Today Banff!

Today we'll be going to Banff from Calgary. We're borrowing my cousin's son's van, and I am driving three others to Banff this afternoon. Right now, they are rushing around packing as I sit at the dining room table looking out on the lush green leaves of poplar aspen trees.

As a recap, I am visiting my cousin Margaret, who is 20 years older than I am. She was a cousin of my mother, who was also named "Margaret." Margaret has five grown children. Her eldest daughter Beth tragically died about four years ago in Pittsburgh, leaving her young daughter (also named "Margaret") Meg. Meg got to Calgary yesterday with her mother's best friend, so she could be here for the wedding of her aunt (cousin Margaret's daughter). These are the three people I will be driving to Banff.

The wedding is at a meadow at 4:30 on Wednesday afternoon. The big question seems to be: What type of shoes to wear to the wedding? The reception is in a big hotel at 6 pm. So there will probably be time to change one's shoes!

My "wedding shoes" are the ones I bought three years ago for my son DC's wedding to AA. They are only worn for weddings, as they have rhinestones and little heels. But they wouldn't be good in a meadow.

Maybe getting unstuck

Here I am sitting in the bedroom of my cousin's house in Calgary, with the window open and cool air floating in. What a contrast this is to being in TX with the heat wave that's going on there--only recycled air conditioned air in our home.

I was wondering whether to write about something that happened at the "Demystifying Mysticism" conference and only decided to do so after checking my email and finding a zenhabits article on "The Most Powerful Way to Get Unstuck." So here is what happened in San Antonio earlier this week:

The first night I was there, I was excited to see one of my favorite professors, Father M, who is from India and knows at least five languages. He was a severe and demanding instructor, and I loved his classes. It was funny at the oral final for the second class of his, he was disappointed to learn I was not Catholic and told me that I was "more Catholic than most of the other students." (I think he just meant that I learned well.)

Anyway, he hugged me and we chatted. I had not seen him for 3-4 years and he still remembered my name. He told me how the school was discussing why so many lay people in the master's of theology program never finished their degrees. That's me--never have written the three scholarly papers. Fr. M. said he was helping two students to finish their degrees.

Later I mentioned this to one of the assistant deans of the school, and she advised me to talk to the school's head dean. When I asked about maybe Fr. M helping me, she said that was a possibility because he recently retired. BUT later that evening, she told me she'd talked to him, and Fr. M said he didn't want to cross the MAth's advisor (always the same man).

I had been so excited by these encounters, only to feel my hopes dashed. For three years I have not written the papers and have had no contact with the advisor, who always seemed indifferent to me, possibly as I'm a Protestant lay woman. I know I was not assertive enough or motivated to pursue it, but I would have appreciated someone who was interested in me.

After praying, I decided to write Fr. M a letter, because conversations were difficult with the hundreds of people attending the conference. I wrote him a three-page handwritten letter, asking him to consider becoming my advisor. I said I would talk to the president and the MAth advisor if he agreed. I gave him my email address and two phone numbers and asked him to contact me.

I felt good about that, especially as I also told him how much he'd increased my faith life. Fr. M is the one who told me about Karl Rahner's teaching that the perceived absence of God is really the PRESENCE of God. He thanked me for the letter when I gave it to him, but I have not heard from him--though that was only three days ago.

At least, I took some action for a change. Irregardless of the outcome, I was blessed with Fr. M remembering me and our connection while talking.

I'm in Calgary!

I made it here and even have my cousin's new computer in my bedroom. I'll stay here for three nights, before moving to someone else's house. Then a computer will not be as easily accessible.

We'll be going to Banff on Tuesday as the wedding will be on Wednesday.

My sweet cousins are asking me what I want to do this weekend; they feel like they should entertain me. I don't need that and just came to visit.

Hot, hotter, hottest

Corpus Christi, TX has had the last 15 days with temperatures above 95 degrees F. That is unusual for June. My son DC in Austin says that the high temperature there for the past two days has been 105 degrees F. BJ in Houston said it was 104 degrees F. yesterday. TOO HOT!

So I am glad I'll have a week respite in Canada, especially in Banff. My cousin's wedding is in Banff on Wednesday, July 1. I fly back to the heat the next day.

"Demystifying Mysticism" Conference

I am leaving for Calgary, Alberta, Canada tomorrow for the next week, but I want to put some of the highlights here from the "Demystifying Mysticism" Summer Institute at Oblate School of Theology--or I'll never do it! (Next year their Summer Institute will have Walter Brueggemann as the main speaker!)

Thomas Keating:

• a mystic is anyone with a human soul
• Human problem is that we don't have a big enough idea of God
• Mysticism is the reality of Divine Presence
• Due to God's humility, God wants to raise everyone up to the Divine level.
• The Word is vibrating, so we must vibrate at the same level to receive it. Thus we need to practice in be-ing.
• To gain Jesus' consciousness is the Kingdom of God
• Greatest thing we can give God is to allow God to love us
• Gift of contemplative prayer is already given to us. It is an innate gift. It is how to consent to whom you already are.
• Humans build walls, doors, boundaries--but there are NONE.
• atheism has its own dogmas
• God's presence is deepening in us all the time.
• Practice of prayer helps us to fall away from our habitual thoughts.
• 12 Steps of AA is the deepest experience of Christianity. We become willing for God to take away our faults as our own efforts will not succeed.
  

Jan Puckett on Buddhist Mysticism:

• Begin any activity with well wishes for others
• "Don't believe everything you think." --Pema Chodron
• wisdom + compassion = awareness

Susan Gibler on Contemporary Earth Mysticism:

• everything we do every day affects the earth
• what we do and think matters and affects each other
• our job is to love what God loves
• song from Jan Novotka:

May all I do today

be for the healing of the whole
May all I do today
Mend this broken world
May all I do today
Bring blessing on the Earth
May all I do today
Be for the good of all
All I do today.

Sylvia Maddox on Celtic Christianity:

• Thanks be to God that I have risen today
• Bless whatever we use or do so it might be used for God
• All activities are encircled in God's care; all is connected.

This is just a smattering of what I saw and heard. The overall emphasis was on sitting in silence with God as a daily practice, which will increase our awareness of our unity with all creation. Centering prayer or such silent practice is a response to God's love and a way to increase human consciousness to the next level.

June 24

June 24 was/is my dad's birthday. If he had not died in 2002, he would be 87 today. I always remember my parents' birthdays, even though they both have died.

In contrast, a vigorous Thomas Keating spoke at the conference at the age of 86. He flew in from London the day before he spoke and today flew to speak in Washington, DC.

Today is also the Feast of John the Baptist. I learned that this day is observed as John of the Cross' birthday, though Fr. Kelly Nemeck said it was either his birthday or his baptismal date (in 1542), because it is known that John's mother named him after John the Baptist.

Also, today was my son DC's last day of work. We hope he'll find a new job soon as a construction supervisor or assistant supervisor. At least his wife AA has a good job. They live in Austin.

And I am back from the conference "Demystifying Mysticism" in San Antonio. I left before the last talk that was given by Ron Rolheiser (which is currently going on), because I had to drive for 2 1/2 hours. All the way home the car thermometer registered at 102 degrees F. (The conference was excellent.)

Take, O take me as I am

Take, O take me as I am;

Summon out what I shall be;

Set your seal upon my heart

And live in me.

from Come All Ye People by John Bell and the Wild Goose Resource Group of the Iona Community

The Week Ahead

This coming week seemed far away until now. Here it is! Tomorrow I am driving to San Antonio for two nights and three days. I'll be attending the Summer Institute at Oblate School of Theology, which this year is entitled "Demystifying Mysticism." The main speakers will be Fr. Thomas Keating
and Fr. Kelly Nemeck, OMI, founder of Lebh Shomea House of Prayer in Sarita, TX,

and Fr. Ronald Rolheiser, OMI, current president of Oblate School of Theology.
They are all authors of excellent books, especially about contemplative prayer.

I went to my first OST Summer Institute in 2000, when I was considering enrolling at the school. Back then it was sparsely attended and was set in the old part of the school. Now hundreds will be there--at the Oblate Renewal Center, which is also where I attended the Two Year Spiritual Formation Academy with Katherine E. and the recent Shalem retreat.


I'll return home on Wednesday night and then on Friday will fly to Calgary, Alberta, Canada to visit my cousin Margaret and attend her daughter's wedding in Banff. I'll write more about that right before I leave.

KIVA for Father's Day

Kiva is the world's first person-to-person micro-lending website, empowering individuals to lend directly to unique entrepreneurs around the globe. Read more here.

I just ordered a gift certificate for my father-in-law for Father's Day, which is being emailed to him right now. I hope he and his wife will be interested in participating in this micro-loaning venture for some person and will follow through to do this. To me, this would be an exciting and interesting endeavor.

A prayer I need to pray daily

Lord, help me now to unclutter my life,
to organize myself in the direction of simplicity.
Lord, teach me to listen to my heart;
teach me to welcome change, instead of fearing it.
Lord, I give You these stirrings inside me,
I give you my discontent,
I give you my restlessness,
I give you my doubt,
I give you my despair,
I give you all the longings I hold inside.
Help me to listen to these signs of change, of growth;
to listen seriously and follow where they lead
through the breathtaking empty space of an open door.

Source: unknown

From Inward/Outward. Subscribe here.

Diet (not)

Friday Five: Life is a Verb

Digh, Patti. Life is a Verb: 37 Days to Wake Up, Be Mindful,
and Live Intentionally. Guilford, CT: Skirt!, 2008.

From RevGalBlogPals:
Jennifer recommended this book, which I got because I always value Jennifer's reading suggestions. The author of Life is a Verb, Patti Digh worked her book around these topics concerning life as a verb:

• Say yes.
• Be generous.
• Speak up.
• Love more.
• Trust yourself.
• Slow down.

As I read and pondered about living more intentionally, I also have wondered what this Friday Five should be. This book has been the jumping off point for this Friday.

1. What awakens you to the present moment?
Change. From lectio divina on Wednesday, my invitation is to ask myself "Why?" or "Why am I doing this?" and keep asking to get to the real point--like just wanting to chew on something even though I am not even hungry or that it tastes good.

2. What are 5 things you see out your window right now?
swinging bench that has rotten slats on one side of the seat; pansy plaque on the brick wall; French door that is pitted from dogs jumping on it; dried, brown leaves in the cracks by the door; leaves reflected in the window.

3. Which verbs describe your experience of God?
giving, loving, increasing, hiding, surprising

4. From the book on p. 197:
Who were you when you were 13? Where did that kid go?
I lived in Japan on a Navy Base and was best friends with my still-good-friend Nancy. I was one of the smartest kids (as was she), but shy and unsure around boys. This was the first grade where someone was taller than me--a girl! This is when I wondered how God could know everything but give us free will. . . .and was told about predestination, which I could not understand.

I can still be shy and unsure of myself around all sorts of people, but I'm finally growing out of this. Questions about God knowing everything are dissolving into the Mystery, because I do not believe that God points at each of us, zapping or blessing us at each moment.

5. From the book on p. 88:
If your work were the answer to a question, what would the question be?
What is there to learn?

Bonus idea for you here or on your own--from the book on p. 149:
"Go outside. Walk slowly forward. Open your hand and let something fall into it from the sky. It might be an idea, it might be an object. Name it. Set it aside. Walk forward. Open your hand and let something fall into it from the sky. Name it. Set it aside. Repeat. . . ."

Zappos

With the lack of many places to shop here for shoes that are comfortable, I usually buy my shoes at Zappos.com. Free shipping both ways is wonderful, so that when the shoes do not fit, it costs nothing to send them back to Zappos.

The reason I decided to write about Zappos is that I was blown away by my shoes arriving this afternoon after ordering them online last night. I ordered a pair of Keen sandals on Monday night, which got here on Wednesday. Wednesday night I re-ordered them because I needed a larger size, and today I sent the first box back. AND I got the new pair today, too. Wow.

Here's a little review of Zappos, if you don't know anything about this online store.

Obama and Gay Rights

My daughter AE has written a fact-filled post about Obama's pre-election promises about gay rights that he is breaking as president. Go here to read it.

I am not as well-read as she is and I appreciate her posting about issues I should know more about. One of her daily sources is Americablog, which I forget to look at.

She motivated me to look on Google, where I found this editorial in yesterday's New York Times, A Bad Call on Gay Rights:

"The Obama administration, which came to office promising to protect gay rights but so far has not done much, actually struck a blow for the other side last week. It submitted a disturbing brief in support of the Defense of Marriage Act, which is the law that protects the right of states to not recognize same-sex marriages and denies same-sex married couples federal benefits. The administration needs a new direction on gay rights.

"A gay couple married under California law is challenging the act in federal court. In its brief, the Justice Department argues that the couple lack legal standing to do so. It goes on to contend that even if they have standing, the case should be dismissed on the merits.

"The brief insists it is reasonable for states to favor heterosexual marriages because they are the 'traditional and universally recognized form of marriage.' In arguing that other states do not have to recognize same-sex marriages under the Constitution’s 'full faith and credit' clause, the Justice Department cites decades-old cases ruling that states do not have to recognize marriages between cousins or an uncle and a niece.

"These are comparisons that understandably rankle many gay people. In a letter to President Obama on Monday, Joe Solmonese, president of the Human Rights Campaign, a gay rights organization, said, 'I cannot overstate the pain that we feel as human beings and as families when we read an argument, presented in federal court, implying that our own marriages have no more constitutional standing than incestuous ones.' "

Read the rest of the editorial here.

I am saddened and disappointed.

Quest for the Living God

Some time ago, a blogger, whom I do not recall, recommended this book by Elizabeth Johnson. I just started reading it and LOVE it. She believes that all human beings are on the Quest for the Living God, whether they realize it or not. Me, too.

In her various chapters, Johnson discusses an aspect of theology that has developed since the 20th century with 2-3 examples of theologians' writings. She ends each chapter with recommended books concerning what she had just covered.

I have only read three chapters and keep thinking the last one read is the best one. The chapter on "The Crucified God of Compassion" features theologians I admire greatly: Abraham Heschel, Jurgen Moltmann, Dorothee Soelle, and Johann Baptist Metz. Each chapter has such impressive scholars featured.

She uses breathtakingly beautiful language throughout, but especially in "Gracious Mystery, Ever Greater, Ever Nearer," which offers some insights from Karl Rahner. One of my favorite professors at Oblate School of Theology wrote his doctoral dissertation on Rahner; since I've always found Rahner too difficult to read, I have long wanted to learn more about him.

Here are words of both Elizabeth Johnson and Karl Rahner:

"The Whither of human self-transcendence is and must remain incomprehensible in depth and breadth, forever. We will never reach the end of exploring, having figured it all out. It is something like parallel train tracks that appear to meet at a point in the distance, but when you get to that point the tracks have opened up to another distant point. It is something like the horizon one sees when flying in an airplane; no matter how fast the jet goes, it never catches the horizon, which remains still farther beyond the window. It is something like being in and love and finding your beloved endlessly interesting and beautiful. There is always more. Rahner describes the idea of God as holy mystery in poetic, geographical terms:

'The horizon itself cannot be present within the horizon. The ultimate measure cannot be measured; the boundary which delimits all things cannot be measured; the boundary which delimits all things cannot itself be founded by a still more distant limit. The infinite and immense which comprises all things; such an all-embracing immensity cannot itself be encompassed.'

"This is why it is a mistake to think we can prove the existence of God the same way we prove the existence of a new planet or any other particular object of our experience in the world. We cannot discover God directly or indirectly as we might find a subatomic particle in the trailings of a cloud chamber. God is not one being who appears alongside other beings that exist, not even if we envision God as the greatest one, or the first, or the last. It is a mistake to think of God as an element within a larger world, as a part of the whole reality. Holy mystery cannot be situated within our system of coordinates but escapes all categories. Hence, to think rightly of God we must give up the drive to intellectual mastery and open up to the Whither of our spirit's hungry orientation. 'The concept of "God" is not a grasp of God by which a person master's they mystery; but it is the means by which one lets oneself be grasped by the mystery which is present yet ever distant.'" (38)

Johnson, Elizabeth A. Quest for the Living God: Mapping Frontiers in the Theology of God. NY: Continuum, 2007.

My car problems

Our driveway and garage floor look like this. Yesterday most of the oil drained out of my car, so the car had to be towed to the mechanic's shop.

However, I did not know that was the problem when I first encountered difficulties with my car. Yesterday when I was driving somewhere, there were a few whining noises and then the air conditioner was radically fluctuating. (And since we have been having record high temperatures almost every day, I want a working car--and house--air conditioner!) I called and asked CB what to do and he said not to worry and come home when I was finished with the task.

I did that and when I returned home, CB discovered that 3/4 of the oil had leaked out of the car! I could have fried the engine driving the car. . . .thankfully, I came home.

So the car was towed to the garage, and we picked it up this afternoon. They charged $136 for labor, because it took the mechanic so long to find the problem. There was a pin-sized hole in the oil return hose. That was all. He only had to replace it with a $10 rubber hose.

CB says that it seems ridiculous to recycle hot oil in a rubber hose; he says that these used to be made of steel. The mechanic said many cars now have these rubber hoses. Your car may, also.

I am very glad my car is fixed and that it seems as if this is unlikely to happen again soon.

Come Dance

Every
Child
Has known God,
Not the God of names,
not the God of don'ts,
Not the God who ever does anything weird.

But the God who only knows four words
And keeps repeating them, saying:
"Come dance with Me."

Come
Dance.

~~Hafiz

Sunday night

Steve Brodner illustration of Harry Potter

I just finished the fifth Harry Potter book (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix). This means that in the past month I have re-read all seven of the Harry Potter books. I enjoyed each one immensely and was inhabiting the world of Hogwarts et al, which may seem odd for a 58 year old woman, though not to my four children! I like these books so much that I am sure that I will re-read them all again in a few more years.

The dinner party on Friday night was fun, especially when everyone shared how they had met their spouses. This was especially interesting as three of the six couples were originally from foreign countries--England, India and Japan. The latter two had arranged marriages. The English couple met at what she called "the cellar" in Liverpool where the Beatles were just starting to play. (Her brother had told her about a new group that he thought was good.)

The wedding shower was better than expected, though I was the only one wearing a long linen skirt with a linen blouse and flat sandals. The standard uniform for women was a sundress with high heel sandals. Oh, well; I was comfortable and looked "like myself." I am not a good chit-chatter, but managed to keep other people talking when I was with them.

Maybe my perceived oddity was that CB and I left the church that most of the people in attendance at the shower belong to. In fact, we used to attend the Methodist Sunday School class they are still part of. We are very happy at our Episcopal Church, though that seems quite alien from a southern Methodist Church (even though I like to recall that John Wesley remained an Anglican priest until he died).

To celebrate the end of socializing as a hostess, I spent the rest of today reading the Harry Potter book. It was a lovely way to end the weekend.

Stressful socializing

That's how I sometimes feel in social settings. And this weekend is much more busy in that sense than usual, which stresses me out.

Tonight we are having a dinner party for CB's retiree friends, which is a monthly gathering. We rotate among the six couples. The one who hosts the "casserole club" provides the main meal, the drinks, and pleasant place to eat and meet. Others bring salads, vegetables, dessert. After all these years, I feel much more comfortable with these people.

CB is barbecuing salmon. I made a curried chick pea and rice salad, a vegetarian option for the one vegetarian coming tonight. At least there will be more salads for her, too.

Tomorrow night is a huge wedding shower for the daughter of a friend. I am one of 12 hostesses, if you can believe that. There will be about 100 people there, and it is much foufy-er than I am comfortable with. I am hoping that I will forget myself, since I am not cute and thin (or rich). It will probably be more fun than I expect, though CB may not agree. We'll see.

Anyway, this is being much more social than two introverts want to be!

Friday Five: Food or Trader Joe's

Sophia at RevGalBlogPals brings up the wonderful store Trader Joe's for this week's Friday Five about food:

So in honor of the new Trader Joe's, this week's Friday Five is all about food shopping.

1. Grocery shopping--love it or hate it?

I usually like to go grocery shopping at the only supermarket here in Corpus Christi is HEB. I love to go to Whole Foods Market in San Antonio and other cities, but not here. I learned about Trader Joe's from daughters AE and KA in Seattle.

2. Who is the primary food shopper in your household?

Me

3. Do you have a beloved store like TJ's which is unique to your location or family?

Nope

4. How about a farmer's market, or CSA share, as we move into summer? Or do you grow your own fruits/veggies/herbs?
No; it's too hot.

5. What's the favorite thing you buy at the grocery store?

If it was Whole Foods Market, it would be their little individual servings of creme brulee!