s l o w i n g down

I am getting sick of my computer. I've been avoiding it with my arm in the sling, partly because it is more difficult to access with my arm in the sling AND partly because the computer is SO slow. Ever since Norton updated its security system, my computer gets slower and slower. Norton always seems to be doing a complete scan, even though we have unchecked those boxes on the Norton program.

It is frustrating, because I am used to quicker responses. Sometimes I sit for prolonged periods for actions to occur, even at times trying to delete one email! My Ipod Touch reacts more promptly than this pc.

I guess it is good for me to spend less time on the computer. With February approaching, I will be writing a note or postcard--with more (free) time to do so!

Counting Down!

Only two more weeks until I can stop wearing the sling that has been my constant companion since Jan. 4. Counting down from two weeks feels so much more positive than from 6, 5, and 4 weeks!

Soon this black accessory will not be part of my wardrobe. Yay!

My Sling and Me

I am living with this shoulder immobilizing sling almost 24 hours a day for six weeks, ever since my shoulder surgery on Jan. 4. This weekend we got the bill for the sling, and it cost $190!! So it costs about $4.50 per day of wearing it. (Thankfully, our insurance paid for most of it.)

My friend Nancy wondered what it was like, so tonight husband CB took pictures:




The whole point is to keep my elbow close to my body, which that does. On Valentine's Day, I'll be able to stop wearing it!

Hafiz: Tripping Over Joy

What is the difference
Between your experience of Existence
And that of a saint?

The saint knows
That the spiritual path
Is a sublime chess game with God

And that the Beloved
Has just made such a Fantastic Move

That the saint is now continually
Tripping over Joy
And bursting out in Laughter
And saying, "I Surrender!"

Whereas, my dear,
I am afraid you still think

You have a thousand serious moves.

Ladinsky, Daniel. I Heard God Laughing: Renderings of Hafiz. Point Richmond, CA: Paris Printing, 1996. 127.

Newt

From two years ago, but just as true today. . . .

Friday Five: Odds and Ends

Sally brings today's Friday Five for RevGalBlogPals:

I have had a ridiculously busy week so apologies for the fact that this is rushed and even a bit late, but here goes, even in the busyness of the week what has

1. Inspired you
In our Lectio Divina group, a member shared about teaching a yoga class for disabled adults. One man can rarely do the poses and so lies flat on his back. At her last yoga class, the teacher said she looked at this man and felt overwhelming love for him, the same love that God has for each of us.

2. Challenged you
I was challenged this past Sunday to attend a meeting of Christ Centered Prayer facilitators at my church and admit to them that I do not believe that the books that go along with this way of prayer are the highest authority. I am not very good at confrontations and usually avoid them at all costs. By only talking about my own feelings, the meeting went well and I left early with the agreement that I would no longer lead a Christ Centered Prayer Group. I feel very peaceful about this and know that it was the right thing to do at this time.

3. Made you smile
Pictures of my granddaughter looking at dogs at PetSmart:


4. Made you cross/ made you want to weep
A few days ago I started having an RA flare, with the joints of both hands swelling and reddening, plus exhaustion returning. This was three weeks after my shoulder surgery, when I had to stop taking the RA medicine for several weeks. I had not had a flare since I started the combination of Humira shots and methotextrate pills in October, so it was both painful and disappointing to have RA symptoms return. It is understandable though, after the stress of surgery and the disruption in my meds. My rheumatologist advised me to take prednisone (a steroid) until the pain subsides, which is starting to happen.

5.Kept you going?
Friends and family and seeing my physical therapist three times a week. Yesterday I saw the orthopedic surgeon, who told me that on Valentine's Day I can stop wearing the sling!! I am definitely encouraged and am on the downhill count to that day (with less than three weeks to go).

Letter Writing Challenge!

My daughter AE in Seattle sent me a link to the "A Month of Letters Challenge."

I have actually signed up to do this for the month of February! I've always loved snail mail, and since my shoulder surgery I have gotten much more in my mailbox. So I am encouraged to do the same for my friends.

Here is the challenge:Last September, I took a month off from the internet. During my vacation, I told people that they could correspond with me by paper letter. Some people did. Some people still are. Every letter delights me.

When I write back, I find that I slow down and write differently than I do with an email. Email is all about the now. Letters are different, because whatever I write needs to be something that will be relevant a week later to the person to whom I am writing. In some ways it forces me to think about time more because postal mail is slower. “By the time you get this…” It is relaxing. It is intimate. It is both lasting and ephemeral.

How so? I find that I will often read the letters that I receive twice. Once when I get them and again as I write back. So, that makes it more lasting. It is more ephemeral because I don’t have copies of the letters that I write and I am the only one who has copies of the letters that my correspondents write. So, more ephemeral.

When was the last time you got a letter in the mail? December sees a lot of mail and you remember that sense of delight when the first card arrives. You can have that more often.

I have a simple challenge for you.

1. In the month of February, mail at least one item through the post every day it runs. Write a postcard, a letter, send a picture, or a cutting from a newspaper, or a fabric swatch.
2. Write back to everyone who writes to you. This can count as one of your mailed items.

All you are committing to is to mail 24 items. Why 24? There are four Sundays and one US holiday. In fact, you might send more than 24 items. You might develop a correspondence that extends beyond the month. You might enjoy going to the mail box again.

Feeling intimidated? It’s fewer words than NaNoWriMo and I know how many of you do that. Join me in The Month of Letters Challenge.

Sincerely yours,

Mary Robinette Kowal

How about you? Even a postcard or a picture will count!

In Beauty May I Walk

Today in the Wisdom Class, long-time member Dora told us about an Indian prayer for beauty that she says every day as she rides her bike. She said that this prayer helps her to pay more attention to what is around her.

I found this in a Google search, and it sounds something like Dora told us today:

In beauty may I walk.
All day long may I walk.
Through the returning seasons may I walk.

Beautifully will I possess again.
Beautifully birds . . .
Beautifully joyful birds

On the trail marked with pollen may I walk.
With grasshoppers about my feet may I walk.
With dew about my feet may I walk.

With beauty may I walk.
With beauty before me, may I walk.
With beauty behind me, may I walk.
With beauty above me, may I walk.
With beauty below me, may I walk.
With beauty all around me, may I walk.

In old age wandering on a trail of beauty, lively, may I walk.
In old age wandering on a trail of beauty, living again, may I walk.

It is finished in beauty.
It is finished in beauty.

A Navajo Indian Prayer of the Second Day of the Night Chant (anonymous)

Found here.

New book!

Mudhouse Sabbath: An Invitation to a Life of Spiritual Discipline by Lauren F. Winner is going to be the next book we are reading in the weekly Wisdom Class book study at my church. It is an easy and enjoyable book to read, which will probably be a relief to the class members after the studious book by Crossan and Borg that we are just finishing up: The First Christmas.

The author was brought up as an Orthodox Jew and converted to Christianity while she was in college. In this book she writes about practices she misses from Judaism and how she could possibly fit them into her Christian life. It raises good questions for all of us, but in a surprisingly deep way. I am pleased that questions for a book study be found here.

In the introduction, Winner writes:

"It (this book) is, to be blunt, about spiritual practices that Jews do better. It is, to be blunter, about Christian practices that would be enriched, that would be thicker and more vibrant, if we took a few lessons from Judaism. It is ultimately about places where Christians have some things to learn.


"Jews do these things with more attention and wisdom not because they are more righteous nor become God likes them better, but rather because doing, because action, sits at the center of Judaism. Practice is to Judaism what belief is to Christianity. That is not to say that Judaism doesn't have dogma or doctrine. It is rather to say that for Jews, the essence of the thing is a doing, an action. Your faith might come and go, but your practice ought not waver. (Indeed, Judaism suggests that the repeating of the practice is the best way to ensure that doubter's faith will return.)" (ix)

Dear Friends

Fan and Joe, dear friends who now live in Colorado, sent me these beautiful tulips this week. They arrived on Wednesday, the second day of my "pitiful me" time, a perfect gift at the time I needed it most. They still look bright and cheery on our kitchen table.

I am lucky to have such dear friends like Joe and Fan, who continue to send me cards and emails, give me rides, and even bring me food. Just today my longest-enduring-friend of Corpus Christi, Lisa, brought us dinner and stayed and visited awhile. Bringing along memories with her, she made us a pasta casserole from the old La Leche League cookbook that was published in 1982.

Another friend stopped by my house on her way to get her hair cut. Since she comes a long distance, I appreciate her taking the time so that we could sit together outside for a short chat.

And always on call is my dear husband, without whom I would not get dressed every day!

I am rich in friends and loved ones. How can I feel sorry for myself when I am so fortunate? (Plus, I am feeling better!)

Moving Slowly, even with Friday Five

Since the shoulder surgery, I've felt sluggish (snail-ish?) as I am not moving quickly while keeping my right arm and shoulder still. This continues even with the TRIUMPH of driving again--it is a slow process, especially getting in and out of the car, starting and stopping, etc.

This is a lesson in attentiveness: Having the sling always on to keep my right elbow next to my body, I must reach over with my left hand to put the key in the ignition and turn it on, then put my seat belt on, and finally move the center gear shift. This is a seemingly long process, as well as driving without making left turns (if possible)! Yesterday I drove to the library and today I drove to physical therapy. Yay! It is more stressful than I'd anticipated, but a good step forward.

Just like typing on the computer, my arm is in the sling. It is helpful that the keyboard is on a ledge below the desktop or it would be more difficult to type with both hands. But my computer has been exceedingly slow since the installation of the latest update of Norton, which keeps scanning my computer throughout the day, no matter how its controls are set.

Thus I was late setting up the RevGalBlogPals Friday Five today--it was a hurried job, because I always forget how long it takes me to get dressed and showered these days--with my husband's help, which I greatly appreciate but the time is surely doubled. Then I only had ten minutes to write the Friday Five for day, which extended into the Renovare Meeting that meets every Friday at my house at 8 am. . . .because the computer kept going so s l o w l y.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So here's my belated FRIDAY FIVE, which is about MOVIES:

Thinking of movie-watching, what do you prefer?

1. At home or at a theater?
I see more movies at home, because my husband would rather not go out to the theater. I love to see movies at a theater, which happens more frequently when one of my kids are home and they'll go with me.

2. With whom?
In recent years, I've gone to movies more often with my youngest daughter MJ, but this year she will graduate from college and won't be home for as many vacations as previously. A few days before my shoulder surgery, my husband surprised me by taking me to see "The Descendents."

3. Movie you look forward to seeing?
Over Christmas (when I was sick with the flu), the kids went to see the second Sherlock Holmes movie, which I would still like to see. I would like to see "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo", and maybe "Haywire." The previews for "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" make me want to see it, but I haven't read any reviews of it and Rotten Tomatoes only rates it at 50%, which isn't so good.

4. Movie you like to see repeatedly?
Husband CB likes to watch movies that are recurring on the various cable channels, so it seems like some are seen frequently, like the Bourne movies. Last night I watched the last half of "The King's Speech," which I enjoyed. Some movies I don't want to see a second time, such as "The Descendents." Oddly, I like watching the "Kill Bill" movies, which is probably why I want to see "Haywire."

5. Food with a movie?
Popcorn with no butter.

Bonus: Recommendations for home/theater viewing.
If you haven't seen "Kinky Boots," you should rent it! It's a funny British comedy.

Gratitude

"Gratitude is a quality similar to electricity;
it must be produced and discharged and used up
in order to exist at all."

~~William Faulkner

With thanks to my friend Pam who gave the Sunday School class on "gratitude." This is where she also recommended looking at your least-favorite event in your life and trying to turn it around to discern what in it brings forth gratitude.

Trying to remember

Synchronicity

Last night I visited Catherine's blog from Oregon and found a beautiful poem by someone who goes to my church in Texas! In fact, Chuck Shamel sings in the choir with my husband, and his wife sits right behind me every Sunday in church. It turns out that Catherine (the Oregon blogger) does not know him, but she and I are friends (through blogging and some letter-writing) and so we are the connection with him (and the poem) in this odd, synchronistic way. Thank you, Catherine!

Lightbearer

Jesus, I call upon the power in Your name
to see the way my path must surely lead,
to heal the sick, to tend and feed your flock.
Christ, you are the Lord who calls us to make peace,
to strive for justice daily in your world,
to use your gifts of wisdom, patience, hope,
to be the servant-bearer of the Light.
Spirit, we worship you in truth and holiness.
We seek new ways to make the message clear,
to praise, confess, forgive and show your love
in breaking bread and sharing of our cup.

~~Chuck Shamel

My Pity Party

Today a friend presented the word "gratefulness" in our Sunday School class time. She recommended looking at your least-favorite event in your life and trying to turn it around to discern what in it brings forth gratitude.

Instead, I am going to list all the things that are bothering me right now, most of which pertain to my shoulder surgery. Maybe this will get it out of my system. So skip my whining, if you'd like.

• I am right-handed, so it is hard to do almost everything with my left hand.
• I cannot dress myself, so I am lucky that I have a husband around to help.
• I cannot even put on my bra by myself. In fact, it is often painful to get it on and off with my right arm being manipulated.
• I cannot drive the car yet, but I have a willing husband and friends who offer to help.
• The only pair of pants I have to wear is a pair of black pull-ons. I tried to wear jeans yesterday, but couldn't zip and button them on my own.
• It is difficult to be dressed for cold weather, because my arm in a jacket does not fit comfortably in the sling. So I have my left arm in the sweater/jacket, with it draped over my right shoulder. It is a good thing I live in TX, so it is not as cold as elsewhere.
• I have to wear the sling to bed and all day long--ALL THE TIME and will have to wear it for SIX weeks! (1 1/2 weeks down. . . .)
• I cannot raise my arm and let it hang down. In fact, I am supposed to support it all the time it is not in the sling, which is seldom.
  
• It is very difficult and slow to brush and floss my teeth, and it doesn't seem like I am doing it well enough.
  
• I cannot blow dry my hair, so my husband partially dries it and then we let it air dry.
• It is really hard to put mascara on with my left hand, especially onto my right eye!
• I cannot hang clothes on the clothesline.
• Going to bed is the worst time of the day, because it is hard to get comfortable, especially because the incision is on the back of my shoulder, which is also where the torn muscle is.
• I cannot go to my aerobic swimming classes.
• Being so much stiller than usual gets me wanting to eat and munch. I'm better when husband CB cuts an apple up for me to eat.
  

Surgery to repair the infraspinatus muscle was done on Jan. 4 by an excellent orthopedic surgeon, who removed the staples from the three incisions three days ago. He and the physical therapist have both stressed that I must keep my right elbow close to my body and not raise my arm or let it hang down. Pam, the physical therapist, told me to think of the injury as a fracture, because when the muscle was ripped from the bone, it took some of the bone with it. I guess I can understand the importance of keeping the shoulder still if I think of it as a fractured bone.

I am fortunate to have a good surgeon and that I already had the surgery. The pain is lessening. I know I am getting better; it just seems SLOW!

Friday Five: Recommendations

Revkjarla brings today's Friday Five for RevGalBlogPals:

1. Recommend a favorite worship resource or devotional book.
Just today a friend reminded me of Thomas Keating's Daily Reader for Contemplative Living.
I really like the various email subscriptions I have, especially the quotes I get from:

• Gratefulness.org
• Inward/Outward
• also look under my label of email subscriptions
  

2. Recommend a blog that you like to read that you think others might find enjoyable.
For book recommendations (for all ages and interests) I like to read Bonnie's Books.
Blue Eyed Ennis is a prolific blogger of inspirational quotes, videos, songs and more.

3. Recommend a fiction book that you think people might like.
Since my shoulder surgery last week, all I am doing is reading Charlie Moon mysteries by James D. Doss from the library. IF you enjoyed the Hunger Games, you'll probably like the novel Divergent by Veronica Roth.

4. Recommend a favorite recipe website. O.k., if you aren't into cooking or food, then just recommend a random website that you find useful, hilarious, mind numbing or thought provoking.
Recipes at Cookin Canuck. For vegetarian recipes Rainy Day Veggies--by my two daughters in Seattle!

5. And for the last recommendation--it's bloggers' choice! Make a recommendation for anything!
Handbound books Watermark Bindery.

The Joy of Books!

I was overjoyed to find the video with dancing and moving books (please click below!) and then my son posted this darling picture of Avery with all her books scattered around--I'm glad the love of books continues to grow in our family!

Breathtaking Presence

With more awareness we may discover
that small gaps in our daily round
can be places of silence. These are the found times
or rather the moments in which we ourselves are found.

Mostly they come when we are waiting:
in the doctor's office, on the telephone,
in traffic jams and the checkout line.

In just those moments we have an opportunity
to turn our attention to our physical being,
to the rhythm of our breath,
to the texture and feel of things around us.

By noticing particulars we can also begin
to notice the space in which they are held. . .
the vastness that holds everything--
the great lap of silence.

These waiting moments in our daily round
can turn out to be treasures. We can allow them
to support us instead of distracting us
or blocking us.

Here in each day is a wealth of time
we can take advantage of. They are breath breaks.
If we learn to rest and renew in them
our lives will go from disconnection and haste
to breathtaking presence.

~~Gunilla Norris

Norris, Gunila. Inviting Silence: Universal Principles of Meditation. Blue Bridge: NY, 2004. 21-22.

My Bridesmaids December 21, 1971

I sent this picture to all four of my bridesmaids last month. I used to think this was a silly, posed picture, but now I am surprised to see how young and pretty we all looked so long ago.

These women are still my good friends. They are Nance, Nancy, Terry, and Jennifer. Three still live in Washington State and one lives in California. I'm the only one who moved away from the west coast and have now lived in Texas longer than anywhere else I ever lived.

Checking In

I tried to post on the Kindle Fire I received for Christmas, but found typing on a new post impossible for an unknown reason. I tentatively tried to type just now on my computer, mainly because my orthopedic surgeon told me it would be possible--and it's easier than I had anticipated. Still, I am glad I pre-posted until Jan. 10 and kind of wished I'd done more planning ahead!

Surgery was Wednesday. Thursday was a very difficult day as I was in a lot of pain, which is what the anesthesiologist warned me would happen once the nerve block wore off. Whew--did I plummet into pain! Friday was a little better, and today I felt even less pain.

My husband removed the bandage dressings to reveal a longer incision (about 5 inches) than I had expected, though probably was previously instructed. I am glad I did not know about that earlier than today! CB then applied waterproof bandaids and helped me to take a shower. Yay!

Monday I go to my first physical therapy session, which I guess will be passive exercise. And Thursday I will see Dr. D. again.

During this recuperative time, I am mostly reading. I've read two more Charlie Moon mysteries (Grandmother Spider and White Shell Woman) by James D. Doss and a mystery in an ancient secret sext in Turkey entitled Sanctus by Simon Toyne. Not being able to sleep much the first two nights helped me to read more of these reserved library books I had stored up.

Living Gratefully

There are many things to be grateful "for" but,
as I ripen with the seasons of life,
the many reasons blend into a sacred mystery.
And, most deeply, I realize that living gratefully is its own blessing.

Michael Mahoney

To receive such quotations every day, subscribe to Word for the Day at Gratefulness.org.

Mother and Child

Statue at The Hermitage
Saint Petersburg, Russia

Jesus' Message

My friend Paige (whose husband did my shoulder surgery) gave me a book for Christmas that I will soon be reading: The Emergent Christ: Exploring the Meaning of Catholic in an Evolutionary Universe by Ilia Delio (only $9.99 in the Kindle edition). When I had first expressed interest in this book, I had not noticed its subtitle relating to Catholicism.

Thus, when I glanced through it, I was struck by a heading--"Was Jesus Catholic?" Since Jesus was not even a "Christian," I was interested in this section. And here is a short part that hit me (where I agreed!):

". . .If we are to draw a connection between the word catholic and the mission of Jesus, we would have to rely on its root meaning, 'according to the whole,' for what Jesus preached was not a church defending itself in the face of opposition but the in-breaking reign of God. Based on what we know from the Gospels we can make several inferences: Jesus was not a 'catholic" but a Jew, and the reign of God preached by Jesus was not a universal concept to be mandated but a change in lifestyle and direction. The central message of Jesus, the reign of God is a subtle and powerful reality far more dynamic than any kind of realm we can conceive. Mark Hathaway and Leonardo Boff write that the actual word Jesus used in Aramaic to speak of God's reign--malkuta--is 'much more similar to the concept of the Tao or to the Buddhist Dharma than to any kind of kingdom we might imagine.' 'The word's roots,' they write, 'elicit the image of a fruitful arm poised to create, or a coiled spring that is ready to unwind with all the verdant potential of the earth.' Malkuta connotes an 'empowering vision based on the divine presence in the cosmos, liberating and empowering a process toward communion, differentiation and interiority.' What broke through in the person of Jesus was a new consciousness and relatedness to God that ushered in the world a new way of being God-centered, earth-centered, and in communion with one another." (62)

(The book quoted in what I quoted is The Tao of Liberation: Exploring the Ecology of Transformation by Mark Hathaway and Leonardo Boffo.)

There are too many books I want/need to read!!

Today's shoulder surgery

This afternoon I am having surgery to repair the infraspinatus muscle of the rotator cuff of my right shoulder. This is from the inept descending/falling from the top bunk on the Russian train to Saint Petersburg on Nov. 8. Since I am so right-dominant, I may not be posting much in the near future, but we'll see how proficient the hunt-and-peck mode is with my left hand!

I never knew that the rotator cuff was made up of different muscles. If you are interested, you can see that the hot pink muscle (infraspinatus) is the one I tore.


This is day surgery, so I will be home tonight.

God's Image

Yixing Tea Pot

Every time we visit Seattle, we walk through Pike Place Market. When MJ and I did this last summer, I fell in love with a lovely tea shop called The Perennial Tea Room. Besides a fine stock of teas, they displayed lovely tea pots. I fell in love with the Yixing ones and bought a red one for my good friend Nancy and a green one for me. (We both opened them on Christmas.)

These teapots are unglazed and thus need to be "seasoned" before use. The Perennial Tea Room enclosed a copy of the seasoning method they prefer, which I am doing right now. First, it is boiled in water for an hour and later in a pot of the tea to be used in it. I am going to use English Breakfast black tea, so my green pot will be dedicated to this type of tea. Nancy has already seasoned hers.

first boiling of my tea pot

"Yixing teapots absorb a tiny amount of tea into the pot during brewing. After prolonged use, the pot will develop a coating that retains the flavor and color of the tea. It is for this reason that soap should not be used to clean Yixing teapots. Instead, it should be rinsed with fresh water and allowed to air-dry. A studious tea connoisseur will only steep one type of tea in a particular pot, so as not to corrupt the flavor that has been absorbed.

"Traditionally, some Chinese would pour the tea from the spout directly into their mouths."

Happy New Year!