Friday Five: Fork in the Road

Singing Owl writes for RevGalBlogPals:

I am at a life-changing juncture. I do not know which way I will go, but I have been thinking about the times, people and events that changed my life (for good or ill) in significant ways. For today's Friday Five, share with us five "fork-in-the-road" events, or persons, or choices. And how did life change after these forks in the road?

1. Going to La Leche League meetings before my first child was born, way back in 1979.

La Leche League opened me to new and more beneficial ways of parenting, nutrition, and (of course) breastfeeding my four children. I met my best friend there and eventually became a La Leche League leader myself. LLL's emphasis on "family first" helped both my husband and me learn beyond our own childhoods.

2. Having each of our four children.

Being an only child and living far away from my husband's and my relatives, I am grateful that we had each of our four children. Each one has blessed us and grown us to accept them and the wider world. Our eldest daughter AE helped us become advocates for LGBT equality, which I believe is God's will.

3. Going to Oblate School of Theology in San Antonio, TX from Corpus Christi, 2001-2007.

My faith grew as my knowledge of theology expanded, as well as my confidence in myself. I started by wondering if I was called to be a Methodist minister and continued in the desire for learning more about God. I also learned more about the Roman Catholic Church and its priests and orders, as well as its social justice around the world. In 2006, I went to Zambia with a group from OST (only five of us!), where my heart expanded in love for Africa, those with HIV/AIDs, and orphans around the world.

It was also at OST that I learned from a professor who had done his dissertation on Karl Rahner that the (perceived) ABSENCE of God is actually God's PRESENCE! What a major revelation that continues to shape me in my "yearning for God."

4. The Episcopal Church.

When I was in high school in Bellingham, WA, I was baptized and confirmed in the Episcopal Church without my parents' interest. That seems much more momentous to me now, in retrospect, than it did for years and years.

Starting to see Father David Stringer as my spiritual director while I was going to the Methodist Church in 1997 was a major decision towards my spiritual and emotional growth. My "yearning for God" increased so much that I found the need to return to the liturgy and deep spirituality of the Episcopal Church in 2005.

5. NOW.

Going to the Shalem Program for Spiritual Guidance, all the books I've read over the years, going to Lebh Shomea since 1996, and the yearning placed within me are bringing me to this crossroads, which is currently my blog logo. Commitment to meditation/contemplation/prayer and moving forward with all my papers are the the way I am going. . . .



And here is a Lenten meditation from Lebh Shomea, which is short and beautiful.

Fasting and Feasting

Fast from judging others; feast on the Christ indwelling them.

Fast from emphasis on differences; feast on the unity of all life.

Fast from apparent darkness; feast on the reality of light.

Fast from thoughts of illness; feast on the healing power of God.

Fast from words that pollute; feast on phrases that purify.

Fast from discontent; feast on gratitude.

Fast from anger; feast on patience.

Fast from pessimism; feast on optimism.

Fast from worry; feast on divine order.

Fast from complaining; feast on appreciation.

Fast from negatives; feast on affirmatives.

Fast from unrelenting pressures; feast on unceasing prayer.

Fast from hostility; feast on non-resistance.

Fast from bitterness; feast on forgiveness.

Fast from self-concern; feast on compassion for others.

Fast from personal anxiety; feast on eternal Truth.

Fast from discouragement; feast on hope.

Fast from facts that depress; feast on truths that uplift.

Fast from lethargy; feast on enthusiasm.

Fast from suspicion; feast on truth.

Fast from thoughts that weaken; feast on promises that inspire.

Fast from shadows of sorrow; feast on the sunlight of serenity.

Fast from idle gossip; feast on purposeful silence.

Fast from problems that overwhelm; feast on prayer that undergirds.

- William Arthur Ward
(American author, teacher and pastor, 1921-1994.)

Lent Disciplines

A Green Lent?

Above are the logos for The Regeneration Project. Its IPLog has posts about Green Lenten Ideas, with lots of links and info. Take the time to go there!

One is "Try giving up carbon instead of chocolate."

Since today is Ash Wednesday, it is a good time to reflect upon which actions or disciplines one wishes to do for the next 40 days (and maybe a lifetime).


My husband and I have agreed that we will give up sweets (except fruit!) for Lent, which is not a spiritual task, but a practical one. 40 days is an accessible time limit to try a new behavior. A few days ago, I posted this thought from Debra Farrington:

"What most of us neglect- with more regularity than we might care to admit - is God. So this Lent, instead of giving up chocolate, give up neglecting God."

That hit me with such force that it is staying in my mind. Besides taking away sugar, I am adding two prayer times each day. I've tried to do this for several months, but don't always get the second time in. This is also my commitment for Lent.

I remember hearing that in three weeks (21 days) you can make a new habit, so in 40 days, almost twice that time, I hope to be committed in both these disciplines.

Shrove Tuesday or Pancake Day

Tonight at the Pancake Supper at our church, I started wondering about the tradition of having pancakes on Fat Tuesday. Both churches we have attended in Corpus Christi (Methodist and Episcopal) have their youth groups cooking pancakes and sausage for this dinner the night before Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. I must say that the pancakes at All Saints Episcopal Church tasted better than the ones we had in the past at the Methodist Church, probably helped by an older couple sharing their own real maple syrup they had brought from home for the event.

It turns out that pancakes originated from the need to rid one's kitchen of eggs, milk, and sugar in preparation for the austerities of the 40 days of Lent. Go here to read more.

So this reminds me of a family favorite recipe for pancakes, but cottage cheese pancakes. This is from that old La Leche League cookbook Whole Foods for the Whole Family. I put that recipe in a Friday Five post long ago.

Not chocolate!

"What most of us neglect- with more regularity than we might care to admit - is God. So this Lent, instead of giving up chocolate, give up neglecting God."

Debra K. Farrington's article is here.

A little prayer

May those whose hell it is to hate and hurt
be turned into lovers bringing flowers.

~~Shantideva
8th century Buddhist teacher

To receive such quotations every day, subscribe to Word for the Day at Gratefulness.org.

I am reading and not posting

Well, I'm reading too much and otherwise trying to move books from piles to bookcases (for me) or sacks for donating.I just finished and greatly enjoyed the newest Maisie Dobbs' mystery, Among the Mad by Jacqueline Winspear. I love those mysteries and have gained an interest in WWI because of them.

In the past few days I've received used books in the mail, which I learned about from the bibliography of The Wisdom Jesus by Cynthia Bourgeault:

• The Taste of Hidden Things by Sara Sviri
• The Contemplative Experience by Joseph Chu-Cong

So I'll see if those are what I am reading this weekend. I also have to start preparing a 3-week Sunday School class on the Enneagram that starts in another week.

And just so you'll know, I chose a completely different e-mail signature phrase than the ones listed in the post below:

"The highest form of wisdom is kindness."
The Talmud

That phrase has been framed in my bathroom since we moved here in 1994.

E-mail signatures

Since January, I've been using the following quote as the closing "signature" for my emails:

"Jesus didn't send his disciples out as 'Christian soldiers marching as to war.' He sent them out as peacemakers, who would form circles of friendship and thereby enable people to connect with one another. That is still the primary Christian mission: better living through better circles of sharing. .."

~~Tom Ehrich

For a long time before that, I used the quote that's at the top of this blog:

"An act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life as an act of love that succeeds, for love is measured by its own fullness, not by its reception."
~~Harold Loukes

I've been thinking lately that a shorter saying would be more noticeable, so what shall it be?

I am considering:

"In the way of God, thoughts count very little. Love does it all."
~~Brother Lawrence

"Apprehend God in all things, for God is in all things. Every single creature is full of God, and is a book about God. Every creature is a word of God."
~~Meister Eckhart

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."
~~Carl Jung

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful."
~~Buddha

"You can do what I cannot do. I can do what you cannot do. Together we can do something beautiful for God."
~~Mother Teresa

I am leaning towards the last one. I know Buddha's is longer, but it's quirky and I like it.

What do you think? Any other suggestions?

The lost is found

This struck me funny, because yesterday I found my long-lost (for three weeks) winter jacket at church. I was there for EFM and dropped by the church office to visit--and was so surprised to find the black jacket I'd been searching for right there on one of the chairs! They told me that's where they put lost items. . . .but I didn't know where I'd lost it--until then.

This jacket is about 10 years old. It's the one I wore in Minneapolis last year when I met Diane and her husband. Although this jacket is ten years old, it looks pretty new, because I don't wear it too often in south Texas. I might wear it at the most ten times each winter.

I am glad I don't have to buy another coat for its infrequent usage.

Dying

From e-cards at ExploreFaith.

I just learned that the 41 year old daughter of a good friend died. The daughter, Karen, had a life-long struggle with drugs and alcohol. No reason for the death was stated.

Karen's mother, my friend, taught three of my four children kindergarten. Margy was the first person I ever observed listening with her whole being; she was one of those people who did not finish phrases or sentences for someone else, but waited. She died of ovarian cancer about ten years ago. All I can think is that Margy and Karen are together in the peace and love of God--in the reconciliation they needed.

Today is a day to ponder death as I am remembering that my father died seven years ago. This afternoon I am going to my next door neighbor's funeral. She was an elderly lady, born the same year as my dad, who lived in that house both times we lived in our house (1987-1991 and 1994-present) and before that even. While I am there, CB is singing in the choir for a funeral at our church, at a different service.

And now Margy's daughter is gone. When I was 41, my children were young (1-12 years old), my parents were still alive, and things seemed secure. I am sad Karen couldn't feel the same way through much of her life.

As a side note, I am comforted that some of my friends and I pray for each other's children. I believe love is a prayer, so we all are joining God's prayer when we love, whether we know it or not.

Quickie Picture Meme

From Fran, who first got it from Phydeaux, here's a silly meme:

1. Grab the nearest book - no matter what it is. Textbook, novel, pop-up book, building code study guide, whatever.
2. Turn to page 25.
3. Read the 10th word on that page, or the following if that one is blank.
4. Type that word into Google Image search.
5. Post the third image.
6. Tag 4 people and tell them.
7. Link back to this post - Which I do right here.

The book is Silence on Fire: The Prayer of Awareness by William H. Shannon and the word was "conversation."
Do this if you think it would be fun! (I'd like to see what you come up with, esp. Garlic or Salt).

Oblate School of Theology and Oblate Renewal Center

This is the front entrance to the Oblate School of Theology, where someday I may finally receive my Master's degree in Theology. I went part time there for over five years, "commuting" from Corpus Christi to San Antonio.

While at the retreat last week, I met a maintenance worker for both the school and the retreat center, Juan. He finally recognized me and asked me if I had gone to the school in years past. I was pleased that he remembered me, but I guess a middle-aged WOMAN stands out among all the male priests! I told him the only thing that had changed about me was that my hair had turned white. He told me his hair was white, too, but he dyed it!


The Oblate Renewal Center, which is on the same vast grounds as the Oblate School of Theology, in San Antonio, Tx. This is where I stayed for the retreat last week.

Statue of OMI priests on horseback, who "dare to do the undared." I think this is a representation of these priests in Texas around 1843. I was reminded of Fr. Kelly Nemeck, who wears a cowboy hat when he works around Lebh Shomea.

On the grounds between the school and the retreat center is the Grotto, patterned about Lourdes. Above it is this scene of the Virgin of Guadalupe and Juan Diego.

And here's just a picture showing how spring is coming to south Texas. We have short springs and LONG, long summers.

Look!

I salute you. I am your friend,
and my love for you goes deep.
There is nothing I can give you
which you have not. But there is much,
very much, that, while I cannot give it,
you can take. No heaven can come to us
unless our hearts find rest in it today.
Take heaven! No peace lies in the future
which is not hidden in this present little instant.
Take peace! The gloom of the world is but a
shadow. Behind it, yet within our reach,
is joy. There is radiance and glory
in darkness, could we but see.
And to see, we have only to look.
I beseech you to look!

~~Fra Giovanni Giocondo

Source: Part 1 from "Letter to a Friend," written on Christmas Eve, 1513

From Inward/Outward. Subscribe here.

WOW--Technology for the future (and now)

10 Things to Make You Happy

Ellie posted this at Child of Illusion.

She also said more info about this can found here.

Happy Valentine's Day!

"We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit."

~~e.e. cummings

Books on Mysticism

I am back from the Shalem retreat, which I will post about this weekend. It was providential for me.

I met someone who took an online course with (contemplative) Maggie Ross entitled "The Uses of Silence" several years ago. She magnanimously shared the bibliography from that course, which I am listing below.

I've read the first book recommended and found it extremely helpful in my prayer life. The others I look forward to someday reading.

Into the Silent Land by Martin Laird

The Paradox of Intention by Marvin Shaw

The Other Side of Nothingness by Beverly Lanzetta

The Luminous Eye by Sebastian Brock

The Mystical Languages of Unsaying by Michael A. Sells

Pillars of Flame by Maggie Ross

If you have read any of these books, please let me know about them!

Yet another retreat!

I will be in San Antonio at the Oblate Renewal Center from Monday until Friday, attending the Shalem Southwest Regional Gathering. The title for this retreat is "Radical Presence: The Ground of Spiritual Leadership."

Five women from our Friday Renovare Group are attending. One (Mary Tom) is helping to plan it!
Mary Tom is already there. I will be driving our three other friends (MJF, JS, and KK) in my car on Monday. We will return on Friday.

Mary Tom completed Shalem's Spiritual Guidance Program about ten years ago. I've almost finished that program, and JS is starting it. Another friend coming with us, MJF (whose husband Joe died last year) is starting Shalem's program about Leading Contemplative Prayer Groups and Retreats.

This is my third retreat since the New Year! It's a little embarrassing to say I'm going on another one--I've taken advantage of our Empty Nest, since our youngest daughter MJ left for college last fall. This retreat has been planned for a long time, since Mary Tom was one of the planners, which is the reason I'm going off again.

Monday

Savage Chickens