Hot Fudge Sauce!

MJ asked me if I would make our family's favorite hot fudge sauce tonight, so her boy friend CJS could try it. Of course, CB and I would like that, too!

This is such a good recipe that I give it to friends and to new brides and to anyone who wants it. I am going to share it here, as it is the BEST hot fudge sauce I have ever had. It is from an old Hershey Foods cookbook: Hershey's 1934 Cookbook. Ed. Josh Gaspero. Hershey foods Corporation: 1971. (p. 38)

Hot Fudge Sauce

Combine in a pan:
1/4 cup Hershey's cocoa
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 tsp. salt
1 Tbsp. cornstarch

Add and blend thoroughly:
1/2 cup light corn syrup
1/2 cup milk

Bring to a boil; boil 5 minutes.

Remove from heat; stir in
2 Tbsp. butter
2 tsp. vanilla

Cool, without stirring, until pan feels warm to hand. Serve.

Makes 1 1/2 cups sauce.

Tonight it was delicious!

Afternoon of waiting

I've been called to jury duty. Usually, I've gone in the morning, so I wait with many other people in a large room until about noon to be let go--and then call back for a few days. However, this time I must appear at 1:15 pm, so I assume that I will be waiting until 5 pm. That will be my afternoon, reading. I am taking two Dr. Siri mysteries along.

My friend NKE in CA told me that where she lives, they have computerized jury selections. When she is chosen to serve, she has to daily check in on the computer several times a day until she is told her status. That sounds easier.

Peace Arch Park

Son DC's picture of CB, Jan, and MJ
(the post behind CB marks the border between WA and Canada)

Whitney and Ashley

We just got back from an amazing event in Corpus Christi, TX: the celebration of a union of two women (who were legally married in Massachusetts in March). Their parents gave a lavish party, with frozen margaritas and lots of food--and lots of fun. There was a "mock" ceremony outside, which replicated the vows they said to each other in March. Then an aunt and uncle sang and played a song dedicated to Whitney and Ashley; the only words I can remember are that "their love interweaves us together." I like that.

There was so much joy and happiness radiating among the people that I was reminded of my son's wedding, which seemed just as happy. It was surprising that a few people came who are religiously opposed to gay marriage; they must have come as friends of the family. They did not act disapproving and were participating in the happiness shared. I'm glad.

May blessings of love and joy abound
in the lives of
Whitney and Ashley
forever.
Amen.

Wishin' and Hopin'

I spent too much time reading The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larsson this week. Oddly, it was a Christmas gift (from Terry and Dennis of Seattle) and I'd never gotten around to reading it until now. I've definitely been in "reading mode" since our vacation. This was a mystery that drew me in and kept me reading until the end. It could be classified close to the thriller genre, which makes me think that finally husband CB will like a book I recommend.

I had seen the following book at book stores in Seattle, but was not interested, because I hadn't read the first book. Immediately upon finishing Larsson's first mystery, I ordered the second, which I am waiting on.

That brought to mind that silly romantic song from the 1960's "Wishin' and Hopin'."

Now I am waiting for the UPS truck to drive up with that package, containing The Girl Who Played With Fire by Steig Larsson. (I'm glad our dinner is already simmering on the stove.)

This is how I'll spend this weekend, as the heat continues here in south TX--probably the 46th and 47th consecutive days of temperatures above 96 degrees F.

Friday Five: Rules

After a family vacation with our four children and three additional "partners," I am more aware of rules, spoken and unvoiced. Expectations are not always clearly expressed, but are still expected. . . . unbeknown to all unless one is not fulfilled! So how about writing about rules in your families and workplaces? Choose one or more for each category, especially if one seems odd or funny to you now.

1. Formal rules in family of origin
After I fractured my skull in first grade, an emphatic rule was NOT to dive into swimming pools. I did not learn to dive until junior high and was terrified to try for the first few times.

2. Unwritten and unspoken rules in family of origin
Don't cry--go into the bathroom and shut the door if you cry.

Get good grades, though my mother was always proud that she did not "pressure" me about grades.

Since I've been in recovery, I've realized that we practiced the rules of an alcoholic family:

• Don't talk
• Don't trust
• Don't feel

3. Formal rules in current family or workplace
Tell beforehand, where you will be or call and give that info, with some kind of a time period stated.

4. Unwritten rules in current family or workplace
You must like cottage cheese pancakes!

And I realized on the vacation we took on the WA beach that the formal #3 rule is now unspoken or unwritten, because my daughter's boy friend disappeared for almost five hours without telling anyone where he was going running. After three hours, we were very frightened. We were not sure where he was or how to reach him on this lonely beach next to an Indian reservation. Thankfully, he was found.

5. When was a time that you became aware of different rules in different places/families than your own?
I especially became aware of this when we returned from our vacation and the boy friend's dad laughed off the incident. Their family doesn't check in that often with each other. I think it involves both safety and respect for others.

When I was struggling with little sleep because I answered the cries of my toddlers, I realized that many families have their kids cry themselves to sleep so they will sleep through the night. Due to the influence of La Leche League on my parenting, I continued to hold and/or nurse my young ones until they went back to sleep. I believe trust is built this way.

Vacation Pictures

Lake Quinault, WA Rain Forest

AA and son DC, MJ and CJS
at Ballard Locks (in Seattle)

Rabbit totem in Pioneer Square, Seattle

DC coming out of fountain in downtown Seattle

View from rented house in Moclips, WA

Beach at Moclips, WA

CB and Jan at Ocean Crest Restaurant our last night in Moclips, WA

MJ, AA, DC, BJ, and CJS at Peace Arch Park (border between USA and Canada)

Happy as a clam?

This makes me think of our time on the Moclips beach in WA. Nine people together for three nights and four days; we were mostly happy. It was a fun time.

I brought back a bag of driftwood I collected there. Today I tried baking them in the oven, and oh, did the house stink! After complaints from CB (and myself, I must admit), I put them outside, where they still are laying on cookie sheets on the deck bench.

Back home!

We got back to hot Corpus Christi, TX last night. Today it was 99 degrees F. That's quite a shock after the lovely weather in WA State.

We had a wonderful time, which I will relate when I download pictures and have washed all the clothes (and completely unpacked).

Thank you for prayers for our sister-in-law Chris. Please keep them coming. There is good news about Dennis--the surgeon removed ALL the cancer when he cut out half of Dennis' liver.

And now I want to recommend these books that I read on our vacation:

The Help by Kathryn Stockett

This takes place in Jackson, Mississippi in the 1960's when the civil rights movement was gaining momentum in the USA and just before women's lib grew into consciousness. The voices of two black "help" and the Junior League ladies they serve, with one new college graduate wondering where she fits in contrast the attitudes prevalent at that time. This is excellent!

How to Be Good by Nick Hornby

This is a silly, but provocative, book about a female physician in London in a strained marriage with two children. Her husband has a spiritual conversion, and she struggles with his pious giving as she wonders what "being good" is. Is one only "good" in comparison to others? Is it necessary to have those "more" good or "less" good to gauge one's worth?

I Am the Messenger by Marcus Zusak

Since I loved reading The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak, I got this book for our vacation. I read it after MJ and devoured it. It is very easy reading, but is thought provoking. After a failed bank robbery, Ed becomes the messenger, recieving messages of his next mission via aces. Through acts of kindness to those around him, Ed is being led by the hand through a journey of self discovery and sometimes is helped with the advice of pie eating hit-men. The ending is unexpected.

The Coroner's Lunch by Colin Cotterill

I gave this book to my son BJ for his birthday in April, but he never wanted to read it. He brought it along on our vacation trip for me. It is the first book in a series of mysteries about a Laotian doctor who is 72 years old in 1970's Laos, after the Communist takeover. It was interesting about the locale and time period, as well as good character development of the various people involved. I am going to read the four other books in this series.

Prayers needed!

At the end of a my husband's family's barbecue, with 25 people attending, his brother took a few of us aside to tell us that his wife has a recurrence of breast cancer. It has been 12 years since she was first diagnosed and suddenly there is cancer in various organs. It is a shock, as she looks and feels great.

Please, oh, please pray for Chris.

Bellingham, WA in fun and sadness

With recent trips to Seattle, where I am again, and Canada, my blogging has been infrequent, and my visits to other blogs even less. Suddenly I am learning that Fran and Jaliya are taking breaks, and I wonder who else. . . . as I seem to be doing the same.

We had a busy three days in Seattle, doing lots of sightseeing and even saw a play on Capital Hill where the daughter of one of my oldest friends was the star. It was good to see Dennis getting a little more active, though he still gets fatigued easily. My kids had two long, long visits with him on Friday and Saturday, which seemed to energize and tire him at the same time. I'm so glad they love him and Terry.

Now we're at CB's parents' house in Bellingham, WA. Today is the summer family barbecue and reunion of all CB's siblings and their children. One great-grandchild is coming; she's one year old. CB has two sisters and one brother, so this is a large clan gathering. We bring nine, counting MJ's boy friend CS. Approximately 25 will be here.

After a dinner at Chuck's sister's house last night, I was suddenly and unexpectedly struck with grief, having none of my own family around at all. Since I was an only child, my dad was an only child, and my mother had just one sister, I have no family left in Bellingham. (You may recall that I have a distant cousin Margaret in Calgary, Canada.)

I am sad that my children's partners will only know CB's family, hearing stories of their past. Yes, I can tell a few tales of my family, but the children are not seeing the places or anyone else remembering them, like CB's siblings. It's just the way it is. This is reality, which I am re-learning to accept. . . .and am surprised that I have this to do all over again.

Seattle again!

Different airlines are taking my family and me to Seattle this week. Six of us are flying to Seattle on Tuesday (from either Corpus Christi or Austin), and only BJ is flying on Friday (from Houston).

Friends Terry and Dennis and daughters AE and KA are being generously hospitable by opening their homes for us to stay with them. Even after Dennis' major surgery, he and Terry want CB and me to stay with them. AE and KA are inviting four of our young adults to stay with them.

The weather is cooling down in Seattle, so our time there may be more typically rainy and cool. We will see. . . .

Our trip is divided into three parts, oddly going north then southwest. First we'll be in Seattle, then up to Bellingham to visit CB's family, and after that we'll spend a few days in Moclips, which is on the coast north of Aberdeen.

Holding On

My friend Nancy commented on the post Living to Die about something Madeleine L'Engle wrote in her book The Rock That Is Higher.

In "The Rock That Is Higher", which my Bible study group is reading right now, in the first chapter, Madeleine L'Engle writes about being in a car accident:

"The ancient words of the Jesus Prayer, 'Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me,' surfaced in my mind. They have been with me for many years, like a deep, inner fountain. When I wake up in the night they are there--those strong, affirming words. They were with me as I sat in the crumpled car."

Later, in the hospital: "The Jesus Prayer was still with me, a strong rope to which I held like a sailor fallen from a ship."

And: "My only prayer was the Jesus Prayer and that was there for me because it has been part of my inner rhythm for many years, the prayer that fulfills Paul's exhortation to pray constantly, at all times, and in all places."

76 Trombones!

Living to Die

Psalm 51:10-12

51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me.

51:11 Do not cast me away from your presence, and do not take your holy spirit from me.

51:12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and sustain in me a willing spirit.

During our weekly lectio divina group on Wednesday, this scripture brought me to a deeper understanding of the concept of "living to die." Or as the medieval Book of the Craft of Dying states: "Learn to die and thou shall learn how to live. There shall none learn how to live that hath not learned to die" (Sogyal Rinpoche).

I thought of how any of these phrases could be a breath prayer, a habitual mantra-like saying for me. I truly desire a "willing spirit," so I wish to ask God to "sustain in me a willing spirit." Do I want this enough to pray for it?

Thus I remembered how a habitual prayer practice of a verse, a word, or a phrase from a hymn can remind one of God's presence. A calm spirit will replace anxiety or anger when such is prayed. I remember reading that the Dalai Lama recommended that each person have such a practice so that one can be reminded of it when one is dying, ill and/or agitated.

In fact, Christine Longaker writes about this in her book Facing Death and Finding Hope: A Guide to the Emotional and Spiritual Care of the Dying:

"Above all, we can encourage our dying loved one to identify a spiritual practice--a special prayer meditation, hymn, or scriptural reading--that inspires her with confidence and strength. Regularly doing an inspiring practice, especially if she is suffering, will focus the energy of her heart and mind in a positive way and help to rekindle her devotion and trust. The sacred inspiration of this continual prayer or meditation may begin to pervade her every waking and sleeping moment, and this is an excellent way to prepare for death. And, if her family, friends, or caregivers do this practice with her whenever they visit, they will feel more prepared at the moment of her death--more inspired to let her go, peacefully and with love." (115-116)

Sometime ago, I read how someone's mother was ill with Alzheimer's and often became restlessly anxious. When her son reminded her of the 23rd Psalm, "The Lord is my shepherd" by soothingly repeating it, his mother would grow more peaceful. This was a practice that helped both of them and was a way for him to show his love for his mother.

Last week in Seattle, at times Terry or Dennis would be overwhelmed by anxiety or anger. That is natural in times of illness and stress. Few people are taught how to cope with extenuating circumstances, which I only realized in retrospect during the lectio divina time.

Ecknath Easwaran writes in Dialogue With Death: A Journey Through Consciousness:

"Whatever your physical situation, your mind can help you to deal with it if you train your mind to be forgiving, compassionate, calm, and kind. 'You can no better friend,' the Buddha says, 'than a well-trained mind--and no worse enemy than an untrained mind.'" (75)

With greater awareness, each of us could short circuit extreme emotions with a phrase, even like "This will pass." Don't you remember how people used to say "count to 10" before acting on anger? Creating a habit of reminding oneself of love or peace could bring more serenity into one's life, even if one is not actually ill or dying.

Blogging just stuff

• Not too regularly lately, especially not visiting blogging friends. (sorry)

• It was 94 degrees in Seattle today and 90 here when I checked at 6 pm.

• Dennis is home and is in a lot of pain. He is staying in the basement with his two Samoyeds because it is so hot in Seattle.

• MJ gave a presentation on her chemistry research at Trinity University today. Tomorrow she will come home!

• On Tuesday, CB, MJ, MJ's boy friend CS, and I will fly to Seattle again. This is our family vacation that has been planned for months and months. Son DC and wife AA will fly from Austin also. Son BJ will fly from Houston on Friday night. NINE of us will be traveling together, once BJ joins us.

• During last week's trip to Seattle, I read The Help by Kathryn Stockett, which I highly recommend. It takes place in Mississippi in 1962 and contrasts the society ladies and their black "help."

• On the trip home on Wednesday, I read a book loaned to me by daughter AE--Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris. I kept laughing out loud!

• I am in the midst of a blogging post about a connection I found in lectio divina with Dennis' situation, so that will come up before I leave.
  

Hotter in Seattle than TX!

It is so hot that. . . . .

We're glad to be home, but poor Seattle-ites are enduring shocking heat. It was 103 degrees F. today. I cannot imagine how hot everyone is, as few people have air conditioners.

Seattle was 7 degrees hotter than us in way down south TX--in Corpus Christi.

CB's Birthday in Seattle

Today is CB's birthday, last one before 60. That will be me in three more months. No wonder I have white hair! We are having dinner with daughters AE and KA tonight, along with Terry, at an Indian restaurant in the U District of Seattle.

This morning we trekked from the University of Washington Medical Center uphill to the UW campus, so we could find where AE works. Eventually, she met us in Red Square. It was a pretty walk, though sweaty since Seattle is having 90 degree F. highs this week.

Dennis is coming along, though the pain is severe. Today he is supposed to walk down the hospital hallway four times, but when we last saw him at noon, he had not done so yet. The surgeon told him that he hoped he had gotten all the cancer from his liver, which sounds hopeful.

Tomorrow morning we fly back to (hot) TX from (hot) WA. We fly to San Antonio, where MJ will meet us at the airport with our car. She kept it at her school, so we didn't have to pay airport parking fees. And exactly one week from this trip, we'll travel back to Seattle for our scheduled family vacation, this time with all our children.

Successful Surgery!

Dennis' surgery went extremely well. In four hours, they removed 50% of his liver and scraped cancer off the other lobe. He is doing well. The next 2-3 days are the most important in that infection or bleeding can easily occur, especially connected with the liver.

Please keep him in your prayers.

The day before Seattle

Son DC and Sampson

I am in the midst of packing my suitcase to go to Seattle tomorrow, while son DC plays on the Wii (that he brought from home) and his dog Sampson dozes.

It's been a busy day, as all days are before trips. It started out abruptly because Terry tearfully called me from Seattle to say that Dennis was unresponsive. Immediately jumping into her panic, I remembered how my mother went into a coma before she died of pancreatic cancer--so maybe this would also be the case for liver cancer? The medics and firefighters arrived and took his vital signs, reviving him. It was learned that he accidentally took an extra pill the night before. With his liver compromised by the tumor, it could not process the chemicals.

Dennis stayed sleepy all day. Fortunately, he is physically stable and will still have the surgery on Friday, July 24. The surgeon told them today that the plan is to remove 50% of his liver.

DC and Sampson arrived yesterday, so DC's truck dent could be fixed and painted by someone here, who is proficient and very reasonable. The truck will probably be ready sometime tomorrow, so the two boys will return to Austin sometime in the afternoon.

DC and I went to see the new "Harry Potter" movie in the late afternoon. He had already seen it with his wife, but came with his mom today. I'm so glad I got to see it. It was very well done, though I disliked a few changes towards the end. The actors have matured greatly in their acting abilities. Draco really grew tall!

A friend is staying in our house to take care of our dogs and cat while we are in Seattle for the next week. Our pets will be happier once Sampson is gone. I think our cat is jealous, because today she left a pile in front of the chair where I meditate every day. . . .

AND it's hot up there, too--upper 80s for high temperatures, and most places do not have air conditioning. It's near 100 degrees here in Corpus, but we can stay inside with our air conditioner running.