I proud of her, but I am very happy for this surprising reward.

MJ called me, which she cannot do from camp. It's her day off, and she and another friend drove to this friend's house in San Antonio to spend the night. Cell phones work when you're in San Antonio! In 2 1/2 weeks she'll come home.

Women's Issues this Election Year

Women's issues from Planned Parenthood:

Neighborhood Barbecue

Tomorrow we're having a barbecue at our house for the 400 block of our street. It looks like almost everyone on our block is coming. We asked the others to bring salads or desserts; I have the feeling that desserts are winning out.

We're not sure what to do about our two dogs, Cisco and Baillie, while everyone is here. They tend to bark, especially Baillie. Since Baillie has grown deaf, she barks and barks--it's hard to get her to stop!

I'm brewing tea to make ice tea now.

Prayer Site

Daily prayer site, run by Irish Jesuits:

Sacred Space

And here is one of the nine prayers for peace:

As we long for peace we remember our brothers and sisters of all faiths who share our longings.

A Buddhist Prayer

Evoking the presence of the great compassion, let us fill our hearts with our own compassion - towards ourselves and towards all living beings.

Gretchen Markle logo

"Spring Crocuses" by Gretchen Markle

Looking at Project Laundry List, I discovered a link to the art of Gretchen Markle, who painted my profile logo:

"Cumberland Clotheslines 1" by Gretchen Markle

Gretchen Markle was born and raised in a small mining town in Northern Ontario. In 1976, she moved to Vancouver Island. The isolation and beauty of both locales have had a profound and lasting effect on her art making.

Conservationist Endorses Clotheslines!

Now this makes sense to me! In Vermont, Alexander Lee has founded a movement endorsing the use of clotheslines, which he calls Project Laundry List. He learned that

"One dryer, he knows today, eats up to $100 or more in power each year while emitting up to a ton of carbon dioxide. Collectively, America’s more than 80 million dryers annually burn 6 to 10 percent of all residential electricity - second only to refrigerators and the equivalent of 30 million tons of coal or the output of the nation’s 15 least productive nuclear reactors."

To read the rest of the article, go here.

Of course, one good thing about the dreadful HEAT in Texas is the ability to hang clothes out on the clothesline almost any and every day. Still, I also had clotheslines when I lived in RI and NJ, though I could not use them as frequently as in TX. My mother-in-law has used a clothesline in her basement for years and years--and she lives in WA State.

To Come Home to Yourself

May all that is unforgiven in you
Be released.

May your fears yield
Their deepest tranquillities.

May all that is unlived in you
Blossom into a future
Graced with love.

-- from To Bless the Space Between Us by John O'Donohue

By the way, do click through "John O'Donohue" link just above. It's a wonderful article about him! (from Ellie at Does Not Wisdom Call?)

This prayer describes the healing that tears have brought me, plus the tears cried with one of the women who scolded me on Thursday. She came over and apologized this afternoon, staying for us to talk, cry, and pray together. Not sure where the Spirit is leading us, though I believe it is always towards wholeness.

Which is the threat?

From Ellie at Child of Illusion:

I need to grow up!

On June 11, I wrote the post below and did not post it. Now I am realizing it describes a defense mechanism of mine that does not help me anymore with me in my 50's. With an alcoholic father who raged and criticized, I learned to be passive and out of the way (or running away). Unfortunately, that reaction kicks in when I am criticized and no words or thought goes on except, "It must be my fault."

Yesterday I met with an infrequently meeting Emmaus Reunion Group for lunch in a restaurant. There were six women there. First one woman blasted me for over 10 minutes about emails I have sent out about the Methodist Church, most especially Jim Winkler's article"Shake the gates of hell!" and other ones about homosexuality. As she talked tears spilled down my face. She said she didn't know what denomination I was or if I had any domination, but I was vindictively attacking the Methodist Church and her. Then I shared about my insights of "More" while trying not to cry and also saying I'd never meant to hurt anyone and only shared with friends what I found to be meaningful. After that another person poured all her own hurt feelings on me, saying I kept her from speaking her truth. I kept crying, and here I am a person who formerly could not cry! No one else said anything; I felt that everyone agreed.

Since then four women have apologized, even the two who attacked me. As I try to let go of the hurt, I told them to let go, also.

My gut reaction is that I'm glad I am no longer a member of that Methodist Church. It was the place that gave me my first experience of community, and I have had a hard time letting go of it. This is it.

I also see that I am not responsible for other people's feelings, though I still take that on. I want to be more aware in the moment of MORE--instead of falling into the poor little girl stance. God is beckoning me to grow up.

Now here's what I wrote on June 11, which is pertinent to the above. Grow up, Jan!

Do you ever feel like a little kid in trouble?

I realized (again) that I do when people lecture me from a point of know-it-all-ness. I find no words to respond, often even when I know I am right or at least have a right to my own opinion. I am not in these situations very often, but have been reflecting on a recent conversation where I had nothing to say, even though I was not in the wrong.

I didn't even think of praying "Bless _________, change me."

Today I am thinking about conversations and how these are much more comfortable and connecting when each person is talking as an equal, no up or down--better or worse. Guess this partly goes back to the use of "I" statements, rather than blanket criticisms.

What I am objecting to are people who act like theirs is the only "correct" answer(s) and keep pounding away with these facts/opinions.

Honestly, Horace. . . . .

By Rose Rigden

I bought this postcard at the Johannesburg Airport in June 2006 when we were returning to the USA from Zambia. It is still on my refrigerator. I chuckle whenever I see it.

More

Yesterday's lectio divina group meditated upon Matthew 10:29-31:

10:29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.

10:30 And even the hairs of your head are all counted.

10:31 So do not be afraid; you are of more value than many sparrows.

I kept hearing the word "more." I was surprised at the direction my thoughts and prayer went, but that so often happens during lectio. I know I was influenced by reading Richard Rohr's book Things Hidden: Scripture as Spirituality, remembering where he wrote:

“There seems to be a ‘structural blindness’ for people who are content and satisfied on the inside of groups. They do not realize that it is largely a belonging system that they have created for themselves." (92)

“Structural blindness might even be more prevalent than personal blindness. The group itself often keeps you from truth and your own sincerity.” (99)

I realized how often I limit my perceptions, my senses, and my understanding to the concrete and obvious. There is always more. There is more to each person I meet, even though I may think they are "blind." As Richard Rohr writes, "It is important to know that people can be personally well-intentioned and sincere, but structurally they cannot see certain things." (92) There is even more to me than I know!

Each moment has more. Please, O Holy One, help to pay attention and remember there is MORE.

And that brings me to remember the quoted prayer that used to be on my sidebar, but is now at the bottom of this blog:

Help me see the good
and the bad,
O God,
as equal opportunities
to lean closer
into your loving embrace.

Praying this helps me to be aware of MORE.

What is your religion?

Often people will ask, "What's your religion?" Usually they are looking for a denomination. Gandhi had a different reply, "You must watch my life, how I live, eat, sit, talk, behave in general. The sum total of all those in me is my religion."

"My Turn" from Newsweek Magazine

Two friends from opposite coasts of the U.S. emailed me about "My Turn" in the most recent Newsweek, and then I read about it at Musings of an Episcopal Padre. The essay is entitled "Let Me Worship as I Am." It is by Jimmy Doyle and tells his journey as a gay man in finding a spiritual home in the Episcopal Church. This makes me proud to be an Episcopalian.

I chuckled when he wrote of his discomfort with the general opinion of "Christian" as a category, something I struggle with when classed with the prevailing idea of Christianity as fundamentalists on the loose judging everyone else.

"The very word 'Christian' makes me wish I'd had a Druid spiritual awakening. In today's lexicon, Christian is equated with fanatics who need God to be as human as can be: male, full of pride and hate, war-loving and with a voting record that can only be described as shortsighted. For me to have found the answer to my spiritual hunger in the teachings of Jesus was at best highly inconvenient."

I know LGBT people have difficulties with the judgment and condemnation felt from Christians and Christian churches, and so I was glad Doyle could write:

"As my partner's Mormon mother would say, I have a testimony. I was created by God, who works through all of his creation, and I've been gay as a handbag since birth. . . .And I have faith that I will stand in front of the altar of God and commit my life to the man I love, with smells and bells and without secrecy. It is right to stand before God as I am, and speak my own truth."

Luckily, he and his partner live in California, where it is now legal to be married as same-sex partners. I hope and pray that this will become true for my daughter and her partner in Washington State.

Go here to read the rest of the article.

And connected with this is the happy story of an older lesbian couple who now can marry in California, as posted by Choral Girl.

How God screams at us

Jack Nelson-Pallmeyer once found himself walking through the streets of Calcutta, so enraged by the poverty that he wanted to scream at God, “How can you allow such suffering?” Then he came to a painful realization: “In the suffering of the poor God was screaming at me, in fact at all of us and at our institutions and social systems that cause and perpetuate hunger, poverty, and inequality.”

Jack Nelson Pallmeyer, Hunger for Justice. Maryknoll, NY: Orbis Books, 1980. vii.

Delete

Home again, home again, jiggedy-jog!

This is what the land looks like in the Texas hill country. When CB and I went on an early walk this morning, it was cool (about 70 degrees F.) and we saw these alpacas and a two ponies in a field.

It was wonderful to see MJ, along with four other girls and one boy from camp. We stayed in the double-wide trailer of one of the girls' parents. It was a quiet evening, because MJ stayed there with us while the others went into Kerrville to shop and eat. We enjoyed being with her.

There are 13 beds in that trailer, and the family opens it to lots of people! They are very hospitable. They also provide the facilities for the kids to wash their clothes. The washing machine and dryer were running almost all the time with the bags full of dirty clothes and linens these kids had brought with them from the past week at camp. (All are counselors at LLYC.)

It was funny how loaded our car was when we traveled there, because other parents found out we were driving to see MJ. Three workers' parents brought over cookies and stuff to take to them, and a camper's mother gave me a huge bag of surprises for her daughter and niece, who happen to be in MJ's cabin. Poor MJ had to deliver all that--to two different camp sites.

Each camp session lasts for two weeks. The camp workers and counselors, like MJ, are there for six weeks.

We had lunches in both San Antonio and Fredericksburg. Yesterday, for Father's Day, we had a nice lunch with son DC and his wife AA. They generously drove from Austin to San Antonio to meet us. Today we drove to Fredericksburg to visit friends who retired there from Corpus Christi. Good meals and wonderful companionship for our two lunches.

We got home at about 6 pm tonight. Cisco and Baillie, our two dogs were glad to see us, and Gracie the cat did not run and hide when we walked in. It is good to be home, especially after driving 550 miles in only 32 hours!

Father's Day travels

This is the road into Laity Lodge Youth Camp, where MJ is a camp counselor until July 12. You may (or may not) remember that she left for this summer job one hour after her graduation ceremony two weeks ago.

On Sunday, which is Father's Day, MJ has the day off from 1 pm to 1 pm on Monday. So husband CB and I are driving all the way to Leakey to be with her for maybe 20 hours. It is 196 miles from Corpus Christi. The trip will be extended somewhat because we are also going to meet oldest son DC and his wife AA in San Antonio for lunch before going on to meet MJ.

My grandmother's birthday

Today would be my grandmother's birthday. I always remembered it connected with Flag Day, which was always observed on the Marine bases where I grew up. She was my father's mother, Brunie, who grew up in a poor family in Arkansas. Her parents died when she was young, so her older sister took care of all the children left behind. Brunie married John K. when she was only 14 and soon after had my dad, their only child. (I'm an only child, too.)

What is a little odd is that today I remember my father more than his mother. He would always call me on her birthday to remind me of the date, even though she had died years ago. My dad died in 2002, but somehow I am missing him a little bit today, much more than I expect to tomorrow--on Father's Day.

Just as my dad had a love/hate relationship with his mother, so was my connection somewhat gnarly with my father. When he was alive, I found it irritating that he would call to remind me on my mother's and his mother's birthdays to remind me, as if I didn't know. Now that's something I miss.

This is the only picture I could find of Mineral Springs, Arkansas, where Brunie lived and where my dad grew up. This is the view from this point on Hwy 107 N. looking across Magness Creek to Mineral Springs, Arkansas

"The Silent Wave" in Africa

"The Silent Wave," 2006 Lurie Award winner, Alberto Sabat, La Nacion, Argentina

(Look under "illustrations" to find this picture with the link above.)

Winner, First Prize, Editorial Cartoon section, World Press Cartoon, 2006
Winner, First Prize, United Nations Correspondents Association “Ranan Lurie” Award, 2006

The cartoonist is Alberto Sabat, the cartoon was published in La Nacion in Argentina. The award is named after the outstanding cartoonist Ranan Lurie, who himself was once nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize for his cartoons that promoted peace and understanding.

I first saw this painting here.

Why you should vote Republican!

I have seen this video on various blogs, but first received it from daughter in Seattle two days ago. I just watched it again and found the sarcasm so revealing about the promises of the Republican party that I am going to post it here. Maybe one of you haven't seen it yet. If so, watch it now!

Friday Five: Beach Trip

Mother Laura posted questions about beach trips at RevGalBlogPals. Since I live pretty close to beaches being in Corpus Christi, TX, the above picture seemed appropriate.

So in honor of summer, please share your own beachy memories, plans, and dreams with a "Beach Trip" Friday Five.

1. Ocean rocks, lake limps? Vice versa? Or "it's all beautiful in its own way"?
I mostly grew up with beaches in the Pacific Northwest, which are usually rocky and rugged. But for 30 years (off and on) we've lived on the Gulf Coast of Texas, where the beaches are long and sandy. I love looking for shells and rocks in the Northwest, but there aren't many down here.

So I'd say I love beaches in any form (except polluted and dirty).

2. Year round beach living: Heaven...or the Other Place?
I would love to live on the beach all year round, especially on an Oregon beach.

3. Any beach plans for this summer?
Not really.

4. Best beach memory ever?
I have wonderful memories of husband CB and I taking our babies and toddlers to Mustang Island State Park every weekend on hot summer days. I would often sit under an umbrella, nursing a baby and watching everyone play. We liked that state park, because vehicles were not allowed to be driven on the sand, which happens at public beaches in TX.

I also loved the times we could walk on Newport, OR beaches when we lived in Oregon while CB was going to grad school (long, long ago). Sometimes on vacations we would go visit there, and the times at Gold Beach and Lincoln City with the children are memorable. It would often by cold, but there was such fun looking for shells and rocks--and the kids would play in the sand, climb the rocks, and build forts with the driftwood.

5. Fantasy beach trip?
A few years ago, after CB helped AE move up to Seattle, he and I went on a driving trip back to TX and stayed several days in a house on Gold Beach. I would so like to do that again, and the house was big enough to have all our children join us. That would be a fantasy come true!

Rearranging the Sidebar

Cluttered sidebar makes me want to move things out of the way. I'm not ready to give up the prayers and links, so I will put them down at the bottom, out of the way for now, but still visible (for me).

Help me see the good
and the bad,
O God,
as equal opportunities
to lean closer
into your loving embrace.

O, Begin!

Fix some part of every day for private exercises. . . .

Whether you like it or no, read and pray daily.

It is for your life; there is no other way:

else you will be a trifler all your days. . . .

Do justice to your own soul;

give it time and means to grow.

Do not starve yourself any longer.

~~John Wesley

Travel plans for October!

With the fear that airlines will keep on raising their rates, I made my plane reservations tonight to visit my elderly cousin Margaret in Calgary, Alberta, Canada in October! She is the last person in my mother's family that knows a lot of information about the family, which I would like to document while I'm there. (I don't remember enough of my mother's stories, sad to say.)

When she visited me in Texas about five years ago, she told me the story of why she and my mother, who were cousins growing up near Leask, Saskatchewan, Canada together, were both named "Margaret." Their mothers, who were sisters, had taveled with brothers and sisters to Canada some time before, but had left their oldest sister Meg in Scotland. Meg was unable to have children, and so both mothers named their daughters "Margaret" in honor of Meg, even though the two "Margarets" would be living together in the same house on the prairies.

I'll travel to Calgary on September 30, and then on October 9 will go to SEATTLE to visit my daughter AE and partner KA!! Then I'll fly home to Corpus Christi on October 14. It is a long time away, plus it seems very far off right now. Still, I am excited!

Indy and a gallon of gas

By John Deering, The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette

You are the light!

Universe

". . . God, who can wait for fourteen billion years and can allow this universe to unfold on its own as if it were separate from God!"

Richard Rohr, Things Hidden: Scripture as Spirituality, 98.

Artist's view of star formation in the early universe. By Adolf Schaller. Source: NASA.

Food prices help?

Diet

I have actually stayed on the South Beach Diet for seven days! I started it the day after MJ left, even though I was very sad. This phase of strictly eating protein and vegetables lasts for 14 days; I am halfway done.

My towel is losing weight!

TV

Sometimes I wish my husband felt this way about tv.

So Sad

Maybe old news, but it's new to me. Thanks to Fran (from Paul), I discovered this link to UK Daily Mail about John McCain and his calculated dumping of his first disfigured wife for a beautiful, very rich, younger woman when he returned from being a POW. I realize that is a difficult time of transition for any couple, but I find it heartbreaking that a woman so hurt in an accident is not supported with more than money. (Positively, at least he promised to pay his first wife's medical expenses for the rest of her life, which must be in the $millions.) The comments in the article from former friends and even former supporter Ross Perot are revealing, especially about their disgust with their previous compadre.

This is further damning evidence against him and something I find personally reprehensible.

l

"When McCain – his hair turned prematurely white and his body reduced to little more than a skeleton – was released in March 1973, he told reporters he was overjoyed to see Carol again.

"But friends say privately he was ‘appalled’ by the change in her appearance."

(While it was a miracle she was standing/walking!)

Faith=Risk=Trust

Have you ever heard of the book Leaving Church by Barbara Brown Taylor? Today our priest read a marvelous quote about faith from that book. I've just ordered a used copy of the book online. (As if I need another book!) Here's the quote:

"I had arrived at an understanding of faith that had far more to do with trust than with certainty. I trusted God to be God even if I could not say who God was for sure. I trusted God to sustain the world although I could not say for sure how that happened. I trusted God to hold me and those I loved, in life and in death, without giving me one shred of conclusive evidence that it was so. While this understanding had the welcome effect of changing faith from a noun to a verb for me, it was an understanding that told me how far I had strayed from the center of my old spiritual map. (p. 170)"

~~Barbara Brown Taylor

That sounds like me so much!

The message in today's sermon was to risk trusting, like Matthew did when he followed Jesus, as Jairus did in asking for healing for his dead daughter, and as the woman bleeding for 12 years showed when she reached out to touch Jesus' robe. Risk!

• Hope beyond hope
• Home is the hope we carry with us, not the outcome we envision
• No picture of what's ahead, but trusting that there is life there

"We ask you, Lord: what do you expect of me? And the Holy Spirit answers:
I pray in you
Dare to give your life
Dare to go that far"
(Brother Roger of Taizé)

Peacemaking: Day by Day

Two little volumes of Peacemaking: Day by Day sit on my computer desk. I don't look each day, but find the quotes for today very meaningful.


Volume 1:

If you want to see the brave, look for those who can forgive.
If you want to see the heroic, look at those who can love in return for hatred.
~~Bhagavad Gita

Volume 2:

I am the only one, but still I am one.
I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
~~Edward Everett Hale

Trying to Listen (and Wait)

The weekly Wisdom Class, which is a kind-of book study, is reading Things Hidden: Scripture as Spirituality by Richard Rohr. Suddenly, our group has grown from about five people to over ten each week! Plus, each week someone else arrives who is new to the group, and others miss a class every so often. One person is having a hard time realizing we are a "class" that is more of a community that does not only talk about the book, but we share about our faith, insights, problems, and lives. And in any group, a new member changes the dynamics. So each week that is happening.

A lot is going on, plus we are trying to do Deep Listening in a Group, which is a struggle. A vestry member brought some guidelines a few weeks ago that were tried in a vestry meeting, which were from the Kaleidoscope Institute for Competent Leadership in a Diverse Changing World. For the past two weeks we've tried to follow the Kaleidoscope Institute's plan* for the first hour of our class and then have a open discussion for the second hour:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Respectful Communication Guidelines*

R = take RESPONSIBILITY for what you say and feel without blaming others

E = use EMPATHETIC listening

S = be SENSITIVE to differences in communication styles

P = PONDER what you hear and feel before you speak

E = EXAMINE your assumptions and perceptions

C = keep CONFIDENTIALITY/share CONSTRUCTIVELY

T = TRUST ambiguity because we are NOT here to debate who is right or wrong

Mutual Invitation*

"In order to ensure that everyone who wants to share has the opportunity to speak, we will proceed in the following way:

"The leader or a designated person will share first. After that person has spoken, he or she then invites another to share. Who you invite does not need to be the person next to you. After the next person has spoken, that person is given the privilege to invite another to share. If you have something to say but are not ready yet, you may say 'Pass for now' and then invite another to share. You will be invited again later. If you don't want to say anything, simply say 'Pass" and invite another to share. We will do this until everyone has been invited."

(Kaleidoscope Institute)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This past Tuesday class was teeming with emotions, especially with a returning elderly member who did NOT like refraining from debating the speakers. There was more discussion about the process than the book during the second hour. I felt frustrated and not sure of my reaction as "the facilitator."

Today I talked to a Quaker friend MKG from Shalem about this. She compared it to worship sharing, which is also called "creative listening." It sounds like what we're trying to do:

"The facilitator of a worship sharing group usually asks the attenders to observe some general rules, such as: speak for a second time only after everyone has had a chance to speak once; speak from your own experience only; leave silence between speakers; everything said in the group is confidential to the group; do not comment directly on what others have said; listen with attention and do not lapse into discussion." (Quaker Structures)

Talking with MKG helped me to see that our Wisdom Class is still in the transition period as a group, getting used to each other with new members and growing accustomed to a different process of interaction. We're trying to find our balance, which is why various emotions come up. I was so helped to realize that this is a waiting time, not a decision time (YES or NO to the listening format). Wait on the Lord!

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord."

Psalm 27:14

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now I was encouraged by Mine Unbelief where I was directed by ChoralGirl. The first post is all about waiting, with a link to a wonderful poem about being Jonah in the belly of the whale:

Be thankful that you are here, swallowed with all hope,
where you can rest and wait.

Happy Land

Well, prozac does not necessarily make life happy; I know from experience.

Friends and family help. Saying "thank you" frequently helps.

Remembering Meister Eckhart helps:

"If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you,
it will be enough."

Thank you.

Start close in!

Start close in,
don't take the second step
or the third,
start with the first
thing
close in,
the step you don't want to take.

Start with
the ground
you know,
the pale ground
beneath your feet,
your own
way of starting
the conversation.

Start with your own
question,
give up on other
people's questions,
don't let them
smother something
simple.

To find
another's voice
follow
your own voice,
wait until
that voice
becomes a
private ear
listening
to another.

Start right now
take a small step
you can call your own
don't follow
someone else's
heroics, be humble
and focused,
start close in,
don't mistake
that other
for your own.

Start close in,
don't take the second step
or the third,
start with the first
thing
close in,
the step you don't want to take.

~ David Whyte ~

(River Flow)

I am needing this message about taking the step I don't want to take--start close in!

I received this poem in my email today through Panhala.
To subscribe to Panhala, send a blank email to Panhala-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
For an index of poetry posted, go here.

Start of Summer Meme

Rev SS tagged me for this meme about summer. In south Texas, it has felt like summer for quite awhile, even though it is not "officially" here yet. 92 degrees F. today.

1. What first tells you that Summer is here?
In south Texas it seems like summer is here when cold fronts no longer reach this far south. That usually happens in April or May.

2. Name five of your distinctively Summer habits or customs.
Trip to Washington State
MJ goes to camp in Leakey, TX
Stop walking with friend KK on Sunday nights (until it gets cooler again)
Birthdays for husband CB and son DC
Walk in the mall in the mornings instead of outside

3. What is your favorite smell of Summer?
Barbecue

4. What is your favorite taste of Summer?
In WA, it is fresh strawberries and raspberries
In TX, this year--gelato at the new gelato and coffee store

5. Favorite Summer memory?
Going to Zambia in June 2006
Going to Gold Beach, OR for various summers
Right now, this past weekend with all my children here for MJ's graduation

6. Extreme heat or extreme cold? Which would you choose and why?
I'd rather have cooler weather, but am stuck in the extreme heat and humidity of south Texas, because that's where we live.

7. What books do you plan to read this season?
I'm going to finish Scripture as Spirituality by Richard Rohr. I have various other books that I've started that I need to finish, like The Experience of God: Icons of Mystery by Raimundo Panikkar. I ordered Celtic Christianity by Ian Bradley on May 30 due to MP's recommendation, and it's finally going to get here tomorrow. My daughter AE brought two books for me to read from Seattle: The Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein and The End of America by Naomi Wolf. I haven't finished a book for several months, so maybe this will be the time that I will.

8. How does the Summer affect your faith? Is it a hindrance or an ally?
Both, but right now it is an ally.

I feel like I am late about getting this done, so consider yourself tagged if you feel like doing it. If you do, leave a comment so we'll find you.

"The opposition is aging out."

In the latest issue (June 9) of Newsweek, Anna Quindlen has an excellent essay on gay marriage. It starts out like this:

The Same People

Scream, shout, jump up and down. No matter.

The gay-marriage issue is over and done with.

The upshot: love won.

I get upset with the people who are so adamantly against gay marriage, because that is denying two people the equal rights of heterosexual couples. I am glad that the California Supreme Court ruled that gay couples should have the right to marry as a matter of basic equality. I view that as common sense!

However I needed Anna Quindlen to point out that the younger generation is much more accepting and that future generations will continue to be so. That is hopeful. She writes:

"Here's what I don't understand: is there so much love and commitment in the world that we can afford, as a society, to be contemptuous of some portion of it? If two women in white want to join hands in front of their families and friends and vow to love and honor one another until they die, the only reasonable response to that is happy tears, awed admiration and societal approval. And—this part is just personal opinion—one of those big honking KitchenAid mixers with the dough hook.

"Before we know it that will be the response everywhere, not just in Denmark and the Netherlands and Canada and California: approval, appliances. The polls predict the future. The younger you are, the more likely you are to know someone who is gay. The more likely you are to know someone who is gay, the more likely you are to support gay marriage. The opposition is aging out."

Go here to read the rest of the article.

I love the way she ended with "The opposition is aging out."

"Tears" by Buechner

Ever since I wrote about Tears, I've been thinking about Frederick Buechner's wise words about them. So I will copy them here:

"You never know what may cause tears. The sight of the Atlantic Ocean can do it, or a piece of music, or a face you've never seen before. A pair of somebody's old shoes can do it. Almost any movie made before the great sadness that came over the world after the the Second World War, a horse cantering across a meadow, the high school basketball team running out onto the gym floor at the start of a game. You can never be sure. But of this you can be sure. Whenever you find tears in your eyes, especially unexpected tears, it is well to pay the closest attention.

"They are not only telling you something about the secret of who you are, but more often than not God is speaking to you through them of the mystery of where you have come from and is summoning you to where, if your soul is to be saved, you should go to next."

I am trying to remember this. Live in the present moment, teary or otherwise.

Tears

"Left in Tears" by Donald W. Larson

Various spells of tears today, but CB agreed to go (spontaneously) to the new Indiana Jones movie. We went to a late matinee, and our tickets were only $4.50 each, because there's a Senior discount on Mondays. That was an insult, because you have to be five years older than we are and so we must look that old, but at least we got cheap tickets. After that, we ate dinner at the Thai Cottage and had a delicious dinner. LT and RT, the friends who sat with us at MJ's graduation, walked in after us, which was a nice surprise.

The movie was fun, though belief had to be suspended periodically. My friend NE in California told me that she thought it was a film for baby boomers. That is probably true, because MJ's boy friend CS told me he did not like the movie at all. I liked going to a movie with my husband, which we rarely do. With the senior rate on Mondays, we may continue to swallow our pride so as to take advantage of those cheap tickets.

I appreciate all the support I received in the post below about the Empty Nest. I am in a transitional period, having to let go of MJ, which is a natural process. I want her to go off and become the woman she is meant to be, just as I see her siblings growing into their adult selves. It's just hard to let go and face the emptiness that is yet to be filled. Someday I'll be as lighthearted as the figures in the quilt.

I also know that I need to stay in the present and be with the feelings that arise. I am newly aware of how my mother must have felt when her only child (me) got married at 21 and then left the west coast for the EAST coast at 22. My heart is being stretched.

Empty Nest!

I wish CB and I were feeling this way, with everyone, especially MJ gone. We are both feeling sad, but hope to become accustomed to the alone-togetherness of our lives soon.


(Quilt is called "Empty Nest" and was made by Jean McCaffrey.)