Happy Easter!

If this happened today?

  
 

Pie-Baking and Me

it’s 3:23 in the morning
and I’m awake
because my great great grandchildren
won’t let me sleep
my great great grandchildren
ask me in dreams
what did you do while the planet was plundered?

what did you do when the earth was unraveling?

surely you did something
when the seasons started failing?

as the mammals, reptiles, birds were all dying?

did you fill the streets with protest
when democracy was stolen?

what did you do
once
you
knew?...

---by Drew Dellinger (spoken poet)

Listen!

Some of Our Family

Our Austin family came to visit us in Corpus Christi this past weekend.

Chuck, David, Emma, Annie, Avery, Jan at Cole Park

It has been too long!!

I have not blogged since August 2015, even with several friends urging me to write again. As I re-read Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End by Atul Gawande, I feel immersed in thoughts and reflections of members in the Wisdom Class book group concerning the end of our days. My father-in-law and a dear friend, both in WA State, are in those times, not going gently   Lots of memories, emotions, and fears circulate in my mind and heart.

Since my parents died in 1992 and 2002, I remember living far away and traveling to be with them in their last days. That is very important, and I want that time for my husband, too. However, he is teaching chemistry classes in a community college and awaits spring vacation in another week. Does he need to go? Will there be enough time left?

I am lucky that I have been in a group of friends who meet monthly to discuss books on death. We even call it the "Death Group." It has made us more comfortable to discuss death and dying over several years so that we are willing to discuss physical, spiritual, and emotional issues of dying. One member has ALS and wanted us to pursue this topic. She has helped the rest of us continue thinking about our final days.

Over this time, I have found various articles that help me. One of the best is by David Steindl-Rast, author of Gratefulness, the Heart of Prayer. It is long, but very worthwhile:

Learning to Die by Brother David Steindl-Rast 

I hope I will blog again soon with love to all.

Is "Make Way for Ducklings" Outdated?

Being a grandmother and a woman with white hair, I am feeling like I am in the "older generation," especially when my granddaughter doesn't like one of my favorite picture books Make Way for Ducklings by Robert McCloskey. Granted, it was published in 1944--six years even before I was born, but I have always loved Roert McCloskey's books and pen-and-ink drawings.

I have saved a new hardback edition of Make Way for Ducklings for my grandchildren for some years. The last time we visited in Austin, I showed it to my 4 year old granddaughter Avery and asked if she was "old" enough for it, and she told me, "NO." Then a few nights ago, while they were staying at a beach house nearby, I brought it again and asked if she would like me to read it to her. Avery said she was "supposed to be 5," which may have been the obstacle, and I did not realize it. 

But I insisted upon reading it, because I am an excellent reader of children's books, (falsely) thinking that I could prompt Avery to like the book with me reading it to her. She sat with me for the entire reading of this long book, but did not seem to like the book. That disappointed me.

Unfortunately, I plunged myself into black-and-white thinking: she won't ever like McCloskey's books, and there are so many more: Blueberries for Sal and One Morning in Maine. Pen and Ink drawings are not as inviting as contemporary book illustrators? (What about FERDINAND??)

But it is time for honesty. That was too much about me and not Avery. I want to share the books I love, but maybe they are not for her. . . .or maybe some other time. I want my grandchildren to enjoy books and Avery and Emma do. That is the most important thing of all.

Farewell Friday Five: Hello/Good-bye

 

This is the last Friday Five that I will host after some years of presenting the third Friday Five of each month. I was honored to be asked and am grateful for the times of inspiration and laughter from you RevGals who played!

Our lives entail many beginnings and endings of periods or chapters. We can look back and see where we said “Hello” and “Goodbye.”  Today please look at those times in your life. Be original or play along with these five suggestions:
I am saying “Hello” and/or “Goodbye” to:
 

1. book: I just finished Broken For You by Stephanie Kallos, a book I purchased on my Seattle trip at the Elliott Bay Bookstore from the rack that was labeled "Seattle authors." It is a sweet, good book that brought me to tears in some places. I highly recommend this book published way back in 2004

 

2. habit or practice: Of late I have said "good-bye" to regular centering prayer/meditation. I regret that and keep feeling nudged to begin again. 

 

What I have begun in earnest are leg exercises as recommended by my physical therapist to relieve the hip bursitis pain that has afflicted me off and on since January.

 

And I am saying good-bye to hosting Friday Fives for RevGalBlogPals.

 

3. idea: After reading The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander, I have had to leave behind my belief that racism does not affect me. This book opened me up to many avenues of social justice that I am just beginning to learn about.

4. food: I used to eat peanut butter much more frequently than I do now.

 

5. person: It takes me years to give up on a person that no longer tries to contact me (or me them), and it seems like that is happening a little more frequently now that I do not write letters (and even postcards) as much as I did formerly.
 

One More Day

It is hard sometimes to drag ourselves

back to the love of morning

after we’ve lain in the dark crying out

O God, save us from the horror. . . .

God has saved the world one more day

even with its leaden burden of human evil;

we wake to birdsong.

And if sunlight’s gossamer lifts in its net

the weight of all that is solid,

our hearts, too, are lifted,

swung like laughing infants;

but on gray mornings,

all incident—our own hunger,

the dear tasks of continuance,

the footsteps before us in the earth’s

belovéd dust, leading the way—all,

is hard to love again

for we resent a summons

that disregards our sloth, and this

calls us, calls us.

"The Love of Morning" by Denise Levertov. Text as published in Selected Poems, edited by Paul Lacey (New Directions, 2002).

Which way?

I don't even know what day it is! Today for the second time in several months, I posted the THIRD Friday Five for RevGalBlogPals. . . . .and this was the last time I would do it. Instead, my "farewell" was too early. I know that's because I haven't been looking at the calendar and don't even know what the date is! Befuddled. . . . I am grateful that someone could delete that posting for August 21, because that date has not arrived yet.

My Grand-Dog

My youngest daughter has a Great Dane "puppy" (who has not yet reached full growth). She took a peaceful picture of Maverick at her home, looking out the window. I love this image so much that I asked her permission to put it on my blog, and she agreed.

Picture Taken By M. J. Hilton

I hope I will meet Maverick soon!

My Ride in a Convertible

While in Bellingham, Chuck's brother Tom gave me a whizzing ride in his Lexus convertible. That was my first ride ever in a convertible!

Jan and Tom

A Few Pics of Mount Rainier

Here are a few pictures I took of Mount Rainier while we were on the first part of our trip in Seattle:




There are 46 cranes in Seattle now--lots of building of high-rise structures.

Happy Birthday to Chuck!

Today Chuck is 65! We went to the Colophon Cafe in Fairhaven (Bellingham, WA) for a lunch of peanut butter cream pie. This has been a rare favorite dessert for decades, since we were in college and dating.

I always slice off the top chocolate layer for Chuck to eat because I do not like dark chocolate. When the young waitress wondered where my chocolate went, I told her that. Then she said, "That is adorable!" (The giving to him part, I assume.)

Such a comment was sweet, but made me imagine an extremely elderly couple. . . .maybe what we are as we head into the Medicare years!

Blogging

I have had a respite from blogging since May (or longer). I did not even blog at all in the month of June. The main reason I am writing some now is that a friend I rarely see told me she missed my blog posts. At a good-by party for someone else, Nancy asked me if I was still blogging and that she missed seeing what I posted.

What a surprise! I did not think anyone noticed. Although I realize that blogging friends and other friends have treated me with patience and understanding, I am pleased that someone told me that my blogging posts were missed.

This is probably a poor time to start again, because tomorrow (Wednesday), Chuck and I are making our annual trip to WA State to visit our daughters in Seattle and Chuck's parents in Bellingham, plus friends that still live in the area. Going on a trip means busy-ness keeeps me away, but I will try to put some pictures and comments about what we are doing up.

The weather has been unseasonably warm/hot in WA State, so we hope that the 90 degrees weather is behind them. Chuck and I are too accustomed to being inside air-conditioned houses and find non-air-conditioned homes to be uncomfortable when it is so hot.

Luckily, where we will be staying in Seattle is at our long-time friends' home, and they have a basement that stays cool. In fact, that is where Chuck and I will be sleeping!

Prayer

“Prayer is an act of love; words are not needed.

Even if sickness distracts from thoughts,

all that is needed is the will to love.”

                                                     ~St. Teresa of Avila
 

Surely

Psalm 130

Out of the depths I call to you

Listen to my voice

Be attentive to my supplicating voice

If you tallied errors

Who would survive the count?

But you forgive, you forbear everything

And this is the wonder and the dread

You are my heart’s hope, my daily hope

And my ears long to hear your words

My heart waits quiet in hope for you

More than they who watch for the sunrise

Hope for a new morning

Let those who question and struggle

Wait quiet like this for you

For with you there is durable kindness

And wholeness in abundance

And you will loose all our binds

Surely

Norman Fischer. Opening to You: Zen-Inspired Translations of the Psalms. NY: Penguin, 2002. 159.

How I Experience God

“The power which I cannot explain or know or name I call God. God is not God’s name. God is my name for the mystery that looms within and arches beyond the limits of my being. When I pray to God, God’s answer comes to me from within, not beyond. God’s answer is yes, not to the specifics of my prayer but in response to my hunger for meaning and peace.”

~F. Forrester Church (1948-2009) Unitarian Universalist minister in NYC

While suffering from esophagal cancer before his death: “I look back without regrets, and I look forward without fear,” he told The New York Times in 2008. “I have never been more in the present.”

Friday Five: Random Thoughts

RevKarla brings today's Friday Five to RevGalBlogPals, which will be fun!

Playing Friday Five was my entree into the World of RevGals.  I remember the first time I played, I felt so welcomed by everyone’s comments.   That was in 2007.   And even though most of my blogging is through writing prayers for the RGBP blog, I can’t imagine my life or my ministry without this community.  I am so, so, so grateful.

So, since I am all weepy and happy thinking about this organization,  I offer you this Random Friday Five:

1.  What are you wearing right now?  (a question from my first FF play.)

TX is transitioning from a short spring to summer, so I am back to wearing sandals, along with light, striped pants from Chico's and a shirt with apples on the fabric, with rolled up sleeves, buttoned by a flap.

An advantage to living in hot and humid Texas is the fact that I can wear sandals almost year-round. My favorite and most comfortable kind are Wolky Jewel sandals, which I have in four different colors. This is the pair I have on today:

2.  What are you having for lunch (or dinner)?  (another question from my first FF play.)

Today is an eating-out day. For lunch, I am meeting my first friend (Lisa) in Corpus Christi from 1979 for lunch at a little restaurant that features salads and sandwiches. We grew up mothering our first three kids* together, but in recent years we only see each other once a month or so. I am looking forward to having a salmon salad with her.

Lisa and baby Avery, Dec. 2010

*Lisa had three children, and I had four. The first three are close in ages and grew up together, almost like cousins. We were initially connected through La Leche League when we were pregnant with our first children.

3.  Share an experience of community that was transformative or precious to you.

I am blessed with various small groups that give me experiences of community and continue to help me grow. One very small group that offers glimpses of the Holy One is the weekly Lectio Divina group that meets at First United Methodist Church.

One week ago three of us had a powerful experience of deep connection while in the Lectio Divina process pondering one long sentence of Paul's in Hebrews Hebrews 12: 1-2:

12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us,

12:2 looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right hand of the throne of God.

I continue to ponder "the sin that clings so closely" which was a totally new aspect of the scripture that I had never noticed (or had avoided) for years. I will not forget this time God blessed us with  felt presence of wordless, deep connection.



4.  Describe your favorite mug or glass.

My current favorite mug is one given by a friend named Pat for Saint Patrick's Day. It is a roundish, Polish-made mug with blue flowers and green shamrocks encircling it.

5.  Give a shout out to a friend or colleague!

 I immediately thought of Katherine of Meaning and Authenticity blog, who brought me into blogging with RevGalBlogPals in 2006 and whom I met at a 2 Year Spiritual Formation Academy in my covenant group. Love to you, Katherine!